I'll distance myself from ALL preachers RIGHT NOW.  Shit, I'll eliminate non-profit status.  If you can't make a profit, God is trying to tell you something.  Something like, "get a job!"  You can be just as crazy as you want, just not tax-exempt because of it.

And because the war is over, I can bring the troops home.  Vets for Freedom told us so.  Obviously, that means we can stop sending money to Iraq.  If they want something, all they have to do is call.  We have a whole nuclear arsenal we can send them in about 20 minutes.   Then we can sell Corning the rights to the place.

Get this fellows:  soldiers and sailors are not social workers.  You want to nation build, you send McDonalds or somebody.  You want to make dust out of something, you send the 6th Fleet.  Figure it out, and just make up your mind - do you want it big, or do you want it small?

And no gay marriage.  I'm not against gays - I'm just against marriage.   And I don't think disadvantaged minorities should have this dumped on them without informed consent.   My Marital Freedom Act will require all marriages need full disclosure of all credit, criminal, and psychiatric histories of all persons related in the 1st degree AND ALSO a 20 year cooling off period.

And don't mistreat the hired help.  You can pay Jesus anything he'll work for, but don't be complaining that he smells like half of minimum wage.  That's because you pay him half of minimum wage, asshole.   Don't be mocking my dishwasher because that's all he can do.  That's his place, and leave him alone unless you want him to fuck with you like you fuck with him.  Don't be complaining that somebody comes to your job.  That's what you hired him to do.

Vote for Willie!  He'll leave you the fuck alone!  And you damn well better leave him the fuck alone unless your tab is current!