Retired Providers, how do you emotionally handle YOUR past? Have you moved on mentally? Has it been difficult? Does anything haunt you? Any advice you could give other SO's (males) in how to deal with his ladies Past? This is a serious request, using an alias, so try to hold back on your sense of humor. Thanks.
I am truly amazed at how many men worry about the past of a retired provider as opposed to the past of your every day woman.
We now live in a society where 10 year olds are caught giving head on school playgrounds and all their parents can say is "At least they are not having intercourse"......sigh...no it means it just starts a little sooner because by the age of 16 they are bored and like any human animal move onto the next level of pleasure. Now the average female has as many or more sexual partners before marriage/commitment to one person than the average male does.
If you are involved with a Retired provider, one who no longer works than her past is her past. Just like a man's sexual past is his past. Should you judge her because she was in the sex industry? Is it trust? Do you fear because she was an escort she will try to continue to work. If that is not the issue then is it you are afraid of her experience?
I personaly have chatted on this subject with my SO on many an occasion and our friends. Some conclude, as I do, that I would personally rather have an idea of what and who she was doing (yes, yes we all know reviews are exaggerated) than be blind that the sweet woman I am involved with has been sport fucking her way unprotected thru her 20's.
The PAST is the PAST. If you give each other due cause to have a trust issue, then you shouldn't be together anyway.
I don't need to emotionally Handle my past. It is a part of who I am. The experiences of my life define who I am writing this post at this moment. I am not ashamed of what I did for a living, and I don't have to justify nor handle my past experience. I live my life by the same credo I did when I was working in the industry, this is me, love me or not, it's your choice.
If a guy falls in love with an ex-provider chances are he is getting a woman with no sexual hangups, with a pretty open mind and lots to share. Enjoy her for what she is and what she has to offer. Don't spend your time worrying about what she did before your relationship, worry about how you will strive together to make it work.
So maybe it all sounds too cliche' but almost 3 years into retirement and a great love and life proves to me that life happens..............no matter what, where or when. Enjoy the best parts
~v
-- Modified on 10/29/2005 10:11:34 PM
WWM...thank you so much for your honest reply, it helped a lot! I need ALL the help I can get.
Like most people, I would've said only a loser or a man with massive psychological problems would ever fall in love with a hooker, retired or not. Then, I met Gina from Frisco (since retired), and whoever is with her is lucky indeed no matter what he does or doesn't know about her past.
-- Modified on 10/30/2005 6:03:11 AM
Is there something wrong with this profession?
It's not like being a bank robber, or for that matter a politician who starts a war for bogus reasons and helps to get all his oil cronies rich.
Let's keep a little perspective here.
Thank you, Mr. Fischer, for stating that.
We're here by choice and many of us will move on to other professions and personal relationships over time, but because we rejoin "legitimate" society does not imply that we will lament our past. Some women, in order to be accepted back into "normal" society, do make a show of repenting, but I'm sure plenty do not. I view this as a terrific learning experience and would not settle down with a mate that is unable to appreciate it as well. What is there to be ashamed of?
Every person has a past, and we all do things from time to time that we're not proud of. But I would hope that a woman wouldn't enter into a career on her own volition that she has moral qualms with. So, if we're cool with it, our men need to be too.
Abbey Marie
we think, "man, why did we quit because of this ! Man, we were filthy rich... ah those were the days ! "
Haunt us ? Only hauntings of envelopes on the nightstand 2-3 times a day and we say- Argh.. That was fun !"
There isnt anything to deal with... shouldve thought about it before hand. Its a job.