For several reasons I prefer providers who do outcall and are willing to come to my place. I live in LA, I'm single, beautiful and brainy man, 40, a cosmopolitan intellectual, very demanding, living in a nice and easy to find neighborood, nice apt in a cool and safety building, but I do not have car, I do not like to drive, I use bus to go to work, or taxi if something urgent is in plan; so far I got the sense that hotel-like rendezvous looks to me just not what a rendezvous should be; that's more business than anything else - Analogy: a library is the place wer you do research, read and enjoy the environment that make you confortable thinking and writing, so a private space is the place were you meet the lady you enjoy spending your time, chatting around a good glass of wine, and then moving to the chambers of love, where candles and good erotic sound made the transition to action the spicy factors. That's my view of a rendezvous.
However, as a newbie there is some resistance, doubts and so forth and I'm of course aware of the trouble that a provideres can have to come to an unfamiliar place. Thus, I'm struggling to make providers confortable to such scenario, and narrowing down the list of providers who do outcall to private place...
So the questions is ladies and gentleman: what did you think a newbie should do to make providers confortable to the idea of making outcall to your private place (apt), in terms of security, level of comfort, safety net, and so forth...once all the screening is done? What things make providers confortable such that they have not doubts to come to my place?
"I live in LA, I'm single, beautiful and brainy man, 40, a cosmopolitan intellectual, very demanding, living in a nice and easy to find neighborood, nice apt in a cool and safety . . ."
Sometimes i marvel at the thing people write on this board. Were you being facetious? Are you in therapy? Do you have a little wee-wee? Somehow I missed the news flash that God's gift to women was living in LA. You're a John. Women don't care about that shit. Be respectful and clean. That's what they care about. They don't care whether you're 160 or 320.
You should probably suck it up and do a few in-calls to establish some solid references. Once you have those, it will be easier to persuade providers to do an outcall to your pad. A lot are going to blow you off if you have no references, and you don't want to deal with women who don't care about that.
So you may need to put the fantasy on hold while you establish yourself as a hobbyist. The main thing that makes providers comfortable are rock-solid references. Good luck.
-- Modified on 1/10/2009 1:19:48 AM
It is suppose that on TER "everything contained here is fiction and is for your entertainment and amusement only"...
and of course I'a John:
)
Thanks for the advices...
Agreed do the incall but also join a screning service like Date-check or perferred 411. With your employment verified, it easier for a provider to take you on
Great advice 3b's3m's22...It's amazing to me how some guys think the ladies owe them an appointment and they don't have to be the one's who bend!!
... they have quite a safety net already. They know who you are and where you live. This means that you can't do something stupid anonymously while doing incall and then expect to vanish.
The other side of that coin is a bit more problematic though. While most providers with multiple reviews on TER etc are probably trustworthy enough to have come to your place, just bear in mind that opening your home for 'inspection' to someone who MIGHT have a boyfriend that will be back when you are at work to clean the place out. Farfetched? Perhaps, but it has happened.
Since you are single, there is no spouse for someone to threaten to expose your tryst(s) to in blackmail, but what about your profession? Anyone in your home for 5 minutes COULD have enough info about you to find your employment. Assuming you don't hold a job involving 'public trust' you are probably good to go then. Just things to think about.
MVR
Read the reviews and find providers who visit residence. With reputable providers, you should not have any problems.
Do a little research in the choosing, give her whatever screening into she needs to be comfortable coming to your house.
Lots of ladies in LA do outcall to homes, to many it is preferable then a hotel. I know it is for me when i do them. I go to homes for my LA local guys more then hotels.
Then just make sure you don't have any dirty "manties" on the floor and have the dog put away in the spare room, then rest is easy. Think of it like any other "date" when you end up back at your place.
Good luck and have fun!
Jenny
Also, I agree about the dog part. I absolutely love animals and have one so usually it's not a problem for me. However, if I'm wearing black pants or a dress, I do not want a dog jumping all over me.
Another very good point to consider: If you provide your apartment/home/condo for Outcall, then please make sure there is a cloth for her to clean herself up with afterward, toilet paper on the holder and a clean environment. There is nothing more disgusting than to walk into a dirty place, especially the bathroom.
Hugs,
Ciara
Some girls will do out calls to residences and some won't. Trying to convince a lady to do something that is beyond her comfort level is, in my opinion, not very gentlemanly and in most cases a waste of time. Stick with ladies that do out calls to a private residence.
It's your money and you are of course entitled to hobby in any way that you like but you are going to have to choose women who agree to your set of conditions. Trust me they don't care how beautiful you are or how nice your place is. It's really not about your looks, your IQ, your likes and dislikes or about her getting lost on the way to the out call.
Most will bring a driver for your first meeting. It serves as a security blanket for her just in case you are Jeffrey Dahmer who wants to eat more than her pussy
It's amazing to me how so many man here I have no room for thinking a slice more than the "business as usual..."
As newbie is all about bending...LOL
As I said the focus of my question is what strategic advice newbies have do consider to make providers comfortable to do outcall at my place...it's clear that doing incall to her place is the first step to build trustworth relationships and then see if there is room for outcall to my place...
Screening device is fine...but I'm already on TER White List, and I'll use screening device further in my career LOL...
Employment has been verified my ATF, and other ladies are confortable to come to me by her reference...
Again it about level of comfort, security and safety that make providers willing to do outcall at my place...
Good point about doing incall and then vanish...very nice piece of advice
I have on my list, and I'll see only high-tier well reviewed ladies...no time to waste for me...LOL
About the boyfriend: that's another things I never took in consideration...it means that I have to check out and screen carefully young ladies, or ladies who might have "inspector' LOL
Spouse: I'm single, so hopefully ladies won't have an issue with that...I believe that work out positively in making them comfortable to doing outcall on me...at least I hope so LOL
Profession: I have enough cover to make ladies screen me about my work info...if ladies decide to do outcall on me they already know about that...however, if their screening process get out of the 'discret' safe and so on path, they are going to have no business with me LOL
It involve publis trust, but the source of trust is a trustworth person, so again that person will notify to me if things got out of the line...providers know about that, so it's up to them to do their homework as discret as possible...for indipendent ladies so far is working, once I move to 'agency' date-check or other screening device will do the rest...
Thanks so much for your feedback, very much appreciated.
Hi Rita,
I have done my homework and narrowed down the list of ladies who are apparently comfortable doing outcall...in fact 'reputable providers' seems to not have kind of problem whatsoever...but from time to time tiny details seems to emerge...
In fact, my target is 'just' high-tier, high-score, well reviewed ladies who fit my bills.
Let me ask this to you:
what are the kew factors that you bring in your plan once you are ready for an outcall to private home or apt?
Security? Safety? Single/Married? what about if is a newbie? You just leave me outside the game? Location? Kind of building? Neighb? Areas?
As you know LA is a big city, and many place are not exactly inviting to outcall...
Thanks,
BM
Hi marvelous Jenny,
1. Done tons of research...given ladies all they want and more...however, as you know ladies are different and they have very personal level of security, safety and so forth...
My issue is to make them as comfortable as possible such that me and them can have fun from minute one, leaving out all the rest LOL
That correct...many do outcall at home, but many don't...some that don't are really on my 'favorite list', so I'm working to make them comfortable to the idea to do outcall...if it does not work...well I'll move on LOL
You go to home for your LA local guys more than hotel: I assume that those guys are you regular; but what about newbie? what you level of comfort has to be, and what you need to know such that you will make the move to go to their places?
2. I'm well versed in cleaning my place: after all I'm just another "JOE the Plumber" LOL
Not for the ladies, just because I like to live in a clean place...is part of my comfort LOL
No dog, no pets, no animal to deal with...so no issue here LOL
I think of a rendezvous as not other date, but something a bit special: I work for the rendezvous, doing research, reading and messagging about my ladies, spending time thinking about all kinds of stuff I can do to make them comfortable, and of course making my investment worth LOL
It's a business after all, and a very fun game...I set my rule, ladies set theirs...if the game is played in cooperation only good things can happen, if not...well let's move on baby
Thanks, Jenny the Marvels
BM
Hi Ciara,
I love classy ladies who show up at my place well dressed, even the only things that I ask to them is to dress elegant but casual...after all she will be seeing by some of my building-neighb so some wise preauction need to be addressed before ladies come to my place.
At the same time dress for me is a big issue: if a ladies dressed to my taste, she has done her homework well LOL...I noticed that well-established ladies dress very differently from newbie ladies...and I cut them from my fun time LOL
I clean and prepare the bathroom 1 hour before she show up, and prepare everything she might need after or before a rendezvous...
Clean is of paramount importance to me: my sister, my mom, and my grandmother have alway remembered me how a clean environment make a lady so comfortable to play and have fun...of course their advice is very well taken...
But what you do if a newbie ask you to do outcall to his pad? What are the key factors that you bring on the table to get on the 'comfort zone'?
Thanks,
BM
PS: Hope that you solve the issue related with too many e-mail...you have my total support
1. Very good point BG57: no way to change their mind, not very classy and make them see you in not a very nice perspective...especially if business has to be done in the future...
2. My set of conditions are put on the table before an outcall is made, and they are very simple...of course some ladies will accept that, other will not. I'm free as they are to set whatsoever conditions make me and them play the game in the respective 'comfortable zone.'
3. My portfolio of lady will reflect that set of conditions, and of course exeption will be taken in consideration once the comfortable zone can be recreated by incall, or wherever...
4. I know that is not about how beautiful I'm (I'm really Joe the Plumber LOL), about my place (it's just OK), my looks (just "john type" LOL), my IQ (I'm a plumber after all, my lady, keep simple please and speak in plain english LOL), about what I like or dislike (humm I like reading erotical novel, and Andrew Blake...but who care right? I dislikes ladies who are not on time...but I can live with that right?), about getting lost on the way to the outcall to my place (my AFT got GPS, so I'm in good hands GB57), and if they are not familiar with my areas I send them Yahoo MAP, and give them enough 'window time' to get it done...
So what it's all about? So far I got the sense that it's about having fun...it's a nice game to play...but some comfortable zone is necessary such that fun and game can be worth of...
So far no driver...but good point to think about...again it's about 'comfortable zone' and rule of being safe, secure once you got on the way to an outcall...
1. Those to put on the table the "john-hobby-like" provides their respective on the game...all view are respectable from my standpoint...everyone is free to play the game on their turf...
2. "the fish in the sea": again, in my view that's fine...those that think that 'ladies' are just a collection of trophy to put on the resume, because this is what the game is all about, is just one perspective...however, experience suggest that out there, not all fish are the same, and from time to time you meet some fish who might require more time to taste and enjoy...
3. "human relationships": hobbyst and providers have their setof rule; everyone is free to play the game once, twice, or just shop around and collect as many trophy they want; other, thinks that 'regulars' and nice relationships are after all possible...as newbie this is not my issue right now...
My question is about outcall and comfortable zone: ladies are free to show up or not, but I have to make the game worth of playing by finding and providing them the best conditions (safety, security, etc) such that they will respond to the outcall...that's all.
4. In fact, the game "does not have to be that way." It can be in several other way, as long the two parts are in the comfortable zone...
5. Perhaps hobbyst have very low level of fantasies, perhaps they do not like dreaming, perhaps they do not like make fun of themselves, perhaps they are too busy thinking about the next trophy to carry on their camp to joke and have fun with their character, perhaps hobbyst are too business-like man who are afraid of terrible words like "bizarre, strange, weird"...
Perhaps...but this is a game, where fantasies, dream, having fun, joking about your character is part of the so-called hobby...
I'm prefer playing this game as those kids who find their first toys so umbelievable strange that once they have a train they said, "I'm going to the moon and I'll be driving around the galaxies for the next 5 years...", or when they receive a 'mickey mouse' and they think that's is what human being look like...
Perhaps, I'm just one of those kids...LOL
LOL, the answer to that will be a bit different for everybody but...
To me it's not a game or a "fantasy" as some call it. Having sex with a woman is a very intimate act and it's about as real as it gets. If both parties are into it the money is really secondary. Yes, you wouldn't be together in the same room without it but the best ladies are very capable of letting go and just enjoying the time as long as they feel comfortable with you.
I agree that a comfort zone is very important. You achieve that by giving the lady what she needs to feel safe with you. That is always her first priority. As long as we as clients understand that first and foremost the rest is easy. It's all about having a good time with a hot naked lady!
your favorite lady's incall. Build up some good references then maybe consider inviting a lady to a hotel room you rented for your date. Too much to risk to invite the lady to your home unless you really think you know her and have had several dates with her.
BTW, I have taken a cab to a date as well as public transportation (light rail) when I have been in a city for business and been without a car. A few cab rides are way cheaper than renting a car and having to park it at a downtown hotel.
Agree. I don't think there are many reputable out-call providers who will go to someone's residence for a first visit. You need to build that trust over time.
I think "getting ready" for the appointment part is the key. I screen each client and I don't see someone I don't feel will be compatible with. I make sure I'm clean and look presentable. The client being new doesn't concern me too much. As for location, buildings with a security that I have to check in with, make me a bit nervous.
As far as on your end, I don't think we expect much besides behaving respectfully and having a good hygiene. A lot of people offer me a glass of wine, and that's a good way to break the ice.
Dear looser43,
also you might be a bit of sloppy reader...from my post on Bostonguy57...couple of line abover...
"I know that is not about how beautiful I'm (I'm really Joe the Plumber LOL), about my place (it's just OK), my looks (just "john type" LOL), my IQ (I'm a plumber after all, my lady, keep simple please and speak in plain english LOL)"
So you are a bit facetious after all LOL
Regard to common sense: fair enough, many ladies keep things pretty simple, other not at all...that was the target of my question.
If you believe that I put all those promotions in my letter of Introduction, then my friend you need to go to see some nice movie...and be happy...LOL...camon, be serious...letter of Introduction...what is that? sending a resume for job-seeking? LOL
That said, commonsense reasoning by many ladies is about safety, security and so forth...that has nothing to do with me being a lose screw or wherever...even that, ladies are free to think wherever they want...once we meet...well that's another story...and as BG57 said in his post they after all don't care, so no problem here.
PS: I should avoid those terrible spelling mistake...let me check my Joe the Plummer's Dictionary: Neighbourhood...that's correct...I apologies for that...I'm a little joe the plumber alien immigrant...LOL
I've posted on this subject numerous times- but I'd be happy to share my thoughts again:
I have never made it a habit to go to the private residence of a gentlemen unless I've already established a level of comfort and I feel confident in the environment I will be walking into.
In addition to my concerns about my own safety, I also had concerns of "issues" that could arise after I left- I'll link to my original post and you can glance over it if you would like to. I would never be callus enough to judge all hobbyists by one huge sweeping generalization but I have always had specific guidelines I governed my business with and protecting my safety was always a priority. I'm guessing most providers have some of the same concerns. Best of luck in finding what you seek.... kisses ~Tori
Thanks keystonekid,
it sound a very nice advice...yeap it could work as a way to built a 'comfort zone'...cabbie to incall, then outcall at hotel of my choice, then it things got well I might propose outcall at my pad...sound pretty strategy...
I'll figure out how to make this strategy work...
Ya bbbmmm222, you are absolute right...
Many ladies are not comfortable coming to my place, regardless of my effort to make them know that everything would be fine...
The issue is that many reputable out-call ladies provide "outcall" meaning 'outcall to hotel'...once I mention instead 'outcall to my place' then it become a slippery issue, and from their e-mail I can smell rising doubts, and so forth...unfortanately from their profile, website, and ad is rarely possible understand if 'outcall' for them mean only 'outcall to hotel'...
I know that because my first rendezvous, she said 'my place'...once I got there with a taxi, 'my place = her hotel'...and things did not work out well...
Definitely: trust can only be a long-term process...
My ATF said to me candidly: "it's because you are single that I come to your place...otherwise, forget about..."
It make me think about a lot...
Sorry Rita,
my question was a bit confused...
Let's assume that I pass you screening process...and we agree to outcall at my place, not 'my' hotel...
What things make you comfortable, behind behaving respectfully and having a good hygiene, to come to my 'private' place?
Location: if I live in a safe area in LA?
I'm single: did you care or not about that?
Type of building: private, condo, apt, you have to ring a bell to come in...
Parking: if 1hour or 2hours it make difference for you?
Package: if 1hour rendezvous make difference for you to accept the outcall, or you prefere 2hours to come to the 'private residence'?
Dressing: since building and condo, or apt varies by architecture, how did you dress typically? Casual? I aks this, because if rendezvous become routine, people in the place can start to think about...hummm...nice ladies coming here each-4/5 days, or each wherever...
Any suggestion to minimize this beyond dressing casual? Like changing time or day of the rendezvous?
Hope is better this time...
PS: I have always red, white wine for my ladies, plus Ferrero Rocher, and other snack if the want to eat something...food is alway available for long rendezvous...LOL
Hi Tori,
really appreciate your thoughts, and sharing your perspective on this issue...I appreciate especially the fact that your post help me to think about from the "provider p.o.v.', which is something that as newbie does not come naturally...
I'm sure, that your concerns are really the 'concerns' of many providers...I have to make effort to get into those concerns and think about carefully at...
You wrote in the original post: "and he has to be totally single, that is no woman in his residence what so ever." That's is my case...incidentally yesterday my ATF simply stated exactly the same point: she wouldn't come to my place if a woman was around...since I'm single from my years now I never thought about that...habits of thought are hard to swipe away...
I now realize that many ladies'concerns about coming to my place for an outcall might be related with safety issues, privacy, security and so on...
I have to think about not just the 'before', but also about 'once she left'...
There are priority on the providers side that I cannot get around just saying "I'm single, so don't be worry about..."; that is too narrow...there is a lot more than this...
Also the fact that I can only meet them after dinner (due to my schedule of work), that play a role in terms of concerns...driving at night in LA? humm another issue to consider...
Anyway I really appreciate your post...put a lot of stuff on the menu to think about...
Thanks again Tori, and all my best.
PS: You are gorgious!!! Any plan to trip in LA?
You have quite extensive questions. I'll keep it brief here, if you have further questions, I'd suggest you contact me directly or the lady you are interested in seeing.
I've never had a request from an unsafe area, but nice neighborhood makes me feel more comfortable. Single or married does not matter to me. I dress from casual to more dressy depending on the situation, but I always keep it classy. I can take requests of course, within reasons.
My apologie Rina...for mispelling you name...
Are you a newbie? Is that why you asked the question as to what I'd do at an outcall appointment? Well, what I'd always do, and make myself comfortable, take off my coat, usually give a compliment if the place is nice and put him at ease (kisses and a big hug always). I also watch for his reactions. I'm a big girl so I can read men pretty well.
Hugs,
Ciara