I really thought that references from other providers was a standard screening process, yet tonight I've had not one but two people refuse to provide references due to a desire to protect the privacy of the provider. Ummm, what the heck? I've never had another provider be upset because I contacted them for verification. I've never been upset when I've had a request from another provider. Screening keeps us ALL safe! WTF

END OF MESSAGE

...or they are worried that the providers they've seen would not speak well enough of them.  It's likely to be one or the other.  A distant third is the rationale they're foisting on you.  "I have a reference, but I'm not at liberty to give it" is no reference at all.

If my P411 okays are insufficient, I don't see the provider.

if they had any sort of okays at all. If they're on TER they didn't share that info either, I think most savvy hobbyists know that the quickest way to a providers...heart, is through references and reviews.

Exactly.

I am a savvy hobbyist, and I while I write a few reviews, I have never had the need to give references or any personal information to a provider.   Nor have I revealed my TER handle.  But, your current post regarding the men who didn't give references, maybe simply a matter that they were surprised that you would ask for references.  On your web site, you only make one very  small mention that a "simple verification" is needed.  I suspect that if it were clear that you required a more diligent verification process, including references, you might not have encountered this problem.    
 

I think my TER profile has made more providers apprehensive about seeing me more than it has helped me. So I do not mention it. But I can see how it would help for the average user.  
 

-- Modified on 10/27/2014 4:25:11 AM

what could be simpler than references with the exclusion of no verification at all??

-- Modified on 10/27/2014 11:16:50 AM

What that sounds like to me, is the guy is afraid that the provider is going to give him shit about seeing someone other than her. Unless you see someone who is totally UTR- why is the privacy of the provider an issue? As providers, we put ourselves out there- we post ads, have sites, reviews, etc. And, as providers- we all need to stick together and help each other for the sake of the safety of the community. I have only encountered a few providers that did not give out references, and when I did it surprised me. I had to wonder how they were screening people, if they weren't comfortable giving out a reference. Which means, to me, that they probably DONT screen people.  

I know that RS2K isn't very popular anywhere but Chicago- but in a situation like that- I'd suggest that they join RS2K. But since it isn't widely used in MN, it probably wouldn't help for this situation. I don't understand why it isn't more widely used, because it is a fabulous tool to have in our screening belt

P411 also has the advantage of being based in Canada.

Now if she was asking for work or personal info that would be another.

" Unless you see someone who is totally UTR- why is the privacy of the provider an issue?"

Some things I have come across.  

1) When they are fine with the hobbyist but want to maintain a low profile at the time. Sort of a temporary UTR desire.  

2) When they have been having trouble with another provider.  (it's no only hobbyists who create trouble!)

3) When the hobbyist is sure he'd get a good reference but neglected to ask if it's OK to send others to them for one.  Some of us like to maintain a level of trust.  

4) When he knows the provider is moving on in life and isn't sure they want to deal with reference requests in their past life

I like 411 when the request or PM is read and replied to in a reasonable amount of time before the potential meeting time.

I see many different women. I'm not wealthy and blessed with unlimited free time so quite a few of them are a one time meeting. Not ideal for using as a reference and some might even call it rude. It can be a little confusing when to use what provider or how often to use her as a reference.  
Many times I don't get replies from my requests for appointments through 411 and/or regular email. So how am I to expect a lady who sees 5 or more different guys a week to remember my goofy ass?
I don't double and triple book and I don't make appt's that I don't intend to keep so many times I am left holding the bag (and the shaft) when a lady doesn't respond in a timely manner or is demanding more references.
I understand the safety aspect of this and respect your choice to deny a meeting, but how many f'n sites do I need to join and pay for before I can see someone without sending a 411 request, 12 emails, 8 text messages and 3 phone calls?

Did you asked for more than just other providers?  There were times when provider ask references from other providers, and I provide the information, then they still want my work info, dl, etc.  No way am I going to give personal information out.

and yet, some hobbyists are happy to give their personal information out. I have my face out on the internet, which certainly might be used against me. I don't know if hobbyists or providers are more at risk (though I would argue that providers may be) but I don't think there's anything wrong with asking for references and it will continue to be my standard.