Just musing about how some gals will tell you their entire life story in the first 20 minutes that you meet them, while others I have know for over ten years and still don't even know their real first name, let alone their last name. With most however, you do get to know their back story in dribs and drabs, especially if you spend some off the clock time with them. They get to know mine as well, not that it is about to be turned into a major Hollywood movie anytime soon. Some of their lives, on the other hand, make compelling stories. There are those who wrote autobiographies (many on line) that are quite compelling.
Not that is makes a lot of difference to me. If I do see them for years and years it means that they are great providers.
Of course their are probably a lot of clients who would rather hear them recite the phone book rather than reveal anything personal about themselves, and that's cool also. Fantasy is.a big part of this game and reality can often be a buzz-kill.
I think that I must come off as the type that is open to hearing about people's lives.
Just wondering what other people's experience with this is.
I was just having this discussion with a friend. The range of personalities among the ladies, and how quickly they trust, varies to such a degree that it is truly incredible. When I first started, I was only doing QVs, i.e. the shortest amount of time the provider would allow. Sometimes it was an hour, but many were half hours. There was barely enough time to play, let alone exchanging any personal info, but that's the way I wanted it. It was only about sex and nothing else. "Connection" was lost on me back then bc I didnt know it to be possible, so I didn't even bother to try.
But something was lacking after awhile and I kept hearing about "The Girlfriend Experience." It sounded intriguing but I didn't know how to find a girl like that. I went on a board, a pre-cursor to TER, and just placed a post where a guy responded privately and kind of mentored me and took me through the process. It was like I was shown this totally different world, with deep convo, lots of deep kissing, snuggling after the act, etc. I was riveted by it. It was as if my world was black and white previously and now I could see things in vibrant color!
So I started booking longer dates and couldn't believe how much some ladies would tell me about themselves. I was so fascinated. With some, I was always seeing them on their best days of their life. Not bc they were meeting me and I was special, but bc that was their p4p persona, and they never veered from it. They always brought sunshine and rainbows to the sessions. But then one particular girl, who I grew very close to, brought the whole enchilada. lol.
She would tell me about the difficulties in her life and the joys. I thought this was amazing. Her openness led to mine and within 3-4 dates, we were basically telling each other everything. It brought us very close.
I know there are some men reading this that wont be able to relate, thinking the only reason to see a provider is to "get their nut" as they will say. lol. Thats fine, I wouldn't have put it that way, but I guess I was doing essentially the same thing in my QVs when I started out.
These days, I will keep seeing a "sunshine and rainbows" girl. No problem. If they are beautiful, friendly and skilled, I wouldn't stop seeing then bc they dont share personal things. But I just am a bit more intrigued and fascinated with girls that are willing to share the good and bad, be it in their p4p lives or their RW ones. I don't ever expect it, I don't dig for personal info as I think that just has to happen on the ladies time frame, organically, and at her comfort level, but when it does happen it makes the relationship, for me at least, that much more fulfilling and lends itself to a much greater intimacy with her, both of the sexual kind and the non sexual kind.
I’m looking for quality connections & make friends for life, so lying is not in the cards for me. I am 45 with decades of experience in this industry. I believe the best relationships I have created stem from being honest about my life. Struggles, sacrifices & kids is what many of my clients find a connection. Family is everything to me as a strong single Mom, so those who reserve my time respect me as the head of my household. Life is our greatest teacher.
Good post. I always enjoy the positive feedback from Mr Fisher. I hit the like button on posts because this is a caring community. We are all not here for the same reasons. Many of us are seeking an intimate relationship that is mutually beneficial.
I can't imagine at this point in your provider career it's at all that easy to attract NEW customers. At least you can maintain a reasonably good supplemental income with a few tricks a month to boost what you earn changing adult diapers until your "friends for life" die or find someone better. Kudos on knowing how to turn lemons into lemonade. I'm in a "caring" mood today.
the part I've found most enjoyable is exploring their attitude towards this business. The best of them are what I'd call sexual adventurers and sexual outlaws. They get off on being renegades who live on the edge. The only trouble with that is if it comes with a "burn the candle at both ends" approach that ends up damaging them.
Either way, they really are unique.
When you say some "burn the candle at both ends" approach are you referring to them taking on too many dates, eating up too much of their time, too many late nights, too much drinking, etc and therefore negatively affecting their personal lives or where you saying something completely different? Thanks for your take.
I am an open book about my life personally and professionally.
If you follow me on twitter and then meet me in real life pretty much everyone says that I am exactly the same person as I come off as on social media.
I had a client also send me this video, I think it sums up sex work and the need for it very well in society. It really comes down to making a connection.
The "connection" doesn't happen with every girl, on every date, but when it does it's just an incredible experience. Funny how we came 180 on this in society. In the 1990s, when "Pretty Woman" came out, sex work was about AVOIDING the connection at all costs. "Dont kiss!" was the advice one SW would give another. I'm glad that all changed! lol
I found that video late last year when another poster sarcastically said something about YOUR Ted talk and dumbass that I am, I went looking for it! 🤦♂️
It’s a great speech!!
My life is an open book.
Just musing about how some gals will tell you their entire life story in the first 20 minutes that you meet them, while others I have know for over ten years and still don't even know their real first name, let alone their last name. With most however, you do get to know their back story in dribs and drabs, especially if you spend some off the clock time with them. They get to know mine as well, not that it is about to be turned into a major Hollywood movie anytime soon. Some of their lives, on the other hand, make compelling stories. There are those who wrote autobiographies (many on line) that are quite compelling.
Not that is makes a lot of difference to me. If I do see them for years and years it means that they are great providers.
Of course their are probably a lot of clients who would rather hear them recite the phone book rather than reveal anything personal about themselves, and that's cool also. Fantasy is.a big part of this game and reality can often be a buzz-kill.
I think that I must come off as the type that is open to hearing about people's lives.
Just wondering what other people's experience with this is.
we share and the "real" comes out. I consider a trust shared to be an honor and a privilege. I would never violate that trust.
If we don't share that level of intimacy and trust, I certainly don't worry about it.
I’ve at times been amazed at some of the things shared with me. It’s a humbling honor. It’s not because I’m charming or anything, I promise I’m not. I guess like Mr. Fisher said, there’s something about me that just seems safe. Or comfortable.
If not, we still have tons of fun. I don’t expect it.
About themselves, their upbringing, their beliefs, sexual experiences, other clients, etc. But then I remind myself not to ask them. Why?
A wise man once said: "Don't ask the question, if you don't want to hear the answer."
their life story until I've repeated a few times. Nothing seems more like a hustle to me than burning up the time I'm paying for with a lot of chit chat. At this point, I'm only interested in their looks and skills. if I want to know them on a deeper level, I will repeat based on how they did on the "skills" test. She can be the sweetest thing with a great personality, but if they are not a great fuck the first time out, chances are, I will never see them again, so why do I need the baggage of their life story? Just keeping it real, ladies.
Many have had too many bad experiences dealing with no good scumbags , that it becomes hard to trust anyone even after years of knowing a client to be a good guy. Am no psychologist, but she may just be thinking - when is this guy gonna 'F' me over,because they all and always do.