I always have to learn the hard way, mainly because my ego dictates it. I am a forty something man that felt that having a mistress was a great escape. HELL NO. Oh the drama and the continual prodding to see if they could get me.to leave my wife. One was 17 years younger and the other 13 years younger, both started out the same; they loved being the other woman. In the beginning it was all fun and excitement, but as time passed, it all changed to drama. Each lasted about 2 years and both had to be ended.

When I was married, I only dated married ladies figuring that they really didn't wanna "fall in love w/me," and start talking 2 divorces.

I love the escape/sex/dating/fantasy ....this is why I joined the hobby world...less drama, no strings, don't even know my real name. It is PERFECT for an escape..this is what makes this hobby valuable.

...I remember when I first was toying around with the idea of being a sugar momma. Seemed like a great way to have my cake and eat it to, so to speak (heh heh). But what started out as good fun turned into a "Fatal Attraction" deal. It often happens that in an arrangement like that one side will begin start developing stronger feelings than the other, or the SB will become complacent and begin to take her SM/SD for granted. I gave up on the idea and now stick with renting rather than owning (sorry for that terrible analogy!)

I simply consider both SB's and providers "rentals" with hookers being very short term rentals and SB's rentals for a slightly longer period of time.

for a specific block of time, and all obligation ends when you have paid and walked out the door.

if you're going to have a mistress, make sure she has as much to lose as you do.

Lesson being...single or married, mistresees dont work! 😅

Much truth to the old saw ... I don't pay them (only) for sex, I pay them to go away.

Several years ago after ending a 15 year affair, I discovered TER and other hobbying sites. It was as if I had died and gone to heaven. No drama, no more guilt, no emotional attachments, no demands that I leave my wife and family, no more trying to sneak away for vacations, no more catching hell after the holidays for not calling. The hobby made it possible for me to indulge my need to see other women without sacrificing what was otherwise a great marriage. It literally saved my marriage. SB and SA are almost as bad as an affair and equally as risky.

Amen!!

Each and every single one of them. I never wanted any of them to leave their wives. Why?? I got gifts, money, things taken care of and some sex and then they went home lol. Why f*ck that up????!! I enjoyed the company and the arrangement. I only had one at a time but I remember when one of them had his wife go out of town. He had dinner and went back to his place for fun and a sleep over. I liked the dinners, conversations, hot sex and I loved how just sitting by one made him hard. It make me feel great and I actually started becoming very attracted to married men. As a provider, I went through a phase where seeing a band on a client's finger made me very hot and I gave it to him extra good lol I never set out to ruin a relationship. Please! That's stupid. I saw two crime shows, one where a married man paid for his mistress's home, gym membership and took care of her and she begged him to leave his wife and he ended up killing his wife! He's in jail for the rest of his life. Another married guy wanted to kill his wife because his mistress begged him to and he ended up dead when the hit man killed both him and his wife. The girlfriend went to jail also but this man had bought her a house, two cars, paid for every freaking thing! I mean WTF!!! I would have been the forever grateful mistress with an arrangement like that! I did not have it that good but I just was content being the side piece. I knew my place and what was going on. No issues from me at all. All of them told me they loved me and fell in love with me. I told them I hope that means more sex then lol.