The article below is a story about a phony site called marryourdaughter.com made my a man who wanted to elicit a dialog across the nation about how faulty our marraige laws are for young teenage girls. (it's all phony keep in mind) On this site there are personal ads that supposed parents have placed wanting to marry their 15 year old daughters...their have been thousands of proposals from men.
Bad men! The website developer wanted to shock the nation over the legality that parents can consent for the their young child's marraige.
What is the real undertown here? The creater has lured men with the false idea that they can legally have sex with 15 year old girls. THOUSANDS OF MEN PROPOSED! This was not mentioned in the article.
What was the website developer's intentions? Does he himself fantasize about having sex with little girls, and does he want the age of marriage-thus consentual sex- to change?
Or does he wish to put an end to young girls having sex legally in states with young age requirements on marraige laws?
I will not, under any circumstances, ever dress up like a cheerleader or a school girl when I provide. Even the fantasy of having sex with a child, to me, is deranged.
What do you guys think about this?
I agree with what this man was trying to do. We need to change marriage laws to protect our children from being forced into a situation that they could have a hard time getting out of. The government has stuck its nose into every other aspect of our lifes.
We have 18 year olds at war but they can't drink until they are 21. Old enough to die but not old enough to drank. You are forced to wear a seat belt. I understand there is always something behind these laws like the insurance companies.
But we are talking about children who are still trying to figure out what they want in life who have men who know what they want and see a legal way to get it.
Just goes to show you how many perverts are out there and the greed of some parents! How awful!
-- Modified on 9/18/2007 8:05:02 PM
Families in some cultures prepare their daughters to be sold to a wealthy man... knowing that he will provide for her. I do not condone this, but recognize that this is a fairly common practice in some parts of the world. Are they perverts? this is just a question.... as I say - in other cultures, this is an accepted norm... and I won't say which cultures....
I've known several women who married at an extremely young age, and the stories they have are terrible. I even worked briefly with one woman who married first when she was 13 and was unbelievably on her 5th marriage at 25 years old. I knew another who said at the age of 15 that she was absolutely, obsessively enthralled by the 26- -year-old guy she married. Her harsh background made her crave protection and stability. The guys who are into this can be extremely abusive. Either their teenage brides are rebellious as teenagers tend to be, or (as in the latter case) when they mature and are no longer cute but have the compliance of children, but with adult needs. A hebephile (a person attracted to teenagers) has strong dominance issues. They really need compliance, and to feel in charge, IMHO.
Many men almost have it in them to be attracted to teenagers at some time. Why? Sociobiology. They want to get to her before other guys do, so he could guarantee any child born is his. It's not a moral impulse, and everyone has a choice on how they act on it.
Even so, I have to tell you that cheerleader or high school girl fantasies sometimes aren't quite what you think. I've often wanted to role play and re-enacting specific incidents that took place when I was that age-- just to "do it right" and try to gain some closure. It's not a matter of currently being attracted to teenagers.
And there's nothing wrong with a woman dressing up like a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, is there?
Good points. Clearly this is NOT a simple topic... I too have met women who married too young. Tragically, it changes them... and mostly not for the better.
All people (male and female) tend to mature emotionally and intellectually AFTER the teen years.. for some that means in the mid-20s and for others the mid-30s... So marrying someone who is 15 (heck - even 18) is just asking for problems.... That person will change (both physically and emotionally).
Your comments about attraction to teenagers... I agree - but another reason is that teenagers tend to be very healthy... with "young eggs" - Remember the older that a woman is, the probability of a child with chromosomal abnomalities goes up... so some primative part of your brain goes... "healthy baby factory" when it sees the likes of an underage Traci Lords... and yea, we were all fooled by her.
...but it's a free country, so here's my opinion. First, you are absolutely 100% correct. This is a hypocritical practice. Either laws have meaning or they don't. If 18 is the legal age of consent, then it should be applied uniformly across the board. Whether or not the parties are married should make no difference whatsoever.
BUT... Zinaval makes a very valid point about biological reasons for why men are often attracted to teenage girls. As I have said before, you can't reform biology. It's like trying to argue with a brick wall. I personally find it difficult to tell the mature 15-year-old girls from the 18-year-old girls. Luckily for me, I've always been attracted to older women.
I think perhaps you ladies should reexamine your standards of beauty that you all strive for. Your beauty-routines are all geared around youth, and trying to look younger than you really are. For example, the majority of women in this country have naturally dark hair, but most women seem to dye their hair a lighter-than-natural shade. Why? Because light-colored hair connotes youth. When a woman gives birth the first time, her hair often darkens slightly.
But that's only one example: consider push-up bras, eyebrow tweezing, eyelash curling, blush, mascara, lipstick, moisturizing creams, anti-wrinkle treatments, shaving your legs, etc. All of these things, while not necessarily bad, demonstrate a tendency towards neoteny, and an obsession with youth. So, if women are so revulsed by the concept of men being attracted to teen girls, they should try making themselves appear older instead of younger. Somehow, I think the results will not be ideal. You can't fight biology.
Yeah, but to be fair, if the only game in town is a rigged one [look young or be alone], you can't really condemn women for playing it while being angry at having no choice but to play. The non-existence of another gmae, not rigged, dictates this behavior on the part of women, in the aggregate. Analogy; I'll pay a blackmailer or an extortionist because the consequences for me are too grim not to do so, but every cent gotten out of me is begrudged and totally unwilling, and an occassion for despair and hatred with every dollar i fork over to my tormentor.
There's also a question whether standars of beauty which women strive for are subject to change by the actions of women exclusively. You know, the gold old "socially-constructed" conceptions of feminine beauty.
You make a very interesting line of argument.
I agree with your argument, to a point. Men and women are not totally in control of their sexual urges. It's not as though men are secretly "pulling the strings" to get women to look like jail-bait Lolitas (your "blackmail" scenario). We like what we like because our genes and circumstances of birth dictate it. No one is in charge here. Women act in a certain way in order to attract men, and men act in a certain way in order to attract women. So we are both "blackmailing" each other. We can consciously believe that this is somehow "wrong," but we cannot change biological imperatives. We can choose to take ourselves out of the mating game, but that only means that other people will "win the game" and get to pass on their genes -- probably because they know how to play the game better than we do. For women, the winners of this game are those who look young and fertile. For men, the winners appear to be hard-working, strong, and prosperous.
Of course, life is so much more complicated than this. Take me, for instance. If given the choice between a beautiful 20-year-old woman and an equally beautiful 40-year-old woman, I'd probably choose the latter. I also prefer brunettes to blondes. And I like a woman with "meat on her bones." But I don't run the world. Majority rules in this case, because biology is a numbers game. For the individual, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But on a global scale, people tend to behold beauty by consensus -- when two-thirds of American, Australian, Canadian and European men agree that blonde is their preferred hair color for women, what difference does it make that I prefer brunettes? But now I'm really rambling off topic.
and asked folks what was the age at which a man appeared his best and what was the age at which a woman appeared her best... when we examined the data, no matter which ages they picked there was a 5-7 or so gap between the woman's age and the man's age with the man being about 5 years older than the woman.
All this goes to show is that men prefer women a tad younger than themselves. I too, seem to be attracted to women who are older - just not as old as I am.
I am convinced that we are wired this way as humans. Men are wired to spread their genetics to a young viable woman. And to be frank, biologically 15 is young and viable... regardless of what our current societal mores are. For the record, I prefer women my age, but I can understand the raw animalistic drive of men. You can't change a zillion years of biological evolution. Hell, TER is testament to that.
Women on the other hand, being the child bearers tend to be drawn to stable, resourceful, and therefore generally older men (mind you 40+ something women where all over me when I was in my 20's). There are always exceptions, but this is the way we are wired.
These things are well documented and studied.
Something to chew on: if you avoid the "girlie clothing", do you also avoid makeup? In the end, the purpose is makeup is to, surprise surprise, make women look young and viable. At least more so. There is little difference between a school-girl outfit and lipstick - they represent the same thing. This is also well studied and understood.
I myself am not a fan of girlie clothes (well, occassionally it's "cute") nor do I like make-up. I want to be with a woman, not a girl (plus it tastes like shit). All that being said, I certainly understand the draw.
My 2-cents.
How refreshing it is to read such intelligent and articulate responses on this board!
I like the scientific discussion. But it's also psychological (just consult freud and laquan). Men are drawn to younger healthy egg bearing girls because the psycological need to carry on the "name," the self.
I personally am a young provider, but my website says that I'm a few years older. What kind of woman lies about being OLDER?
Yes, women desire to look younger by means of makeup and cosmetic surgery to attract men; however, no woman wants to look like a child to have sex with men. Biologically, women are maternal creatures. Our inherent power is to care for, comfort, and protect our young.
Women would never, unless by mental disease, use the lure of a child to have sex with a man. We do want to indulge our lover's sexual fantasies, but when it comes down to it, our internal strength is to protect the young...especially young girls.