A well-known provider here on TER publishes a blog on her website. Recently, she blogged about Meet n' Greets.
She brings up several points I believe merit open discussion. I am declaring "amnesty" for this one thread, so it can be discussed in an unfettered manner.
A link to the full blog has been provided for proper attribution.
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Excerpts:
Due to a change in TER protocols, the excerpted text originally provided has been removed by Admin.
-- Modified on 4/13/2010 8:38:36 PM
Interesting read. I never attended a M&G but I never thought there would be guys acting the way she described. Very immature.
At no time did I ever find gents offensive. They were always kind, appreciative, and respectful. Even those parties where I don't necessarily see eye-to-eye with some of the gents, feelings were set aside for the evening and the party was fun.
The most stress and disrespect I have experienced at M & G's is the flakey providers who beg for an invitation, and then no-show. To me that's worse.
If you don't like the way M & G's are organized or the vibe you feel while there, the simple answer is "don't go".
This never happens at my M&G's anymore. Yes once, I had a agency owner who was acting as a pimp trying to get other ladies to join him. He was told by me to stop, and if I even thought he was doing it again, he would be required to leave. As far as mistreating ladies, nope, not at the Atl M&G's. We all are there to have fun, meet and greet, and to be the gentlemen and ladies that we are.
I am posting the request for RSVP that I send out to all prospective attendees, and if the rules are not followed, they are either asked to leave and not invited again, or told to stop and again, not asked to attend again. It is very simple, we are gents and ladies and we will conduct ourselves acordingly. Have fun and hope to see you soon. JPW
RSVP for the Atl M&G
Please read carefully the following in it's entirety, PLEASE!
In order to insure an adequate level of privacy & security and to make things more comfortable for all concerned, recipients are blind copied with the location. This means that you will need to make sure that mail from this sender is not filtered out because your address is not the primary "To" address. (This has been a problem for hotmail users).
A few words concerning invitations and "passing the word along"...
The Meet and Greet will be a "by invitation only" gathering. If you would like someone to be invited to the meeting, suspect that someone is inadvertently being left out, or are planning to bring someone with you, please let me know within an adequate amount of time and an invitation will be sent after a reasonable screening. Yes, everyone is "screened" . if a person does not receive an invitation, it is either because they did not clear the screening, or they did not send in proper information.
Spreading the word, or telling a friend or business associate to just show up is not appreciated by many of us and ...well, frankly, rude. Please do not bring someone who has not been invited. They will not be admitted.
Furthermore, the locations are private for your information only. Do not under any circumstances disclose the location. NEVER, even if you know or think the person already knows or should know! Any violation will cause you to be removed from the invite list. This has happened in the past and I will remove you from the list. It is for your and our safety.
I feel a responsibility to my friends to maintain the security and comfort level of the group. Being aware of who is attending, making sure that they are aware of how we get together & under what conditions, and ensuring that we get along as a group.
This is a social, no grab a**, no uninvited contact, PERIOD. No business, funny or otherwise, is conducted during our socials. What you do before or after the gathering is none of mine, or anyone else's concern. We are simply a bunch of friends, getting together, sharing some libations, lies and if you wish, dancing.
Also, you will have to commit the social's highlights to memory, since photography is also not allowed. No cameras or cell phones with camera capability allowed.
This should go without mentioning, but just to be crystal clear… There are many people involved and in no way will they be jeopardized by someone bringing,distributing or selling illegal items at the social. So please do not even think of bringing with you any drugs and NO DRAMA. We have been very successful in having get-togethers where everyone leaves their problems behind and enjoy themselves and the company of friends,that's what this is all about.
We are all adults , so we will conduct ourselves in that manner.
Gentlemen: The guys have been graced with the ladies presence, and are expected to show their appreciation by sharing in the tab. In the spirit of fairness we are requesting that each gentleman start off the night with a deposit. The plan is for the deposits NOT to fall short of the tab.
The Meet and Greet will be ********** ******* **** PM. Please RSVP by *************. And PLEASE do not ask for an invite unless you plan to attend. Just wanting to know where it is downright impolite and annoying and you will be dropped from the e-mail list.
But then I only have my view as an hobbyist. I can say with certainty that I was at this same event, but from my perspective it did seem like a nice cocktail party with normal social interactions taking place. Yes, I did chat with a few providers exchanging small talk, but treating them with respect. Also bought drinks for several ladies who just happened to come up to the bar simply because it seemed like the nice thing to do. Granted this is just my perspective, but I was watching the crowd and I didn't see anything going on that seemed rude.
However, this is just from my viewpoint, so I can't comment on the experiences the provider detailed on her blog. We will need to hear other viewpoints on this to get a better picture.
I almost do not know what to say. The rant by a well-known provider gives one pause. In my experience, M&G's are a mixed bag. I've been to many in NYC, a few in Vegas, and one spectacular one in Orlando. The latter was the best... 
-- Modified on 4/11/2010 1:39:11 AM
It was a fun party with a great mix of both ladies and gentlemen. No one was rude or crude in any way and found many new enjoyable friends. Both Keystone and Bob knew I was a newbie there and tried to introduce me to others. I have been to 4 more parties since then and all where good experiences.
I am now ready to move from the Central Florida safety net to a world beyond. I think going to a Meet&Greet is a good safe way to spread my wings.
Kisses Haley
We've been having combo Blogger Parties and Meet-n-Greets for over 3 years.
Always a nice and civilized crowd!
Once way way way too crowded, but since we've toned down the invites....
Every now and then too many drinks create for s little "cat fight" but nothing more than words....
Maybe it's the guest list and how they are screened that adds to a situation like the one described?
Then again there are always 3 sides to every story, his side, her side, and the real side.
Oh well.... Party on!
And they are always wonderful.
Kwasi is a great host, the people who attend are always polite and fun.
I haven't attended many M&Gs..but you have always been a great host and I have enjoyed the chance to meet lots of good people!
Then my original post on the thread which I self deleted.
For the record, Jenny has never attended any of my M&G's. I don't know which ones she had attended to formulate such observations.
At the NYC Mixers, I see almost none of the attitudes and 99% of the time the gentlemen are gentlemen, and the ladies are ladies. However, there are always going to be exceptions. Any time you put together a large amount of people and mix a little alcohol there will be a small risk of unwanted behavior or attitudes. In my opinion, this is no different then any corporate party where there are different personalities and not everyone is going to like everyone.
The focus on the negative aspects is what escapes me. This hobby of ours is not a utopia. It never has and never will be. M&G's are supposed to be parties where we can mingle with "our own" and have some FUN, some laughs and enjoy ourselves.
As my fellow hosts can attest to, putting these parties together on a large scale is a very substantial amount of work. We can control who attends, but we can't control each individual's attitudes and behavior 100% of the time. We are all adults and everyone is supposed to act accordingly.
As far as Jenny's blog is concerned, it should be noted that her opinions and observations are hers.
Credibility and weight of her blog is for each of us to decide.
I have never been to one. I have been cleared to be there but was called away at the last minute.
I have heard so many stories that I have been tentative to make another attempt.
While i understand the need for alcohol to loosen up(not everyone),the overusage could very easily cause some issues.
I've heard of bad/good behavior from both sides of the coin.
This isn't the first time Miss Jenny has taken the pesimistic route.
I can appreciate Jenny expressing her feelings
and I think she has that right. All these M&G's
are what they are, based on who hosts them.You are either going to have a classy evening , or an evening surrounded by trash.She had a bad time
and isn't afraid to post about it. Kudos to her.
I've attended parties where the host has his or her favorites and what those favorites say to the host ( don't invite so and so ) or start drama whining to the host during a party crying that someone should leave, while continually upsetting a room full of people and the host complies ( because he/she is a puss) and troubled just the same. I've been to parties surrounded by only sexy classy upscale men women and host where no drama happens and my time was worth attending.
But then again a place for everyone and everyone in their place. Bottom feeder parties are conducted in my opinion so there is "someplace" for them to go which helps the better hosts out there by keeping them off his or her list.I have a few get togethers a few times per year and we keep the class upscale avoiding drama makers and people who say and do hurtful things keeping the sleaze, drunken wild crazy gossiping low class rude and troubled whiners out.It takes time to select the style and class of people to attend but it is well worth the efforts in the end.If a M&G is based only on volume it WILL have complaints.
I think there should be a review section or board to rate the best M&G where members are allowed to express feelings.I like Jenny's blog and if more information were shared it would help hosts who really do care by dismissing troubled individuals to keep the guests happy.You cannot have upscale and trash in the same room and expect an evening to end on a happy note. Oh no. Some hosts stoop so low as to insult his or her own guests be it at a party or on a board owned by the host , where only insults and drama are posted. So I consider who is hosting and I decide from within.Sounds like Jenny attended a party hosted by someone who can't choose guests wisely, and that does happen . Its easy to just dismiss ourselves from these types of hosts because in the end it really is all about the reflection on the host for seeing the problem and doing nothing about it if not feeding into it themselves.
Angela
There are parties where the host laughs about it is the worst behavior that one can show. I've come to the conclusion that the parties that are
very public
Well said, and I also know she has not attended any M&G in Atlanta nor anywhere I frequent. I also think the blog is nothing but blog and suspect!
I HAVE attended 2 M&G's thrown by TBM and TTO. I didnt see ANY of that neg stuff going on. It may be the people she interacted with but at the NY ones it was like seeing old friends each time, talking about reg stuff and add the attractive atmosphere of the ladies present and you have a successful M&G.
For the most part, everyone has a good time, and boorish acts are few if any. I've attended a few that were held in private venues, where things got a bit out of control, but that is not unexpected. Also, at the last one, things did not go as planned at the end, so it was on the whole disappointing. That is why I stated "mixed bag" in my earlier post...sometimes the reverse happens, so you never know.
As for the credibility of the blogger, I would think it is high. She is a veteran provider, and probably had a negative experience at the M&G in question. That shit happens, as it can at any party. It's her blog, and she was most likely venting...
I don't Jenny and don't know what parties she has attended but at the 20 odd parties I've hosted, co-hosted, promoted and attended there has been a grand total of two, just 2 unpleasant incidents. Neither of which was very serious. The first involved keeping out a gentleman who arrived heavily intoxicated.Security handled it swiftly and quietly and almost nobody knew there even was a problem. The second involved a number of complaints from several ladies that one guy was "weirding them out". He was spoken to and when he didn't mend his ways, he was swiftly ands quietly removed. That's it.
I have always been impressed by how well behaved everyone is at these events. Better behaved than at many "corporate" type events. Everyone is uniformly friendly, cooperative and respectful. It's rare for anyone to even get drunk.
So our friend Jenny needs to get out more and come to a NYC M & G.
Interesting thread. I have not yet attended a M&G; but I hope to in the future. It seems to me to be a very nice way to meet some other hobbiests ...and more importantly, some providers. I would think interactions with the providers in this context is far different than, say, a session. I'd like to get acquainted. FWIW
they only part their legs for what's negative.
---Jim Carroll
this one hits below the belt.
I went to one from another board since it was close to my office. It was my first one and having a nice time. Then some idiot started taking pictures of all the ladies, seemed innocent. A few guys kicked him out for doing that. The rest of the time, I was concerned that he had my pic.
Being the new guy, it was hard to mingle. A lot of the ladies gravitated to guys they knew and did not want to talk me. I bought one lady a drink and she went and sat with another guy.
I spent the time sitting by myself and getting tibits of chat with various people.
Jenny's blog is harsh on us guys, but the chicks, from my one experience, have been rude as well.
Never been to a TER one, not sure I would ever go to another one cause of what happened to me.
I think part of the problem is that the hobby commercializes sex and social interaction (not that other things don't do this, either, but that's a long discussion outside of the scope of M&Gs). People react differently in commercial contexts and social ones. For instance, you don't pay a friend who invites you over to dinner the same way you'd pay to go out to dinner at a restaurant... but if it's a potluck, you do bring something over.
I think that sometimes, people get the attitude that just because a lady is pay-for-play, that somehow she doesn't deserve to be treated with respect- it's open season for grabass... or that the guys attending are basically ATMs with joysticks. Kind of dehumanizing. I would hope that parties and social events where hobbyists and providers find they can enjoy each others company as human beings might help make things a little more humane. We live in a world where we're pretty alienated and depersonalized, and in such a world, it's pretty easy to treat people badly (I suspect a lot of the shitheads on TER are much less likely to say what they say when keyboards aren't involved and faces are, for instance). I like to think that meeting people in social contexts where there's conviviality helps that- it lets us know we're a bit more than hookers and johns. That doesn't mean "yay, time for freebies, we're BFFs"... but it does mean let's try being good to each other and having a good time together, since we're all in this together.
I do see boorish behavior at M&Gs... but talk to some nightclub employees sometime and see if you see stuff much different. People doing drugs, people having sex, people getting throw-up drunk, jackasses trying to impress the ladies, Guidos, wallflowers and so on. Not really much different than what you'd see at a M&G. I don't know if that should be encouraging or depressing, to be honest.
-- Modified on 4/11/2010 2:39:00 PM
I had to add to this one. A good host is key as well. TBM is always around to answer the "who is that?" question and then intro you to her. Just that little extra makes me cant wait to attend his 3rd one where ever and when ever it is.
I recently was at a meet & greet in a city where I knew very few people. I am not particularly shy, so I sought out the host, talked to many people that I did not know previously to that evening, and had a wonderful time.
I believe it is only partly the responsibility of those that know each other to be welcoming, but more so on the unknown stranger in their midst to seek out and talk to those they would like to meet.
My only regret was the lovely gal pouring me wine was too efficient.
...it must NOT have been in Vegas! I wonder if she'll continue to attend M&G's, assuming she can get on the list??
I was at the M&G in question. It happened to be my first. I did not personally witness any of the behavior mentioned in the blog. I'm not saying things didn't happen but from what I saw and heard from others that were there, the majority of the men and women were kind and respectful.
I hope a couple of rude people or a social faux pas here or there doesn't give the impression that this was some sort of fraternity party gone wrong. I don't find that this type of event is any different than any other so-called "civilian" event in that people should be treated with respect regardless of who they are, what they look like or what they do. If there is a particular person that is not being appropriate they should be called out and dealt with at the time of the incident or they should be identified on the appropriate boards here.
I did not even know that Meet & Greets existed, this is an eye opener for me. I would like to thank you for trhe insight, and know to be myself and have fun, and not be someoen I'm not (I'm not good atg than anyway).
I would like to know about these parties in Miami or CHicago. How do you learn about them?
I've been to all kinds of parties, lunches, socials, meet and greet's, etc. over the last 5 years.
Jenny brings up a lot of interesting opinions on the guys that are at these parties, and I agree, there usually are those types. But, I don't believe there are that many. There are also many, many others, there to have fun and to meet others with the same interests.
All parties I have been to haven't been the same as the other. Some are, small dinners, bowling, go karts, cocktail type, and house parties. Some have gotten pretty wild.
Yes, I've seen the guy with the fancy car, making sure everyone saw him, I've seen the guy trying to make a legend of himself because he posts on a message board, I've seen the girl on way too much something. There's the groper, the drama queen, who needs to cry to get attention at every party.
All in all, I have a lot of fun and get to meet some great and not so great people. lol. I thank all the hard work and time to those that put these parties together to attend. If I'm around, I'll probably go, you can find me in the corner holding up the wall.
Well Jenny & Angela sounds like may have picked the wrong party (the 'Trash M&G') I guess it helps if you are familiar with the host/hostess then you know whether it's gonna be drama, BS, or a good time.
I've been to half a dozen or so M&G's they've all been memorable and the gentlemen and ladies all have for the most part been WAY more civilized and cordial than those I encounter at 'civvie' club parties or corporate events. The guys are going out of their way to be polite and the ladies are, well, over-the-top sweet & sexxy.
It's a 'Meet & Greet', not a 'do-me-now-baby-I paid at the door'. Sure I get a hug now and then, but I don't expect to be 'serviced' at a M&G...and the only time I felt like an ATM was when I asked that tall dark chick from New York if I could buy her a drink and what she wanted, it was like $18.00...Wow how about a PBR next time honey? But I bought it, brought it to her, smiled, chatted and played a little pool. My pleasure to bask in your sunshine, sweetheart ... welcome to Las Vegas!
I've met many many charming ladies, local and visiting it's a looong list and I have never ONCE gotten any 'attitude' or badvibe from any of them...they have ALL treated me like I was their friend, sometimes like a confidante, sometimes partner-in-crime, nothing more (well at the party anyway~!) Although I believe Marie DID grab my ass once or twice! I never felt like I was being sized up (as in a mark), and I hope you ladies feel the same...sure, I'm def checking you out but damn! I love you ALL. If I had a big house and a pile of bens we'd ALL be naked by the pool!
If not for the Meet n Greets would I have met Monique, Tasha, Marie, Sage, Melody, Webbie, GinaXO, Breanne from NYC, Eve from Chicago, Rochelle, Erica, McKayla,(wow she can really dance!, Jenny, Sixx, Kimberly, Adonia & her sexy girlfriends, Audrey (no trouble), Asian Honey, Rebekah with that 6' tall accent, I mean REALLY?? How many girls that you meet at a 'club' will actually SHOW YOU that tattoo they talk about? "Your name" huh that is fckn funny Jenny! Where else would I have the opportunity to be in the hot-tub naked with Rochelle Richards and Erica Stone & me the only guy?? That's a real wet-dream! Not to mention the Gentlemen...Doc, B3, harley, brad, dave, Quzi, that nice Oriental fellow from SF (welcome to Vegas) & all you other playas. Some of you nice gents from out of town it's fun to chat & help to navigate Vegas. It's amazing the misconceptions visitors have about the 'Reality' of LV!
These are real people, and most are real SEXY people, and I really enjoy hangin with them at the M&G's. The ladies I've met are NOT the 'in it for the money' or 'hit n run' or 'upsell' or 'I'm the hottest' or agency types (no offense Zack or SD, you've proved out). Sometimes they even forget the envelope...scuze me hon, um, that's YOURS! Everybody has expenses, I don't mind helping out my friends - however, whatever.
And I've brought a few newbies with me to M&G at times too - Gia, Layla, Paris (oops!) and a couple others I thought the guys might like.
I guess what I'm saying is YMMV, even at the M&G. Come ready to party, don't be afraid, leave your attitude in the car, be nice, and take your trash out with you when you leave.
And don't expect any Patron for breakfast...it'll all be gone!
Green for Pink, what could be better????
JP
I think that Joe's comments are right on regarding the M&G's and what goes on there. I've only been to a few, but the experience was just a great group of people kicking back and having some good conversation over some drinks and food. A lot must depend on the organizers and their ability to manage the guest list and the general behavior of the crowd. Mutual respect is the key to a successful event of this nature.
As far as Angela's comments go, I believe they may have been taken out of context. In chatting with her she had no specific knowledge of the event which was referenced in the original post. With that being known, her post must be interpreted in a totally different manner.
Thank you to those who make the effort to plan and organize M&G's so that the rest of us can enjoy them. Keep up the good work!
Thank you yes my comment was about a few in general
that I have personally would not grade or give a stellar review it was how you say? Clickery? LOL!
But I've come to know better people in the community and have a greater level of appreciation
of those people.Bond being top notch I have never met Gonzo and I would like to attend one of his in the future. I can tell you I have met many wonderful people across the globe .Atlanta, Boston
New York, and much more to mention and can only
say that a couple of parties were not ones I
would "desire to attend" again and have much etiquette to be had.
Angela
You are the competitive one that has to kick everyone’s ass at bowling, go-karts, etc.
Holding the wall up is Imallin’s job.
The gentlemen who come to mine are great. Maybe I'm lucky. Nyc has some nice gentlemen. (and bridge and tunnel folks).
I did have two incidents that had to be dealt with....in which I dealt with.
There are also some women that don't know how to conduct themselves too, they are never invited back.
Octavia
Ok,
I wasn't going to say anything about this, but this is kind of sticking to my craw.
First, the M and G in question was a party I hosted. I'm sure if you go back in the threads, you can figure out which party it was.
I've done a lot of these parties. And again, if u go back, u'll see that my parties have gotten great responses and great reviews.
I screen pretty damn heavy for these parties. However, I have no idea how the hell you screen for "grab ass" and rudeness. Hell, my ass was grabbed by several providers at the party.
The guys that attend my parties have attended several of my parties prior. Some of them have attended parties that Jenny has hosted. Nobody has said a word to me except for one person about any issues they had with a gent. The moment I found out, he was blacklisted.
While I have no doubt that Jenny is speaking the truth, I really think that her blog was uncalled for. She basically took 1 or 2 incidents and applied it to the whole party. I received one hell of a lot of private and public thank u's for this party. I thought everyone had a good time. Guess I was wrong.
I am really disapointed in you Jenny. I've known you for a long time and I thought the least you could do was talk to me about it before posting your blog.
My two centavos.
Bond
I've hosted and co-hosted some 25-30 of these events, big and small, and have attended many others, especially Bonds parties.
In all that time, I know of only 4 individuals who were any sort of a problem. Three involved providers who got drunk, and one was just an asshole who got dumped by the provider who brung him. And frankly, only those who were directly involved even knew anything, as security kept a lid on it, and the party continued unabated.
I was also in attendance at the M&G blogged about, and I sure didn't hear of anything to the extent expressed by Ms. Demilo. So yes, I was taken aback, and very angry at the contemptuous and denigrating nature of her tone.
These events, be they public venue mixers like LA New York or Chicago, or hotel suites and private homes, like those wild n crazy Vegas parties, are supposed to be unfettered fun and frolic for one and all. At the core of these parties and of primary concern for the hosts, is the safety, security and well-being of the ladies. I've always liked to believe the gents who attend our events open the door for a lady.
But the essence of her message once you filtered out the piss and venom, that the spectre of mysogyny is prevalent at Meet n Greets, that was a question that I felt merited discussion.
Are there really so many providers who feel as she does about the gentlemen who attend these events?
I found it hard to fathom it is as prevalent and commonplace as she would have you believe. Maybe "out there", and maybe with a low-brow crowd. But I refuse to believe it happens to that extent with the M&G's we announce and support through this forum and TER. I don't buy it.
I've met Bond and I can attest that he is a very nice upscale man and he is very thoughtful of
his guests and carefully puts a party together
just by conversing with him.
I am only sorry I missed his last party. I know
for a fact that Bond does care enough to ask that
people dress nicely and be discreet.
I find it also hard to fathom that such activities took place at his parties.
Very sad to say the least.
Angela
I wasn't going to respond to this thread. BUT, I wholeheartedly agree with Bond0, Doc & B3. My experience with M & G's have been very positive & sometimes downright amazing. I am a conscientious
hobbyist (which may or not be the norm). I do my homework i.e.: chatroom dialogue,reviews by other hobbyists, private communication w/providers, & most of all M&G's. I attended the aforementioned M & G, & I have to admit I saw mostly shy, nervous hobbyists with a good mix of high profile, self-aware hobbyists. Of course, there probably were some jerks,but you get those types at any gathering of opposite sex attendees. For myself, I found it to be a wonderful opportunity to see which providers (new & old friends)I could click with in person. I found some, who I had thought about seeing, who after meeting in person, that perhaps we should not meet privately. I also met a provider who I had not contemplated meeting prior to the aforementioned M & G, and scheduled a rendezvous, which turned out to be a fabulous experience. I just feel M & G's are a very important part of hobbying. Plus we get to relax & just have fun with other people (providers & hobbyists alike)in a party setting. As for Jenny's blog-I have nothing but the utmost respect for her & am very sorry she was exposed to some classless boorish behaviour
There are good parties and bad parties. Good people and bad mannered people. BOND put on great meet and greets. I found some of those at the party not my style. Either ladies or gentlemen were not someone I would spend my time with in any social setting, but that normal for social gatherings.
That said Jenny's blog was of a personal point of view and she has the right to express her personal views, feeling, and experiences of the parties she attends. Anger was one of her feelings and as we all know feelings cannot be disputed. Whether they are right or wrong.
I myself have had wonderful times at the parties and valued BONDS effort and experience. Several ladies I would never seen have heard from me. I only review rarely and keep most of my ATF's to myself.
But if there were to be a review of M&G's, BONDS L.A. M&G's would rank the best. A little less alcohol and a little less bravado on the part of some may be in order. But damn, sign me up for the next one Dr. G.
Having Hosted 3 parties in Tampa, we can say that we have had a very good group of people.
We have only had one complaint from guests about the behavior of another guest.
We have a reputation for having a low key, casual, cocktail party atmosphere that our guests seem to like.
We have heard no complaints and many compliments from our guests, so we must be doing something right.
We also have kept our guest attendance lower than some other parties as we feel that the smaller numbers, 30-40 people, makes it easier for people to mingle.
We would rather have smaller numbers of guests who had a great time, than big numbers of guests who got lost in the crowd.
As a Host, if a guest had any complaints about a party we put on, we would expect them to be upfront and tell us so we could make whatever changes might be called for. This includes any inappropriate and rude behavoir by any of the guests.
You guys outdid yourselves. I am proud to say I
know you and look forward to your next one.
Angela
I have attended 2 M&S's already and will attend 2 more in the next month and I am never experience any such behavior. I am meet good people for both hobbyist and provider. At last party I go only have one girl who drink too much and make fool herself, but all else was great and men very gentlemanly. In my small opinion she either is exaggerating or outright lie. I do not know which, but I personally look forward to every M&G I am privileged to be invite to.
Most of the guys there are rude. That's why I won't attend anymore of them.
different manners and conduct. But I've certainly never observed anything near what is being described in Jenny's blog. Hmmm...I have escorted ladies to M&Gs before...Often will hook up with faves and go together...often have taken ladies new to the scene to their first M&G at their request as they are a little more comfortable going with someone and being introduced around than walking in alone. Never occured to me someone might be judging me...just thought I was being a gent. I've seen both ladies and gents get a little playful at M&Gs...usually later in the evening when the booze kicks in...but rudness?? Nope...never seen it. Can't help but read sorta of a attitude in Jennys comments. Too bad her experiences have been so negative as though we've never met I've always thought she was a class act. I am sadden to think anyone has treated her in the manner she descibes. BTW...I wonder how she feels about having her blog posted?
I attended the party with Jenny. I don't know why this is just now, being posted on here. Its been over a month ago since the party or her blog. Bond is a fabulous host, throws a very nice party and screens. I don't believe the blog was meant about bond or his events. I've had a few different ladies contact me in the past year when attending his parties that helped him with the screening. Actually, Jenny is how I knew of Bond in the first place because I had first attended one of her parties. I was however, abit hesitant entering this particular party because there were ALOT of black & white cars outside. Being I use to live in the area, I was familiar that this was a regular occurance. You know how LA is one, block is great and 1 block over you have trouble. But my heart was still skipping every other beat. I meant to inquire later, as there had been another board party somewhere where LE were invited.Yikes...you must always be on your toes.
I'm an x bartender so, drunk obnoxious people are to be expected at a bar. Infact there were obnovious & over intoxicated boys and I knew them...of course, typical. I'm not surprized. I as well met, several not only nice but good looking boys, seen some I hadn't seen in years, some I had met recently. I had a great time and was proud to walk in with Jenny as my date....she's got a super hot body and talented....I don't see the problem here.
Just to clear up the issue with LE. Unfortunately, that night, LE decided to set up a Drunk Driving Checkpoint very close to the venue. Thats all it was. I was surprised as any to see them out there. They were gone within 1 or 2 hours after the party had started.
Just wanted to clear that up. They never once asked to come into the venue.
Bond
at the same time other people have other experiences at adult social gatherings expecially when its a P4P setting,Not everyone will have the same experience and I don't think it's fair to
Slam Jenny and post her "copyrighted" blog here for that purpose.
If you don't like what she has on her blog by all means don't read it,but who is anyone else to say what kind of experience she had,Not everyone has a great time,this is her opinion of her encounter at a M & G.
While I would never have blogged about it if I didn't have a great time,I wouldn't expect someone to take it upon themselves to declare that my feelings on the subject were out of line.
Just my opinion ..
Have a great day all
Leigh
She wrote about her experience on her own private blog. She did not bring her experience to this public forum as you have. She is entitled to her opinion as you are to yours. I find it extremely near sighted of you to think that everybody attending was a perfect gentleman. They are some who were not and have not, and never will be. That is why they need to hobby.
I just don't see the need for this post. In my opinion it is mean spirited and unnecessary. Take her opinion for what it is worth and try to learn from it. We all have room to improve and grow.
only suggesting there were some points worth discussing. I did not read any judgement there. Certainly, some of the follow-on posts have plenty of that.
I tend to go with the thought that she is marketing away, but in a way that could possibly bring some undue attention to our hobby. Playing with matches in a house of tissue paper, as it were. I doubt it's quite that extreme, but you get my drift.
In some ways, I think this is like the "public service announcements" about YMMV based on your hygiene. It is unfortunate, but some folks need regular reminders about their behavior. I am sure everyone has met someone at a M&G, or ladies had a client, that look like this was there one yearly foray from their dungeon, or from behind their keyboard...
1. Yes, the behavior described in Jenny's blog post does occur. I have been fortunate to attend a few private functions in a market that I frequent and the parties are extremely classy, flirtatious but tasteful and I've never felt encroached upon. Before attending one given by this particular host I had sworn them off because I no longer enjoyed having non-clients grabbing my ass or drunk attention-seeking women attempting to stick their tongue down my throat.
For every classy M&G function there are others which aren't so much. Additionally, unless you have eyes in the back of your head and you're omnipresent I don't really see how you could be privy to every single occurrence or interaction at a party, even as the host.
Even upscale functions have participants who exhibit boorish behavior as described by Jenny.
At the last party I attended I watched a client (I'll reserve my judgments about his appearance, shape and demeanor - but let's just say if any provider met him off duty he wouldn't get a second glance) sneer at a 5'4, 140 lb/size 6 or so provider "Oh, nice to meet you. You're too BBW for me" and then skuttle away.
Literally.
Excuse me, but would you call that classy behavior? Let's face it, M&Gs are opportunities for clients to judge who they would like to spend time with without spending a dime- but I would expect that adults would behave with more grace and style. She didn't even ask him for anything- she merely smiled and shook his hand as they were introduced. It was an astonishing display- and par for the course for some M&G participants who can't take a "night off" and just enjoy a party like a normal human being with others who have a shared experience and lifestyle.
2. Jenny's blog is public fodder given its presence on her professional website. I cannot say that I agree that the subject material is savvy marketing and I've always said that it's not very smart to sully your professional blog with negativity BUT- apparently her market and clientele appreciate point of view on goings on in her business and perspective on the hobby-at-large.
What gives you the right to use your authority to present her blog here and open a nasty, slanted slam on her perspective? Is it your right as a client?
Unfortunately, when you accepted a position as a moderator, you gave up not only the right to write reviews- you also agreed to being impartial, unbiased and to make relatively responsible choices in terms of what you put into the TER atmosphere.
I don't know you or Jenny but judging by this display here, I think that you need to step back and check both your ego and your anger.
You read the blog, you took it personally and you let your angry self make a decision unbecoming of a person in a position of visibility here on TER.
Bad form.
This thread should be deleted by administration.
The nice part about a forum is that many points of view can be presented, examined, and debated.
I reread the opening post and it did not state a point of view but opened the discussion. Granted that opening could be thought of as coming from a perspective.
It has been an open discussion and certainly a couple of sides have been expressed. I personally think that is good for a forum and should not be repressed.
I would maintain that all these points have value and should be available for reading and commenting.
I would not disagree with the purpose or function of a message board as you have outlined in your thoughts nor would I disagree that various, differing points of view should not be repressed.
However, this "discussion" was not brought forth by a general member- it was brought forth by a Moderator.
They are not permitted to post reviews for the duration of their time as moderators for a reason: the potential for bias.
Why should they be permitted to create slanted discussions which directly link to a provider's professional website and blog which could have an ill effect on her business?
It would have been quite different if Dr. Gonzo posted: "Here is a perspective on M&Gs, please discuss".
However, the wording of his original post was contentious ("It's time we all had a nice chat about Meet n Greets?" lol, why? Why should we have a chat about a specific provider and her personal perspective on M&Gs? Her perspective is her own and present on her website which she owns. Her comments clearly aren't representative of all providers so why exactly should her specific [negative] thoughts be the opening of a discussion?). In a subsequent reply he admitted that he was offended by the blog entry and created the discussion out of anger.
"...So yes, I was taken aback, and very angry at the contemptuous and denigrating nature of her tone..."
"...
Are there really so many providers who feel as she does about the gentlemen who attend these events? ..."
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=8447&boardID=42&page=1
So what we've really got here is a Moderator angered by the fact that a provider DARE think that some participants of M&G functions are losers and so he links her website here giving her heaps of negative publicity from across the nation which she likely wouldn't have received without his "discussion".
Let's get something clear- I do NOT have an issue with the subject matter or the discussion of behavior at M&Gs or provider perception of activity at M&Gs.
I DO have an issue with a Moderator carelessly creating and linking to a provider's professional website and blog on this public forum because he is "angered" by what he's read and expects other members to vilify her along with him because of her comments.
If you or any other client had posted her thoughts this would have been an episode of "charge that to the game"- if you maintain a blog and you make controversial statements you may very well be the topic of discussion on a public forum. However, we're talking about a moderator who let his angry self make an impulsive thread which was truly dedicated to one provider and her attitude.
Creation of this thread was irresponsible goes against one of the tenets of being a moderator- impartiality. This isn't a Dungeons & Dragons discussion board- this is a message board which affects the very real livelihoods of human beings.
I have a serious issue with moderators who use the boards to push their personal agendas or involve the public in their petty vendettas- I hope that this clarifies my position for you.
It does restate your position, I happen to disagree with some of your premise.
It wouldn't take me very long to find you examples of opinionated moderators who actively participate in discussions on TER. In fact, I think a number of them are the best moderators on TER.
...But of course that is my personal opinion.
I didn't say that Moderators shouldn't "air" their opinions.
What I did say was that for a moderator to bring forth a specific provider's blog as a discussion opener, which he admitted was out of anger, is irresponsible.
This thread was not an exercise in maturity or impartiality.
People don't write blogs on the Internet in order for them NOT to be read or commented on.
We're all big boys and girls here, and people can judge what we say and do and come to their own conclusions, I think.
I also tend to think that being a TER moderator, as a "position of authority", is something like a bad joke. Really, it's a message board on the Internet. That and $0.75 gets you coffee at the 7-11.
If you aren't contributing there, you have no basis to complain. BTW...you're good at complaining, in every post! lol
Of course people write blogs for attention; I maintain a blog when my website is active and my writing has repaid me in dividends and brought about several clients who are "my type"- exactly what I hope for in a client.
Jenny writes sensational things, has posted many staunch and controversial opinions and has aired personal grievances before.
My comments do not speak to the purpose, intent or motivation of keeping a personal or professional blog.
My comments speak to the fact that a Moderator, a person in a highly visible position of assistance and example and someone who can effectively set the tone of the discussion board decided to open a discussion motivated by a specific provider's comments because of his anger.
I cannot emphasize enough that Moderators are not permitted to write reviews for a reason. If they cannot write reviews on a review website then why should they be permitted to make thinly veiled discussions about specific providers and her attitudes? If he had phrased the original post differently and hadn't have made his follow-up comments- I would not have cropped up in this thread and we wouldn't even be having this discussion.
You don't think that being a TER moderator is a "position of authority?"- tell that to the dozens of providers shaken down or intimated by former moderators or to the hundreds of TER members who've watched moderators come and go over the years setting the tone of their respective boards with their moderation style.
I don't know if this thread should be deleted by administration. If Jenny did not give permission to post the link to her blog, then I think it should definitely be deleted.
However, this thread has been very informative to me because I've never been to a MnG. I'm hoping to attend the upcoming MnG in LA and get to know the providers of the LA area and have fun. However, I don't know what to expect. I don't really know what's going to happen there. Given the nature of it's purpose, I'm guessing it can't be like a "normal" party. After reading the perspectives from some of the providers, I will definitely be on my best behavior and treat every provider I meet with class and dignity.
If someone writes something on the Internet for public attribution (which it most certainly was), it's fair use to link and discuss, within fair use guidelines.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fair_use
In fact, someone tried to post the entire blog post PRIOR to disclosing who the author was. I denied the post for precisely this reason- it needed to be credited to the author.
...a genius! Way to pump um the ratings during "Sweeps Week"!
EOM
Ladies such as the blog author are what they are by their own choice. Deal with it, both the ups and the downs, or stop doing it. A "prettier" word for it does not change the fact that you do what you do.
bum rush because you cant pay the bill? Manners are expected at restaurants and other establishments.
I have been to the last two M&G in LA and the National M&G this year in LV and a few sponsored by froups on another board. Each one is better and better for me.
All the women that I approached were friendly and a couple of them even danced with me, two of them making a cabeachbum sandwich then giving me my first three way DFK when I was leaving.
So I say to anyone, if you haven't been and you are friendly, come on out to the next one and politely mingle, you won't regret it.
Being a newbie and never been to one, I am planning to go to 3 M&G in June.....lol
.....so I would guess there is some "truth" to both sides and some "fiction" as well.