Newbie - FAQ

fears of a newbie
shyguyhere 3920 reads
posted

Here I sit, never before using a provider, with all kinds of excitment going through my mind. As I E-mial my first provider I'm thinking, "I wonder if I'm sending this to a LE agent on the other end?" "Do I use my real name or fake name, after all I'm married, I don't want my wife to find out. I'm only reason I'm using a provider is to keep it safe from the family. & OMG LOOK, the provider wants a picture of me first..Shit!@ Is that standard, or is it LE.
 Can't I just meet the provider sometime for coffee or cocktails to get to know eachother?
Do providers perfer newbies or not?
The outcall thing seems the safe way to go. I don't think LE would persue the outcall as much as AMPs. Right??  Lets face it, after reading the legal section on this form I'm scared @hitless.
Any advice from the fan club?  

-- Modified on 12/17/2006 2:56:32 AM

Wow!! It sounds like this provider is causing you way too much stress already, so I can imagine the actual session would probably give you a stroke... I suggest you find another provider that you feel more comfortable with in your initial contact. Try to relax.. The important thing is we all have fun and nobody gets hurt..

Find another lady - not because the one you have chosen is bad in any way, but not recommendeded to start out with someone you have to send a pic to...and... reconsider incall - ladies, particularly the indies, are much more comfortable with incall as they have more control over the session.

RepeatOffender1929 reads

Most any of the horror stories you speak of can be avoided by simply focusing on well reviewed providers.

 The Coppers have little time nor inclination to construct long credible decoys to entrap hobbyists.

 Be polite and not overly graphic in your e-mails. Don't be overly specific as to services or monetary exchanges for said and you'll not only put the provider at ease; but you'll give your biggest fear nothing to indict with.    

So many questions!!!

1)  NO!!!  It is not standard to request a photo of a potential client.  In my 15+ years of hobbying, I've never been asked for this, and even though I am single, and have no children, I'd don't think I'd be sending her my picture.

2)  Real/fake name?  It's up to you.  Personally, I always use my real name, it just makes things easier.  More than likely, sometime you will have to give a lady your real name.

3)  Can you meet a lady for coffee or cocktails?  Of course, but you have to pay for her time.  Some ladies offer a reduced rate for non-sexual meet-and-greets.  There are some that even require such a visit before a sexual encounter.

4)  Outcall vs. Incall?  If you are worried about LE, yes, outcall is a bit safer, but remember, you are far more likely to be caught by your wife than LE.  Inviting a lady to your matrimonial home is not a good idea.  Yes you can book a hotel room for the visit, but be sure your wife couldn't possiby see the statement.

5)  AMPs?!?  Some say ths stands for "Arrest me please."  I know alot of guys have fun in AMPs, but I wouldn't recommend them.  A storefront where sex might be on offer is simply asking for trouble.  I said "might" because in my experience, AMP's don't always offer full service, and when they do, it can be quite expensive.  You are better off finding a well reviewed provider who has an incall location.

I hope this help,

jazz32

You won't get caught by LE for the same reason that you won't win Mega-bucks.

There are millions of us out there doing this every day.  I don't know if anyone has figured the odds of getting caught, but it's easily in the rarified stage.

Just follow the good advice given on this board and you will be fine.

Also, everyone is as nervous as virgin their first time, but you'll get over it.  Just hew to the rules and don't get over confident.

Also remember that the threat of discovery on the home front looms much larger than the LE side of things.  That's where the effort to prevent discovery should be placed.

You have alot of questions, so lets take them one at a time....

1. Is it normal for her to ask for a pic?? NO! I have never asked a man for a pic. I have had a few (not too bright apparently) men offer to send me a pic, and some who sent without asking. My response: Do you want your pic to be found on my harddrive? Probalby not. If she is asking for a pic that doesn't necessarily mean that you are in contact with LE, but its not a good sign either. Move on down your list of ladies you'd love to love.

2. Real name or fake name? REAL NAME please. You are faced with the challenge of meeting a provider for the first time without the benefit of referrences. If you want to see a quality provider (and you do) - ie one that is well reviewed and who takes care to screen - the only thing you have to offer her in the way of safety is your honesty. Provide her with the information she needs in order to feel comfortable meeting you. If you have done your homework and selected a lady with a long history of excellent reviews, your worries about sharing your information should be minimal.

3. Outcall versus incall? Several points to ponder here. First, if you meet a lady who is willing to outcall to you even though you don't have any referrences, she is probably not a good choice. Most ladies like myself are FAR more reluctant to outcall to someone who is not thoroughly screened - ie referrences from providers we know and trust, or to someone we have already met before. Secondly, outcall means either having a provider come to your home - an entirely new set of risks, or booking a hotel which also carries with it a variety of risks. With either option, your chances of being caught are increased. Will the neighbors notice a car in your driveway and be curious? Will your wife see the charge on your CC for the hotel?

4. Will she meet your for drinks? Probably, but realize she is "on the clock" and be prepared to compensate her accordingly.

5. AMP's......stay AWAY. It is far better to look for an independet lady.

My suggestion is to relax, take your time and do your homework carefully before contacting a lady. When you do decide you've found the right lady, contact her by e-mail or according to the instructions on her site. Be honest and up front that you are new to the hobby, and be willing to provide her with the information she asks for. Good luck and try to remember to have some fun too. That IS the goal here.

Keep track. News of LE busts appear there quite rapidly. Pick several different providers, so you won't freak out when one of them doesn't work. I've always used my real name, even when I was married. I wouldn't send a pic to a provider, I doubt it's LE, it's just not normal. You need normal for the first time. Try to not get in a big rush to meet someone, it took me awhile the first time too. If you see a well reviewed provider (10 reviews, mostly from different reviewers), the chances it's LE are very slim. Best of luck!!

shyguyhere1919 reads

T/Y to all for your help and info. I'm really not freaking out too much, I was actually laughing when I typed my fears, just pictureing one of you calling the ambalance for me. Love the form and type at ya soon.

I've been busted once, back in 1976.
I've never been asked to send a lady a photo.
I've met hundreds of wonderful women.
Incall has been my primary venue though after I get comfortable with a lady I may invite her to my place.
I still get "butterflies" when meeting someone for the first time.

I hope this sets you more at ease, the odds really are in your favor of having a good time out there if you stick to the well reviewed ladies who have stellar reviews from credible reviewers.

Historically speaking the ladies I've found who ask for your photo are either new to the business or very young, both of which may provide you with a less than glorious experience.  Stick with the winners.

ML out

*Nacho Papi*1862 reads

What Martin Luther said! Go have fun! I'm in the hobby like ML many years but no bust for me except the perfect natural kind. LOL
Tra out

ML- Do you mind if we ask what went wrong that one time so we don't suffer the same fate?

All good advice above.  Best is to NOT RUSH into making a decision.  Take your time, find several ladies you would like to spend time with, and then see whose schedule and screening requirements best fit.  Enjoy and be sure to write a review.

We were all newbies once.  Maybe the lady was just testing you to see if you are who you say you are.  As far as meeting first, the ladies time is valuable.  I would be more scared if she didn't screen you very well.  Keep in mind, once you have seen a well review lady it will become easier because you will have references.  And, as the others have said, I much prefer incall because she will be more relaxed and will be able to show you a really good time.

“The Hobby”...…(*which is what you are considering embarking upon*) is about mature, consulting adults enjoying a quick diversion from their normal routine.

Use the search tab and read a few suggestions on behaviors to try and mimic as well as a few you definitely want to avoid. Enough can’t be stressed on finding a provider you feel not only safe with but comfortable as well.

Here is the good news...… there are established providers who are professional… they ensure that while you might be new to the hobby they will help keep you from endangering your family, your friends, your career or your lifestyle in general. Taking the tine to find a reputable provider will definitely pay off in the long run as you will feel great about walking away with no worries of ramifications.

Lastly, if you haven’t heard it yet let me reiterate one of my favorite words to the wise:
A professional provider doesn’t get paid to have sex with you, she is paid to leave after you have been thrilled beyond belief.

Having said that please remember the implication of the statement...… we leave, we protect you, we conceal the facts leading up to and after our encounter. (*That is, after all why we are called professionals*)

Stick with TER, research the providers who attract your attention and use b/c (*back channel- sending private messages to other gentlemen in the hobby*)  Lastly, never agree to meet with a provider until you have both obtained a level of comfort that gives you the confidence to meet with no concerns. This will ensure the best possible experience and a positive encounter for your time & money invested.

Happy Hobbying……
Know your provider (*and her reputation*)  Kisses ~Tori

Listen to this woman and you won't go wrong.
We are lucky to have her here in our city.


Relax. By coming to the TER Boards you are taking the best possible first step. I would definitley choose an independent provider (one who is well reviwed) for your first time. I have been a hobyist for three years, and have never been asked for a picture. I will give my real name and work phone number for verification..but its a real judgement call. You have to decide if you are comfortable enough with the provider (and you are only basing this on her reviews)  to give her personal information. Use your gut instinct and you will prob. be fine. Have fun and good luck

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