OK, here's the story.  It's a beautiful summer day so I decide to take the afternoon off and go to Yankee Stadium.  7th inning, I go to the Men's Room on the ground floor to take a dump.  I'm sitting in the handicapped stall (key detail) and I'm staring at the wall in front of me looking at some random graffiti.  Wait a minute.  My eyes focus on the following scrawl:  "Capedude sucks.  Bill and Junior swallow.  TER Thirsty."  No, can't be -- what are the odds?

So I get up and leave.  Walk past the sinks.  There's a guy in a wheelchair washing up.  He's wearing a T-shirt that says"  "Gigolo Jess Swallows."  Holy smokes!  Is this even possible??   I consider leaning over and saying to the guy, "Thirsty?" but I don't have the nerve.

I head to the garage early to beat the traffic.    On the way to my car, I call Miki to tell her about "one of the weirdest things that has ever happened to me."  She says, "Oh my God!  Do you have a camera cell phone?"  I answer:  "Sh**!"  "Go back!" she exclaims.  "We need a picture!"    "I can't!  I left the stadium and they won't let me back in!  I'm an idiot!"  

But it's true, I swear!  A million-to-one Thirsty sighting!  Junior, will you back me up here?  You know I was going to the game!

So what does this mean??  Maybe we all need to be nicer to Thirsty.  And hey, next time you're going to the game, send me a PM.  Maybe we can hang out?    

Moment out.

You are one hell of a man. I would shit in my pants first

I cant say those bathrooms (which, as Bill notes, are from from sanitary) are sacred ground.  If anything, I consider the graffiti I saw to be some odd version of a message in a bottle, which somehow came ashore in front of my arse in Yankee Stadium.

To the left wall of stall,

Call Ciara for a good time
716- 812-1949

(geeshe ! )

I didn't flush either.

thirsty

had toilet paper stuck to his wheels on his way back to the stands!  

Notice the latch on that stall didn't lock?

True Story, I rolled into the stall and a piece of tp wrapped around my wheel. Now, the only thing dorkier than a guy with a piece of paper stuck to his shoe is a guy with tp wrapped around his wheel. I was busy trying to remove the tp and the door flies open and some old guy with a cane asks me if I needed help. Moment, was that you? Hope not. Anyway, the old gent was waiting so I had to write quick. That's why the scrawl looks like that of a 4 year old or like some Irish guy who had a few too many at Rory Dolan's last night.

BTW...what were you guys whinning about? The ump made the correct call in the 10th.

even more thirsty ($8.50 for a 20 oz Miller Lite?)

I have a picture (not digital)

thirsty

1.  You're right.  The latch on the stall didnt lock.

2.  I wasn't the old guy.  I'm mid-forties, decent looking and, OK I'll say it, heavy.  Actually I remember the old guy.  He took about five minutes to piss.  I was the next guy.

3.  It was very close, but it was the right call.

4.  The White Sox have a major league centerfielder.  We have a guy who used to be one.

Boston     66 47 .584 --  
NY Yankees 60 52  -5.5

George. What does 205Mil buy these days? And what's the deal with Yankees fans trying to kill themselves?

While I was waiting, I heard a guy warn his son repeatedly before and after he went in the stall,

"DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING IN THERE!!!"

This made me think of two things.

1. The scene in the movie Silkwood where they throw her in the shower, rip off her clothes and scrub her down after she's contaminated.

2. If this young boy was so tramitized by this bathroom that the words, "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING IN THERE!!!" are going to ring in his ears the rest of his life, he probably won't even touch himself in the bathroom when he's old enough.

thirsty

When I was at the sink, I was actually on the phone with Break For The Border. They kept me waiting 3 hours after the game.


...and yes, I did wash my hands.

thirsty

P.S. How did you keep the door closed? It opens out. Must have been quite a show.

too bad you didn't let us know you were here in NY.

giving you a wheelchair!! WTF is up with you Thirsty??

I am shocked, I am in disbelief and I'm a little flattered. I almost called my mom to tell her about this....but then again maybe not.

I still need sometime to digest this, believe it or not I'm actually a bit speechless over this. There ya go board if you ever want to shut me up go to a major league stadium and write some grafitti about me.

Thirsty maybe you need someone to talk to let me know I've got a few numbers I'll give you. Therapy is cleansing for the soul.

huh you notice no posts from Smelly Smegma today? You think maybe since he wasn't incuded in your TER memorial at Yankee Stadium that he feels left out?

I'm honestly surprised at you Thirsty. There can't be anyone who is a bigger pain in your ass than him....and you just disregarded like a used condom.

Shame on you Thirsty. If it means anything to you Smelly I wrote some graffiti in my office bathroom for you!!

White Sox 2
Yankees 1

Did anyone check what I wrote under the seat?

thirsty