Sunday, during my habitual afternoon snooze, I get a call on my cell. It's from a provider I had seen [I did not take the call, the young lady left a message] last summer. She's making a courtesy call, I guess you'd call it, to let me know that she's going to be in town for the next week, and if my schedule allows, why don't i give her a call, she'd love to see me, etc...
OK, this is nothing like my previous misadventures with the mass emailings at the end of December. The message was totally discreet, as bland as could be, absolutely no reference to hobbying, and no one has access to my cell except me.
So, while i'm no stranger to hobbying, some of the mores and folkways are new to me. Is it customary to get this type of call? I'm in no way upset, just curious. [Several UTR ladies of very long acquaintance call and email me at home, but these are women I've known for 19, 15, 14 and 7 years respectively.] The lady in question here was one i had met only one time.
Anyone else have a similar experience?
TY in advance.
I would say it is pretty unusual. If i were a single guy it would not bother me much, but since I am not I would not appreciate it. Now, I have had ladies email me to let me know they are visiting, which I do appreciate.
unless invited. I am single, and have no worries about my voice mail. I have met several providers who I invited to keep my number and call me when they were in town, two have taken me up on it over the last couple of years.
If a provider did that to me without being invited, I would be a little annoyed.
Woah! No that is not typical, and it certainly isn't professional. You may be fortunate in that you do not have a SO, but not all men are in the same boat. A seemingly innocuous call saying "hey, I'm going to be in town and I'd love to see you again" is NOT something most gentlemen could easily explain away.
That was BAD.......VERY BAD.....form on her part. Once again the oft repeated addage is worth mentioning - you are paying her to go AWAY. There are a few gentlemen with whom I am so familiar and comfortable, that I can and do call them out of the blue. However, I can count them on one hand with enough fingers left over to hold a tea cup in polite society. For every other gentleman out there, I do not even e-mail them unless they contact me first. That is simply Discretion 101.
Never ever would I call a client out of the blue. The ONLY time I call a client is when they've left a message for me and asked that I call them back. Even then, on my voice mail message I ask that they let me know when I may or MAY NOT call them back. The last thing I want to do is put him in an awkward situation. Very very very poor form on that provider's part. Even my regulars, ones that I've gotten to know very well, I would never presume to call them uninvited.
Holly
I never call or email anyone out of the blue. You just never know who may be around while that call comes in or email pops up.
I also request that the gentleman leaves his name, number and a good time to call him back when he calls my phone. I make it a policy to not call those back who do not leave a message.
Agree. Why in the world would a lady call a guy (could be another lady or a sales person) back if there was no message.
IBID..not a cool thing to do at all, unless prompted by you!
m-
Very bad form. I have had clients ask me to "give them a ring" when I return to the area and I have never, once called. It's just too risky in my book.
As for email, I will randomly contact a few clients I know well but that is a very small number. Typically it's to pick their brain or make a political jab, lol. However, I only will email if permission is given.
XO
Melanie
While I have only been hobbying for about 2 years, and have no SO, I have never had a provider contact me like that.
In my opinion, she either feels real comfortable with you, and/or she needs money real bad. Either way, I would be really cautious. If it was one of your long-time providers, I would not be as so concerned.
If it was a good call, might be a good a blessing in disguise, one never knows.....
Swim
well, i'd like -- no, i'd love to believe the call was because she really meant it when she said i had the gentlest touch she'd ever experienced when i massaged her. But I'm a big jaded boy, and I know better. And way too insecure in the bargain.
I guess she was just trying to fill up her dance card.
Here's a case, I think, of no harm, no foul. Certainly, nothing like the mass emailing with my civilian email addy showing!
Just curious what others thought, the elaborate etiquette dance in some aspects of the hobby realy is amazing. But in the end, most of it is commonsensical.
Thanks to all for the input.
I had one provider that would call me just to talk. She would be out running errands and said she was thinking about me and wanted to chat. She was out of town and if she was coming to town she would of course call to let me know as well. But she was the only one that would call me out of the blue just to chat. I liked it but then you start to think that perhaps she is really into you and thats when you get in trouble. I dont see her anymore but I can kind of look at it like she just wanted to bait me enough to keep me on the hook and interested.
I see a lot of visiting ladies and usually set up appointments via e-mail and many will e-mail me when they come back to town. I actually appreciate that. It's an email address I only use for hobbying.
I have several provider initiated phone calls, but they've usually been with providers I've seen a few times, not visiting providers. Given the situation, I didn't mind the calls.
I find it to be rather tacky. Even if it was okay with you, of all days a Sunday, when most are with family... NOT good. If I call, which is rare unless requested, the first thing I ask is "Is this a good time, or are you busy"? But never do I call unless I have been asked to.
I am glad it caused no harm for you.
XoXoXo,
C
-- Modified on 1/21/2008 9:05:17 PM
-- Modified on 1/21/2008 10:45:21 PM
Uhm....No. Plain and simple.
Unprofessional. Tacky. Apparently needing $$...
Gheez...why the hell do these girls pull this crap?? Giving me a bad name...lol
I still get AUTOMATED voice mail messages twice or three times a year on my home,cell and business voice mails from a provider I haven't seen in over three years!
Fortunately, being single now, it isn't a problem but I can only feel for the poor souls whose wife hits the play button on the answering machine before he does.
Yeesh.
-- Modified on 1/22/2008 7:00:10 AM
As a provider myself I would say its way out of the ordinary. On occasion I have contacted a few regulars to let them know I had a special or a doubles partner we sessioned with in the past was back in town and I was letting them know. However the only catch is these gents were NOT married and I had no fear of getting them in any kind of trouble and most had asked me to contact them for the reasons listed above.
I think its totally unethical for any provider to contact a gent for any reason what so ever unless he has specifically asked her to do so.
How does she know your not married and your wife isn't sitting right there beside you and can hear every word being stated on the phone. Thats potentially something that can ruin your life and cause you a lot of major problems.
If a lady is going to contact you then they should only do so thru PM here on the site or thru your email addy. Nothing else is acceptable unless you asked her to do it!
I agree with channel guy--If a provider doesn't have the common sense to realize that this is an "under the radar" hobby, she is a danger to every hobbyist out there. Come on, this is still a socially frowned-upon activity and we have things to lose by indiscreet calls.
I do have a few ladies I will chat with from time to time.
Regarding e-mail, I have recently added a separate hobby e-mail address. I still have a few ladies who still e-mail the old address. I have asked several of them to change their address book. Still waiting for one in particular.
YES!! I've actually had this happen to me when I was living in Vegas. I had seen the provider once, and she sent me a text message out of the blue a few months later. I know providers need to keep notes here and there, but I find it really freaky that providers would keep my phone number and other details. It's almost like they have a Customer Relationship Management system or something. Once our time is over, if I want to see you again, I'll call. Otherwise my opinion is you can lose my number and contact info, please.
The first was from my ATF calling after the Giants won on Sunday. She is not, as far as I know, a Giant fan, but she loves the Yankees, as I do. So her call was most welcomed! She actually called before friends and family did...all I can say, I pick my ladies well! The second...the lady I saw earlier this week for the second time...a total swetheart! This hobby has been good to me for nearly the past four years, and things are going as good as ever! 
I have a few regulars who are single. One i particular I have seen probably 7 or 8 times. We have some similar interests and he has said call or drop by anytime. Now, im not just gonna drop by. But I will call every couple weeks to remind him a certain fight is on, or he will call me and we just talk............sometimes he will ask me to come over, sometimes not
And a couple others who are single, I would not call to solicit a session, but usually we have a shared interest and will call or email if something is interesting coming up
Email tho bothers me...........I have had men initiate contact, give me all their personal info and then we were unable to meet, usually because I wasnt offering incall or if I was it didnt fit their schedule
They have always said "next time you do let me know"
so i have sent brief, discreet emails LETTING THEM KNOW. Most are interested or if not, they are polite. But a few have really gone off, accused me of spamming and soliciting............even tho their email asking to be advised is in the body of the new message!
What is up with that????????