Works sucks and I can't concentrate. Someone tell me a funny story please....
One time at band camp....
Long story short, BBBJNQNS...and then I let out a MASSIVE belch. Client and I could not stop laughing.
Sounds like a magical evening
Now that does sound funny 
Masssive turn off.....burping and off the bucket list you go......
It's funny now. Not so funny then.
This happened in 1981.
I used to go to summer camp. When you were 15, you could apply to be a junior counselor and I did. The year before, there was a counselor named Paige who was about eighteen months older than me. She was pretty, but she hadn't developed, and she was a major pain in the ass attitude-wise.
Well, as part of the JC training program, there was a three-day orientation and training course. I showed up early and saw her name on the list of trainers and groaned.
I'm waiting around and Paige comes up from behind and calls my name. I turned around and saw her. She was still pretty, but she had developed. We talked a bit. She really seemed nicer to me.
Fast forward to the second day. A thunderstorm postponed the classes at the pool. Mock drowning rescue and CPR and stuff. The following day, Paige was my "drowning victim." She had on her bathing suit and she looked damn good.
Okay. I was raised in a home where sex was never discussed, and the school's idea of sex education was two anatomy charts on a wall. Well, my hormones kicked in during the rescue. CPR was too close to kissing, and kissing was too close to sex, and I got an erection. My swim trunks had pockets and I tried to hold myself down and perform the drills. I panicked and ran off to the bathroom and told the head counselor I ate something bad.
I hid in there for a long time and when I finally went down, the class was over. I was freaking about having to tell my parents what had happened. Another counselor told me Paige wanted to see me at the female staff cabin, and I was freaking again.
Fast forward: I tried my damnedest to explain. Paige wasn't angry. Just disappointed. Finally she said that after camp the previous year, the head counselor gave her a lecture about her attitude and gave her another chance. And she said that he had given her permission to check me off on the drowning rescue and CPR class in private. She said if I got an erection to ignore it. Of course I did, but I passed the class.
Paige led me back to her cabin, which was deserted, and she asked me if I'd ever been with a girl. I nervously shook my head.
Long story short, we had sex. I don't know where the hell she learned what she did, but WOW! I was so nervous and didn't know what the hell I was doing at all, but it was fun. We did it maybe nine or so times over the summer. One time, we actually got caught by another counselor when we were in the woods, but he was cool about it and didn't report us.
-- Modified on 3/1/2013 10:48:38 PM
Why in the hell would you have to tell your parents that you got a boner at summer camp?
See, I was raised in a fairly strict Catholic home. I was thinking about making up a story, but mom was pretty good at knowing when I was lying and wouldn't have approved, and I knew I would have to tell father about it in confession.
So...
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why you don't punish your children for involuntary bodily functions.
To me, forcing you to discuss your erections with a clergyman = punishment.
Maybe I have a different perspective because my parents strongly believed in comprehensive sex education from an early age, but to me it seems like drastic overkill to expect you to talk about your summer camp hard-on at confession.
You really should've been clearer, Tobi.
I've confessed a lot of things to a priest, but that wasn't one of them. I wasn't ashamed of what happened and I'm still not. I don't believe I committed any kind of sin, and my sex life is no one's business but mine.
Okay let me break it down for you:
I don't know why you feel the need to reiterate to me that you didn't commit any kind of sin/it's no one's business but your own, though. You're preaching to the choir on that one.
I would've felt guilty about making up a story to tell my parents and embarrassed to tell them the truth. Like I said, sex was just never discussed in our home and sex education at school was practically non-existent.
No funny tory necessary...you and cinciguy are amusing enough!
Funny. Really funny. 
I'm only guessing you weren't raised Catholic. I'm glad you got proper sex education. I suppose my lack of it was due to the era in which my parents were raised and in which I was raised.
Here's a relatively concise explanation of venial sin and mortal sin:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venial_sin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mortal_sin#Catholicism
Yeah, it's Wikipedia, but that should give you a decent idea of where I'm coming from.
Better yet, go get a copy of the book Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up? If that doesn't help you understand where he's coming from, nothing will. Not saying it's right or wrong. Just a very different cultural mindset. It's hard to realize how much things have changed since the 50s and 60s.
CG, how many pagan babies did you buy? (I'm making the assumption that you went to parochial school, obviously).
I'm only guessing you weren't raised Catholic. I'm glad you got proper sex education. I suppose my lack of it was due to the era in which my parents were raised and in which I was raised.
Here's a relatively concise explanation of venial sin and mortal sin:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venial_sin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mortal_sin#Catholicism
Yeah, it's Wikipedia, but that should give you a decent idea of where I'm coming from.
I know what you're talking about though. The answer is no.
-- Modified on 3/2/2013 3:43:49 PM
Actually, I went to Catholic school for grades 1-6, and my mom is a pretty devout Catholic (albeit a liberal one). I'm fully aware of the doctrine. My comments had nothing to do with Catholicism. In any event, I give up trying to explain. MOVING ON.
This thread certainly got derailed, huh?
That's ok, I understand where you're coming from, but I also understand CG's comments. Guessing we're of similar age. Moving on is prolly the right thing to do.
* stir stir stir *
You must be extremely bored.
Tobi, I hope you realize I'm just busting your chops a little.
lost virinity to a walmart maniquin behind a dumpster.....drinking a 40 in a bag,,,,,she was missing an arm
But did she still have a head?
So...you're into amputees? Cool, cool.
Which Walmart? She still work there?
That's better than mine, I thought I lost it but because I was nervous I stuck it between her thighs and went to town, felt great for all of 2 minutes then she asked if I liked that and I said of course. She said well if you loved fucking my thighs you are going to go crazy once you get in my vagina. I was quite embarrassed...
Don't get me wrong. It's funny. But I'm still calling foul.
I have a good story to tell.
I lost my virginity on my wedding night.
The end.
LOL! 
I was engaged once. Then the girl I was going to marry got pregnant and after months of thinking I was going to be a dad, the kid was born and he looked like her first cousin. They admitted they'd had a one-night stand.
Needless to say, I dumped her immediately.
Oh... Two can play that game.
Mmmmm Jenna....