It seems that every time I walk into a restaurant with a pretty young thing on my arm, we get the finest table, the best service, the most attentive bartenders, etc.  

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eat a hot pocket?

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Of the woman in strip drag me in the vip room.

I was once out with a beauty in London, and the waiter was actually annoying with the frequency that he filled our water glasses and took plates away.  (It also made what she was doing with her foot under the tablecloth a bit uncomfortable!)

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It depends on the item 80% of time it is mtn Dew

Back when I used to just take the ball and chain to dinner, we had to sit in the kitchen next to the dish washer.

I sort of miss the stories the dish washer used to regale us with however.  Real interesting chaps, them.

LOL, plus the steam was likely good for your skin!

...not that I blame you.  

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I understand that it's called mountain dew, but is the taste formulated to appeal to rednecks?

... on a beautiful, warm summer evening.  We decided to take advantage of the weather and sit outside.  The outdoor deck on the roof was full, but there were some tables on the sidewalk.  We got the table closest to the front door, and closest to the intersection of two bustling streets.  Not only was our waiter (and the manager, and the waiter-in-training, who was a woman) very attentive, but we enjoyed the I'm-trying-not-to-look-like-I'm-staring-but-I-am looks at my date from passerby.  And we also had fun checking THEM out and commenting on them, e.g. "Ohhh, she's HOT!  Let's ask her if she'd like to come back with us and play!"  That comment was from my provider date; she's bi.