Several times over the last few weeks, I have run into a new problem.  Although visitors have schedule 90 minutes or longer to visit, they will stay a shorter period of time, only telling me once they arrive & not before, creating an excuse to leave earlier.  Then, they only pay for what they stayed, rather than what they agreed to.  The visitors are all repeat.

When I mention that I expect the full amount, I get two responses.  The first is an apology, saying will they will reimburse me on the next visit.  The second reaction is more angry, saying they are only going to pay for the time they stayed.

Is this common in the community?  Am I doing something wrong?  What should my reaction be?

Thanks for the advice,
Colleen

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Don't listen to that jerk.  If your going to do this act like a man not a sketchy cheap ass.  I guess he wants to take a stop watch with him so he knows precisely how much time has passed.

If you think Cayden is being greedy you haven't seen her.  She is indeed generous and one of the sweetest providers around.  That poster is indeed a jerk!

I'll have to agree with Cayden, just because your time changes doesn't mean your providers does.  They have planned for the time you agreed to.  You wouldn't like it if they cut you short or told you they only have 60min when you planned for 90min or 2hrs.  So be fair guys!!!  Thank for the input Cayden !!!

If she has such a low threshold for Blaclklisting a client, I would never wish to see her.
Any perceived act could end you up on a Blacklist????

Seems her post and attitude toward blacklist would termially dissuade clients.

I had the same thing happen to me recently too.  I wonder if it's the same person

Given the level of service that Colleen and Cayden provide, they are to be treated as professionals. My advice to busy hobbiests is to book weekends or evenings. If it's a matter of comming up with lies to tell your S.O., say you decided to take in a baseball game.

I don't see anyone here agreeing with you. If you make a 90 minute appointment, you should compensate for a 90 min appt.  Do you go into a restaurant, eat half your meal and expect to pay only half too?

I have twice heard complaints about you from providers- your username is an easy one to remember (both a blessing and a curse I guess). Both commented about you trying to get more for less--bargaining etc. Your comments here accentuate that fact.

And why are you picking on Cayden. I'm not white knighting and I haven't meet her (yet) but she has definitely come across as one of the nicer and most professional ladies around. Judging by the gentleman that have met her, YOU are way off base..

So I don't post much  
but Cayden you hit the nail on the head. And Coleen you don't deserve this.  Both of you are the class acts of Baltimore.  

Both of these ladies are true gems in small list of Balitmore providers that can make the grade

I have not yet had the opportunity to meet Cayden, but I have contacted her via e-mail and sent references.  I can say she seems to be one of the more genuine people i've contacted, her reviews are very good and lastly she is fairly easy to reach ( she is also very attractive).  She seems to be very helpful on the boards especially to newbies, even when asking basic questions..   So lets play nice, and Cayden THANKS for all you do!!

If you book 90 mins, you pay 90 mins or you are an outright thief.  We set aside the time that you reserve so we can't see anyone else during that time frame so yes you are ripping off if you only stay 30 mins and only pay for 30 mins after you reserved 90.  And yes most certainly this would be a blacklistable offense so the rest of the ladies know the rip off tricks you are up to.  You gents preach to the heavens about giving back to the community about reviews so be prepared for the same in return if you are ripping ladies off.  

If you can't hang for 90 mins, don't book it.   This is NOT a minor offense.  This is the same as holding somebody up with a weapon.  Stealing is stealing is stealing and it is a huge major offense.  So yes blacklist blacklist blacklist.  

To the OP make sure you get the payment up front and make sure every penny is there present and accounted for to avoid this happening in the future.

If you want an appointment, you book the appointment for the amount of time you can guarantee to compensate the lady for! This is not complicated. If you decide you can and would like to stay longer, you simply ask if that can be arranged. But if you make the appointment, you both have contracted to deliver. Of course things come up, but in that case, you discuss it BEFORE the appointment, and come to new terms of that agreement, or the appointment does not go forth.  

When we make our appointments, we, like the rest of the working world, must set aside a certain amount of time and energy for each client, and do so according to what our expenses are as well as our desired profit. If someone that I have seen before (as the OP stated) books a 4 hour appointment and I book a 4 star hotel, have a 2 hour commute, packed up the outfit/toys/or  whatever else he has requested, plus all my standard work gear, and he shows up only wanting to pay for an HOUR of those 4 he booked, I will be pissed. I have essentially wasted almost an entire day not even making ANY profit at this point despite having fucked the guy and wasting my whole day. And, it's highly unlikely at that point that I'll be able to recover the anticipated income the time I have already set aside for him (which is, of course, longer than the 4 hours, because I have to prepare myself and the room, and do it all again afterwards, so we are talking 6 hours of my day that have been reserved in addition to the earlier commute). At the last minute my chances of getting "I want an appt NOW" requests are unlikely, and even if I do get them, I probably won't have sufficient time to screen and approve the gentlemen. You have reserved time I could be seeing another client, being with my family, etc. Oh, and I am sitting alone in my hotel room in a sour mood now because my original appointment screwed me over!

So, yes, things do come up, but for those of us that are  professional and respect other people's valuable time, we communicate any changes immediately, we offer solutions, and we do it efficiently and with as much consideration to the other party as possible.  So, if you are that rude and cheap, and GREEDY, then please stay home and JO. We don't need you. Maybe a la carte hookers, 15 minute quickies, or a time card next to the ladies bed post complete with numbers as if you are in a deli line is more up your alley. Next!

 
I am not defending either side of this discussion. Instead of drawing parallels to other industry's -- especially a restaurant which has very little economically or operationally with the hobby, a hotel or spa visit would be more applicable -- try thinking of it on a matter of the principle of the thing.  

Do you pay for what you book or do you pay for what you get

to defend it are dead wrong. Seems like they're bringing up issues unrelated to the OP.

AND I can see the type of hobbyist that providers would avoid by reading this thread.

that is exactly right.  

For example, If  I book a 2hr appointment and get sick, get back spasms, get an emergency phone call and have to leave or whatever i still have to leave the donation for the original time.

How is that not obvious?

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This is a discussion board. You don't like it when people don't agree with you? Most here don't. You did not JUST voice your opinion, you used this as an opportunity to slam someone who doesn't deserve to be slammed
 And yes she is not paranoid, you have done it before. And yes I don't have any reviews under my alias because they are under my username. But we have seen several of the same ladies and how do you know they don't talk? One mentioned a bargaining situation you were trying to do and when another mentioned a similar situation 2 weeks later, I asked if it was you and she laughed knowingly.

And me stirring the pot? Please. You are the one that turned the heat up thinking it wouldn't be a problem. I just walked in the kitchen and realized you suck at cooking. Anyone reading this post will realize you are the antagonist and pot-stirrer.

No thanks about the pm. I prefer to enjoy this hobby and not get into the drama......

I used the restaurant anology off top of my head. You go in order a meal, eat only half and expect to pay only half? There arr certainly better analogies. The principle is the key. If with resonable advanced notice you say I only have an hour of time Instead of two, will you still see me, most would say yes and thanks for letting me know. Scheduling an appt for 90 and leaving and paying for only 60 is shorting someone.  

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You sir are choice. Notice people that he never denies that he is  a cheap bastard looking to see how much he can negotiate off a donation or change the terms of an appt. or that he feels women should feel fortunate to be graced by his presence if but for an hour when scheduled for 1.5hrs.
He just wants to know how I know. I never asked about you and I could honestly care less about  your activities but they were mentioned in the first encounter and I just guessed with the second. I'm sure you aren't the only one looking for a discount but your username stands out. I'm glad you are done with me cause I'm tired of hearing your crap.

You aren't 6 feet undet yet.  

Hilarious. A simple search of my previous posts -use search button-would show that I am not a trouble maker and highly unlikely to be a provider. (Are you going to now claim I posted all those times in the past from the perspective of a male hobbyist just to set up this scenario where I bash you?). I just don't like to see bullying.

As for my alias, no need to apoligize. Its available and I use it judiciously.  I decided to seperate my board postings from my activities to insulate myself from asswipes like you. I have seen many wonderful providers because i have great references- show up, on time, be a gentlemen,, pay with no discussion or bargaining.

You see that silence you hear is many of the lovely ladies from the DMV reading your posts and saying...no way...won't see him.  

Remember that when your emails go unreturned

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Do people like me that claim they will be an hour then pay for 2 cause your so awesome bother you

and most of the time I do not mind it, there are time frames when I have minimums though like rush hour or early or late appts.  But then I also have a set incall and do not have to eat a room fee so it is slightly different.  It still is irritating though but I certainly prefer the return business because I can lengthen and shorten things as needed on a whim.  

I will say though, if it happens enough times I may forbid the gent to book longer then that appt he always ends up actually using.  So yes, I have a few that I tell they can only book 60mins because never fails they will book 2hrs and then at 50mins they are spent and exhausted saying I am the only one who does that and wants to leave early.  For me, not a big deal.    

I can totally see if you are booking a super nice room(100+ for the date), he is the only guest of the day.  Spending the 2-3hrs showering, getting ready driving and whatnot making sure to offer a nice wine or even bottle water for rehydration the time and expense of that to then be told on entry by a return guest that he can only stay the hour(when you are out that hour, the 2-3 getting ready and the few hours it takes to shut down and drive back) which leaves you with only making 125-200 in most cases spending more then 6hrs between transit/readying/engaging/disengaging and then returning home.  NOT worth it even if you adore the man and lust his body.  

Guys, know that we know WHY alot of you do this(not me because like I said with a stadic it is different).  It is because you want us to accomidate you well, you want us to move the heavens to make it happen and if you promise a longer visit we are more likely too.  Some never intended to do the longer time but they wanted the super nice room, the great wine, and the 20$ porn payperview but your budget is not there for the multihour.  You know if you contact your choice provider asking for an hour she is going to be less apt to get the "good" suite, the "good" wine, and really go all out to look amazing.  Or she would not be willing to drive 2hrs get a room and visit and the only way to get her out to you is to promise the longer time.  Heard of it happening over and over but you know what it gets you, a bad rap.  Totally, the girls will have conversation about you, figure it out if it is an MO.  Your lady friend will let the lady who provided reference know what happened...  It can get nuts.  

My advice is just book what you are able, if she is unwilling or unable to assist you it is better then her being pissed she had to drive 2hrs, get a room for a 1hr when you promised 3hrs...

I've raised my hourly minimum because I have YET to schedule a one hour appointment that doesn't go 2-5 hours. The more I see a gent, the longer he wants to be with me. I've had guys that never thought they'd spend more than an hour with a companion doing overnights.  

Since these are all repeats, you must be good for something. And of course I mean that in a good way . Think about your previous dates with these gents. Are they the kind of clients that even book 90 minutes? Was the previous appointments longer than an hour and they ended up "moving" too fast? That would be my only reasoning for booking less time as a repeat client.  

Also I would recommend assessing your communication and vetting of your clients as well. I know the kind of client I gel with, and I know when a client is trying something outside of his normal type of appointment. I do my best to recognize and accommodate that 'different type' of client, and bring a bit of myself into the mix so he can see that difference and feel like it was money well spent. I don't knock a man for the length of appointments he enjoys. But when he REALLY wants to spend time with a woman, I want him to have me on his mind.  

But I think that it's okay if they change their minds about the length of appointment. At least they were considerate and actually booked an appointment. They could have just stood you up. Like someone else mentioned, you can't be this upset when they want to extend the appointment.  

As far as deposits are concerned, a man that really wants to meet with you will do just that.

After posting, I found out from other providers in the area that the same visitors are doing it to everyone.  It's their pattern.   It's almost as though they had a meeting.

They see the girl for a longer visit, do an over the top, great review, (in the meantime, he gets all of his verifications on P411, Date-Check, or White Listings) then on the next visit, they will leave early, not paying the full amount, promise to make it up on the next visit, then cancel the next visit.  By this time, the provider figures out what's going on & either decides to not see him or tolerates his behavior, but always on his terms.  That's one scenario.  The others vary slightly.

I'm glad you found clarity.  

I must ask how and when are these changes being communicated? Before your appointment, when he calls to confirm, or when he's in your presence? That would make a difference on how one could feel about it.  

The day before or within 4 hours would be an acceptable time to be understanding of his schedule and to shorten his meeting with me.  

If he calls to confirm less than 4 hours before the meeting and says 'you know I'm not going to be able to stay as long,' you then have the option to accept or decline the appointment because you may or may not have a better option, or you feel slighted by the change.  

As for him showing up for a 90 minute appointment, and slapping 1/3 of the donation in your hand/on the counter, you then have the right to turn him away at the door. Or keep the appointment depending on how you feel. I felt compelled to ask because it sounded like you're getting blindsided to the change, or you're not getting your money up front.

It still goes back to understanding this client and talking to references before you meet them, and putting in vetting measures to understand their Modus Operandi. This is still information that you should not have learned in hindsight, especially if these were hobbyists. I understand there are guys that will use you to get a foot in the door, and usually they reveal themselves pretty quickly, and you have the right to decline appointments with these types.  

While this pattern of 'playing' is bad, it's still not theft to me, and not worthy of blacklisting because he didn't hurt you, or wasn't the police. Public blacklists are no joke, and listing him on private ones not only tell a lot about him, but a lot about you. I once asked a man's ONLY reference why she gave a guy a Don't Recommend on DC, she said it was because he was sweaty, and he sweat in her face. I saw him, and had a sweaty good time too.  

He didn't owe you to reschedule with you at all, and that was lame that he would go through such measures to get a shorter session with you instead of being honest. Bad behavior should be reported to references, and to any group of women that you associate yourself with.  

Be well, darling!  


-- Modified on 5/25/2013 11:50:50 AM

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