i think you schouch trust your gut
Very often, I can tell more about a potential client and whether I should arrange a meeting from a simple conversation on the phone than I can from the "data" that they send, such as name and work info. Both guys and gals, what are your thoughts on this?
I guess they are newbie guys with no other refs? Or maybe that's what you demand for screening purposes? And if that's what you need to feel safe, that is totally your call and I'm not going to tell you otherwise, but I hope the guys know what the risk is with that, in general.
As far as the phone call thing goes, I think that's better off done after screening, but thats just me personally. It's a good ice breaker for the actual meeting to come, but it's a bit out of the ordinary for most and you will def turn some guys off by it if it is a requirement to see you.
Btw, when you say "you can tell more about a potential client" by phone, I am assuming you mean compatability wise, not personal safety risk wise, right?
In other words, you would still want their verification info even if you spoke to them and he "sounded" ok, correct?
I've actually turned down potential clients because they didn't act like gentlemen on the phone. One guy called me and simply asked me "How much you charge for sex?" Needless to say, I didn't see him.
place in a couple hours no problem . the chopper is on the lawn and fueled up .. Michele ? shes going to chitown , oprah doing an episode on faithful husbands in powerful positions . yeah kinda funny isn't it .. basketball , no I never played . yes I do look tall on tv ..
yeah sweetie go with that conversation shit , people don't lie ..
useful information from phone callers number as long as it wasn't a throw away or a pay phone. But even that would be telling.
You can't tell anything from a nice voice on the phone..A charmer can also be a jerk
That is a dangerous way to screen.
I find a large percentage of men who contact me give bogus info and even create Linkedin ads and social media to dupe me. They go through great extent to fool me time and time again.
This leaves me very paranoid and I am the biggest pain in the ass about screening
Is it worth losing your life or freedom for a few $$$$$?? Just because he sounded nice on the phone?
Remember.. Men can recover being caught ,but woman rarely do
but guys want anonymity just as much as you do!
It's not unheard of that hobbyists have been blackmailed, outed, or blacklisted.
Maybe the best way to solve this is to join P411 or Datecheck
It was an incredibly dick-headed move on their part to start accepting several "OKs" in lieu of providing any personal info. In my opinion, this move has rendered that site virtually useless. Any registered sex offender can now get a couple of "OKs" under his belt by seeing ladies who are aren't as skilled at screening and then *bam* he has access to THOUSANDS of women, who have not the faintest clue who he REALLY is! The system was already flawed enough by not letting any NEGATIVE feedback be visable to other ladies. Not to mention the whole refusing to ban clients who constantly troll for BBFS nonsense...
It's always ways to not trust your safety to some website. It's valuable for it's data, but it's not the end all-be all of safety.
I know women who look at someone's P411 OK's and then contact some of them for references
I too have learned there is a fair amount of back channeling going with p411 where the provider has contacted my recent okays to further verify that I am indeed OK...
Yes, I do that now too (didn't use to, but P411 has been involved in too many questionable situations recently for me to trust just the OKs). And so far most girls do respond to those requests, which is very helpful. And appreciated!
Guys troll for it b/c women offer it here. Not my cup of tea but what diff does it make to you?
Despite numerous complaints to Gina from providers who declined to "OK" said client because he kept pleading for BBFS during their session. Girls have a RIGHT to know that this has been an on-going problem with said guy. People in this thread keep saying to contact the most recent "OKs" directly. However, if the ladies DECLINED to "OK" him because he was a PROBLEM CLIENT, then how the hell can other ladies know about this issue, unless he was blacklisted on a national site or something?
Am I the only one who seees the catch22 here?
If a guy asks for BBBJ and you ony do CBJ, you say "no", right? How the fk would BBFS be any different?
And who ONLY uses P411 for verification? This is why you ask for refs OUTSIDE of p411, as you will get your info you seek that way. P411 is just ONE weapon in a full arsenal.
You are coming off a major newb here and if thats the case, you have a lot to learn about this biz to keep your self safe.
HTG (hooktardgold) is a great person to contact to protect yourself as she will give you some excellent advice re: verification or read the newbie board.
Frankly, I also do a lot of my screening through "creative Googling," as well. However, P411 seems to be eclipsing the other methods in many areas, though I rarely use it and frankly don't trust it in several reguards. But seeing as how this is a discussion board and all, I'm "talking it out" and reading other people's thoughts on the matter.
No, I have brought up that subject many times. I think there should be degrees of the OK, like on DC, so you can put something like "YMMV, but I would not see him again, because..." or " He was not LE, but he can't wash his ass properly" lol.
Anyone thinking that any site is their only barier from being busted, raped or killed is an idiot. Those sites are set up as tools, not 100 percent security, and even Gina says to do additional screening. Some women will accept a guy with a P411 without even contacting the providers, some will accept it without even looking at his profile, and some still want more information regardless of how many references a guy has.
Sorry, but just because Suzie Blowhard says Jim is a great client does not mean I would agree. Considering what some providers will fk for a few bucks, I would be hesitant to accept a ref from anyone that was not in the same caliber of woman I would want to go behind, if you know what I mean.
So, I can't speak about your issues with Gina personally, but I do think your concerns are spot on. Many women have been told they MUST ok a client or be banned from the site for issues that are not LE or safety related... i.e. late, smelly, rough, etc. because so many providers have used those things to blackmail for a good review, so if she allowed every client to be refused an ok for such things, women would take advantage of the system.
I agree with this as I was turned down by them but some hobbyist who did not go through any type of screening were accepted
They do not screen their clients at all
I had to undergo a thorough screening process. I even had to take a picture of my drivers license (front and back) and email that in... Maybe they have gotten more lax recently, but the wasn't the case a year or two ago. Maybe there is away for providers to see how long someone has been on p411 and can get more comfortable that way.
OTHO, I remember doing a trial with Date Check a back then and don't remember having to give them any personal data..
This is True about P411
I met a regular in Boston and he mention that he had just became a member of P-411
I right away asked him was their screening and he said zero screening I just had to pay the membership
P411 has never changed screening methods.
We screen clients the same way we have been screening clients since the inception of P411 in 2005, which is the same way we screened clients for my now defunct agency, which opened in 1998. Clients are screened either through provider references or employment verification.
If a client uses provider references, we need at least two verifiable providers to vouch for him. We would require absolutely no "real life" information, outside of what he would use when creating his client id. He would also even be eligible for a six month free trial with two provider references! So yes, if a client has two provider references getting on P411 is easy as pie, and FREE!
If a client is screened through employment verification, we delete and destroy all "real life" info the client has given to us during the screening proces, once his account is approved.
We really don't care WHO anyone on the site is. We are only doing our best to make sure that we are dealing with legitimate members of the community, and I've never made any suggestion otherwise.
The entire premise of Preferred411 is to allow a client to meet with providers who require screening, while protecting that client's real life information. That means that under no circumstances do we have any client's "real life" info in our databases. If you, as a provider, require a client's "real life" info, that is up to the provider to collect on her own (and for the client to decide whether he's willing to go that route".
If anyone has any other specific questions or concerns, I am always available to address them. Email is the most reliable way to reach me.
Always,
GinaXXX @ P411
I still had to go through the same screening as anyone else, and I have nothing but good things to say about both P411 and GIna.
Money and time very well spent IMO.
I have had to change my name three times because of stalker/ blackmailers
I will not be convinced that its safer for a woman then a man
It is by far more dangerous for a woman..I personally do not accept third party screening
Because if something happens me…they will not come forward with the mans information
It's not unheard of that hobbyists have been blackmailed, outed, or blacklisted.
Maybe the best way to solve this is to join P411 or Datecheck.
What if a seemingly "good" client shows his true colors one day and assaults a provider... and she wants to press charges. Will the site help her in this process? If the answer is "no," then I consider that a MAJOR problem!
YOU seek out hookers, they don't seek you out. When that day comes, you can be the one to set the rules as far as screening goes. If you don't like the process, go fk your wife. P411 and DC are not the end all be all of screening, and they give us nothing but who a guy has seen. Um, big whoop. I would never put my life or even my vagina up for grabs based on the word of some other provider I have never met. Some women fk and vouch for anything, as proven by your reviews lol.
It's not unheard of that hobbyists have been blackmailed, outed, or blacklisted.
Maybe the best way to solve this is to join P411 or Datecheck.
But I disagree with your last line of 'men can recover from being caught, but women rarely do.' If I got outed, blackmailed, etc, it could have devastating effects on my life that I might never fully recover from. As such, I am extremely careful and much more guarded about my personal info now. P411, TER Handle/WLs or provider references is all I am giving out... If you need more than that, then that is your prerogative and I would move on.
As for the OP, I agree you can sometimes get a better feel for a person by how they conduct themselves over the phone, but you still need to be careful and properly screen. In the early days, I used to be a last min guy, so most of my dates were set up same day over the phone. I too could get a sense for how the lady conducted herself over the phone; was she short and all business or come across and friendly and easy going. In some cases, women were willing to see me without more info cause 'I sound like a nice gentleman on the phone.' Now a days, I would consider that a red flag. I am happy to hand out my p411 or provide references, and if a provider isn't safe herself, how can I trust her to be safe with me. Also could be LE.
Be careful everyone and have fun!
I agree with what Lustkatrina said. I personally cannot tell if a gent is safe to see based on a phone call.
That is a dangerous way to screen.
I find a large percentage of men who contact me give bogus info and even create Linkedin ads and social media to dupe me. They go through great extent to fool me time and time again.
This leaves me very paranoid and I am the biggest pain in the ass about screening
Is it worth losing your life or freedom for a few $$$$$?? Just because he sounded nice on the phone?
Remember.. Men can recover being caught ,but woman rarely do
I was talking with some of my references and was very surprised to find out that they were never contacted. I would say that at least 90% of the women I have seen have not checked my references.
That might not be the norm. Maybe I just have a winning personality.
Or, maybe it's my willingness to give up several references combined with the number of reviews I have done, my white list entries and my P411 OK's.
I think, as with everything, the longer you do it, the more you get a feel for good and bad situations. New providers should meticulously check every reference. But as time goes on they will develop instincts that will let them make different judgements
I can't tell you how many, "he's ok" references replies that I have received that for me he was not ok!
I wish ladies would say, "just a heads up.. He will use all of your towels, be sure to leave only one out." "Are you doing an outcall? Because he smokes a lot of the green stuff." "Yeah, he's nice.. Once he gets there.. He always runs ten minutes late.. "
Plenty of ladies give an ok on p411 though he's really not ok. I like the date check.. Our 1-10 on if we would see the guy again.
Here's the two big issues -
1) Some ladies gossip and can't keep info private. Remember the girl code. If the guy asks you what she said, doesn't matter if it's good or bad.... I don't even reply, "well I'm here.... " that's the obvious, right? I literally reply, "sorry... Girl code!"
2) We shouldn't be discussing our screening methods in public. This should be discussed on the ladies only boards.
But seriously.. You guys like to know if a lady doesn't shower, right? It's gross. Those are the things that I think reviews should be focused on..
Were we on time?
Were we clean?
Did we do what we promised?
Were we nice?
All of that jazz....
I kinda like the same back from the guys I see.
Xx
Dont YOU do the verifying? Dont YOU decide who you see? Then isn't it at least partially, if not MOSTLY your fault???
Most women tell me 95% of their guys are just fine or great even. If you are seeing lower class guys, step up YOUR game and do some more research on the guys your seeing.
You reap what you sow.
Stinky ass cracks?
Last time I checked, everyone poops. Even GIRLS. Shhhh. Don't tell anyone!
Alas, only SOME of us CHOOSE to use wipes and then scrub it in the shower like we're polishing silver. I've met both stinky AND clean people of every race, class, and creed.
This is info she would have received from his refs, if it was a conern. You might be shocked to hear this, but women do share some of this stuff bc. I swear!
Will it eliminate it entirely? Of course not. But AM was making a blanket statement about "her guys" and taking a shot at them.
Deeper and more thorough verification can weed some/most of those guys out b/c if his ass stinks for you, it proly stank for other girls as well.
Of course you can still petition p411 to include "stinking ass cracks" as "ok" options.
-- Modified on 4/23/2014 2:15:30 PM
I can only image what the reply said that you replied to.. Only because I have him on ignore. You probably will soon, he's kinda repetative & boring.
LMNSFAO. (Laughing My Non-Stinky Fucking Ass Off.)
Sure, if they they are friends with the other provider in real life. OR if they talk directly to eachother on the phone...
But via WRITTEN form in an email or a text? Not LIKELY. Most girls want to maintain some degree of plausible deniability in case the other girl is a money grubbing back-stabber who wants to start drama by showing Mr. Stinky Butt what you wrote about him! Lol.
That's why I wish verification sites would work as follows:
Mr. Stinky Butt has, let's say, 10 "OKs." However, there is a drop down menu where girls can select-
- some previous issues with hygiene
- NCNS
- excessive calls, texts, or emails
- excessive alcohol use
- possible substance abuse issue
- repeated cancelations
Etc etc etc.
Now I'm not an idiot. I know why some of these options aren't on D-C and NONE of them are on P411. But such a system that provides QUALATATIVE feedback would enable true informed consent in an efficent and anoymous manner.
Let's say Mr. S B has two marks for hygiene and 6 marks for excessive drinking. There would still be plenty of girls willing to scrub him off, K-girl style, while downing an entire bottle of wine. And the ladies that wouldn't be comfortable? That's their choice. On to the next one. No harm, no foul. (Pun intended.)
It would be like the Ebay of paid sex.
Just saying.
-- Modified on 4/23/2014 4:20:01 PM
"Sure, if they they are friends with the other provider in real life. OR if they talk directly to each other on the phone... "
You just admitted the info is available to you, if you it REALLY matters to you, and if you weren't so lazy.
If "Mr. Stinky Butt" is such a problem for you that you drone on and on about it, PICK UP THE DAMN phone!
Many hookers WILL respond in text to a lady with a huge personal hygiene phobia, and the ones that wont...like YOU said...you can call them.
You really should STOP relying SO heavily on the imperfection of p411 or any single verification method.
And if all else fails, and a smelly ass comes your way. Suck it up honey. You're making $$$$/hr.
You'll survive!
Btw, how long you've been working for DateCheck?????????????
That was my 1) in my post. Loose lips. The girls and the guys have them. Just the other week I saw a guy who gave me so much real life info about so many girls.. It went in one ear and out the other, but I had to ultimately stop him. That's why I wish girls would just answer, "girl code" when a guy asks what was said.. But I also wish that every city had a beach.... Not going to happen.
Sometimes girls even reply, "sorry, I won't see you. You're on a site for not paying." Like, why even say that? Why say a thing?
I just don't get it...
It goes both ways with advertising how we are to others.
I get it, the guy is paying... But that doesn't mean that anyone has a right to smell or be an asshole. I pay when I go to a restaurant, but I can't take my stress out in a waitress. I don't throw my extra food on the floor. I pay when I go to a massage therapist, I have to shower before I go. It's pretty simple things that our parents were supposed to teach us as toddlers. And it doesn't matter if one has their doctorates or is a drop out... Common sense isn't the same as education.
:
I even have a name for your new company:
HookersWithTinFoilOnOurHeads
:
Ok, but don't wonder why providers are suddenly charging more than they did 5 years ago. Here's a hint, it's not because of rising gas prices and hotel costs like you see rehearsed here. They have just grown tired of smelling your ass for cheap, so looks like we agree. Personally, I don't see how any woman could do this for less than 500 and I don't really care how much they claim to love sex. You don't love it with every old, saggy, fat smelly man that walks in the door, so I must call BS on that noise.
Women charge what they can get... plain and simple. If they could all get 2k a date, don't think you would find one for less.
Alyssa, you should start a verification and review site for guys. Call it, theneuroticreview.com.
There is a security expert named Gavin De Becker. He has been on 20/20, 60 minutes, written books, etc. One of his great point is a theoretical story he tells:
After hours, dark outside, low lights on in the offfice at a ladies workplace in a high rise, she waits for the elevator to go home for the evening...the door opens and there is a man all by himself in the elevator...the women doesn't know exactly what it is, but she is getting a negative "vibe" from the guy.
Its not his color, or height/weight, or what he is wearing necessarily...she just has a bad feeling about him, for whatever reason...De Becker points out that humans are the only animals on earth that would negate their sense that something isnt right and still get on that elevator to stop the embarrrasement of the elevator door closing in his face.
The point is, in addition to a very thorough screeing, a girl should also trust her instincts...call it that "uh oh" feeling one gets. I think that is a gift we are given and we should heed it.
Ladies, if you have the opportunity, read some of his stuff. He has great ideas on how to protect yourself.
Stay safe out there. Let that proverbial (or actual) door close in his face ladies. He'll get over it.
i think you schouch trust your gut