A) Client - you're in provider/client status and have agreed to a specific amount per so many sessions.
B) Companion - you're in provider/client status and have agreed to a specific amount per so many sessions with a few extra perks like dinner occassionally.
C) Girlfriend - you're past the provider/client status and have agree on a monthly allowance with all the extra added perks like dinner, entertainment, social outings & gifts.
D) SO - she becomes a part of your life in a big way, you've either added her to your payroll, moved her in or have taken over a few of her major expense such as mortage/rent/car note/credit cards, etc. She received all the perks as is well taken care of.
E) None of the above.
I'm trying to figure out what point the lines are crossed from an escort's perspective and to point out that there's always some level of giving even when the lines are crossed.
D and it was my choice.
If you already have an SO, then "B" is as far as you can take it and be most comfortable... To get to that point there has to mutual respect, trust etc... common sense stuff. I meet very nice providers who usually want more if we venture much past the B line and who could blame them?
As a provider with an SO, I have to agree with you. For myself, it isn't possible to be a BIG part of a client's life with all the percs AND get past B.....maybe a weekend trip, possibly longer. Open communication about where I stand, as well as he does on limits of the relationship, which is a business/friendship, is soooooooo important. I've stopped seeing clients when they became emotionally involved at a level in which I've felt was beyond this. Unless it's talked about ahead of time, of course, and is a mutual agreement. It's only fair to all (three) parties involved.
As I read the thread for the first time, going through A,B,C,D and E, I was thinking to myself "The SO level sounds like when I was married!" No thank you.
I think I have made every mistake possible when it comes to SOs, relationships etc... I suspect that you know what I mean as anyone with the sense to know that you can have some combination of sex, money, and a committed relationship, but all three are rare, hence the hobby. Thank you ladies for all you do.
Those aren't the criterion for a regular or an ATF, those are the criterion for a wife, SO or someother committed relationship, which is not what this hobby is all about.
First and most important for me is attitude. I can overlook a lot but for me this one is a dealbreaker. Doesn't matter what skills the SP has if she hasn't got heart she hasn't got me either.
Second, intelligence. The SP must have a triple-digit IQ and enough education to be able to carry her half of a conversation. This is also a dealbreaker for me.
Next, there needs to be some physical attraction. Since #1 and #2 are much more important to me, there's a heck of a lot of leeway in this area.
After that, boundaries. Her boundaries and mine need to kinda sorta line up.
Last, skills. Actually this is kind of taken care of with the attitude thing. I'm not generally impressed by tricks unless they have some practical application. Novelties are nice, but for me skin against skin is the only way to go.
I look to connect on a level a little bit deeper than just a physical encounter, but nothing that should cross the average SP's boundaries. For me what happens on the break is as important as what happens between breaks - and there needs to be a solid intellectual and not-quite-as-solid emotional connection. I'm perfectly capable of walking away at the end of the appointment, but I need a hell of a lot more than physical attraction and a decent set of skills.
Even though IAATM there has to be a lot more happining than looks and sexual prowess to become a regular Fav' or ATF.
Cm.
definable qualities, all of which are important, but in the final analysis there is one thing they all have in common....I can't get them off my mind (in a good way!) for days after our interlude! Whatever it took to make that happen, that's what made them a regular. Looking forward to the next visit, as opposed to "that was nice, but on to the next one".
Are you saying there should always be money exchanged for sex in this hobby? If there's someone I like and it's my choice "not" to accept money from him for our time together, am I being taken advantage of?
Also, will he continue having sex with me and enjoying my company if he doesn't feel the same way? I really like him but I don't want to get hurt. At some point we should discuss where we are headed, right?
After reading all your posting, I feel i'm being used.
OK, I'll take a stab at this, but i'm having a hard time this morning saying what i mean, so if it doesn't make sense let me know.
I guess first, all the situations you listed originally involved the trading of money for companionship. So even if you had to answer the question you posed yourself by the guidelines of the original post you would be forced to answer with "E".
Second. It's always your choice to accept/not accept money for your time. Nobody will fault you for the choice you make(or at least they shouldn't).
Third. Yes, you may be taken advantage of. Then again, you may not.
Forth. Yes, he would probably still have sex with you and enjoy your company even if he doesn't feel the same way toward you. This is where woman's intuition comes in.
I still agree with dd, this is not the place to be looking for love. Well, at least not on the mens side of the fence. But also i realize that at times love/ emotional ties do come into play. It's just a fact of life that in an encounter as intimate at it's core level as the one we seek here is it would happen.
That doesn't mean it can't happen. Nothing is impossible. If there's a man out there that you have feelings for, talk to him about it. In most cases, you ladies are alot better at reading us men than we are at reading you, so you may have to take the lead alittle if you want to know what his true feelings are. But also keep in mind that all your optons listed save one (E) involved money at some level or another and basically equated to a "kept woman" situation. There's a huge difference between having a sugar daddy hangin around and having a SO who just happens to someone you met as a client. Which one are you looking for from this man?
If you have feelings toward someone and want to/hope to let him in and make him a larger part of your life then money has to be put to the side if you're looking for the latter.
As with most aspects of this hobby and all related issues, it can be a precarious line to try and walk at times. If you're going to delve into a deeper level of commitment with anyone communication and honesty is the key. If you can get everything out in the open and discuss it you've got a chance. Otherwise crossing the lines is really just blurring them and nobody knows what the other persons expectations/wants/needs and hopes really are.
-- Modified on 7/29/2004 1:09:01 PM
BINGO. You better get all cards on the table and have a frank, thorough discussion about all aspects, or this could get ugly for you both, IMO. Don't make assumptions, and figure things are implied, etc, for both of you.
You've opened up my eyes to a lot of things and given me so much to think about on deeper levels. I really appreciate you're taking time to respond to my thoughts, you're a true sweetheart and such a caring man!
-- Modified on 7/30/2004 6:44:58 AM
E ...none of the above
The level of excellence in the overall experience is what makes me a regular. I can tell if the woman truly enjoys my company and will feel more comfortable seeing her more often if she does. Getting a break on price or receiving perks is secondary to me, I want the best experience on a consistent basis. Chemistry is everything I suppose
By tangible, I mean getting past the attitude that she's only going to give me every minute I pay for -- and not a minute less. It doesn't have to be a break on price, per se. It's more like not hassling me to pay for an extra 15 minutes after the 4th or 5th session in a month. That's telling me you don't want my business, you want an ATM machine.
To consider it anything else would be deluding myself. IMO, a companion, girlfriend or SO is someone I show up for (and vice versa) in ways that make money for sex unnecessary.
Recently, after a few years of minor dabbling, I stumbled across someone who is my ATF. She's gotten pretty personal with me, called when she needed help with things, and even indicated we could "hang out OR do a session." When I called her on it, she reneged and said while I like you, there's got to be chaching happening. So I'm going with it for now, but it's not dating. In fact, she's referring to our next encounter as a date, and I'm feeling like I may want to draw some clear boundaries.
Uh, I always thought 'date' (in the context of the hobby) was always just a euphamism for a 'session' (lol another euphamism...)
That way ... she's not going to stalk me, and I know she'll go back to Hubby. i also know Hubby can't satisfy her so she's soo horny for me. Even if my ATF has hubby (she fucks him 3x-4x a week) and kids, I still get a call from her out of the blues. I guess I'm just adorable 
Make me laugh my ass off.
I found this to be the most interesting thread I've read all night. I am presently up in Canada on a business trip but rather than go out for another boring dinner, I decided to stay in and review this board (as you can probably tell by all of the comments I have left), anyway I digress.
Overall Snowblind hit it on the head and I couldn't have said it better myself. I particularly agree with his comments in regards to intelligence. I have not written any reviews, because I probably spend more time conversing with the providers then I do actually participating in the deed. And most of you guys aren't interested in how intellectually intriguing a woman is, you're just interested in the juicy details, so therefore I have not written any reviews, but I will start in the near future.
Doggie Stud also makes an excellent point and while Kids and a Husband doesn't have to be an important part of the criteria it is definately a fringe benefit.
A survey was taken about two years ago in which a bunch of guys were asked "what is the most important quality that you look for in a women". The answer: "a sense of humor", over 80% of the guys responded with that answer, so Jockeypants you're right on with that as part of the criteria, a critical part.
I can't say enough about appreciation, I think most of us want that from any woman that we are dealing with. If I get the sense that a woman is really enjoying my company I certainly will strongly consider making her a regular.
And last but certainly not least is Denverdon's comment's, I don't think most of us are in this for love or a wife. If I'm taking bets we probably already have that. We are in for the beauty, the passion and the pleasure that is woman.
I'd have to say E. If I get to add choices, it's as simple as sunrise--a hottie who makes me feel like I'm the only other person in the universe when we're together--Shayla, Darlene, Vanessa--you get the drift.