anyone know if you can be"tracked"(during or after the fact)by someone if you have an iphone?
how is it done?how do you disable it?

Or if you give someone else access to your "Find My iPhone" shit.

You're gonna have to give a little more context here, though.

Tobi's spot on.  If you give someone access to your "Find My iPhone" they can track you where ever you go.  There are also a number of aps designed to allow you to track someone else's iPhone (Phone Tracker is one example).  There is also software available that can read your GPS database and see where you've been since it was last reset.  

I used to have a program on my kids phone through AT&T that tracked where they were. Can't recall what it was called however, AT&T can do it or maybe it can be done online. Hit up there website and look around.
Good luck!

have the ablility to track where iam or where i have been,with me owning an phone(do they need
to"instal"something on the phone,do they need to phyiscally have the phone to pull this info off of it
and how can i protect me self)
i.e.how do i stop anyone from tracking me down because i have an iphone(lol!)

I believe you have to disable it and I think there is a way. I had a client that had one, but when he had it on his wife would would know where he was...so he disabled it.

I'm 90% sure that you'd need to have that kind of program installed AND that she'd need to have access to it in order to track your whereabouts.

What makes you think that she's tracking you anyway?