Ok so yesterday I make an appointment with a provider who is visiting town this week. We go back and forth by email a few times and she gets back with me to confirm after saying one of my references gave her the all clear on me.
Keep in mind this provider has been reviewed on TER and they have all been positive, except one that did mention some unprofessionalism with scheduling.
So I get excited about meeting, get ready at home, and head out to the hotel. Well that was all a waste of my time.
I get to the hotel and call and there is no anwser. She does call back though about 5 minutes after the agreed appointment time. She tells me she will call me back shortly with the room number. Keep in mind all email and phone conversation was very pleasent, no indication of anything sketchy. I was afraid that I would be waiting for another 15 minutes though and was a bit miffed at this all too common occurence with these meetings. Was happy when she called back a few minutes later, but then it went to hell.
Instead of giving me the room number she proceeds to tell me that she wanted to go to the hotel resturant as she had never been there before. I was very taken off guard by this and could not hide my apprehension at that suggestion. Its just nothing I have ever gotten from a provider before. She really didn't budge when I showed no interest in that. I didn't want to tell her what I was thinking, that I thought I might be in a sitaution where I was going to be taken for a ride. I didn't want to have to go pay for drinks, I don't even drink, then get back to the room and find that the time at the bar was not free. I mean I know providers don't do stuff like that off the clock now c'mon. I even said that, I said I would be on the clock and she really didn't say anything.
So she suggests we reschedule and after a minute of me relaying to her how frustrating this whole hobby is much too much of the time when it comes to even getting with a girl we said goodbye.
I couldn't really tell what happened, I emailed her back today and will see if she gets back, it will probably be a BS anwser if one is forthcoming at all. I don't know what the problem was, I was verified and everything.
Do you guys think I made the right decision?? I mean I am not naive enough to think she would have went to the bar with me for free, or am I wrong. I mean I really have no reason to be super discreet but I just was taken back at the suggestion to move things from the room. I wasn't in the mood to be taken so I passed on the possibility I guess. Again though she is TER reviewed and the only negatives in the reviews are scheduling, nothing about ripoffs.
At any rate I have really gotten my fill of the BS when it comes to getting together with these girls. It really shouldn't be as tough as it is many times to simply set up a meeting, given the donation factor, I mean really it shouldn't be this tough and frustrating. It boggles my mind to think how much these ladies leave on the table because they are not reachable, they flake out,etc, I mean it has to be in the multi-millions. Things have really become more trouble than they are worth for me since MC went down, they were pretty reliable and things ran smooth on most occasions. I have a ton of disposable income right now but this hobby can be more frustration than it is worth sometimes. that along with the awful lack of local selection around here has me thinking finding a girl outside the hobby for a "special arrangement" type thing would be alot more fun. Then again you have to come upon that happenstance I suppose.
Thanks for listening all....
It can be frustrating for both parties at times, but there are some great ladies out there who are not so frustrating to deal with. Don't give up yet! There is much fun to be had when you do find the right one!!
Good luck!
I'm not all that experienced in the hobby but I've had great experiences in Dayton and Columbus but find that scheduling is more of a problem in Cincinnati. In Dayton and Cincinnati I've never been stood up or had to change an appointment by more than half an hour. I Cincinnati I've been stood up twice with some fairly transparent excuses. Good luck to you. If you find a solution or a lady who defies the norm, let us know.
After all that, I think you did the right thing. Since you have 14 reviews, I would assume you did your research on her before making the date. From your story, I can't figure out what her thinking was, as it looks like you couldn't either. Hope you don't get too discouraged, there are plenty of quality ladies out there, you just have to find them.
Let's face it, if you stay in this hobby long enough, you are gonna have some misfires, the law of averages says you will, hell, we all have, no matter how careful we are. You just move on and hope for better luck next time. In this one's case, I wouldn't bother with her again, just my .02.
Swim
Thanks for the feedback swim. To clarify this provider has 10 TER reviews and that led me to believe all would probably be fine. Interesting thing was she didn't run any ads after that night, she has visited before and usually runs ads each day and her ad this time said she would be here all week. Not sure if something came up or what, perhaps her appointment before mine might have not went well, I have no idea.
You can bet I won't give her another try, she didn't even give me the courtesy of a response to my email to give me an explanation so that is just an added insult.
Thanks for the positive encouragement. I am not going to bemoan things as I have done that in the past, but right about now I am regretting "reading" all those playboy mags when I was 15 years old,lol, the standard that that instilled in me as far as my ideal woman has made hobbying in this area almost a total non-starter, the selection just doesn't do anything for me. Oh well, its damn good for my finances I suppose,gotta find a silver lining somewhere...lol
Do you think I was right to think that the trip to the bar would have probably been a road to misery of some kind. I mean I am not naive enough to expect that to be a trip off the clock, I mean I suppose there could be a chance it would have been but I doubt it. I mean again, I have no need to be super discreet, I am not married and don't care about people getting a glimpse of me with a pretty girl, it just smelled a bit and more than anything caught me off guard. Had that been the original plan and not something sprung on me in the parking lot I might have considered it. Guess I will never know what would have happened but much rather prefer that than a bad experiance I could remember.
Yeah, I agree with your decision not to go to bar, esp if you are not even a drinker. She might have ordered some of those real expensive drinks on your tab, or even worse, gotten totally sloshed and blown you off anyway. Right, you won't know what might have happened, but I also agree with you, you're better off not having the very possible bad experience I think this would have been.
Keep looking and better luck next time. Remember, as I said in my orig post, we all have some bad luck despite our research, shit does happen. IMHO, you came out ahead on this one, in spite of the disappointment and her apparent lack of professionalism. There's plenty more out there.
Swim
As for me (and this is simply my own experience), I've begun making "arrangements" with a couple of select "amateur" providers in my area.
As a so-called middle-aged guy, I've been pleasantly surprised at the number of 21-34 yr old women who need a little "financial assistance" and appreciate a mature, discreet guy who is willing to help them out on a regular basis.
That being said, just as in the "hobby" research is key....as is the willingness to simply walk away if the young lady becomes difficult. Also, frankly, it allows the hobbyist something of a paradigm shift whereby HE does the screening as opposed to the provider potentially "wasting" his time as the previous posts have suggested.
I would suggest a few light-hearted, discreet inquiries with young, attractive women and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the number who take you up on your offer. I currently have a lovely, petite 30 yo woman with whom I've had just such an arrangement for 7 yrs now. Good luck.
I think it would be a whole lot easier, that is once the initial contact and proposal is made, to have fun in the manner you described. Especially if that could be arraged with a couple different girls. I don't know but I am so tired of this almost always fruitless checking on the ad sites for girls, very frustrating.
I just would be very afraid of offending a girl or appearing "creepy" or something if I were to inquire indirectly about willlingness to engage in a relationship of that nature.
Could you share any tips based on your success, I am sure this is one of these things where "some guys have it and others don't" but I would be open to any advice. With how conservative this area is I just can't get the idea out of my head that many land mines would be stepped on before you found success.
I guess I just need to take the plunge at some point,lol,have the cahonies to just up and do it. But again any tips would be appreciated. I think you are defiantly where I want to be tristater,lol.
I have some arrangements like this with 'amateurs'. And it is far better than dealing with some of these unprofessional 'professionals'. I'm fairly certain that I am probably not the only one they have this arrangement with, but they have other jobs and definitely do not advertise services. They work around MY schedule and there is no clock running. We meet somewhere, spend our time together and go back to our lives.