I went to Tampa on a business trip. After business was done for the day, I went to a local strip club (the Mons Venus), and got a number of lap dances. I then went out drinking and was EXTREMELY horny. Drank a ton of margaritas and went back to my hotel room. Went to the Yellow Pages under Escorts and called a few agencies. An agency said they could have a girl over in an hour. I told the agency I wanted a thin white girl with huge tits! I have some more drinks (and am now pretty shitfaced), when I get a knock on the door. I open it, and the girl is heavy, with small tits, and is a RED NECK HICK! She says that'll be $200 for the hour. I'm so drunk and horny, I give the ugly hick the money and start to get undressed. She says "don't get aggressive with me I have pepper spray and I've been known to use it"!!!! I let the pig know that I was a gentleman and asked her why she wasn't getting naked??? She says, "I'm not getting naked, I'm married and my husband is waiting outside in the parking lot in the TRUCK and he's got 2 shotguns in his gun rack." Now I'm drunk as a coot and am realizing this woman is not going to be one of my ATFs !!! She says, "you weren't thinking about gettin' laid wuz ya???" I told her I'd paid for full service and expected it!! She says, I cain't fuck ya with ma husband out thar in the truck"!! She goes on to say, "I'm allowed to give ya a hand job"! I'm not kidding about what comes next! She opens up her purse and pulls out a RUBBER FUCKIN' GLOVE!!! I say what are you going to do with that??? She then goes to the bathroom and returns with the hotel's moisturizing lotion. She puts on the rubber glove and squeezes the contents of the lotion bottle on the GLOVE!!! She says I'm ready for ya now!!! As horny as I was, I was thinking about sticking my size 11 foot up this redneck's ass, then I rememebered the pepper spray and the husband outside with the shot guns! So reluctantly, I let her give me a GLOVED HJ. After I blow my load, I tell her to get her sorry thieving hick ass out of my room! She says "hunny, aint ya gonna TIP ME???" I shoved her ass out the door and slammed it shut. It turns out she even stole my cologne!!! Moral of story, don't have 10 margaritas, and use TER BEFORE hobbying!!
...my home sex life, which also led me to TER.
I think " ALL " of the men on here have a similar story to that...LOL. I wouldn't feel embarasses, its almost like a cleansing of the soul...
I found TER before my first hobbying experience.
While I have had some not-so-great sessions, TER has prevented me from having any true disasters.
...in the late 1690s by Heather Prynee and her long time beau the Right Honorable Reverend Dimsdale, not long after both were cast out of the puritan New England village in which both had been living. From court documents of the time, it appears they were overheard discussing the previous evening's "buggery" session, a term common at the time for anal sex, and were summarily driven from the village. Having little in the way of marketable skills, they formed TER in hopes that it would catch on with the newly emerging Internet. Sadly, since high-speed communications at the time consisted of horse-and-rider, the fledgling Internet never quite caught on in Colonial America, and TER languished for many years.
your content is just getting better with time. Keep it up, ya perv.
BTW, it was Hester Prynne. Loved the version PBS did in 1980 with Meg Foster as Hester...her eyes still haunt me.
...my TRUE story of the founding of TER with Nathaniel Hawthorne's fictional novel, "The Scarlet Letter". It has been said that he based his "Hester" on the real Heather, though he did leave out mention of the founding of TER and instead choose a more melodramatic/cheesy path for the Reverend. What can you say...even in the 1800s Hollywood had to go and change the whole story for reasons known only to them.
When I started the hobby 6 years ago, internet was not yet popular. The first time I called up from the yellow page in a DC hotel, I was lucky the service was ligit. The second time was a big mistake. I picked the largest ad on the yellow page and called. The midiocre looking girl arrived. She was browsing around nervously and I asked if she was new in this biz and told her to calm down. She placed a timer on my nightstand and asked for the money. After she counted the money, she asked me what I wanted to do. Of course I expected sex and then she said she was here only for companionship. Then the phone rang and I picked up the phone and her agent yelled at me that what I was asking was illegal. I knew this was a distraction tactic because as I was listening to her yelling on the phone, the girl picked up the timer and walked out of the room with my money. I couldn't stop her and felt stupid all night long.
I wonder if I would still be in this hobby if my first time turned out to be a ripoff. Never use the yellow page and always do the reseach before booking.
knows what you mean.
Don't let it take the joy out of it for you. He's like your 6th grade comp instructor. (It's not that he doesn't enjoy the humor and he's totally fuckable, but he just can't leave that kind of thing alone.)
...that auto-corrected "Hester" into "Heather".
I found TER when i was going to vegas on a business trip. I can say i have always had good luck when i do my reserach in advance. Damn sometimes motels do not have data ports and can't hook the laptop up. But i just have to plan in advance
my first wife, damm she was getting cash under the table while i was paying alimony, stupid me
I had a similar experience in Orlando...
I was at a company conference and enjoying the extra day before the conference started and knocking back martini's poolside and watching all the tanned and toned hotties lounging at the pool. When I went back up to my room I was to horny to turn i and grabbed the yellow pages and looked up escort services. I called a couple and they all quoted $600 to $800 for outcall. I eventually called one service who said the outcall rate was $170 and "all-inclusive".
They said a girl could be over in an hour or two. When she showed up around 4 hours later at 10 PM, I had already started to empty out the liquor in the honor bar. I opened the door and first noticed she was tall and gangly with long stringy hair and enough cheap perfume to choke a pig. I was pretty ripped and still horny as hell so I told her to come on in...then she smiled. And her teeth looked like a Hee Haw nightmare. I decided no BJ, covered or not (little did I know then that I did't have that choice).
She says she needs to make a phone call and I went to use the bathroom. She knocks on the bathroom door and says she needs to get ready and I should get comfortable while she changes. I of course strip down and lay naked on the bed. She comes out of the bathroom wearing a red thong and bra, and the first thing I notice is her chest is maybe a 30b at most. Okay, no problem I'm not a big tits guy anyway. She sits on the bed next to me and asks about the $170, I pointed to an envelope on the night stand beteween the beds, which she picks up and counts it out onto the nightstand bill by bill. She asks if I would like to start with a massage and I said yes and rolled onto my front. She proceeds to give a lame massage and rubbed my butt and legs...ad then came the upsells. She asked if I wanted her to taked her bra off and get closer. Sure I do. That's $50 more. Either too druk or too stupid I said okay. She takes off the bra and starts rubbing her tits on my back and neck and then asks if I want her to take off her thong. Sure and it cost another $50, I was so horny at this point I didn't care. She stripped out the thong and straddled my legs and seductively rubbed herself over my legs and back. I rolled over and she asked me if I wanted to be "relieved". That was going to be $100. Okay, I am in this for $370 so far...o too bad. Although as she explained next $100 is for HJ, if I wanted anything else it is NOT offered. I told her forget it for a hundred bucks I can whack off. She gets up and says time is finished and she has to go, she asks to use the phone. I tell her no. She whines about how she has to call and check in after. I told her there is a pay phone in the lobby.
It took me forever to wash off that smell of cheap perfume.
caveat emptor, eh?
You get what you pay for and don't check out beforehand on TER.
it's starting to sound like the yellow pages are the source of misery. don't order a provider from the yellow pages!
my second provider experience was even worse (in my mind)... i was house-sitting for a friend back in the late 80s and was bored... drunk... alone... so i grabbed the yellow pages and called.
the girl who showed up about 2 hours after wasn't bad looking, but was shifty, constantly looking around. i paid her, and was expecting some fun to start, but she just sat there, looking around.
she spotted my friend's video camera sitting unplugged innocuously on a tripod in the corner of the living room and totally freaked out. she stormed out with my $$.
the next day she called, all upset and saying that she'd call the cops or some shit and asking what i could do to make her feel better. attempted extortion!
all i got from that call was a con job.
remember kids, use ter or pay the price!