Well hello baby.  You are a delicious sight to behold.  Mmmm baby, those lips you got on you.   The upper ones baby.   I bet you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose with them things.  And my what a big tongue you have baby.  All the better to lick my lollipop like some 75 cent song baby, right?  And that esophagus I bet you got on ya, I bet you can swallow my sword real good.  And my what big pearly white teeth you have baby.  Well, let’s just leave them out of this equation baby.

Oh yeah baby.  Come on over here and suck me baby.  Suck me good.  Yeah baby.  Use them tools you got baby.  I love that saliva.  Ooh you going up and down like that.  That’s hot baby.  Oh yeah you puttin’ my whole damn dick in your mouth, nose in my pubes, chin on my balls, BABY!

Oh my god! Baby!  You’re gagging on my huge dick baby!  I’m not surprised ‘cuz I’m so large but Omigosh!  Don’t worry baby!  I’ll save you baby!  I learned how to do this CPA stuff once from ‘Baywatch’ baby!

Come on baby!  I got to drag you off this bed so I can work you on the floor baby!   Damn you’re heavy baby.  You mustof been eating a lot of Twinkies that’s for sure.  Here I’ll grab you by your hair baby!  Stop screaming baby!  I’m trying to save you!

(FWOOOMP!  Baby hits the floor)

Ok baby I got to give you mouth to mouth baby!  Don’t worry baby, it’s kind of like DFK but I got to blow you up like a balloon.

(the King gives 10 rescue breaths, now baby really looks sick)

Stop trying to bite my tongue baby!  And that screaming and that thrashing baby!  I think you choking baby, like on my real huge dick, remember baby?  I got to give you the himelick thing.

(the King picks up baby and gives 10 forceful abdomen thrusts, baby yorks up her lunch)

Oh that’s much better baby!  I bet you’re feeling good now baby.  Now I got to start your heart baby.

(the King throws baby back on the floor on her back)

Ok baby, I got to give you chest compressions!  Damn baby, it’s hard to find your breast bone ‘cuz these huge artificial tits you got here.  Stop yelling baby!  If I don’t start your heart then you’re a goner for sure baby!  I tell you what!  I’ll just give you chest compressions on your huge titties.  I want to save you baby!

(FOOSHT FOOSHT)

Oh Jeez baby!   I think I just popped your titty airbags!  Oh shit baby!  This is getting out of hand!  I’m gonna call 911 baby!

(beep boop boop)

Yes please medical people!  You got to come quick!  You see this hooker was suckin’ on my giant-ass dick right?  And she started chokin’ and shit!  And I’m trying to save her and I popped her titties.  Baby please keep it down, the good people are gonna come and help you baby!  So you comin’ right now?  No I ain’t fuckin’ stupid!  Come to the Econolodge by the Red Lobster right now people! Second floor luxury suite I think.  (click)

(sirens approaching, police and paramedics bust in the door)

Ooh you guys got here quick.  And a lady cop.  Doin’ a man’s job ain’t you?  You are some hot piece of bacon sweet thing.  Did you bring the donuts gorgeous?  ‘Cuz I’m gonna give you some cream filling, hot stuff.  

Oh sorry, I didn’t have no time to put on my boxers.  Well you see my huge dick right here.  She choked on the damn thing.  Can you blame her though?  That’s the envelope right over there I give to this hooker.  I think she getting better but she was screaming a lot so I had to tie her up with these bondage toys and tape her mouth shut.  I hope you can save her titties.

What’s the handcuffs for officer?  You into that kinky shit lady piggy?  Well I know what that’s all about.  Maybe we can do that later my sweet little pork sausage.  I’m the King of Love and today I am a hero.  I can hardly wait to get my name in the papers.

-- Modified on 1/30/2012 10:38:56 AM