What is your general behavior on dates? Providers, which do you prefer?

On a first date I let the provider take the lead, so I can get a better idea of her menu and comfort zone.  Although I'll often make suggestions when I sense she's open to that.  Beyond the first session, some providers have a plan they like to follow, and I'm fine with that if I'm having a good time.  But most are open to my ideas, so most of my dates after the first tend to be a mix of both of us leading sometimes and following other times.  

But it's not something I think about during a session.  I just go with the flow, do what seems natural and comfortable and fun for both of us, and everything seems to work out fine.

lest their timing be thrown off.

However, after time as we come to feel more comfortable with each other, then I can assert my own prerogatives and thus increase the overall enjoyment of the sessions.

That's the way it goes with the ones you stick with.

I feel him out, talk to him, let him chill out a bit and shake off the nerves, then when he starts to melt a little, I get more affectionate. But I like him to make the body language before I just stick my tongue down his throat lol.

When a guy walks through the door, he is another person, not necessarily a project. I also don't want to look like I have a routine.

Some guys cum really fast, but like the human touch, so they don't want to cum right away. That's why I like to follow their body language as well. Talking and touching, a drink, some laughs and rubs on the head, etc.

That's all part of sex for some guys. I would hate to drag him in and make him pop so quick that he misses out on the exciting stuff that leads up to it. I'm sure touch feels different after the Big Bang.

I'm sure I don't read the situation right all the time, and I worry about it a little bit... But I think doing the same thing over and over gets boring; therefore, I like the individual approach. I like to just 'be'. The goal is to let it happen feeling as a natural hook up.

Like speed dating with guaranteed sex at the end lol.

Makes it so much harder for her to stick the landing

I honestly don't know what to think about the timid johns who act like virgins at the prom.  Go into that session with confidence--dress well & look your best. Most women like men who are confident & independent.  You Lead.  Repeat: You Lead.  

  Where do you think you are?  You're swimming in a shark tank. This isn't Mystery Date. This is the sex trade, like the drug trade.  It's illegal, risky, & unforgiving.  If you act weak, you'll get what you deserve.  Act like you know what you're doing.  OMG.  --z

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I take the lead, my sessions aren't typical though. I have a basic routine of sorts but tweak every one according to the individual. I do tend to get lost in the moment at times so I typically extend sessions to accommodate all the techniques required for the best release possible.  After the first session I am okay with winging it more and more as time goes by and we've built a rapport. Yes, it's your hour but I don't see the point in seeking a Nuru or Tantra provider if you wish to be the lead. Face up on the bed and allow me to do something entirely different. There's something for eveyone. Glad I found this, really wish I had found it a long time ago.

even if its telling her to be dominating. Some of you know I like getting slapped, spit on, talked down to, bitten.. But she is still doing it at my behest.  

Like Zangari said.. Don't act like a virgin.

Unless you work for an agency - or show up with a mystery date you will be independent.  

 

I always take the lead. I'm paying for her time and I am not submissive. However, I am a very likeable guy in person. The ladies seem to open up and feel comfortable with me relatively quickly, because Im, according to them, cute. I'm talkative and have an expressive personality, so they seem to be comfortable with me overall. I'm harmless LOL. I walk in, or she walks in, I have a big smile and once thru the door I say hello and give her a light hug if she does not first. If I have a room, I always have an ice cold bottled water to offer her, with the cap sealed for her to crack open herself, which I feel adds an element of trust and safety, or if she offers me something, Ill politely ask if I can break the ice. Since they always say yes, I lean in, in a non aggressive way, and kiss her with out tongue, smile and ask her very politely with a smile if she would like to sit down. I really have no issues at all. For play time, I always lead. I just direct them in what I want them to do, or how I want them, again, because its my dime and my fantasy. Since Im pretty vanilla there is never any boundaries that I cross, so no issues there. On a side note, I wont do edging anymore. I have found this practice to be painful to the women, because if I wait to long to finish and she is dry, it can become painful for her so I dont do that anymore.  

I have only had issues with agency girls, because they are often new to the hobby and less experienced, or with younger spinners because they're so tiny. Im 6'1" tall and 195 pounds, so a 5' tall, 110 pound girl who is barely 21 can be a little intimidated. So I dont book appointments with tiny women anymore, or young, inexperienced agency types.  
 -- Modified on 10/4/2014 8:22:09 AM

   
  You're not independent if you're submissive and a prisoner to whatever she wants to do (or not do).  
If she's a cold fish, I'm walking out immediately.  You have to be able to walk away from that pussy (check the linked post on the newbie board).   If you're into some serious kink, then in fairness to the provider, you should work that out beforehand.  

 In any business transaction, you have to be able to walk away from the deal--or you'll get fucked over (and not in a good way).  --z

If you don’t give them a shove they’ll never jump.

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When you went back and saw her.

 
the sensible thing to do would be move on to another provider there a millions of them.  

 

....but some of those pix were pretty creative.

That alas was me in the beginning.  Now it's usually skydiving with someone I know pretty well and things just sort of happen, but now even if I'm the one being pushed at least I know to I grab hold tight, take you with me, and try to pick a good spot to land.  

btw, your posts show an consistently uncommon perceptiveness... I truly enjoy them!  -- Modified on 10/4/2014 12:30:00 PM

 I wish the above was true.  There are not *millions* that look like this girl--that kind of beauty is rare, and she knew that better than anyone.  I paid for her room because:  
1. It was the gentlemanly thing to do--she did book an hour for me & I walked out.  
2. I thought I might hear from her again.  

 You need to understand the play.   I got what I wanted, and so did she.  --z

Shan't be the classiest establishment.

Zats not always zee case zhough. If zee girl is pretty I end up losing mi self in zee gurl's mezmerizing beauty unt let hur taken sie lead.

Because I got the tongue down my throat the minute I walked in the door!

If the guy leans in for a kiss, that is signal enough to insert the tongue lol. If he scoots all the way to the corner of the couch and doesn't look at me, he needs a drink and some jokes lol.

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Are adrenaline junkie's who don't need a push at all...

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 1:27:48 PM

When are you coming back to the gateway city so we can again?

Most likely January for that big conference.

I'll need to escape the cold again, so my visit may be a tad longer than a week. Just need to drink more water because my throat was so dry lol. I'm used to humidity.

I'll def let you know when I go whoever you are lmao!!

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 12:15:09 PM

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 That pit bull was no pup. He actually charged me when I walked into the room.   I stood perfectly still as he sniffed me over.  But I won him over--he eventually dropped to the floor & I gave him a tummy rub, lol.   It took an extra day to thaw out the goddess.  Some hotels will allow a pet for an extra charge.  --z

I'm surprised a hotel would take on the added risk of accommodating a guest whom travels with a dog that is deemed an aggressive breed.

 You'd want to see this provider, even if she was dragging around a chimpanzee.  My SB once brought her pup to our hotel room.  She couldn't leave him alone in her apt--he'd chew up everything.  So I paid the hotel an extra $20 'pet fee'.  It's not as rare as you think.  That's an interesting point--that pit bull *could have been a potential liability for the hotel.  I doubt the provider informed hotel mgmt that she had a dog.  If you're turning tricks in a hotel room, why not sneak in a pit bull, lol.  --z

Maybe you can get an app from Apple to give you step by step instructions?  

I got it! For a nominal fee, you can Skype the interaction and I can talk you through it. All you need is an ear piece so the hooker doesn't know. I also rent testicles for a small fee as well. The best value is to get them in a "package" deal.

Jesus H. Christ. Where have all the REAL men gone?

is more than enough motivation for me to not see her

Otherwise you'll confuse the heck out of the poor woman!

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See what happens when you engage in "dialogue" with Our Little Johny?"  There are so many analogies.  It's like........
debating a lunatic....
walking through quicksand....
trying to get away from Tar Baby....
In the end you've done nothing but waste oxygen and brain cells

-- Modified on 10/4/2014 8:29:45 AM

This is perhaps the most powerful douche in the universe.  His total douchiness is so dense that all nearby matter is sucked into it and crushed.  This includes all rational thought.

and let her do as well. Take our cues from each other, and let it flow, organically. Sometimes I'm more dominant and assertive, sometimes not - depends upon the chemistry and mood. It's all good.  

No reason to over-think it.

I wondered how a gentlemen that was visiting with a lady could be anything but independent.

z tried to answer the question with a YMMV post where he charmed the ladies pitbull... paid her room bill... and got a return phone call from the lady asking him to come back.

That's not being independent. That is creating a codependency in a relationship where the dynamics of such behavior are unnecessary

...she is not moving I take the lead.  However, my former ATF would play a different game each time I met her.  I never knew what was waiting for me behind her door.  She was the horny GF, a stripper in the VIP room, a DOM, the submissive shy girl, the lap dancer.  She was hotter than a Saturday night special and great fun.  I loved her games.  She could take the lead anytime as she was very inventive - it was like a different girl every time.  I remember once as she lowered herself on my face she told me, "When you taste peppermint from now on you will think of me."   She was right!  I need to hunt her up and see where it leads.....

The result is always the same

See I don't mind a little chat, shaking off the cold so to speak, but I also don't like to waste too much time either.  Initial meetings, sure.  I hang back and do a little "get to know you" but chatting away any not getting indications of when the hanky panky is gonna start can be awkward.  I like a good indication that its time to get naughty before I move in.  Heck, if I knew the right way to initiate I would have had way fewer female friends during the course of my life and way more lovers (non p4p) in my life.

I like when the gal takes the plunge to break the ice.  I can dominate if asked to but its not in my nature to be aggressive at the outset.  In fact, I'm pretty vanilla in my tastes

There are some hookers who are naturally dominant and don't play well with those aggressive, domineering "in the DNA" types who want to order her around...do this, now do that, now do the other thing, and switch, pump 20 times and switch, pump another 20 times and switch...us ladies know the type and some women love the trick choreography.  

I hate it, I offer a GFE and I prefer the BFE in return. Never have I had a BF act like the above and if he did, GTFO.  

Ask me for something like I am  a human being and not fuck doll. Or I shall treat that type of trick like an ATM and the POS that he is as far as I am concerned.  

Real men don't treat women like pieces of meat, they don't have to. They can get what they need in ways that douche bags can't even fathom and it really is very simple, treat the hooker you are with like a human being, they same way you want to be treated by the hooker, not some slob with cash that she has to tolerate.

the gateway city is St. Louis... you know the one with the Arch... home to Ted Drewes custard, Anheuser Busch, and the Cardinals.

"Real men don't treat women like pieces of meat"  Damn straight... For me this is not about dominance or submission, but about two people enjoying each other... and I seek out like minded ladies who enjoy respectful confident gentlemen like myself... and that has worked great for me so far on this playground.

BTW... I loved your post... a intelligent confident woman such as yourself is a very big turn on for me.

The breed is only as aggressive as the owner who trained him. I use to bring my APBT with me on tour when she was a puppy, up to a year old, and yes, the hotels knew she was there, and even met her on occasion. Many hotels, from 3-star up to 5-star, allow pets...some have a $5-$10 per nite charge, others $50-$100/nite charge (refundable if no damage).  

P.S. You can train a golden retriever to be an attack dog if you so choose...it's not the breed..it's the owners..and most people do not even classify APBT in the correct class...most aren't even Pits, but mixed breeds.  

Agreed. Everyone's different...some gents come right in with no reservations...while others cower like you are are going to bite them, lol. You just have to go with the flow, and act accordingly based on the individual gents personality.  

He's been here for a while in different forms but is still clueless.

I don't mind pets in the least, just like children(even though pets aren't children) there is an appropriate time and place for them. Which is not during the date, the date should be about the people on the date. I don't need to make myself look good, as I said I like animals, so they should be somewhere else where someone can devote the appropriate attention they need. Wants versus needs yadda yadda yadda!

The pitbull comment was simply a liability issue that could become a problem for the hotel. Even a cat bite could become a law suit, which the hotel does not want. z- was using the pitbull as an example, so I used the same example. I'd label a penguin that injures a person as an aggressive breed of penguin, because that was the breed of penguin that caused the injury.  

 
You know folks say white people smell like wet dogs?...  

No need to enforce the stero-type by actually smelling like a wet dog.

First visit I'm feeling things out. Hopefully there will be some polarity. Additional visits I will take the lead though I wouldn't describe it as 100/0. More like 70/30 or 80/20, though I could be comfortable closer to 50/50. I like strong women so ideally wouldn't want to be with someone who was completely submissive. A strong woman who enjoys being led in the bedroom is the best. In such a case, role reversal could be a fun option.

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Not only am I the man, but I am also the client. Taking the lead is what I do. Don't like it? They can leave and refund my money. Still waiting for that to happen. Lol

Don't see how you confused "leading" with treating a hooker "like a piece of meat." Gigantic gap between the two notions HT.

Guess what? They never not take my money and they never say they won't see me again. Coincidence? I think not.

They can turn off the "naturally dominant" nonsense for a few hours and at $$$$$ per, they all seem to manage to do so rather easily. Lol

In case you missed the end of the movie, Bluto grabbed the hot chick and threw her in his car. And she LIKED it. Women want the man to lead. They NEED the man to lead.  

Btw, I am having a special on that testicle rental. You may want to look into it.

Epic fail, Senator.

I've been bouncing the idea of STL around in my head for a while. Hoping I can get out there this fall or winter. It's only a 5 hour drive, and I can stop in Springfield on my way there.

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Did not mean to imply that I don't take the lead... But that does not mean you run roughshod over people... I'm very independent minded, don't respond well to authority, and don't suffer fools very well... but I do believe in treating everyone with respect and dignity... how they respond is up to them.  

As far as women and our BCD activities... It is all about give and take... On our first meeting, I take the lead, but as our time progresses and we become more comfortable together... the line blurs as we respond to each other's cues in sharing our passion.  

Thank's for the suggestion about changing my alias... but I'll pass.

I have no need for the dude to lead, I prefer a more collective approach.  

I see plenty of men with balls that see no need to throw me anywhere and we seem to have a fine old time without the posturing. It really is all about finding a good match. Your way suits you and the Senators way suits him. If I were to choose , the Senator is more my speed. You are a ton of fun to converse with.

-- Modified on 10/6/2014 7:57:34 AM

As you portray here Jacko. Just a feeling I get.

To some guys leading does mean treating her like that. To others it does not, maybe I should have said that, so good catch on that one.

You clearly have picked the right hookers to see then, nothing wrong with that and good research on your part.

I can't turn off the naturally dominant side, it is who I am. And I make sure I see guys who don't find that an issue. The way my website is worded and worded very carefully is to attract those who prefer that style.

I have no issue with a guy who leads with a gentle hand and is cognizant of my responses. A bull at a gate who likes to roughhouse, not so much and as much as you shut it down and walk, I would shut that down and give money back and leave. Clearly I am doing something right as I have not had to do that yet.

Neither type is right or wrong, simply a preference each of us has.

-- Modified on 10/6/2014 8:00:53 AM