The Irish have St. Patty's Day- the ultimate get shitfaced, and fall on your face holiday. They have a big parade, green beer, Irish Whisky, green bagels (yes this is sickening), green hats, and guys get drunk with no underwear blowing "bagpipes". The "lassies" get drunk, and give up their Catholic guilt for a day, and will fuck anyone with a green beer, or a good buzz. What a great Holiday!
The Italians have Columbus day, and get drunk on Vino while parading around with cannolis. they then get more drunk at their family dinner before going out later to get shitfaced, and bang the Columbus out of their mistresses. These Italian girls pretend to be virgins, but are Hot blooded, and horny, and are wetter than olive oil 'til they bear kids. They fuck like bunnies. This too is a fun holiday!
The Puerto Ricans need no excuse to get fucked up, and have a parade. Puerto Rican Day is a salsa filled carnival with scantily clad latinas with J Lo asses. They reek of sex, and can't wait to get off the float, and suck a drunk Puerto Rican's rum soaked cock dry. They love Greek (That's what the J Lo asses are built for), and will fuck anyone even pretending to be Puerto Rican 'til their dead. These girls are bitches in heat!!! Fun Fuckfest!
Even Homosexuals have Gay Pride Day, and other holidays which are excuses to march naked in parades , stick their shlongs in people's faces, give/receive public BBBJs, get shitfaced on all types of drugs, alcohol, and have a gay old time. The faggots have a great thing going!
What do we Jews have ? No parades, no drunkenness, no wild women showing their tits offering BBBJs in the streets. And God knows, no Greek sessions ever!
No, we have Delis, J.A.P.s, pastrami, and gefilte fish. Our wine is dreck- Manschewitz, Mogen David-yuck! A parade for us is a sale at Syms, or Macy's where our women line up to spend our money!
I think I'm changing my name to a good Irish name like "Shlomo O'Shlong". I can pretend to be Irish, get wasted on green drinks, get publicly shit faced, and get wildly fucked by sexy shiksas! Either that, or wear a pink yarmulke, take some Xtasy and go to a good fag parade, and hang out my dong. Someone there is sure to suck it! Oy Vey!
:>)
-- Modified on 3/9/2007 10:00:02 AM
-- Modified on 3/9/2007 12:13:38 PM
I'll never forget the day that I donned a black beard and strapped on a sword and proclaimed to the noise of all the maggregors:
"I am Haman the vile."
to partake of every other holiday!
Why throw a wild party yourself when you can just show up at everyone elses... get shitfaced, horny and PAY for the lovely services of providers who'll screw the "Oy Vey" right out of 'em!
Heck, they'll even find a Palentinian provider if they look hard enough! (gotta be a sick bastard, tho)
No need to clean up... ain't that a beautiful thing?
On their 20th annisversary, the wife of a Jewish couple said "Sal... what do you want for a present"... Sal replied... "I've never had a blow job; I'd really like one'... Sal's wife replied; "Oy Vay! I couldn't do it! Hire a hooker"... Sal said "It wouldn't be right, it has to be from you". So it didn't happen. On their 35th, Sadie asked what Sal wanted as a gift... once again Sal asked for a blow job. "I'm sorry Sal, but it's disgusting! I can't do it!" So it didn't happen... On their 50th, same question, but this time Sadie agreed... but with one condition. It had to be like a second honeymoon... they'd go to the Eden Roc in Miami amd make a vacation of it. So they check into the Eden Roc, and Sal finally get's his blow job. Afterwards Sadie goes to the bathroom to brush her teeth, when the phone rings... it's their Daughter, calling to see how they're doing. After talking to her for a minute, she asks to talk to Sadie... Sal calls out to his wife... Hey Cocksucker... it's for you!!!
At least your Chauffer gets blown.
It's supposed to be Sol...
This choke had whiskers on it from my grandfathers day's... he told it to me
What about Shlivovitz for Passover...
A couple of shots of that stuff and you don't know your name
May Day --It was a pagan ritual for the May Queen. She got f**cked by everyone. Obviously she was voted in as Queen, and since there were no complaints I guess she liked it. Thank the Christians for outlawing this "horrible" behavior. Makes you think twice about the prom queen, now doesn't it?
If it were me, I'd grant every day a holiday for Jews... I love Jewish men... but, hey baby... Purim was last weekend... that's all about getting drunk and seeing naked women's breasts... you know the real story about esther? She ain't no princess! But I'll be your princess if you come to LA, meet me in vegas or fly me to NYC. Laynie xox