: Would you want your daughter to be an escort? (long) : Discussion in TER General Board, posted by BeverlyFisher

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Would you want your daughter to be an escort? (long)

BeverlyFisher See my TER Reviews 4624 reads

posted 17 years ago

Someone recently posted on the local Denver discussion board, asking what you would do if you found out your daughter was an escort. It reminded me that I have heard variations on this question before, the most common being "Would you want your daughter to be an escort?" A friend suggested that I should post this here on TER as well, as it might be a good topic for discussion.

Here is my reply to his post:

This is one of those questions that usually come from conservative, anti-hobby people, trying to make ASPs and hobbyists see the error of their ways, or to point out some sort of hypocrisy. I realize that was NOT the intent of the original poster, who seemed genuinely curious. But this is a question that, due to the usual confrontative/hostile way in which I usually hear it, I have given much thought.

I think that being an escort is one of the most difficult jobs a woman can do, for a variety of reasons. It's not as easy as placing an ad, taking the money, and having some fun in bed. The media create this stereotype that is, interestingly, paradoxical... on the one hand, they tell us that escorting is glamorous and exciting, and on the other, it is soul-destroying, and that once a woman goes down this road, she is forever tainted, damned. And in some small way, parts of the stereotypes are true.

To be an escort, you must fly in the face of convention, of society, or the cultural norms and customs to which you were born. You must find a way to feel good about yourself, even though society -- and everything you were taught to believe that lives inside you -- tells you that you are wrong for what you are doing. Women are raised in this culture with very strict notions about what is acceptable, sexually, and what is not. To rebel against those notions is one thing; to step completely beyond them, and make a living doing it, is quite another.

This job touches you, forever. You can never truly walk away from it. Even when you retire, you are faced with scary choices... suppose you meet a man who wants to marry you. Do you tell him about your past? Will he accept you anyhow? Or, if you keep it a secret, do you live in fear that somehow he'll find out? Or, if he does find out, will he still love you? What about if you get a straight job, and one day, a customer walks in who used to be one of your clients. What then?

To do this job, and do it well, you must be part sex goddess, part therapist, part businesswoman, part salesperson, part psychic. You must be incredibly courageous, and extremely paranoid. You live in fear all the time. Oh, you seem happy and confident, relaxed and playful, but the fear is a tiny black river, an undercurrent beneath everything you do. You are afraid of LE. You are afraid of men who will rob you, stalk you, hurt you, beat you, rape you, kill you. Most serial killers "practice" on prostitutes before they turn their attentions to "regular" women. When you are an outlaw, you live and work outside of the law... and so you don't have the protection of the law.

The hardest part of this job is living in a society that not only does not understand you, but condemns you, every single day. You are the ultimate pariah; you are lower on the social ladder than drug dealers. Yet, inside yourself, you know that you are a good, kind, loving person. The conflict between your inner self and the outer world can be very painful. Even some of your clients, who you would expect to be more forgiving or understanding, carry stereotypes about you, and judge you on some level.

In a way, you almost feel like someone in a movie, where you know the truth, you know this big secret, and no one else sees it, or believes you.

For some women, all of this is too much, and they use drugs and alcohol to help them cope with the reality of the Life. Invariably, their lives spiral out of control. Or, some women become hard and cold, aging years before their time, their eyes ancient, their souls bitter. The Life can be a wonderful thing, but it can also destroy you.

The women who do this work, and do it well, are STRONG. They are amazing. They are resourceful. They are talented in hundreds of ways. They have a powerful inner flame that they keep burning, when the world would put it out. I have tremendous respect and admiration for the ladies I've met over the years, who share the best parts of themselves with men, and maintain their personal inner lives with dignity.

Would I want my daughter to do this work?

I hope that she would not, in the same way that I hope she won't go fight in Iraq, or work the high steel, or crab fish on the open sea in Alaska, or be a smoke jumper, fighting out-of-control wildfires, or even a policeman.

I hope that she would not, not because I think there is shame in this work, but because it is so difficult, and so dangerous, that I would be afraid for her. Not just her physical being, but her mental and emotional being, too.

But if she made that choice, then I would hope that she be strong. Very strong.

xxxooo
Beverly ;-*

Related Link: http://www.beverlyfisher.com

nutandbolt17 years ago1198 reads

Re: Would you want your daughter to be an escort? (long)

Would I want my daughter to be an escort? NO! Would I have a choice? Not if she is an adult. So if she decided to become one and I found out the only thing I could do is support her and talk to her about her safety and health. I'm divorced and my daughter knows I visit escorts and she thinks it is ok.