I have read many wonderful first greetings from our seductive female providers.  
A well-written and interesting introduction attracts me even more than pictures. Gents, both are important, but what first impression tickles your fancy most, her pictures or her writings?  
For eroticism and fun, isn't that why we are here? I hope to lighten moods with this, my PRETEND come-on and parody.

 ALL OF THE NAMES AND INFO ARE IMAGINARY.  
   
GENESIS:  
You're feeling unfulfilled, but then miraculously, I appear. ---- I am a rescuing apparition, observable inside as you open your medicine cabinet.  
Looking keenly at you, I say, "Ma'am, it looks like you haven't been getting your feminine recreational desires met well."  
You say, "How do you know?"
Then suddenly you say, "Hey you're that guy! ---- That My Jungle Gym Sim guy!"
I say, "That's right and I am here to give you the best gratification of your life."
Looking both appreciative and happy you say, "ahhh." ---- Knowingly, I smile.  

WELCOME:  
Hello, I am Woodrow Fitzinwell, creator of Myjunglegymsim; you can call me "Woody." Like you probably have, I've also visited many of the playgrounds out there. I wasn't finding an invigorating match for my capabilities either. So, I decided to invent my own unforgettable adult playground right here in my home state of Minnesnowta. My masculine diversion is meant to attract beautiful and fun-loving ladies like you who are also fitness minded. I strive to provide a unique home-grown excitement for every type of female swinger out there. I promise that Myjunglegymsim will be the best and most comfortable amusement that you have ever grasped, handled, clung to, and climbed on, bar none. Actually, it has taken me a lifetime to fully develop, because I want Myjunglegymsim to be everything you could ever want in this gripping form of entertainment. Complete fulfillment is now within your reach.  

ABOUT:  
I see you've been hanging out with heavy metal types lately. The trouble with these steely gym sorts is that their makeup is overly temperamental by nature, either frigid or way too hot to handle. Even the outwardly attractive synthetic models with seductive looks are only a tease. These barely legal plastic phonies may come with inflated assurances of satisfaction, but their characteristics are insubstantial, underdeveloped, and only superficial; they don't stand up ably on deMANd and often go flat when you have a MANdatory need for performance. Get rid of those losers. That's why I have created Myjunglegymsim from sturdy organics; it's furnished with soft outer skin and proprietary innards that also include my patented hardwood fill. My flexible design structure is set at a consistent 98.6 degrees and adapts precisely to the wonderful curving contours of a woman's figure. I am always aiming to keep my playground instrument and your escalating intimate needs perfectly aligned for the greatest mounting MANeuvers imaginable.  

Yes, after a sizeable amount of rigid research in connection with the female gender, I've concocted this most enjoyable way for you to get your heart rate up. My innovation comes with surprisingly few directions. In fact, my gym's MANual is straightforward and to the point. All you need to do is be yourself and add in your own feminal human nature. Discover personally all the ins and outs of what my configuration has to offer.  

Oral greetings, warm-ups, coverings off, hands-on, swinging about, climbing over, stretching around, straddling components, and sliding away are some of the great ways to savor and practice playtime moves with my build. Eventually, though, you will want to gravitate toward your favorite workout position, be it teetering on top, sprawling out underneath, or any scene that's in-be-tween. After your intense gymnastics, you'll want to hang around off to the side of my layout. Sharing a laugh and snuggling up to your newly found hunk of MANufactured framework will be devilishly comforting and emotionally rewarding as well.  

Among the appealing aMENities built into my user-friendly design are a permissive receiver, a responsive sound system, and strictly confidential surveillance. Auditory stimuli from you will always be appreciated and given full attention. An interesting reply to what you shared will follow via my nerve center's speaker format, which is presented in the baritone range. This kind of advanced intelligent communication is congenial to one's lonely soul and enhances the all-inclusive oral skills attachment we here at Myjunglegymsim crave. On top of that, a pair of deep, blue-colored lenses will be constantly observing and monitoring you as you playfully move around my park. From this observation and further sounds collected by the receiver, my complex network of MANagerial sensors can constantly measure and evaluate your level of happiness and enthusiasm, which should only surge as Myjunglegymsim services non-stop to heighten and then meet your workout requirements. You will finish your sessions feeling refreshed, yet serene, and still radiating a beautiful smile from the euphoria of your personal ascending and accompanying high-pitched vocals. So come, be an ultra-happy playmate of mine.  

STATS +:  
In development for 39 years times five, divided by four, plus or minus a couple. Erect, my brawny structure stands six feet tall and weighs one hundred eighty pounds. Looking very handsome in any setting, you simply won't be able to keep your hands off my setup's enticing features. And trust me, you will have even more fun exposing the statistics of my assembly's additional parts once you receive my top-secret clearance.  

At the beginning of our engagement, my formation will be wrapped in your requested covering or something stylish and inviting that I have selected with you in mind. All sessions are personalized to not just delight you; I want to raise the bar. Uncovered, Myjunglegymsim has a New York vanilla ice cream coloring and the same rich texture, but sans the calories. My apparatus was conceived in the USA and is composed of 100% organic matter. It's hypoallergenic, ergonomic, reliable, and always super clean; the outer skin is conveniently hand-washable and dryable too. Tested safe for mature women of all ages, my motto is, "Play hard, butt safety wise".  

And finally, because my outstanding unit is built to blissfully endure any kind of MANipulation you could possibly think of, I back my proposal with a very unusual form of extended warranty, and it also comes with a complete satisfaction guarantee or your money back. So, you have nothing to lose.  

IDEALLY:
Sweet lady, I am honored to still have your attention. Since you are looking for new and better action, please let me show you the ropes. I pledge that my alluring hardware will reboot your underutilized womanly software, mind, body, and soul.  

If you want to get in touch, think of this new intrigue as your own private MANdate and go for it. I would love to communicate and then screen to see if your data fits in well with our preliminary belief that my offering and your desires will match up superbly. Hopefully, a demonstration at my showroom or out at your location will ensue. For delivery in the field, Myjunglegymsim is partially disMANtled and sent C.O.D. Arriving fully prepped and sanitized, my MANly embodiment can be unwrapped, uncovered, erected, and ready to entertain lickety-split, especially if you lend a hand.  

I think once you get a sampling of everything my playground equipment has in store, you're going to want to become one of my very special clients! Then spontaneously, I sing out, "For the best monkeying around experience in the whole wide world, visit___.org."  

SINcerely Yours, Woodrow Richard Fitzinwell - xoxo  

P.S. Again, IF I really had a web site address, I would want it to conclude with dot.org. Just like how all truly satisfying and happy encounters should end. ---- Be well!