When I'm being sarcastic, it ought to be plenty apparent.
And I agree with you, after reading your posts on this board for quite some time, it is VERY apparent when you're being sarcastic...lol Something else; I have gotten 2 responses from providers interesting in discussing a SD/sb relationship with me as a result on my posting on your thread. Kind of "wtf" moments, since this is not what I'm looking for and I had never met the girls, so I have had to write a couple of thanks but no thanks notes myself.
What are your thoughts on this as a response to an unsolicited email from a provider regarding an creating an ongoing arrangement. Does my response seem inappropriate, angry, passive-aggressive, none of the above, all of the above, or something else?
(Any Identifying information has been removed)..
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Appreciate the email.
I can't see how this arrangement would work with a provider. I wouldn't be a priority, I'd be the steerage bulk rate or the standby passenger at the airport hoping for a spare seat.
The other difference between a pro and an am looking for a SD is the attitude. A pro is a full p4p, the money is expected. The am's I've dealt with are usually only seeing one guy at a time and are EXTREMELY appreciative when they get some green or a gift.
That's the general thoughts on the matter.
My personal thoughts on the matter, and although I'll try to not get too "personal". I had enough of a hard time just scheduling an appointment with you (that never happened, mind you) when you were starting (redacted). I spent two months trying to set something up, then got over it.
If you do happen to set something up with one or a couple, I hope it works for the both of you.
Derp
I am understanding correctly that she is seeking an ongoing relationship with someone she has not met?
Are you certain it is a non-psycho provider?
I am not going to evaluate the psychology of your missive, but I would probably do a little word smithing to make it a little more tactful. e.g. The last sentence is at best spurious and at worse a smart aleck putdown. A better close is thank you for thinking of me and best of luck finding an opportunity that suits you,
Are you certain it is a non-psycho provider?
I am not going to evaluate the psychology of your missive, but I would probably do a little word smithing to make it a little more tactful. e.g. The last sentence is at best spurious and at worse a smart aleck putdown. A better close is thank you for thinking of me and best of luck finding an opportunity that suits you,
Anyhow, thanks for the critique.
But.. Does it sound, angry or bitter in any way
I don't get a sense of anger, probably more of confusion. That is understandable because what she proposed is pretty off the wall.
I have never been involved in a sugar daddy situation, but have been a "regular" with more than one provider. I don't mind a gal I see fairly often reaching out to me, but I am usually put off by someone I have only met once or twice giving me the "hey baby" email.
You have devoted a lot more time than I would have to the email. My response would have been something along the lines of "thanks for the offer, but that is not something I am looking for right now."
As I read it, your general thoughts explain why you are not interested in pursuing a sugar daddy relationship with a provider, any provider; because you believe the money would be her only motivation, while an amateur would be motivated by something more or different. Depending how she views her profession, she might find that judgment harsh, but not personal.
Your personal thoughts give the reason why you have no interest in pursuing anything at all with this specific provider; because you feel her treatment of you in the past was unprofessional. It appears, by adding this second part, you want to make clear that her own misbehavior has cost her an opportunity.
So the question is, do you simply want to decline her offer, or do you want make it sting a little, in addition. To phrase it differently, do you feel it is appropriate to offer criticism in addition to rejection. If you answer that Yes, then your message accomplishes its purpose. Maybe you feel she can learn something from your feedback. Maybe you are bitter. Either way, you get it done.
If all you want is to politely decline, then the second part seems unnecessary.
Your personal thoughts give the reason why you have no interest in pursuing anything at all with this specific provider; because you feel her treatment of you in the past was unprofessional. It appears, by adding this second part, you want to make clear that her own misbehavior has cost her an opportunity.
So the question is, do you simply want to decline her offer, or do you want make it sting a little, in addition. To phrase it differently, do you feel it is appropriate to offer criticism in addition to rejection. If you answer that Yes, then your message accomplishes its purpose. Maybe you feel she can learn something from your feedback. Maybe you are bitter. Either way, you get it done.
If all you want is to politely decline, then the second part seems unnecessary.
When I'm being sarcastic, it ought to be plenty apparent
When I'm being sarcastic, it ought to be plenty apparent.
And I agree with you, after reading your posts on this board for quite some time, it is VERY apparent when you're being sarcastic...lol
Something else; I have gotten 2 responses from providers interesting in discussing a SD/sb relationship with me as a result on my posting on your thread. Kind of "wtf" moments, since this is not what I'm looking for and I had never met the girls, so I have had to write a couple of thanks but no thanks notes myself.
When I'm being sarcastic, it ought to be plenty apparent.
I don't think your response to the provider was bitter or mean. We all have our own style of writing, mine is different than yours, but there was no bitterness or anger apparent to me.
And I agree with you, after reading your posts on this board for quite some time, it is VERY apparent when you're being sarcastic...lol
If I was bitter or angry.. There wouldn't be anything hidden or passive agressive in it. I would have been rather blunt about it.
I agree the first part is harsh. I said so. But it's impersonal. And I specifically acknowledged you might view the second part as constructive criticism she could learn from. You asked if the message seemed 'inappropriate, angry, passive-aggressive.' If you didn't want an answer, why ask the question? If you only wanted answers from your buddies, why address it to 'all here'? If you only wanted applause, you should have said so. Name calling when you don't like an answer you asked for is kind of silly.
I've done a lot of writing and editing and I'll stand by my response as a useful analysis that would help you decide how to proceed if you read it with an open mind.
Your sarcasm is very apparent, but since no one accused you of sarcasm, what's your point?
Your sarcasm is very apparent, but since no one accused you of sarcasm, what's your point?
The last sentence is at best spurious and at worse a smart aleck putdown.
Wasn't looking for validation or the cheering committee. Actually, just the opposite. I was trying to be as neutral as possible even used padded language with the "appreciate the email" or "not trying to be too personal" and even the salutation was meant to pad it.
I was looking for critique, because I walk with blinders on when it comes to the typical PC, everyone is looking for something to be offensive, or the what is this person "really" saying under all that.
Maybe I should have just stuck with my initial thought of a reply, which would have just been LOL.
Politely declining the offer accomplishes the same thing without burning any bridges in case things are different down the road. But perhaps it is important to you to explain your exact line of reasoning to her.
Like.
Say something nice (while declining) or don't say anything at all. Both would accomplish the same end goal as OP had in mind.
If I wasn't aware of OP's "street cred" I'd suggest he might already be burning bridges by posting these types of thoughts on how to respond
Much about the sugar world and really don't spend much time on the boards reading every topic
I'm sure most people don't, so I may have missed the many discussions on it. Could it be that the provider was
Thinking it might work best with a provider since she would be someone who is used to that kind of agreement right from the start, the other day or week ago that's what I was thinking when I saw the discussion about the sugar world.
I thought maybe a provider would complicate things less then a sugar babe
Never the less I'm not sure why you do ask the board for opinions about this.
You're saying it was a response to something unsolicited yet you respond with the wording " I can't see how this would work with a provider..." This implies you are speaking kind of generally, if this was a conversation about the two of you wouldn't you say something like "thanks but no thanks" and leave it like that? We have no way of really knowing what exactly she offered you, or it seems that you only gave your part of what we should assume to be an actual two sided conversation.
So it is kind of strange that you feel the need for other opinions on it. Could it be you feel bad for something you've said or are you just hoping she will read this and feel bad herself somehow?
Derp,
I thought it was all fine. The only part that she could take offense at would be when you talk about pro vs. amateur and if so, her thin skin would have caused her to leave a long time ago.
As others have mentioned, when you're "sarcastic" (as an example), it's pretty obvious.
It seemed to me like you were just being polite in your own way and not wanting to burn any future bridge as already said in case something changed.
Personally, I would have just politely said thanks, I appreciate the invitation/offer, and said I'm not looking for or interested in that at this time but will keep you in mind if anything changes.
No problems or issues as far as I read. Good job Derp.
(Any Identifying information has been removed)..
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Appreciate the email.
I can't see how this arrangement would work with a provider. I wouldn't be a priority, I'd be the steerage bulk rate or the standby passenger at the airport hoping for a spare seat.
The other difference between a pro and an am looking for a SD is the attitude. A pro is a full p4p, the money is expected. The am's I've dealt with are usually only seeing one guy at a time and are EXTREMELY appreciative when they get some green or a gift.
That's the general thoughts on the matter.
My personal thoughts on the matter, and although I'll try to not get too "personal". I had enough of a hard time just scheduling an appointment with you (that never happened, mind you) when you were starting (redacted). I spent two months trying to set something up, then got over it.
If you do happen to set something up with one or a couple, I hope it works for the both of you.
Derp
Exactly what I wanted to say but couldn't find the words...less is more!
CENTER End of Message/CENTER
why even bother with a reply? I think it's different if this is someone you had been seeing a long time
on a weekly, biweekly or even monthly basis. Ladies love regular visitors and an offer such as this from someone you see on an ongoing basis would be beneficial to both parties. Receiving this type of email from a stranger would make me suspicious and cautious.
She sent a nice enough email and I felt it deserved a response. Funny someone mentioned "Thanks, but, no thanks." As that was my first inclination. I honestly felt that would have been the coldest brushoff I could muster.
Sugar Baby? Kinda the 2 extremes.
Is she on here by chance...
http://www.sugardaddie.com/Home/join/?gclid=COn8vIiqvb4CFedFMgodUkYAJg
I counted many on there that have been providers.
Wad
... then her letter is a suggestion testing the waters not a real proposal. At best she's trolling a number of options, at worst she's sending out a form letter to her whole contact list because she thinks this is a route she wants to try.
If it was me, and since this may not really be a personal inquiry from her to you alone, I'd reply with a one liner -- no thank you.