Hi all,
I set up an incall appointment via email on Friday with a provider (7 pages of reviews). We were supposed to meet yesterday at 4pm, so she gave me the major cross streets to her place and told me to call her when I got there. So we exchanged phone numbers, but I was a bit worried that she might have had a typo when she sent me her phone number, so I asked if I could call her to confirm her number, but she preferred not to and just sent another email to confirm her number. When I left around 3 the day of the appointment, I realized there was some traffic so I called her to tell her, but it went straight to the generic voicemail. I left a message and at about 3:30 gave another call. Still voicemail. I was beginning to get skeptical. I gave her my number just in case she had lost it. A little later I arrived at the major intersections, where she had said to call her. I called her again. After countless times, I drove into a residential area and parked there, then I tried calling her every now and then, for an hour. I got on my iPhone and sent her an email too. Finally I sent one last voicemail and a text saying I was leaving.
The main thing I'm surprised about is that she had 7 pages of positive reviews (8,9,10). She still hasn't replied to me. What should I do?
Lyricist, in my opinion you over did it with this lady and you either scared her away or she got pissed with you.
If she sent you and email and gave you her number and then she sent you a second email confirming the number then she has done all she needed to do.
If this was your first time, I do understand. We've all been in your shoes when it was our 1st time. I have found that most of the ladies won't put up with much crap and you gave this one a sack full by calling her so much. She gave you instructions on what to do and you blew it! So she blew you off.
Don't expect a second chance with her for I feel based on your story she won't give you one.
Find another well reviewed lady and FOLLOW her instructions and you should have no problem.
Good luck and let us know how you do!!
Your choice, wait and see if you get an explanation or move on. Personally, I would move on.
You could post about this on the appropriate regional board, naming her, but experience tells me you have nothing to gain from that. If she has that many reviews, her fans are going to rush to her defense and make you out to be a villain. If she wants, she can post any believable sob story to explain why this happened.
Resist the urge for vengeance. Hell, she might contact you this week with an apology and want to make it up to you. If not, just move on. What happened to you sadly is not that rare, especially with a newbie.
Wait to see if she contacts you with some reason she was not available and offers to make it up to you. If not, move on.
I doubt that I could resist the urge to post her name and actions on your regional board, but IMALLIN has a valid point, the white knighters will most likely crucify you. It's not fair, but it the truth. I'd wait a day or two and let her have it on the board, but actions do have consequences. It's easy for me to give advice, I don't have to live with the fallout.
NCNS IMO is the ultimate in disrespect, unfortunately it happens, and it goes both ways. Both providers and hobbyists are guilty of it. I am sorry this happened to you and I also wish I had better advice.
When in doubt be Cavalier about it. There is alot to choose from in the hobby game
Why would you think there was a typo? Calling her to confirm her number was simply disrespectful. Do you generally question the accuracy of content in other emails?
I suspect things went downhill almost immediately and she might have become worried about your credentials or simply got the feeling she wouldn't enjoy her time with you.
Move on.
Man, you need to be cool in the sport. I know you're excited and nervous, but it's important to act just so. On its surface it sounds like you did something to spook this lady.
Although it's a different category entirely, you need to act as if it's a business appointment. Would you behave like that with a sales prospect or before a job interview - calling twice, questioning the accuracy of their e-mail, and leaving a message thinking they might have lost your phone number? Of course not. If you did that before a job interview, the folks at employer would decide you were a flake before you ever got through the door. O.K., at least in that case you'd get a cold shower. Sorry you ended up with snake eyes in this one.
Next time, just follow the directions and be cool. She said call her when you got to the cross street. That's what you should've done.
I'm sure you're wondering if an extra phone call or two could possibly have been such a big deal. One of the most serious problems that providers encounter in their work are stalkerish guys – guys who won't leave them alone and constantly contact them. At its worst off course, it becomes actual stalking but short of that it's a major annoyance (and a provider never knows when one will become the other).
When a provider is screening you, one of her big considerations is whether she thinks you have the experience and/or maturity to understand that when it's over, it's over. The way to be successful in setting up appointments is to be as polite, well-spoken, and reserved as you can. That make you stand out as a prospective client.
One more thing – you should make a point of never being late. She doesn't want to hear about traffic. What is she supposed to do? Move back the time of your appt? That may not be possible.
Good luck. You should definitely write this one off and move on. The hobby is full of frustrations, but when it clicks, it's great.
I have to agree, so many calls spooked her... At least for now, move on. You may try again later after you've learned the ropes...
I've learned the hard way, not to book appointments where travel time is critical. Get near the location & go have a coffee... follow her directions, call at the exact time requested. You need to PROVE you can follow directions.
Ladies, don't just sit by the phone waiting for us to call. They have lives, erands to run... even to shower & make themselves pretty for us...
skb
-- Modified on 1/12/2009 9:50:28 AM
but then I re-read his posting. Imagine the girl gets back to her location a few minutes before 4pm, and see 30 calls from this guy! I would ignore his ass too.
OP, you were correct with the ONE call telling her you might be late, but you should have stopped there. Instead you panicked and started calling as you said "countless" times.
Turns out, you weren't late, but by then you had left countless messages, and to her looked like a fool, a psycho, or a newbie, none of which she was interested in dealing with.
You have learned a hard lesson...
There are always enough WK's to stand up for the lady so my first inclination was to defend the OP, but then like you I reread the post.
Nobody, and I mean nobody likes to have their phone blown up. If you had any delusions about her wanting to chit chat, she made her wishes known by sending you a text instead of a voice call. She quite possibly had another appointment or was busy getting ready for your date.
It really is the best way to get a message like that to them without annoying them.
but I have reached the same conclusion. In the ladies defense, there is nothing more irritating than having to turn your phone off because someone is too thick in the head to stop calling repeatedly.
Another word of advice to the OP. Desperation is not sexy, even when you are paying for it.
As others have said, you either upset her, scared her or pissed her off. Just move along. Another possibility is that something happened. Providers do have life outside providing. You may get a call or a contact but If I were you I would just move along.
I dunno, I see where others say you overdid it, maybe so but just to confirm a phone number seems simple enough to me. Even if you did, for the lady to just leave you hanging like that shows no class at all, she could have at least give you some excuse and not had you waiting around like that. You are probably better off not to have seen her and wasted your money.
Next time you find yourself in the situation where the girl won't answer your calls, try calling from a different phone. She won't realize it's you, and won't be able to resist picking up for what she thinks is a potential new customer.
Now, once you get her on the line what are you going to say? If she doesn't hang up on you as soon as you explain who you are, then you're just going to get some lame excuse - I lost my phone, my phone died, my friend came over, my car died, I had a family emergency, etc. Any one of these could be true, but they seem to happen all too frequently to whores.
There's nothing she will say that will make you feel better. Worst case - she apologizes, sets up another appointment with you, and stands you up AGAIN.
Personal experience says you should just let it go, and move on.
Thanks for the feedback everyone. I see I screwed up bigtime.
A few minutes ago, however, I got an email from the provider:
"I'm so sorry that I screwed up. I am working this week and could see you at 8 this evening or tomorrow afternoon or evening or Wed. Let me know what works best for you and I promise we will have a great time.
xoxo"
You're a guy. That mean you think with your little head no matter what you try. You said she's got pages of great reviews and she promises a great time. Ignore all our advice and go for it. (Which guy here wouldn't?)
Still no excuse for just leaving him hanging, shows total lack of any concern and/or respect. My guess is she probably saw his post and trying to save face before he decides to out her. Too many other ladies out there to deal with someone like that.
But what the heck. I would give it another try.
To be blunt, you probably got blown-off for a regular or a multi-hour appointment the first time around. The longer a gal has been around and the better she is reviewed the more likely she is to have a stable of regular customers who will always get priority over a newbie. This is a reality in the hobby that we all have to deal with.
price or additional time for the same $? Most quality ladies will offer "something" when they have to cancel at the last minute.
I have had clients cancel at the last minute or call three hours after the scheduled time to apologize for "xyz" reason but I never get offered more money or less time for the same price...until I do I will not either..s@#t happens and you move on. So do quality clients offer the same thing in return?
Doesn't my handle say enuf?