In the past few years, the "hobby" had started to feel like a "real job" to me, where the only enjoyment was the envelope, and with the falling economy, and recently turning 40, I felt like it was time to call it quits. These were the only reasons until a man I met some 11 yrs ago came back into m life. He wanted a commitment I couldnt give, but am now ready for. Things happen for a reason, and I cant believe it was just happenstance.  I am converting to Judaism and marrying an Orthodox Jewish man in San Diego. Sometimes "pretty woman" stories do come true (Did I mention I will never worry about money again?)  It will be a long ardurous process (conversion) but worth it for my sanity and spiritual well being. While I champion Christianity, I make a better Jew. I wish everyone happiness, even my "enemies" on this board. Good luck and happiness to all of you.
SJ