Ok, I've been hsnging around TER for a few months now, reading the reviews and discussion boards. Having a great time! I've e-mailed a few very nice providers, but I just can't follow through and actually spend time with one, much as I want to. It's the feelings of guilt, I think.

If I go through with it - break the ice - will I feel better, or will I really feel as guilty as I think I will? Any opinions?

Depends on why your feeling guilty.  Remeber homosapiens are not a pair bonding species.

Never having felt any guilt in the 25 or so years I have been hobbying, I can't tell you whether breaking the ice will make you feel better or worse.

However, do one thing for yourself. Find a provider with a number of reviews where the fellows write about how great she made them feel emotionally. Tell her about your apprehension. Buy her flowers. Then relax and let her take charge.

Why are you feeling guilty?

I have no SO but sometimes I do think about why I'm going out paying for sex, why am I spending so much money...But then again I think...Why Not? Outside of this hobby, my life is pretty much normal. This hobby makes me feel different. And I'm actually having fun doing it too. How rare is that?

I agree that it's impossible to answer your question without understanding where the guilt is coming from.

Also, is it guilt or is it anxiety about all the unknowns of meeting a provider?  If it's the latter, that's quite common, if not universal, among newbies.  And, in fact, that's part of the thrill -- overcoming the anxiety and getting together with another human being with whom you make an intimate connection and with whom you -- finally -- relax.

In any event, one of the great things about this hobby is that whatever you do -- it's confidential and anonymous.

Consider bridging the gap this way:  find a provider who's flexible, has compassion and some depth, and suggest a meeting for coffee or a drink ON THE CLOCK -- i.e., it may not be $$$ for a FS hour, but it may be $ for half an hour's chat in a Starbucks.  You don't commit to doing anything that would invoke your guilt feelings, but you take a "taste."  You can ask questions, you can get comfortable.  But you don't jump in all at once.

I'd be curious to hear from providers on this suggestion.

You will feel guilty. Why? because it sounds like it is in your nature to do so. Is that necessarily a bad thing? Only you can answer that.

Think clearly about what your expectations are before you venture into this "hobby". Is it the thrill? The sex? companionship? Love? etc...? Because for the most part the lines are drawn pretty clear about what this hobby delivers. There are always those exceptions, but read the reviews to get an idea of what to expect. If after all of that you are still interested, then maybe this hobby is for you. (guilt or not)

..feel better or still feel guilty.   You really won't know till you've tried.  If you decided to try then doing as suggested above and booking a provider whose reviews say she's friendly, makes guys feel at ease etc is a good idea.  

If you get there, chat a little, or get further along than just chatting and than and then decide don't want to go through with it then it's fine for you to explain you've changed your mind and leave (though at least try to convey to her that it's not because of her you are leaving).  You will have payed out some money but at least you will have the answer to your questions.

Of course you may go and have the time of your life and have a grin on your face for a week

If you have an SO and feel that seeing a provider would be morally wrong because of your SO relationship, then don't do it.  

If you feel that you would be exploiting the provider if you saw her, then be assured that most of the well-reviewed providers on TER are doing this because they want to, and are not exploited at all.

OT-

Where did you play LAX?

If you feel guilty just thinking about something, why would you go ahead with it?  We normally feel guilty when we make a mistake, hurt somebody, or don't live up to our own expectations of who we want to be.  Guilt usually keeps us from repeating our mistakes.  If just thinking about something causes these feelings in you, imagine how disappointed  you are going to be in yourself if you follow through.  All the justification and momentarry bliss won't make up for how disappointed you are going to feel about not living up to your own expectations and character.

I feel no guilt because I treat the ladies with genuine respect. In general I get treated with respect. Well except for one that is going postal on me right now because we became too close "And she is having a hard time dealing with it".  Notice I said we not ME.  

You sure what you are feeling is guilt and not anxiety?  Anxiety would be normal.  I had a lot of anxiety the first time with a provider. But it passed.  Never felt any guilt however.

"(MOST) of the well-reviewed providers on TER are doing this because they want to, and are not exploited at all. "

Interesting use of "most". IS that just a safe writing practice, or does that come from catching a glimpse of the hobby backstage?

A year ago, I was exactly where you are.  I did what I had to and sometimes I felt guilt and sometimes I felt like "does life get any better".  There are risks involved that make this a very complicated subject. I guarranty that it'll give you a different perspective of life. Will it make you feel better? I'm not sure, but it will probably help you get to know yourself better.

Good Luck

What a fabulous bunch of responses - thanks you all so much. Knowing your opinions has been very helpful. Sorry I wasn't more clear: the source of my expected guilt would be a SO.

I don't think you can realistically expect anyone on this board or anywhere else to give meaningful answers to that question.  We might as well try to guess whether you will end up rich and famous in 10 years or face down in a Manchester gutter.  Your choice, your consequences.