Please pm if you'd like to meet for an hour.

Hi I'm urples' assistant.  He regretfully informs that he got a dildo stuck in his ass but when he tried to pull it out he turned his head and jammed it in his eye.  Needless to say he will be out of commission for the rest of the year.  Sorry ladies!

Hahaha!  Love it.  It didn't hurt that much.  I rather enjoyed it.  Very kinky.