so in that sense, it certainly does define me.

And yet it is secret from many people I know, including most of my family and co-workers with whom I am fairly close.

This causes me so concern, yet it all seems to work out somehow, so I'm not going to do anything to change that.

I'm not referencing "gender" or "sex"  

I'm asking if participating in the sex you share with others makes you - you?

WTF are you talking about? Of all the dumbass posts you have cluttered the boardwith, this one is near the top

My hobby defines me!

If you opened this, please respond with a short essay on what this statement means to you.

Good luck!

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The secrecy bothers me, too. I was writing somebody about it once and I was being melodramatic and called it being “shrouded” (good thing I was writing, too, because if I’d said that in person, she’d have laughed her ass off), but it does feel like something’s covering you.

I mean, at the most trivial, I’ve got a buddy I swap sex stories with but I have to leave my best material on the cutting room floor. It's tragic.

Anyway, I think for people who are in touch with their sexuality, their sexuality is an extension of their personality, even if it seems contradictory to who they are. A selfish asshole can still be a generous lover – if they can use their skill and generosity to control the other. Good sex can make idiots of smart people. And some of the most toxic people are great in bed.

I hope I understood the question right. I think I’m saying our sexuality flows from who we are. Yeah

That's an odd question.
I wonder why you would ask such a thing?

If you are asking if the hobby has changed my sex life? The answer is yes. Scary yes...
In a good wa

also, I like to think it's rather less passive than "participating in the sex I share with others."  Usually, it's just fucking.

That said, the depraved nonsense I think about when masturbating is undoubtedly worse for me than any actual acts I've "shared with others."  No one should do that to Princess Leia

The fact that he still gets so many people to answer his dumbass posts with serious answers instead of the blanket response of TSTTT that he so richly deserves.

Why do you people continue to feed this troll?

I'm guessing since you're so confused most of the time you are probably a hermaphrodite.


-- Modified on 11/19/2014 8:25:31 AM

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He feels like men when around men.. He feels like women when around women.. As a result, no one wants him around !!

You seem to live your life through them. As usual you are TSTTT

We tend to be complex creatures with multiple impulses and desires,  conflicting needs and wants, and changing perspectives and priorities.  I think you can tell quite a bit about a person based on how they approach sex. But that ain't all there is to tell.

Does sex define you?... is another way of looking at this question.

I would say sex can define a person, how ever sex doesn't necessarily make a person who they are.

 
You might ask what does that mean?... and I would say IDK, followed by you are still you while you are not having sex.

Nope, not a hermaphrodite I don't have third hole. The one in my head doesn't count.

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IDK why the proprietor of the restaurant wastes their money on them.

I understand the Too Stupid To part of TSTTT but what is the last 2 TT? LOL

you are more concerned with how others perceive you, and how you perceive yourself. Words and actions are observable attributes that others interpret and use to "define" you. They may or may not be accurate, or may ascribe motives that do not exist.  

From an internal standpoint, I would say that yes - so long as one's behaviors are aligned with their personal beliefs, values, mores, etc... then they are a part of how you define yourself.

 
I was thinking more like using sex as a process of self-evaluation...

I was going to ask this question in a dumb fashion - Does sex make you cool?

 
Do you think sex makes you a cool person in your own eyes? I would say no, because there are many other factors involved when it comes to being cool, as if being cool really matters.(no one over 30 yo can be cool anyway)  

However sex can make/define how a person views him/herself, whether that is a positive or negative view would depend on who the person is - you can only be you/yourself  and everyone else is them/theirself

Not sure if this will even be seen since it is bumped way down, but this is a subject near and dear to my heart.  I believe that to live fully and authentically, we must be able to embrace all of who we are, including our sexuality.  I believe that when we deny, stifle, or compromise our interests, we deny fully knowing ourselves.  I believe that when we are given the opportunity to explore our deepest secrets and most vulnerable places (usually our sexuality) in safe spaces, met with non-judgement, it has the ability to empower us in ways that nothing else can.  Because of THAT, our sexuality, IMO, holds much power in influencing our lives (and perhaps our identity), but I caution against saying it "defines" us.  Sexuality is fluid, and changes over time.  If one gets caught up on rigid definitions, what happens when things shift?  It's like saying one's job defines them, then one day their company closes or their job becomes obsolete.  Our vocation is a part of who we are, but it should not define us fully if we don't want to eventually deal with an identity crisis when you quit/get fired/retire.  Hopefully that makes sense...it was a great question!

xoM