Hey everyone .... i have been around for a while and now back again since a hiatus after an injury that has and still does have me somewhat non functional......anyways , i have reached out to see a particular provider and her scheduler has requested references, which i provided, TER info, no problem, and now she is requesting a copy of my license with my name and photo on it ..... i can block out address and numbers but just the request seems a little over the edge. Has anyone had this happen or what is changing?? I do not see a ton but i have never had to do much more than just write something to them in the past and i have gotten in and other than one nuru massage lady, i have never had any trouble being invited back due to a good time......could it be my walker and canes that scare them????  ... just curious

to see a provider who wanted my work info. I refused  After some time she no longer requested this. Its not a trend.

Providers don't give their real names, why should you?  Makes me wonder if it's LE...

... September, October and November, 2014, unless none of those women is willing to give you a reference, I don't see what the problem is. Korrine is correct that ladies have an absolute right to insist on the information they need to be comfortable before providing this very intimate service. You are also correct you have a right to give only that information you are comfortable giving. Sometimes the stars just don't align. Move on. Maybe try again in a couple more months, with a few more reviews, if you are still interested.

If you are uncomfortable giving you personal information to a provider, you could give it to p411 instead.

I'm a newbie at this and I thought a long time about the same thing. I'm not a lawyer, but my thought was that giving my personal information to a provider is not an illegal act and regardless it seems more likely that law enforcement would rather draw me to the location and bust me there.  

The asymmetry of the etiquette is interesting to me. Hobbyists (hobbits?) get to see pictures up front. Providers get real names, employment status, etc up front. I personally don't mind giving out real information about myself. It adds to the intimacy I feel. However, I can understand why providers keep it secret and I respect it.

I have a P411 account and never gave them any of my personal information.  I was referred by an established provider and that was sufficient.  

I would avoid giving any provider my image.  Names. addresses and phone numbers can be innocently explained away (not saying always successfully) images of a driver's license or other id cannot.

Avoid giving any provider your real information, the downside is simply too great

As if she couldn't go look at who he's reviewed and see how obviously harmless he is

It is up to each provider to get the information she needs to feel comfortable and NO ONE should judge her based on her needs and opinions

END OF MESSAGE

If a provider is well-reviewed and has a really good reputation in the community of behaving above and beyond, then it's worth the risk.  I insist on good references.  I have made VERY few exceptions.  However, in those cases, I need all the information.  I COMPLETELY understand your hesitation and respect any hobbyist NOT giving any of that out.  That's just MY deal.  

Everyone has their own thing.  I suggest asking the more well-established providers that you are interested in are willing to take.  You can trust them.

TL

please do not get me wrong i am not judging her for her effort to screen, i just have never been asked to provide that before and i seemed it was over the top ....and since then my references came thru and i have been approved to schedule so a review will follow the visit ....i promise ...unless they do not want me to write one

What I was meaning is that she could ask any of us who saw him in lieu of needing to show his personal ID.
I don't think it's right to demand a gentleman's detailed personal information seeing as he has more than enough info out there proving they're okay to visit with.
In all my many years in the hobby and not one problem, it seems overly paranoid IMO.
I suppose that's just me being level headed and an easy going provider, not wanting to hassle people too much in order to schedule an appointment.

 

I avoid requiring personal info because of the fact it's quite easy to forge employment & such. Too many times have I seen a lady say "well his ID & employment checked out, I didn't know he was really LE ." after getting popped.
 The only time I've ever seen a P411 account get compromised is if the person willingly gave out their log in from there.
 So to me, it's not as great like having a few solid references are IMO.

I had to use personal info because I had no references. I might also have less to lose than some people. I don't have a significant other to hide from and I don't have a prominent job to lose. I suppose it could really suck if in the future I was subject to a background check and I had a solicitation on my record, but that's not typical in my line of work.

Most of the time nothing will come of it but I've heard too many tales of of what can happen if the wrong provider gets a hold of someone's personal info and then things go south.  In the end it comes down to finding someone whose screening requirements are compatible with what you are comfortable meeting.  You have to be willing to talk away if you are not comfortable.  And that goes for both parties.

I just wanted to say that I appreciate your level headed and reasonable approach. I would be equally concerned about meeting a sociopath at a gas station just to sell a $20 item on craigslist. Hence, I use my gut instinct and some common sense when reviewing my interactions (text or email) with the individual before meeting. If it doesn't feel right... I just say "sorry its already sold' or just don't respond. I am not a "provider" and I obviously understand that they have perhaps more to be concerned with than a guy selling items on craigslist, but it's not entirely dissimilar.  

Common sense should be more common...

I've dealt with more sociopaths in real life from trying to sell or purchase things on Craigslist than in the hobby that's for sure !
If I say a gentleman is harmless, I mean it.
Sometimes being overly paranoid can make it so we get in our own way to success.
That's my POV.

I am glad that you have never had a bad experience but a lot of ladies have .........and even by hobbyists who have gobs of reviews, no blacklists and top tier provider references.    EVERY lady has a right to ask for what info she needs to feel comfortable just as every hobbyist has a right to refuse to give that information.  In my opinion, there is no right or wrong way to go about screening a gent.    If and when you are ever forced anal, have a guy show up with a gun, is high on drugs and alcohol and therefore unpredictable, or have the crap beat out of you, your screening requirements will change.  I can guarantee that.  Easy going is great until you meet that one individual who fucks with you and turns a good thing into something scary and bad.   It's not paranoia if you've experienced the dark side of this hobby.   Harmless to you doesn't mean he's going to be harmless to the next lady.

Don't get me wrong.........99% of the hobbyists are great!  And no blacklists and provider references increase your chance of things being fabulous.   There is always that chance though.  There are no guarantees.

-- Modified on 12/21/2014 8:22:42 AM

unless you are brand new (which you are not) or if your info cannot be verified.  Plus not all ladies are reference friendly.  This is especially true of agencies (plus some ladies simply don't accept references from agencies).  Maybe in screening you, something spooked her or her intuition is telling her she needs more.
If it doesn't feel right to you though, it's not worth the risk

thanks for the comments and of course the reference was great too !!

i never thought that this topic would generate this much GOOD info and i am satisfied by my new found information and the reference from a top tier hottie......Ms M Happiness in coming to my rescue with a stellar saving referral, that sealed the deal happy hobbying and happy holidays.
watch for my Christmas story review......coming soon

How sweet, thanks for the kind shout out.... I consider you not only a true gentleman -but also a friend.  
Your attention is always good natured & you even go the extra step w/ur frequent surprise gifts.
....now please don't ever change  

 

 

Well said. I look forward to more of your responses on here as this board needs more posters with some perspective. Happy holidays sexy!

for reasons that make no sense the people who dictate morality feel that what adults do in their very private lives is something they should control.  if that were not true everyone would freely communicate their information just like you would to see a chiropractor.  For men we risk arrest and embarrassment, if we are not careful and check people out we could meet one of the armed robbers but that is a black swan.  For a lady an arrest could destroy a life professionally but the real risk is so much greater.  I don't need to list the young ladies found in that trunk of a car... we all know what can happen.

My point; for the guys, use your head, check for some history and you should be fine.  For the ladies we need to be more considerate.  The risk to a lady is so high that what ever she needs to be comfortable is what she should get.  A photo of a drivers license is something I would not agree to but I would not be critical of the lady if she asked.  Something like a referral is a minimum.  If you do not have provable references YOU OWE HER WHAT EVER SHE NEEDS TO BE SAFE.  A link to a Linked in or something that can verify that you are a real and safe person before she opens the door is reasonable..