I've been seeing a lady, my ATF for 4 years now. We see each other 3 or 4 times a year for weekends and usually a one week vacation. She knows everything about me, but she has told me little of her private life other than stories that often create questions. I've always respected that. But, recently while doing some research related to my job, I stumbled on to her real name and other information including her facebook page. I now know that she's married, has kids, and where she lives (over 1,000 miles away). I don't want to stalk her, out her, or do anything to harm her. I will be seeing her next week while I am away on business. She'll be spending two nights with me. My fear is that I will have difficulty keeping a straight face when she tells me about her fairy tale life. Should I tell her what I know?

If she chooses to lie about her personal life why do you care as long as she fucks your brains out that's all that should matter

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Even if the way you found out about her is as innocent as you say, she'll probably not believe you and will think (with some justification) you've been peeking into her life.  So if you value your relationship with her, just STFU.

-- Modified on 4/15/2014 1:35:05 PM

Let alone every page she's on?

If he values her privacy, why click on all her sites and figure out her family life, work life, where she lives?

If he values her privacy, then he should respect it.

-- Modified on 4/15/2014 1:37:34 PM

I never pry for providers' real info or stalk them. I could care less about real names and backgrounds when spending an hour or two in p4p. However I would never spend a weekend, or a week or travel with a lady without us both knowing each other's real info.

So I don't know how to answer your question. In your case, I guess you could just fake it and act like you never found out anything. In my case, it would have never happened in the first place.

Hell that's longer than most average marriages LOL. You must be really gullible. And yes, she deserves to know the truth now that you know for her own safety. Approach it sensitively, but approach it most definitely. Realize you could lose her...but also maybe not. Maybe you'll lift the 'fantasy' weight off her shoulders and she can be herself with you and it can be even better. Who knows.....but 4 years she's been playing a fantasy with you and you had no idea?  

Again............4 YEARS? WHATTTT? Something just does NOT equate here, sorry.  

(of course I disagree

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sounds like you've been Internet stalking her.  

Considering You're spending so much time with her you should have known that already though. One week vacations?  Ad you've known her for 4years? It's hard not to know her info in that case . she must have done a good job concealing herself all this time

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No I was not internet stalking her. The name I was researching happened to be the same as her maiden name. There's no similarity at all between her real name and her escort name. And, while we've spent weeks together, we've never traveled to the location together-we are 1,000 miles apart. She's never had to show an ID in my presence.

and claim you don't know her real name...OK.  Seems a bit far-fetched to believe you wouldn't have asked her on that first week-long trip in the event you needed to assist with something.  But I'll play along and pretend that this isn't just a troll post.

If all you're going to do here on out is see her for an hour or two at a time...just keep on playing the fantasy game.  Why you need to know anything more than her stage name is not germane.  She shows up on time...you pay her to be whoever..and she goes back (presumably to her family).  Seems like the most logical route at this point.

Or let her know that you've been Sherlock Holmes...confront her with her online information and have her slap you upside the head and high-tail it out of there.  

And if you go that route be sure to post here again and let us know just how thrilled she was to have found a stalker...and after four years  LOL
 

for some reason and 'her' name popped up? I will assume the only way you would've known if it was on Linkedin or something with a photo and if it was actually 'job' related...how else would you have known.  

She's not responsible for showing 'you' an ID. Ever.  

Something still smells fishy....

So she meets you somewhere (presumably for a week or so)...and fortunately she hasn't had any issues that might have required you to intervene.

You're either a gambler...or an idiot.  I'll suggest it's the latter of those two options.

Any more tidbits that might make your story more believable...or one to show you less of an idiot?

As I posted below...if all you do is see her for an hour or two, no biggie.  But to be somewhere for a week...and not know who you are with..oh well.

I also don't buy the searching a name and voila...there she was  

If any fool would take a woman on a vacation (presumably for a week as well) and NOT know who the fuck she really is...

Yep...that is a fool.

So you'd be OK to go with some random dude on a week vacation not knowing his "real name"?  Bullshit...no fucking way would you, or any sane person  LOL

and I have been battling heads for a few weeks now LOL. Ya wanna wrestle CPA????

...I think it would be in the best interests of both parties to cut each other loose and move on. You don't even need to give her a legitimate reason why, since you don't see/spend time with each other day-to-day.

(I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here, that what you said is true. I've heard of stranger coincidences in life.)

'voluntarily' send a photo/website etc etc to me at some point during our conversation. They are more than comfortable in letting me know who they are.  

Go ahead, you can freak out now LOL    

I think it's a wonderful gesture and that is where trust begins on both sides and I believe they know I take that gesture very seriously in having an idea of who I will be spending time with...and yes, it eases my mind absolutely. We've already established 99.9% of my dates begin in 'public' so no need in my mind to fish for their ID like I'm a god damn bouncer at that point. It's simple, they don't match their photo......I'm out. If after they match their photo, I feel the need to go fishing....I most certainly will.

-- Modified on 4/15/2014 3:25:39 PM

hope its not you ... xoxo

Yea, I figured no one would believe how I found here but it happened as I searched the images associated with a name. So, I will see her next week and I won't tell her what I know. But I do need to ask her what I would do if she got sick or injured and I had to intervene. And yes, I was stupid of me to spend that much time with her without knowing the answer to that question.

BACKCHANNELING Mr. Black which you claim you don't do...remember?  

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why would I ask these guys who I should fuck ? think about it ? exactly , lol

deniro in heat ... xoxo ...  

ou googled her and she was too dumb to realize her provider info. connected back to her real info. Probably used the same email, phone number or photos on one too many sites that got crossed. Just stop seeing her. It's obvious after 4 freaking years, you are more of a couple vs. a provider and a client so either back off or ask her to marry you, after she leaves her husband lol.

Some providers create a 'fairy tale' bio in order to protect their privacy.  It goes right along with their stage name etc.  I would not tell her what you know.  Her life outside your time together is none of your business.  If she reads your face or raised eye brow...  and challenges you on it...  you say something seems odd & toss it back to her.  If she swears to it, fine, let it drop.  

If you press her, you'll come off as a stalker...  threatening to her private life...  & it'll be the last time you hear from her.

Probably not if you expect to get a decent blowjob...

Shit does indeed happen...and if something were to happen to her (or you) and you don't have any way of getting her the attention she may need quickly...you know the rest of the story.

As for her personal life...that's really none of your concern or business.  Just as your personal real life is none of hers.

But to not know who each of you are IRL when it could be critical to have that information...yep, that is just plain stupid.

slap slap slap . dammit you were talking in your sleep again , some funny love story or something  

I wouldn't...but that's just me.  I guess other dudes whack off to the thought that a hooker is looking at his picture.

So trust huh...so YOU would give a dude your IRL name in the event something came up where he needed to assist.  Or are you still stuck on not giving this info out..ever to anyone?  Seems if that's the case trust is a one-way street  LOL

Which was the topic of the OP!

I have fake id , Reginald van Gleason at your service . and the photo ALDO of course xoxo

You've been lining this girls coffers for ages now. It's long overdue.  

On a separate note, no need to bring up the personal shit. You'll be more likely to keep a straight face knowing you saved some coin with the discount and saved your dignity too.

And that's quite nice that you feel the need to say you don't want to "stalk her". How gentlemanly.  

A thousand hookers the nation over can finally sleep tonite knowing you are doing the chivalrous and noble thing.

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+1

They doo it

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shell need to know who the fuck he is for emergency care .. lol

don't mess with these ladies offspring . don't do it

You're not dating the girl that you found her "real life" online...
You're "dating" a "persona."

That's like thinking when Friends wasn't on tv that Ross and Rachel were really hanging out at the coffee shop..

No, Jennifer was off living with Brad.

There are a lot of married providers out there.  The longer you are in the hobby the more you find out. Some will disclose to you in session if you make them cum really good. Some are separated or husband in jail or husband over seas in a war.

and you know I like the TS smell. Let that bouquet linger, I say.  

And that's all I'm saying, LOL. No WAAAYYYY am I getting in the midst of this budding romance. ;

down there , in fact floral with no pungent aroma of the seven seas ? zen don't let a brother down before he even goes down ..  

second question what photo did you use ? and can I borrow it ? thank you I will get my own matching id not a problem .

I talk to someone at a meeting or I get a resume or some such thing and, if I'm curious, I'll google the name to see if there's any quick, easy info.  "Mary Roe" ... too many hits ... "Images" to see the if anyone looks like the person I met at the meeting or if it's someone we might want to hire. So what if I do or do not find the Mary Roe I spoke to at the conference?  I'm scrolling through a LOT of Mary Roe images.  What OP describes sounds reasonable and not crazy to me.   But then, ...  

Like OP, my eyes would bug out if I searched "Mary Roe" and saw real life pics and info about someone with whom I've had a GFE private conference.  Would I dig deeper?  Maybe?  Probably?  As long as it's easy and not taking up too much time.    

I think OP was doing a legit search for Mary Roe and stumbled upon links to ATF.  

What should he say or do?  I THINK HE SHOULD KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT AND PRETEND LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED and let the gig continue or fade out as seems fit.  Usually no, but I've read reviews of "I thought she looked a little young so I asked for ID" and all you really need to see is legit ID (license, passport) with a photo that matches the girl and an uncovered birthdate that verifies age.  A thumb or piece of tape can keep name and address info covered up

and that tuna is just fine on your menu. You ain't foolin' nobody!

And here's the pic:

She clearly wants her hooker life to NEVER cross paths with her real life. The minute he lets on he knows I bet she shuts down and that would be the last he hears from her.

Or he can ask for a discount and she can lessen her time or acts commensurate with said discount.  

The proper thing to do is let her offer a discount and if she doesn't she most likely feels the effort she puts into their time together is worth her rate. If the guy does not he can find someone cheaper. The notion that some money is better than none only goes so far if seeing a cheap ass makes you mad or cringe. Sometimes it is just not worth the time or effort

he would have a bad accident while away. And I am not even slightly kidding.

A code word for "after months of stalking her"

I call bullshit, and guys wonder why women guard their personal information with their life. Fucktards like the OP are why. If the OP wasn't a stalker he would have simply closed the page and forgotten what he saw after "stumbling" on her private information.

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then you have to start knowing the real person.  Hours or even an overnight a persona is OK.  But with whole weekends or a week, I'd want to know who I'm really with.  Don't much care about a real name, but the rest...

Did you check out that blood moon last night.

Brings back memories...doesn't it?  I didn't notice any rings around it however!

Do you have that same email address from last year?  We should chat again  LOL

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After all that time you're going to know more about her outside of her Work. She tells you private details about her Life because she Trusts you. Don't mention all the info you found out about her. Just enjoy her company and don't betray her Trust

Heck...to a 20 year old I'm pretty sure I'm old.  To an 80 year old...I'm a punk.

Both however would agree that I'm a bit crazy LOL

See...eventually when anyone posts hoping to hide themselves...it all comes out.  And that's OK too.

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And on the downside, be careful about going outdoors during a thunderstorm.

Things that are a million-to-one odds (give or take) don't seem to phase you, so they must occur frequently in your (charmed?) life. Your OP has such a mundane, everyday feel about this indiscretion of yours.

When you are on these extended visits, don't you learn about the person/persona just by how she moves and expresses herself? By how she fucks you? Why do you want to know her history? Or anybody's history, in or out of the shadowy life? Yeah, if you want to hire someone a resume is nice, but why would you want to know any personal history about the woman whose time shared with you is totally about the moment? Or do thoughts like her real name, her family life, the street she lives on flicker in your consciousness during cowgirl? If it does, you're getting some poor quality sex. Ditch the bitch. I could line you up with some winners where such thoughts won't find their way into your skull while you're inside her vagina.

If you know something about her life, you are now buying into her lie. If you buy the lie, you own the lie. You participate in the lying. You become a liar. It's uncomfortable being a liar, isn't it? And for no good reason? She tells a false story because you ask about her past, which isn't your business. She responds with a fabrication to protect herself. She HAS a reason to deceive you. But you have no reason to deceive her by withholding what you've discovered about her.

So far, you're in a dishonest relationship with a woman who gives you inferior sex, and you're spending what?!

You'll never be able to keep your mouth shut about how much you know about her, witness your glib verbosity in sharing your findings here on the board with me as well as these assholes posted above. And the lurkers.

So break it to her BEFORE your next excursion into nevernerverland, well before. She'll not want to see you, but that's probably the best outcome you can hope for.

And work with me, Saul, buy a ticket!

(btw, I'm assuming OP is on the level here--everyone else here has called BS on him--I have my own suspicions about the legitimacy of his "stumble"--but I'm going to set those aside for the moment)

Provider type #1 is a low profile or even no-profile sort.  She might have reviews on this or some other site--but may not even have made it known that she was interested in being reviewed--she might even have been reviewed, and asked for the review to be taken down.

This type wants to be UTR for whatever reason--other civvie career, does not want her family/friends to know what she does, whatever.  These are the types where you'll be hard-pressed to find out any real info about them.

(Although really?  Weekend and week-long getaways and you've never needed to know her real name?  Presumably, you're not paying for her travel with your credit card; you must really trust her a lot that she's not "marking up" her travel expenses, and padding out her tab that way.  But I said I wasn't going to challenge the fact pattern.  So let's move on...)

Type #2 is kind of "out" to some extent or another.  They have no problem with family members and friends knowing what they do for a living.  They usually create identities in the name of their stage name on all the social networks, for the purposes of promoting themselves and their business.  Some of them even leverage this exposure, in search of other sorts of paying "adult" work (modeling or similar), or maybe because they're an advocate for some cause or another that's important to them.  This type is usually going to be pretty open about revealing real names to clients when it becomes necessary/convenient/expeditious to do so.

In any case, this lady has obviously made it clear that she doesn't want her real life, identity, etc to be a topic for discussion.  So don't blow it.  If she starts spinning stories because she thinks it's "her turn" in the conversation and appropriate for her to "share" (to keep up the pretense of the GirlFriend Experience, where if she really were a girlfriend you might be expected to give a shit about what's going on with her), just change the topic back to good movies or books seen lately, how the Dodgers are doing, or whatever.  She'll probably be relieved not to have to stoke the fires with more lies.

DON'T tell her what you know.  For whatever reason, she wants her privacy.  Respect that.  No reason to rock the boat.

(FOUR years of weekends and week-longs?  Shit, in ONE year of weekends and week-longs, I know more about one of my faves than I knew about my wife after our first year of dating?  Seriously?  Wait, I said I wasn't gonna challenge the fact pattern presented..sorry...couldn't help myself...)

...that made her results come up.  Had you looked at escort photos of her on this same computer?
I had something strange like this happen to me.
I went to my HS reunion, then the next day googled a completely unrelated topic (looking for images of ships for something I was working on), and as it turned out, one of my classmates was an artist who sold artwork depicting ships, and her results were near the top.  Of the millions upon millions of images of ships on the internet, having her artwork come up couldn't have been a coincidence.  I had been using the internet on that computer to get info about the reunion, which had a list of people from my class.

If the OP is telling the truth, I'm guesing there was some connection that made google pull up the ladies results near the top (beyond maiden name, as many probably would share the same name).  I'm no IT guy though, so I'd be interested to hear an opinion from someone more knowledgeable...

just enjoy the good pussy your not gettn at home in reality, thats not what your there for, to get to "KNOW" each other, maybe get to know each others private areas, inside and out,  
 You may abviously not like to hear about her husband n kids during a romantic hedonistic sex frenzy vacation, or do you?
 I know for me I dont like being asked alot about my life. I enjoy doing the appts and i enjoy escaping to an alternate universe just as much as the next guy. when i am encompassing ANGEL EXOTIC, i dont wanna be asked so how long you been doin this?
 or so why dont you have a boyfriend?
 do you guys want us to tell you we DO have a boyfriend and he is actually good looking and jacked and tough and will whip your dork ass ? the guys ask dumb questions like oh you dont have a bf? of course every escort has a godam bf! why do you think they are workin so hard to get all the money to buy a condo to live in alone?
 the guys need to focus on thier pric durin the appts, dont try to get to know us, we dont wanna know you guys any more than you wanna know us, I say stick to conversation on topic, like what you been horny over in porn you watch lately, the need for friendly banter that is just fmaking everyone uncomfortable durin a session is just ridiculous, the worst is the guys that come and talk about other escorts as if they are being told truth and the stories are real. i heard a ton of guys come tell me, about how this poor escort got robbed and he came to bail her out and give her money! i heard that one alot, just enjoy her for what your paying her fpor, no need to stress her out unessisarily and ruin the whole dam appt dude. cuz thats essentially what your gonna do, think about it,  
 how do you think her performance will be suckn your prick after you tell her you know who her kids are?
 really truly rethink the question,,,,,, honestly.
 think real hard.
 what outcome you think youl get? your gonna ruin the whole time together, leave it be, and forget you seen it,

If not, enjoy what you have and if you have a problem with her being married and having kids, it is better to break off instead of creating a bad blood between the two of you.

You can break up and be friends if, done the right way.

Realize, people have reasons not to tell you about their private lives, respect it.

My first reaction was this was total BS and that the OP just wanted to test the waters here on outting the provider to herself -- and let's be clear, that is exactly what he'd be doing. Reasons? Maybe he wanted a closer relationship, maybe he wanted to force an ending or maybe he just didn't think it through and thought she might find it funny/interesting. Only the 'force an ending' is likely.

I still lean towards the above but what Jstgttnstrtd wrote is not implausible. The big tech companies (and an endless number of bottom feeder ad firms) aggregate and cross-reference data and pimp it out with zero hesitation or concern for privacy.  

Try searching for 'bikinis', 'colon cancer therapies' or even very specific 'silver tea sets with disney characters' and then check your gmail, yahoo, FB or other mainstream site -- or even look at the side ads as you do each Google Search. You'll likely see related ads to your previous searches.

Companies are now also connecting pics together via facial recognition/tagging or even similar pics. If you happen to search on a computer where you had any legit site open (GB, yahoomail or just CNN), scores of companies will have already tied your searches to your name and everything they have on you. They say they anonymize it but that's clearly a lie.

tl;dr version: OP is probably not being honest but this type 'coincidence' will become more common that you think. We will see a similar story make Reddit and therefore mainstream news within a few years (if not months) and then get ready for a national hobbiest/provider freakout.

When she is with you, she is the character she assumes while working.

Her true personal life is hers to share or not share.

Be a gentleman and treat her the way you would want to be treated if you were in her shoes