I am more addicted than the worst crack addict. I seek out escorts 24/7. I have regulars, see independents and agencies providers, I spend most of my income on Hobbying. I work around the clock sometimes to pay for future appointments. If I see a lady I like (say at the grocery store) I would go to my many esort sites that I have saved on my favorites until I find an exact match and set up an appointment. I can't go out of town on buisness and not see someone. I rather Hobby than go to a movie. I make excuses to go somewhere (like to the car repair shop for an oil change) to Hobby. I have told myself many times this is the last time but always renig. Of course my wife would leave me if she found out but hopefully she won't. I think she has an idea but not really pressing the issue. I still get it up with her as well and love her but this Hobby thing is very addictive. If I am attracted to a provider and feel comfortable and she with me I may and have lived dangerously during a session on more than one occassion. I feel like it makes life worth living but if I continue I could lose everything I worked so hard for. Any advice? PS By the way if any hot providers in or around Youngstown OH area will be there next month on business let me know for a 2 hour session. See what I mean 
You are not that sick. Your mother dropped you on your head during your formative years. You need the attention of a bottle of Zanax.
just reality. A variation of AA: "Hi, my name is Ricky, and I am a john."
Look, I agree that this "hobby" is incredibly addictive. The more you get, the more you want. Money? Hell, there's always more to make, especially if you're in business for yourself.
I, too, have confronted the same problem. Do I still hobby to much? Sure, I do. But I find that cold, hard reality sometimes reigns me in a little. You mention that you still love your wife. Ever think of life w/out her? Got kids? How about getting home and they're not there b/c she took them w/ her. Dick get limp yet?
Ah, now it goes down, but then you see a pix of a drop dead gorgeous girl that you just gotta do. Dick hard again. Its not easy. I fail a few times a week. But if I didn't at least try to keep reality into my life, I'd be broke. And how many ladies do you think are going to give you off the clock time when they know you've run out of money? Maybe some would if you're a good guy, but then that will dry up. They may like you; but in the end, its how they make a living. Freebies will make them go broke (aside from shattering very important barriers).
Curtis, I recently went a week w/ no providers to spend time on my business. Not only was it good for my business, it proved to me I could live w/out the hobby, even if only temporarily. After Thanksgiving, I plan on trying 2 weeks. Maybe you should try it.
I know the thrill is quite a rush, but is it worth what you could lose? I don't like thinking about that, but it reminds me to at least be careful. The tone of your post is that you're not being as careful anymore. If you truly don't want to get caught, slow down. I didn't say stop, just slow down and take a look at where you are in your life.
Good luck.
Many people find addiction in many things. Sexual addiction is right up there with the rest of them. From the way that you describe your situation it sounds as though you've let this take over your life just as others have allowed drugs or alcohol to take theirs over. You know as well as I do that it's only a matter of time before your wife finds out.....you can't hide anything when you are doing it at that level (and, trust me when I say that she's going to be less forgiving on this one than she would be if it were a bottle).
My suggestion to you would be to not try to handle this alone. You say that you are going to quit and that you want to quit and you're asking for help......I think that you are asking in the wrong place. There are several programs that deal with sexual addiction. Try looking up those instead of more websites and boards. Trying to find help here is like a crack addict walking into a crack house and admitting that he's addicted to crack and needs help.
Some people have to lose everything that they've worked for and hit rock bottom before they can ever regain any kind of control.......and, that's usually because the control comes from not having any money left to support your habit. You can be one of those people or you can get a grip on it now......and, if that means a program to help you then so be it. My friend, it is your life and your families life that you are playing with and only you can make the decisions that are right for you!
PS. Don't confuse a hobby with an addiction. It will put you on very dangerous ground. I think that you can already see where the difference lies for you.
Best of Luck,
Summer
This happened to me. It ended the hard way, when I had a series of financial reversals and just couldn't afford squat. The first few months are really tough, and you'll find yourself masturbating several times a day to fanatasies of providers you have known and loved in the past. After about 7 months you just flatten out and the need miraculosly, or so it seems, leaves.
After several years I'm finally rebuilt to where I was, and I still hobby, but it's just that - a hobby. I go weeks w/o thinking of any of them [well, with one exception who I really really miss].
I learned the hard way. Please learn the easy way, from my stupidity and reckless, wretched, out of control excess. Not being married, i risked little. You have a wife [and kids?] and a lot more at stake.
Good luck to you. Peace and good health.
addictions. Yours is sex. What is happening to you is something that every hobbyist must be aware of and work to avoid getting trapped in.
This is so timely, as my new SO (who is also a provider) just asked me if I thought I was a sex addict. I said yes, but that I am glad I am. I beats most other addictions. The cost thing is a noodle scratcher, but so far I am managing.
And, by the way, it did cost me my marriage, but I was lucky. My ex did not want the kids, so have them. Holding on to a bad marriage is not worth it. If your marriage is good though, you should reconsider the hobbying. She will find out. It is only a matter of time.
Here is what I suggest in order to cut down on the frequency and thereby cost: Think quality, not quanity.
Is the quality of your sessions what it should be? If not, learn how to slow down and get more intimacy from the sessions. Do you regard the time as so much physical activity? Focus more on the social aspects, the conversation, gazing at each others eyes. Do not focus on how many times you can get off. Dine out together. To the extent you have sexual contact, make a point to build very slowly. Have a lot of foreplay, learn to give massage, explore, take bubble baths together.
I find that since doing this, I am much more satisfied and seek sex less often. At one time I saw providers 2 to 3 times a week. Now I am down to once a week, or every other week.
I have found that Tantric goddesses are very good at teaching these kinds of skills.
This girl will cure you
http://www.allhatnocattle.net/larry%20ann.jpg
Addiction is addiction is addiction, that is what I have learned. I can easily trade one addiction for another, do it constantly. I would suggest, if you are serious, seeking out a 12-step program in conjunction with consultation with a professional. Remember the addiction is just a symptom of the underlying problem. A professional with the help of a support group will help solve the problem but it is up to you. Good luck and if you want help it is out there but you have to seek it. Nobody is going to knock on your door and save you from yourself. So, the question becomes, what do you really want? That is always the question I eventually have to ask myself. LIke I said good luck.
As part of some medical training I once went to some AA and Narcotics Anonymous classes. During the breaks I noticed 98% of the attendees were smoking, sometimes chain-smoking.
The director told me they encourage smokers to continue smoking, and maybe even suggest non-smokers take it up as they try to kick drugs or alcohol.
As a medical (non-smoking) professional, I was at first appalled at his remarks, but then realized it made sense. Since it's so difficult for humans to stop drugs or alcohol cold-turkey, it's helpful if they can at least fall back on another addiction--one that doesn't affect their work or personal lives. Then, later, they can work on the smoking issue.
BTW, the 12 step programs and regular support meetings seem to be much more helpful than quitting your addiction alone (whether that be sex addiction or alcohol).
Good luck to the poster with his addiction.
I'd rather stay with the hobbying, thank you. It's only a little more expensive and it doesn't stain your teeth quite as much.
When you want things to be different you will make the changes you need. Or you wont. But there is help when you want it.
Go to several SA meetings and see what you think.
Get yourself a therapist trained in SA.
Google 'sexual addiction', 'treatment', and 'what is'
Take the challenge: try one of the several online tests:
http://www.sexaddictionhelp.com/test.html
http://www.sa.org/test.php
-- DH
much more serious problems, ie, no sex drive.
It's alright, these guys are the only people in the world who work for free, so they'd never freak a person over nothing.
Sheesh. If you can't figure out when you have a problem, nobody else is gonna do it for you.
I had the same problem until I realized that I have other things that are more important. Pay yourself, take the money out of your checking account and invest on a regular basis. Have a budget for the hobby. It is very easy to spend 3K/month like I have done. Limit your visits to 1 or 2 sesions a month.
This weekend I went camping. As I was sleeping in the tent I was dreaming about being with a provider, lol.
I must admit it is fun trying to find something new. The other thing that has helped out a lot is not to hobby when the wife is not on her period.
I do the same thing and collect up providers on a shopping list. I will only use a new one if a favorite is not available.
Establish some rules. If a providers period comes on during a session don't see her again. If a provider shows up late find another provider. Some providers are known to always be late. If you find out a provider is using drugs see another provider. If a provider is a drama queen see another provider. If you always have to see a provider during normal work day hours find another provider.
-- Modified on 10/30/2005 4:59:10 PM
Seriously -- you sound perfectly normal to me.