: TER General Board Discussion : I asked her for her real name... -e-

posted 10 years ago

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Hey fellas... I was hoping you could help me out with some advice...

I had a rendezvous yesterday and whoa nelly was it a doozy...

First off, the booker sent me to the wrong hotel and when the old lady answered the door I was speechless at first... but then was able to gather my wits to ask her if she was Crystal... She smiled and said demurely, she could be for the right price... I said no thanks, I think I have the wrong room...

Well, I called the booker back and finally got the right hotel... Thank God when the real Crystal (okay, not her real name but at least she was the girl in the pictures) opened the door... or so I thought... little did I know that this one was a real wild one... first off, she said she wanted to be my ATF and wanted to know what song would be our song... I thought to myself, what does automatic transmission fluid have to do with this... and this "our song" crap was seriously freaking me out...

That was only the beginning... she started quoting Nietzsche to me... asked that I swing from the chandelier, like Clyde and Philo in Every Which Way but Loose.. then wanted me to take her to a strip club... I should have ran, but I was thinking with my dick instead of my head, because this gal was seriously "hot" I mean an 11 on a 10 point scale "hot".

After we finished our acrobatic routine... (I think I may have pulled several muscles I didn't know existed)... we laid back and she started in on me about what kind of review was I going to write... she had heard that guys come to Jesus when writing reviews... was I going to see Jesus?... was I going to use my alias? ...what was my alias? ...why do guys use an alias? ...I'm like, look, you knocked my socks off and you're hot as hell, don't worry about the review.

Now comes my dilemma... I go to write the review and find... you guessed it... she delisted herself... Now what? ...BTW, I seeing her again next week ...I hope my back holds out.