Question for clients and providers.
Guys how far in advance do you expect a provider to share her EXACT address for Incall/hotel name?
Ladies how far in advance do you share your approximate incall address?
I am not speaking of general or closeby locations
Recently while touring a guy who is a lifetime member on P411 (means he has been around for a very long time)
Requests an appt and time/day
I have no issue with a general close landmark but not hotel name a day in advance. I tell him NO
He decides since I cannot trust him to give my location out he is going to cancel. Told him I give that info 90min-2hr in advance. Claimed he needed that info far in advance so he could plan his less than 90min drive. Second guy books an appointment and wants my exact address including hotel name 4 days prior to appt!
I tell him no need for that info days in advance. When I sent confirmation of appt email the day prior to appt all I got was crickets. Speaking with other providers this seems to be happening way more often.No provider I know shares that info that far in advance.
Some people don't realize how creepy that can come off. Personally, I do outcall most often and I send the hotel deets several days in advance but for incall, I like a close landmark, like you said, as that is sufficient.
I do factor in a lot of extra time for travel so I am on time as going into any major cities' downtown can be very time consuming. I like to get to the hotel area one hour in advance so I have leeway if there is extra traffic/construction but I do not sit and wait in the girl's hotel lobby. I will go to a coffee shop or maybe a different hotel lobby to wait.
Sorry you are experiencing this as I am sure it is quite unnerving.
Completely agree. The general area/neighborhood is all anyone needs to know more than 2 hours in advance of the meeting. Extremely creepy to expect the exact location in advance.
It is creepy. Especially if a client mentions during the appt how he watched as I checked-in to hotel.
I have given a closeby address to my hotel and had a few complain about that despite being less than 10min from my actual hotel. Even got a bad review over this.
He watched you check in??? Good heavens. That is not JUST creepy but stalking as well. It's so sad what some of you ladies have to put up with. Cant people just stay in their lane and act like gentlemen?
Okay, watching you check in is creepy. Telling you about it seems like a bit of a creeper power play mind fuck thing. Like he wanted you to know because he wanted to creep you out or something. I dunno. I’m sorry there are creeps out there.
May I ask how long before the appointment you provided the real location ten minutes away from the address you’d given previously? If I was given a nav point and then twenty minutes before the appointment I found out it was off by ten minutes, I’d be pretty annoyed myself.
I hate being late, so I always give myself more time than I think I actually need for travel. Especially if I’m headed to a spot I’ve never been before. Twenty minutes before an appointment, it’s entirely possible that I’m sitting in some discreet spot five minutes away from the incall. Murphy’s Law dictates that your ten minutes and my five will be in the same direction. If I suddenly learned that the target was 15 minutes away, yeah I’d be upset too. Because now I’m stressing about being late.
HOWEVER, if I found out the real location an hour or two before the appointment, that should be fine. I don’t see the problem.
Watching you check-in is creepy. I'm sure you'll handle things differently in the future and other hostesses might take note. Come up with some polite excuse: "My plane was late so I'm a little behind schedule ... let me contact you with location info AFTER I check-in." or "Running late ... I don't want to waste your time if the hotel didn't hold my reservation. Let me contact you AFTER I am confirmed and check-in." "In the meantime, Xth Ave. x Yth St. [or other landmark] is close by."
It is creepy. Especially if a client mentions during the appt how he watched as I checked-in to hotel.
I have given a closeby address to my hotel and had a few complain about that despite being less than 10min from my actual hotel. Even got a bad review over this.
I don’t mind sharing the exact hotel the day before because the gentleman is supplying funds for the hotel of his choice for our meeting. I am not booking any other dates when I get a hotel for a specific person. I don’t tour. I am a low volume provider who does not have multiple bookings in one day. If I was I wouldn’t share my exact location until closer to date & time for safety. I let the gent pick the hotel & pay for the meeting venue, so it’s different than the majority.
"let" the gent pay for the hotel on top of the $800 price of admission for an hour. It's a good thing your screening does not include an I.Q. test. Lol
When I am touring when I check into my hotel I send out a confirmation email and then at that time give everyone the address and directions. I am thinking maybe they are asking about the exact hotel to make sure it is a nicer place? Or last time I toured I had a gent ask me if I was staying at xyz hotel as his wife's friend ran the front desk so he could avoid her. Beyond that I am not really sure why they would need to know ahead of time. If they gave a specific reason I suppose I would be OK telling them. I guess guys would have to chime in as to why they would want to know in advance.
Even if the appts are 24hr or days away you give your hotel address as soon as you check-in to hotel?
Just wanted to make sure I understand what you are saying?
Majority of reasons I get is they want to plan drive time which I can understand. However when I used to give out exact address more than 2hrs in advance I have had guys show up early like an 1hr or more. It is not unheard of for some guy who does not know discretion to be sitting in the lobby.Or sit in his car in hotel garage/lot
Had one client show up 5hrs early and sit in his truck in hotel lot!! He turned out to be very unstable and dangerous.
Thank you
I see a well-known lady whenever she's in town - she's a touring machine and is always on the road. Once I confirm the date and time she let's me know the hotel as soon as she books it. Maybe that's because I've seen her a bunch of times and she trusts me, but I'm pretty sure she did that the first time we met as well, so I'm pretty sure that's her standard procedure.
Every provider and client has their own comfort level with such things. As long as I have enough information to get to the general area and be assured of being on-time I have no problem with whatever a lady wants to do in that regard.
5 hours early??? No, I have never had that happen ever. Maybe we need to do a reminder post as to how to see a touring gal?? LOL
I have been "touring" for like 6 or 7 years now (which equates to 4 or 5 trips a year for me).
It has just always worked out easiest for me to just take care of all of the confirmations when I check in and then give the address and directions at that time. I leave an hour in between my appointments to shower and eat and such so if someone shows up 5 min early not a huge deal on my end.
Maybe some yahoos show up early and sit in the parking lot, I honestly don't know. Would be very weird indeed. How do you know they are doing that? Do they just tell you or do you ask them? Never actually crossed my mind.
The ones who do this notified me they are at location early and will just sit in car and wait.
I advised perhaps a nearby coffee shop. Some apologized and went and got a drink or coffee depending on the time of the day.
I don't need the exact location but I do need a close general location of where your incall is at.
If is too far or in a neighborhood that I don't desire I may need to cancel.
If a provider is unwilling to do that, I will simply state that if the location is not to my liking I will cancel the appointment and not pay any cancellation fees.
I don’t expect it until the day of. That said, it is helpful to know the general area sooner. Since I am in LA, and LA has a wide range, lots of traffic, and parking can range from easy to hard, it’s helpful to know general area for planning purposes. My commute has ranged from 10 minutes to an hour, so it’s a big difference. In fact, depending on my schedule I might not be able to do it if it’s an hour. And, I don’t like wasting either of our times.
Since I live in a city that does not have quality Providers, I usually drive to Jacksonville, Tampa or Orlando for my fun. I don't need an address as far ahead as you say the Mongers requested. I want it before I start my 2 or 2 1/2 hour drive which is what most Providers do. I've had a few that haven't provided that information in a timely manner, so I no longer leave until I do have the address as I have been burned a couple of times.
And in reference to your line: "No provider I know shares that info that far in advance." I usually make my dates several days or a week or two in advance. After communicating back and forth, I've had several Providers feel comfortable with giving me their address. I never request it but do ask in advance for a nearby landmark, so I am able to plan my trip accordingly.
I fully understand your position as your safety is paramount and I don't agree with those gentlemen 's actions but of course that is their prerogative.
Many ladies I've seen provide the exact location the day or evening before the appointment.
It's probably just as common for me to be told the morning of, for instance 2 hours prior for a 10am appointment.
I plan on about an hour's travel time so that I'm not late. Area traffic can be tough. I hate being late and never have been.
I am more than happy to get a general area or a nearby landmark so I can have an idea of travel time. I think that's perfectly reasonable especially if a lady is hosting in her private residence.
Started this hobby years ago when booked had a general area. Would confirm the day before on my end and would get a location to call from that was five min or less from final destination. Called there on arrival and given exact location.
Always considered this or a minor deviation standard. In most cases was seeing providers at stationary incalls vs. a hotel.
If we are booking in advance, I want to know if you're in a sketchy part of town. I'm not interested in getting mugged. There are some areas I flat will not go to. Others, only daytime and certain neighborhoods.
If you are close to a sketch part I'm going to ask more questions. I'll be very clear where I'm not willing to go. If that is a deal killer I'll move on.
I'm hyper-vigilant with my safety.
Upon booking, I iterate the general area of my locale,
which is also indicated upon my personal website.
I subsequently communicate that there'll be three
confirmation emails/texts;
one the night prior, the morning of, then the final two
hours prior, at which time the exact address is proffered,
with general entry instructions to my gated locale.
My entry code isn't proffered until the Client approaches
the gate.
(said "code" then gets scrambled daily, so no two
persons ever use the same code)
If I were hosting in a Hotel, I would proceed with equal
caution, never giving out a room number until the Client
is actually in the Hotel proceeding to the elevator.
I don't go to incalls,but if I would , all I need to know in advance is the city/ town. No need for minute details that far ahead. The only exception would be if I have had an issue with a particular hotel in that area and want to know that's not the one in question.
I normally book early like 3 to 7 days in advance. At the time of booking and if I am traveling I ask for a general area or landmark at the time. If I don't have a solid address by noon the day before of the meet I start looking for options, just in case. Important to remember is no one is looking for a specific room # or apartment #. Giving out the address normally covers many rooms or many apartments. I don't understand the risk of giving out the name and address of a hotel or apartment complex.
When I am meeting a client(s), then I do give the Hotel/Motel info. to him/her (And yes I do both Females & Males). I usually keep an eye on them when he/her approach the room. If I suspect that I am in danger in anyway or if I suspect that he/she is a cop then I won't answer the door.
I'm with the majority here. An approximate or nearby landmark or intersection let's me plan ahead. I don't need the final, exact, address until a short while before. But "short" depends ...
.
"Approximate" surely works in urban settings where there may be a cluster of hotels withing a 2 minute walk of each other. In more suburban situations, hotels might be a short drive up or down the highway. HOWEVER, some guys might plan to drive and park in location X (shopping plaza; maybe even park at their arrival airport) and Uber or taxi to the final hotel. (They might be paranoid about having their car seized if there is an LE interruption of activities and property seizure is allowed in that jurisdiction.) When the landmarks and actual destination are far apart, extra time to get to the exact location might be needed. It is still manageable. "If you plan to park at the Big Parking Lot, I will be less than a 5 minute Uber away from there. I will tell you ~90 minutes in advance." (Adjust the "90 minutes" accordingly. E.g., 90 minutes is just in case: ~1:45 call or text exact address to the 3:00 guest; 1:50 to 2:50 meet with your 2-3 guest; at 2:55 or so, text the 3:00 guest waiting in the lobby the room number.)
.
Some prior discussions:
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/re-cliff-notes-summary-423714
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/approximate-reply-962451
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/some-other-possibilities-995034
and others.
Question for clients and providers.
Guys how far in advance do you expect a provider to share her EXACT address for Incall/hotel name?
Ladies how far in advance do you share your approximate incall address?
I am not speaking of general or closeby locations
Recently while touring a guy who is a lifetime member on P411 (means he has been around for a very long time)
Requests an appt and time/day
An hour later after his request but 24 hours before our date he wants my EXACT hotel name.
I have no issue with a general close landmark but not hotel name a day in advance. I tell him NO
He decides since I cannot trust him to give my location out he is going to cancel. Told him I give that info 90min-2hr in advance. Claimed he needed that info far in advance so he could plan his less than 90min drive.
Second guy books an appointment and wants my exact address including hotel name 4 days prior to appt!
I tell him no need for that info days in advance. When I sent confirmation of appt email the day prior to appt all I got was crickets.
Speaking with other providers this seems to be happening way more often.No provider I know shares that info that far in advance.
-- Modified on 4/16/2024 3:33:34 AM
so that I can find it and have time to get there.
Short of that, the approximate location will do, but if I only get that when I check in with her a few minutes before our date time, depending on circumstances, I might not be able to find parking and get there in time.
Could you explain the down side to you if he does know your hotel the day before?
The "downside" of knowledge of the Hotel name too
far in-advance, is that it could possibly become a
set-up for a "sting", or other unsavory goings-on.
Even though I thoroughly verify references, I've had
upstanding individuals display weird behavior
of all sorts, however, never procuring a "sting".
I had one Gent wait in the Hotel bar, and imbibed
one too many Martinis.
I texted him the room number upon his appointment
time and he proceeds to call me and loudly speak
asking me what I'm wearing and if I'm ready to
"cum", and "what is the room number again?"
And he repeats it loudly back to me!
Thankfully, the bar was busy, so nobody really heard
I assume.
Another man proceeded to knock on the wrong Hotel
door, then called me right there, instead of stepping
away to call, thus creating a ruckus outside.
A woman was fearful on the other side of said door
and called Security.
So the man had to explain that he'd been on a phone
call when getting off the elevator which caused his
confusion.
Thankfully, he proceeded alone to the elevator to come
to my room and the Security stayed back dealing with
the complaint by the woman.
Normally, Security will escort the "0ffender" to their destination.
I’m sorry all that happened to you. It sounds extremely nerve racking! I wish you didn’t have to put up with stuff like that.
I don’t claim to know the ins and outs of how police run their stings. I do think, though, that if the prospective client to whom you are speaking is LE; or if LE is so interested in either of you that they “intercept” your communications, you’re already way up a very unsanitary tributary sans proper propulsion. I wouldn’t think they need 24 hours notice regarding which hotel you’re in to get setup to come arrest either or both of you.
As far as the things that happened to you, again I’ve no doubt that was quite stressful and I empathize. It sounds like cases of idiot clients just being idiots, though. You can’t fix stupid. None of it seems to be related to knowing the hotel name more than a couple of hours before “go” time, nor could have been avoided by withholding the name until said time.
@Lt_FrankDrebin,
I agree with you.
Thank you for your kindest input.
I always give my provider phone # and incall location 24 hrs in advance. I just don't give the room number until they park. 2 hours is wild. i'd be pissed if a client didn't give me an outcall location till 1-2 hrs beforehand. To each their own though I guess. Just curious though, what on earth is anyone gonna do with just a hotel name.. they have no clue what room you are in. Why does it matter. If you screen welll, it definitely shouldn't matter.
-- Modified on 4/16/2024 10:42:53 AM
I agree, when I do outcall which is most of the time, I tell the lady 48-72 hours before meeting the name and location of the hotel but then I have no fear the lady in question is going to stalk my lobby as Jaydalee has experienced.
I hope nothing like this happens to you but if it does, you may very well change your policy on it. And while screening can certainly cut down on the number of incidents, it is by no means a panacea for all evils so this is why other protocols are put in place in addition to screening. Just my 2 cents. Thanks for yours Lulu!
and I screen with RWI so....
I am outcall only while I am in my homebase Vegas where there are tons of hotels with hundreds of rooms and casino.
All my clients give me their loation days in advance but there are hundreds of people going in and out of the hotel and lobby is always crowded. That is a HUGE difference than when I am touring and I am incall only the Doubletree hilton in say for instance Albany or another state where there is NOT alot of people in a lobby. When a lobby is empty or very few people front desk is paying attention if the client is not good at acting like he belongs there. Some clients call for room# in the lobby that is discreet?
I stay at 3.5-5star hotels so I am not in unsavory hotels,areas,or motels
If hotel is not big or not too much business people are going to notice if a person is sitting in lobby with no luggage or sitting in his car in the lot.
If all your clients know how to be discreet and you NEVER had an issue with a screened guy great for you.
However that is not the case for many of us providers thanks for your input.
Hello,
@Lululollipop
Perhaps I wasn't very clear with regards to the "two hour notice",
of my location.
I indicate to my Client a landmark which is highly visible for them
to guide their GPS to the location upon verifying their references.
It's just down the street, thus a two-hour advance notice of my
locale is very appropriate for their prompt arrival.
However, regardless of thorough screening, people can behave
out-of-character for whatever reason, be it inebriation, stress, or
deep-depression.
I've unfortunately seen it all.
Whilst early in my career dealing with wealthy clientele whom were
in their twenties, early-thirties, whereupon the heady combination of
ego power-trips and misusing substances enabled them to act less than
gentlemen.
I don’t think I’ve ever been given the hotel name in advance. If I need to plan my travel, then all I need is a general location. Anything more than that is unnecessary.
I do understand though that some people might not be comfortable without everything being completely transparent, but that’s what reviews and sites like this are for.
Since I am about 2 hours away from a major city where people tour or where good companions are.
I always ask for about 2-3 hours in advance so I can plan for traffic.
Now many times I ask for the "city" they will be in or if it is near a land mark....ie: Airport, downtown, Mall, etc. Then that way I have a general idea and can base if 2 hours is enough time or not.
No way a day should be asked unless it is a FMTY type situation or if the provider and client have seen each other multiple times and there is TRUST. ONLY IF THERE IS TRUST.
Anyways... that is my .02 cent as a client. Just because of my situation.
I have had providers not get back to me in the 2/3 hours time frame I ask for. So I leave to get in the general direction trusting they will let me know on the drive. ONLY to have providers cancel on me. Which means I have taken 4 hours out of my day. Hence communication is KEY.
I like to confirm the city when I book just to make sure what I see in reviews and ads is accurate. When I reconfirm the morning of appointment or night before I ask for address so I can leave sufficient time to arrive a little early. If provider only give close coordinates until shortly before appointment that’s ok too!
NEVER too soon. Sadly i dont think other men realize there are men who just save our addresses in a weird way so for our safety we do what is best babe
While general location (within 10 minutes drive) is ok for the day before, my primary concern is discreet parking. I also don't want to be on pins and needles waiting for a location and final confirmation within a 1/2 hour of my commute.
That said, most providers that I've met at hotels give the final information the night before or early the next morning, but 24 hours? No. No need for that. Ever.
I did have a regular touring provider who shared several days in advance that she was staying at another provider's incall apartment. I knew this girl as well, so didn't need any more details. Evening of the appointment, I show up, ring the buzzer and get nothing. Call her only to find she decided to switch location and forgot to tell me. Good thing it wasn't too far.