During the past few months I've been seeing a lady regularly. This is something of a first for me and now I'm wondering if I'm being accorded the benefits of regular status, or being taken advantage of. I'd appreciate it if both the guys and ladies could weigh in on this. Here are some details on my situation:
I've been seeing this lady for four months. One a week, every week. Sometimes more. The sessions are always 1.5 hours, or more. The lady tells me I'm her only weekly regular. I'm an easy client, or so says this lady. I don't need greek, or any language, just normal stuff. I generally ask for one cup. I'm also not a orge looks-wise, being middle-aged and gym-buff. I'm located in Manhattan, if that matters. So here's what happened:
I booked 1.5 hours with the lady last week, incall. I spent a grand total of 1.75 hours, from knock at the door until I left. A half-hour of that was her asking me my opinions about issues in her life -- no action whatsoever. She had just raised her rate from a spring special ($200/hr), which I'd been paying beforehand. Her new rate was $250/hr. I left her $350 figuring that would cover it. Wrong.
Two minutes after I left my cell phone rang and the lady was steamed that I shorted her $25. The rate is $375 for 1.5 hours. I told her I didn't expect to be paying retail at this point. She said she wasn't charging me for the "extra half hour"! Also, she wants that $25 in no uncertain terms next week.
I said okay, not being one to quibble over $25.
Obviously I need to have a talk wit this lady about this. But WHAT should I be asking for? A 1.5 hour session for the price of 1 hour? A two hour session for the price of 1.5? My approach is to ask for more time, rather than ask the lady to lower her rate. Or, maybe this lady is a little too greedy or petty and I should look for another regular. WHAT do you guys get for "discounts" from your weekly regulars? Ladies, what benefits do you offer your regulars like me?
you are a regular and she still raised your rate...move on.
Think she is too greedy, I am a regular once a month with one lady for two years, and at every rate hike I am one step behind. Started at 200 and she raised to 250 kept me at 200. Recently raised to 300 and kept me at 250 and she does that with a couple other guys too (regulars) I too would move on
If it is true that you are her only weekly regular, she should have given you the old rate of $300. Your gesture to add $50 was nice. Four months of seeing her every week means you gave her $1200 x 4 ? Well, for $25 .. She does not know what she's losin. If she thought you misinterpreted her rate, she should not be 'steaming' at you. A civilized talk should resolve it, since she's known you for 4 months. But, I guess you need to really talk if you have decided to continue seeing her. Otherwise, just move on.
-- Modified on 6/15/2004 9:33:18 AM
Dude: NYC, San Francisco, Anytown, it doesn't matter -NO WAY you should be charged the new, higher rate. If anything, you should be getting extra time and/or a discounted rate.
With your regularity, you are easy money. This lady is inordinately greedy.
If she's willing to lose over $1000 a month and a solid, nice client for $25 she needs to get over herself. Unbelievable.
she doesn't watch the clock and you don't watch the money.
You're a regular when there's so much sex you're relieved to have a half hour to give her advice.
You're a regular when you ask her if she's got enough money.
You're a regular when she gives you freebies without you asking.
You're a regular when she says, "Honeee...there's this pair of shoes I really like," and you say, "Great! Let's go get them!" and you hop in a cab to Prada. And she gives you a BJ in the cab on the way down.
It works both ways, it works both ways, but not over 25 bucks.
Get outta there!
-- Modified on 6/15/2004 10:14:19 AM
If you see a lady on a regularly scheduled basis, you are a regular. Wheather she treats you special or not is a totally different story.
-- Modified on 6/15/2004 10:35:30 AM
Run don't walk , find another regular that appreciates you more.
Plenty of ladies will treat you right as a regular to deal with her greed.
As long as you tried to talk with her about it and made sure it wasn't a simple misunderstanding first. As I see it she never made you aware of the rate changes BEFORE your appointment she has no business comming after you afterwards.
Make an appointment giver her the $25 dollars and let her know how pety and greedy she seemed, and ask if she treats all regulars that way and peacefully walk out the door.
-- Modified on 6/15/2004 10:35:52 AM
From the sounds of the interaction between the two of you, NO!
She does not seem to be giving and you do not seem to want to give. Why would you short her $25 to start with?
Move on
I really shouldn't, since I do believe gifts are exactly that and not a bribe or deposit against future services. Still, shouldn't they earn a regular some consideration -- if only psychic, in some non-tangible form? Anyway, the thing I would like to add is this:
I said in my first post that I'm a no-hassle client. The one aspect in which I may be different than most is that I don't finish as fast as some guys. I like to take my time and stroke away, albeit it slowly & gently, for 10-12 minutes before unloading. I don't know. Is keeping up with me for 10 minutes or so SUCH extraordinary service? Maybe this lady thinks I'm a pain in the arse because I don't shoot in 3 minutes flat. Then again, it's not like I ask for 2 cups a session this way. I'm just trying to give the lady every benefit of the doubt -- since the consensus seems to be that I should ditch her.
Big mistake!Gifts are for SO only, cash are what you give providers.
The lady I had been seeing bi-weekly for about 7 months called one afternoon and said I shorted her $50 on a 1.5 hour appointment. I normally drop about $350 on such a date. The price had always been acceptable, until she ran into some "money problems" and raised her rates by about $75 across the board. I didn't find this little fact out until she told me during the phone call. Her comment was "well, I made the change on my website, you should have known!". Yea, like I make it my life to keep track your professional life? Right.
Called her, arranged a meeting at her place. Gave her the $50 and asked to use the phone. Booked a two hour appt with dinner on the spot with another provider while she listened in.
Headed for the door and said:
"By the way, that date would have normally been your's. Hope you enjoy the $50."
As I closed the door, the sounds of breaking glass against the door frame could be heard over the screaming of various invectives.
As they say, revenge is a dish best served cold and as a suprise.
(hehehe)
I liked that........it was even beter than what I did.
but my bottom line is 'move on'.
I can't access my site to update the information, so it has to stay. Otherwise, it would show a different email address, different contact form routing, and a different rate for 2 hours. Even if I could change it to reflect the new rates, anyone that I have ALREADY seen, regardless of whether they are 'regulars' or NOT, would be grandfathered in at the old rates.
Different people have different definitions of what makes one a regular, but most certainly, I would view someone that I saw every week as a regular! And regulars get special rates. Period.
I think people make mistakes when they begin to 'expect' certain things. And both genders fall into this, inside and outside the Hobby. Sometimes ladies 'expect' gifts. That's absurd - it isn't a gift if it's EXPECTED! And likewise, if I choose to make the entertainment time (shows, meals, etc.) either off the clock, or at an even greater discount, that's my CHOICE, but don't EXPECT it.
You're right Sedona, "expectations" are a slippery slope. Gifts are just that -- gifts. And I don't disparage the lady to set her rates as she chooses -- it IS after all, HER business. Just as it's my right to choose who I'll spend my time and $$$ with.
But, wanted to mention it anyway because I see it all the time..
And that's exactly right. She can operate her business any way she likes - make good or poor choices and decisions. And you can certainly make choices too.
At least, that's one of the beauties of this kind of relationship.
I have seen one lady each time I went to a certain city. Maybe 3 to 5 times a year. She spent extra time and gave me a discount to boot. If I were you I would follow everyones advice and ditch this lady. She is not worth the agrevation and the trouble. I think I would either give or send her the $50 not sure which but I would make sure that she got it and understood that it was the last $50 that she would get from me.
My regular gave me a $50. American Express gift certificate for my birthday. Next week after our playtime, she is taking me out to dinner and she say's that dessert is on her afterwards.
You are not appreciated by this woman. Get another regular, there are plenty to choose from and one's that know how to treat a regular, especially one like you.
but try not to fall into negativity over it.
Thank her for her past companionship, then find someone who will appreciate you.
and no, I wouldn't try to straighten it out with her, just dump her. Only then will she get the message.
Get out of Dodge ASAP. It's not just the $25 but the principle of the thing.
Guys, while MOST providers don't nickel and dime you, MANY do. It's always about the "benjamins"... don't be suckered into thinking that you are special somehow. It's about trading time for money nothing more. There is an implied contract that when you accept a date you "promise" to pay the desired fee. As I have said in many previous posts. This is their business first and last. If you forge a special bond with a provider, that's fine, but don't be a sucker, fall in love, expect special treatment... there is a PRICE and a PAYMENT to everything in life, don't buck this trend with your ideas of romance and great $ex. Drop in, pay the fee have a beer then go home.
You are not appreciated as a regular.
Why would you put up with this attitude?
Send her the $25 with a little note explaining that it has been fun but we guys like to be appreciated too.
This lady needs to learn some business skills.
Didn't it say the $200 rate was a spring special? That means that her regular rate was suspended while the special was going on. Do you go into Target and ask for last week's sale price on a garden hose?
Now I wouldn't quibble about $25 but her special is over and she should be paid her regular rates.
The consensus of this and other boards is that regulars, particularly a frequent regular, almost never pays the same rate as a first-time customer.