Since he(she?) hasn't been around much lately, and the state of writing is always a subject for this board, I thought (Having a couple of free minutes on my hands today.) I would set forth this manifesto to improve the state of belle lettres on here.

Rules for Writing Good:

1.  Apostrophe's should only be used for possessive case and contraction's and never to form plural's.

2.  Do not use no double negatives.

3.  Always avoid generalizations

4.  Be more or less definitive when you write.

5.  Avoid Ad Hominem attacks.  People who do this are evil and worthless.

6.  Don't use contractions in formal writing.

7.  Always avoid redundancies every time you write.

8.  Do not mix your metaphors or your point will be mired in a sea of flaming antelope.

9. Eschew obfuscation.

10.  Ewes yore spill Czech.  

11.  Avoid making up lists with more than 10 items.


(Thanks and a tip of the hat to my love of my life for some helpful hints.)

his hair bust into flame and he ran shrieking from the condo they share with Satan, screaming, "That bastard, mrfisber! I'd rather be water-boarded than read that post! What next? Split infinitives and dangling participles? Up with that I will not put!  AAAaaaaaarrrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!"
PS: All the best to the love of your life.

... to elaborate further, I think relative to hobbyists and writing reviews, another absolutely certain way to avoid redundancy is to stick to past experience and actual facts.  That will help other hobbyists avoid unexpected surprises (i.e. providers operating under false pretenses) by planning ahead.

Agree with Mr. fisher and would like to comment!
I'll go point for point.

But all of my lady friends already say I'm an excellent cunnilinguist.  Especially right after I give them a big tip.  

Avoid cliches like the plague.

Well is an adverb (modifying a verb) and good is an adjective (modifying a noun).

Also use a and an correctly!!! You can tell a lot about someone by how they write, nothing gets me more jacked up than proper comma placement!!

yore spel Czech don't alwes spel write. So pleez: re-reed yore pst bef4 hitting "post mesage" butten.

mrfisher,  

Mr. Fisher we are talking about. Can't he say just about all he wants here? God knows I wasn't about to correct him. He seems like quite the gentleman, and well, gentlemen can get away with a lot can't they?

If they include a question mark or exclamation point, only two before the mark..! Get it..?

yeah, i'm guilty of # 5, but I didn't start it.  Tell your buddies ga gambler and doc to go fuck themselves.  Oops did I break the rule?  I've never been attacked like that in any forum.  All those messages against me by dickbrains and bimbos.

I think many readers of this presentation are missing the point that in all of the rules the OP are examples of the mistakes. This started with the "writing good"' instead of "writing well.

I guess you just didn't make that big an impression on me.

Oh, now I remember now, you are the jerk off. Or rather the guy who needs two days to recover from jerking off.  Did you really think you could make a statement like that around here without at least a few of the sharks smelling the blood in the water?

For an old man, you sure need to grow up a bit. Besides you need to save your energy in case you decide to jerk off again. I would hate to see you laid up for three days instead of two because you wasted all of your precious energy trying to take me on.

and I know exactly how to write "good" you simply start with a "g" end with a "d" and put a couple of "o;s" in the middle. See how easy that was? lol

You didn't get that this was a little exercise in sarcasm and word play? Dude if you want to play happily here you seriously need to get some game and grow a thicker skin.  Good luck with that.

Maybe tonight's his big date with Rosie Palm.  Might even be  a four-some?

I just knew you would reply, maggot mouth.

that's right I was waiting for you to come over,scum sucker

the forums i'm on don't play like that  We give constructive criticism and helpful information.  Most of what you guys put out would not get past our editor.  When I'm screwing a chick,I feel good, but it is costing me too much money.  Of course I jerk off to porn too.  It would be great but it makes me very tired.  Much more tired than actual sex.  That's what I was trying to say. Thanks for the comment.  You don't get it.  It's a problem for me.  And everyone viciously jumped on me.  That is not sarcasm.  Besides I feel sorry for doc and ga gambler.  They have no life except this forum  I put that out there and they were on it like stink on shit.

Turn on Maury and whack away.

There's still time to figure it out.  I suggest you lurk and see how things work here, then come back if you want to and be looser and less defensive.  You just can't be serious if you thought you could post about whacking off putting you out of action for two days and not get some shit here. Things are nicer on the Newbie Board so maybe you should try that.
As for Dr.Who and GaG, I know the Doc pretty well and GaG even better. Doc is strong medicine but he's no dope.  GaG is someone I know personally and have partied with on many occasions.  Believe me when I tell you he has a better life outside this forum than anyone but, well, me! LMAO.  You can take that to the bank.

have known that.  

I need to search and read back now.

hey I was an escort driver for many years, a bouncer and a private investigator for many years. I had more free pussy than you guys fantasize over. The best thing about doc and ga gambler is to hit ignore. DONE

I've been a screener and an M&G co-host.  Oh, and a hooker's dog walker once or twice, LOL!
But only a pussy puts people on "ignore."  It just proves you've got no game.

I also put assholes on ignore too  that's you and this feels so good DONE