The situation that I am in is very strange to say the least. I want to, in my heart of heart, do the right thing. And I have consulted some fellow hobbyist and some companions who have shown to be willing to listen. I am hoping to use this forum (which I believe is very active) to get some more information/ideas from both hobbyists and companions alike.

Below is a paragraph from an email that I have received from a companion with who I have just completed a duo meeting sometime within the last week. The companions are not from LA (and I don't believe either of them have visited LA). This email has nothing to do with the other companion in the duo.

 

"For these reasons, I've decided to stop seeing you as a client. While your gifts and gestures were very lovely, and appreciated, it doesn't make up for inappropriate, incessant, and boundary pushing behaviour.

Please refrain from sending me more emails."

 

Based on this little excerpt/paragraph, what can you derive/what story might you think have happened?  
I will let this post up and get sufficient responses, then I will jump back in maybe on Friday to provide more information so we progress into the next chapter. Thanks all for your help!

END OF MESSAGE

Based on the providers response, I'm guessing that the, "...inappropriate, incessant, and boundary pushing behaviour..." is the reason.

Are you saying that you have no idea what that behavior is?  None, whatsoever?

Not to belittle your frustration, which I am sure is ample, I'm not sure it actually matters why they've cut you off.

If you've made someone feel uncomfortable, that's their prerogative. If that means they don't want to see you again, that's also their prerogative.  
Granted in your mind, you clearly haven't done enough to warrant this behavior, think about this. You've done something that, to them, was uncomfortable enough to no longer take money from you.  

 
My guess, given the context, is that you've bought them too many gifts and they read it as you becoming attached.

MOVE ON!

Seems you may have been blowing up her email/text, coming off needy. And it seems you weren't a gentleman....but learn from it. Her reasons, for whatever they are should be enough for you to move along.
It just hit me, you're the guy that gives 10's like it's Halloween. Now it makes sense, you became infatuated with her, you were, in her eyes, stalking her. You basically creep her out.

-- Modified on 3/29/2017 10:00:35 PM

There was a thread last week where  you didn't seem to get it either.  Proof that you don't get it is you expect to have "more information" progressing into the "next chapter" by Friday.  What didn't you understand about "refrain from sending me more emails."  Its really not that confusing.   I think you're going to have nothing but crickets by Friday from her.  I could be wrong, but I don't think so.  

Hobbying is NOT a civil right.  If she doesn't want you sitting at her lunch counter, its her right, even if its blatantly discriminatory in your estimation.  She doesn't have to give you a reason.  I have no idea what happened, and I would even venture a guess only hearing your side of the story.  

...may have talked to the provider who doesn't want to see you any more.

but you posting this to the active LA board is consistent with  

"inappropriate, incessant, and boundary pushing behaviour."

My vote is drama queen stalker - you have obviously "creeped her out" somehow...

He posted this thread a couple of weeks ago on a different regional board.  I don't normally call out someone like this, but he seriously has some delusions of where the lines/boundaries are.  

I have no sympathy for some who comes on the board with a "poor me" tale and sees no wrong doing with his behavior.  The process is quite simple, see a lady you like. Contact her no more than twice to set up a meeting. Maybe once more if their is something specific that she offers.  You show up when you're supposed to, have fun for the time you arranged and than a quick note afterwards. That's it.  I can see this one doesn't know when to stop.  

Not more than two-three weeks ago on another board and here you are again.  

So now one has to wonder "Who ties your shoes for you?".  Are you that needy that you don't know when to quit? It's already been suggested to you that you are coming off as being a pain in the ass.  This lady's response to you only confirms it.  

Nope

She has listed "all my inappropriate, incessant and boundary pushing behaviors" in the email, and those all came to me as huge surprises, because the entire duo progressed smoothly and every one had fun, with longing goodbyes and "can't wait to see you again", filled with lovely chats and the confirmation of "can't wait to read your review and get me excited again" talk.

Maybe I am just so "fucking stupid"

How many emails do you think it will reasonably take to coordinate a duo, in a future date, in a different city from your home city, including snack/dinner before hand, and snacks during, while having moving parts in time/exact meeting location, for two companions who have not met each other?

that is possible; define "too much", because this companion had used social media to demonstrating using one of the gift cards that I had given her, she then also sent me an email on the same day to thank me for the gift, with appreciation; and this was just 2/3 days right before our duo.

I think you are right on, assuming that the person who "sent" me the email is indeed the person who I met, that is the problem I have; the rest of email in both tone, language, composition, are very inconsistent with how this companion has come across in person.

I only emailed her to arrange the duo meeting; and because she is in different city, it takes time to get a duo right, if you want the duo to happen, due to many moving parts.

No I don't email her just to check in; I am busy arranging other meetings to take place in the future.

You are right that there won't be any emails from her. I don't expect any.  

My concern is that the person who sent me the email might not have been her, and I have very strong reasons to speculate on that. When you are sensitive to someone's writing style and composition preferences, the email I received did not resemble at all the other emails that we have exchanged.

I have a conspiracy theory that is difficult to prove, given how "modern" and "reliant" we have to ourselves on emails.

I question the authenticity of the email that I have received.

I have indeed asked the other companion's feedback

"I thought our meeting was fine"...

"I hope we can meet again in the future though as I always have a lovely time."

These are direct quotes from her.

And precisely because of this other companion, and how different it is from the one who had supposedly sent me the email, I am perplexed as to even how to write a review.

I have consulted TER and they agree that the post meeting email/communications could be included in the review, if I were to write one. I just don't know whether that is the right thing to do, particularly when I question the authenticity of the email that I had received, and I don't want to use one review to potentially put a huge dent on someone's main job as a SW.

I agree with you. I have chosen to go through a car wash, knowing it will be/hopefully cleansing.

Great that you like binary, "yes"/"no", as life is black and white.

I welcome your suggestion/feedback, and the beauty is that I greatly appreciate your point of view. Keep being yourself and that is why I have come to this LA board to try to understand this situation that I am in better, also partially to have sufficient distance to where the duo actually took place (not Boston either).

This is clearly a post designed to give YBenL a forum for prolonged attention. Dribbles of info, shifting stories, inconsistent positions, flawed logic....  BYE BYE to this goofball thread and the goofball behind it.

I know a few Dous that could help cheer you right up!!

"Wow, the really escalated quickly"

worn out his welcome on his local board, so now we get the "pleasure" of his company.

-- Modified on 3/30/2017 7:23:35 AM

Don't let him email you.  I already have little use for this ass clown. If comes back a third time I'm going to start using the hash tag Got Rope associated with his posts.

As much as I enjoyed your company the last time and wouldn't mind rolling between the sheets with you again, I'm not going to be overly sympathetic if you complain about him pulling his little shtick on you or any other lady.

BTW, that tan line you're wearing is hotter than fuck.

Wanted to share the overwhelming euphoric state that this putz brings.

Tag LA, your it.  

PS - No we don't want him back and yes feel free to make some other poor region his crying board.  

May the odds be in your favor. Let the games begin....

END OF MESSAGE

Thank you to all of your advices, suggestions, blames, trolls.

While I appreciate some comments that are constructive; I also have read some with bad intentions.

The questions for those who had chosen to respond is whether you would recommend me to write a review of not and why/why not?

I have clarified with TER support and I am allowed to write a review and include the damaging effects of the post duo emails.

No it is not about crying, it is about not hurting the companions livelihood.  

That is the key reason why I have chosen to post on the LA board, because neither companions have toured LA before.

Thanks and jump in!

END OF MESSAGE

No Russian interference will be allowed. Cast your votes

She "promised"/indicated that she wanted to see me again soon; and the immediate email right before this LAST email she indicated that she "would love to meet with me again"; and less than 12 hours later I got the LAST EMAIL.

During the end of the duo, she was hoping we would watch a film together next time and she also guided me to help her get to a wonderful happy finish for her.

And the extra tip alone was sufficient to cover an extra hour of her donation and meant to help her with a personal need that she had indicated, via our emails exchanged. And I wanted to make sure I could do my best to contribute to help her with her needs, knowing how kind that she was willing to meet for a duo with this other companion she said she had been craving for.

This was in addition to the dinner before the duo and also other nice gifts. She had indicated she enjoyed my previous gift to her via social media and also a separate email to me to thank me and this was 2-3
Days before the duo.

Why should I not be confused?

It's a lifetime revocation.

As clickbait-y as this whole thing has been, I am morbidly curious as to what actually happened.

I have laid out for you what have actually happened from my side of the story.

It is strangest I have ever experienced and many things don't add up.

Thus I have purposely picked the LA board to leverage your experiences and imaginations to help me out.

I have several conspiracy theories; including that the companion that I saw as part of duo is actually a sub in real life to another female Dom; and I have very strong reasons for that because they have started doing duo's, and I have also met the supposedly "Dom" and not written a review for her, but I have met this other lady couple of times.

I have purposely trying for the entire thread to protect their identifies, including the choice of the LA board.

Or it could be that just this companion's acting skills is out of this world, or that she might be experiencing some episodes of mental high/low/bipolar.

As most of you try to encourage me, moving on is the right to do. Maybe that is the best thing I could do for her and her warning me to move away is the best thing for me too.

Some girls are legitimately crazy, but I wouldn't jump to conclusions.

 
I also have some very serious doubts about your conspiracy theory. It's too complicated to be grounded in reality.

 
The only thing you should assume is that something has happened, regardless of how inconsequential that thing is to you, where they no longer want your money, and money is why they're in this game remember.

You have an email from her, detailing what you did wrong. I'd seriously consider talking about what that entailed here if you do indeed want to have some healthy introspection.

Well, have you ever heard that a person doesn't see them-self as others see them?  I suspect that's what's going on.

We've all met people who are nice and generally good, but you can only be around them in doses.  From the provider's perspective, you could be such a person except she decided she has had enough of you.  Right or wrong, that's her decision and from what you said she wasn't vague about it.

Just write an honest review (don't be mean) and move on.  Or, do not write a review and move on.  You don't need to take a poll on that or continue to analyze what went wrong.   You had nothing more than a transactional relationship and it has concluded.  On to the next one and hopefully it will fair better and hopefully, you've learned something along the way.

We were flirting on social media and via emails before this duo.

Before she left the duo, she said she would want to meet again soon; and so was the very second to last email before this "don't want to see me again".

I will see about whether to share such information without disclosing their identities.

And yes I am trying to move on.

The supposedly Dom likely was over at her place overnight, right after that in the morning, I got the "not again email"

Yes it is time for introspection.

And yes I have learned that "let's watch a film together next time ...I will let you use my handcuffs and other toys" as in less than 48 hours later "don't want to see you ever again", and that is entirely possible as it had happened to me.

If I were to write the review, of course it will be objectives and I would lay out how I would come out with the scores.

And for any providers reading this,you aren't setting your best foot forward and sound rather scary. Red flags allllll over this.

What damaging effects could they possibly have done? They don't want to see you anymore? You should include that then!!

... than to have never lusted and paid at all.

Or are you thinking of taking the plunge yourself? Do you really the need a 10/10 review that bad....I'm sure your business would do just fine without him...or maybe not.
I gotta admit, I'm surprised that you'd put yourself out there....but to each their own.

And if I were to stay true to wanting to see her and making sure she is well, and taken care of, my writing a review, while is perfectly my choice; and allowed by TER rules to include the emails and how they have shocked me; won't help her a bit, in fact it would hurt her and I don't want to cause any harms.

Getting even is not my priority. Seeing that she is well is.

Even though the poor old sod has not discovered the true nuggets in San Diego yet -

 I agree with him on this - Give up your man card immediately and start seeking some kind of testosterone therapy...

Try Oingo Bongio - I think he may be a doctor of some kind...

Even AD seems to have switched her opinion on you 360 degrees during this thread...

Ha ha!

NO!!!!  Don't consider sharing any other information.  

No further introspection is needed.  You've already been at it for at least two or three weeks already.  

You ought to shut the door on this now.  In fact, I'm suggesting that you do not write a review.   Doing so will only keep you going on this runaway train of thought.

Ultimately when you "push the envelope" you will eventually piss off someone.  
Only you know what you did and where you crossed that line. Reflect on it and become a better person.
You have received very good advice from the community, Move On....

I hear you. Being a man sometimes means it is ok to not escalate and get into a lose/lose situation.

I feel pretty good right now just "walking away", and to internally reconcile that it is OK.

If taking it out on me after such closeness that we had shared multiple times make her happy/free, that just might need to be where the current chapter closes.

Thank you all for your no bar hold inputs! You all are great!

Yep moving on; I still don't know what I did wrong; and believe me when A lady says stop or tells me she is uncomfortable during a meeting, I would stop right away what I was doing. In fact I would even tell a lady play by play what I am about to do during a meeting, and this companion told me in person before she left our duo, in no uncertain term, face to face and she wanted to see me again soon!

And she seemed very happy with all the gifts she got and she said via one email after the duo that she would love to meet with me again.

So no I don't know how I tripped on all the invisible wires that I could not see or didn't know exist.

Yes, listening to you and others and shutting it down.

What part didn't you understand then that miraculously you understand now.  I get the feeling this is you usual method and that the only reason they are putting up with your shit is because you give them 10/10 reviews.  I'm sure if given the chance they'd rather have their sanity back and deal with a one off review score.

Let's see how long it takes it you to do the same stupid shit.  I feel bad for whatever unsuspecting regional board you land on because if you come back here or the other board, I guarantee my vocabulary will be quite colorful and filled with sentence enhancers.  

Now please go do us a favor, go play on a busy street.  

The hobby world needs someone like you to function. I won't expect anything less, or you might be getting old and sick.

Thanks again!

more to the story that your divulging?

is that you give everyone a 10/10, so you have no credibility as a reviewer.  If you suddenly write one that  is 6/6 or something near that, everyone will know there is some issue between you and her and its a retaliation review, which will be ignored by legit hobbyists.  

I wish there were. I think I might have found a way to write about it; don't know yet.

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

it is possible that someone else got control of her e-mail account.  It would not be the first time a mad boyfriend, girlfriend, or such did something like that.  There was a provider on P411 once that had someone get into her P411 account.  The person changed her rate to free and changed her phone number.  When I googled the number, I got a hit for an ad that had a large AA transvestite dude.  Need to say, P411 quickly suspended her account.   So I would not write a review on this issue.

-- Modified on 3/30/2017 11:00:31 PM

He pulled this same bullshit a few weeks ago on a different board.  Every lady who reads this thread or the other one should take note of what they should expect to have to contend with if they chose to deal with him.  

I think the ladies need to ask themselves whether the 10/10 review he always writes worth losing their sanity over?  

"why so serious?"

END OF MESSAGE

In that city within the last month, all clients' email addresses were taken, and each of her clients received an email from an address that looks and feels the same as the hacked companion's email (except just one misplaced letter), telling them their appointments have been cancelled and/or she did not want to see them anymore.

This companion also told me in private that she didn't trust some of the local companions in that city and she was very selective in who she is affiliated with on Twitter.

Couple of days before my duo, my Twitter following of the supposedly Dom had been blocked by her the Dom.

So if you are willing to think harder and see if things make sense, many pieces of what I had experienced did not.

Obviously many others commented here jumped straight into their usual because that is the easiest thing to do and I don't blame them.  

I have no need to subject myself to these tough comments about me and how much I suck, but this might be the only way I could get someone else's unbiased views and for me to try to sort through.  

Imagine one of your favorite companions with whom you have done duo's and one on one's tells you now "Goodbye"?

I don't find joy writing retaliation reviews. I believe I might have found a way to write a tasteful review while stating the facts as I know them. I mean the duo was so hot and awesome it will be a shame not to capture the play by play actions so when you choose to read it, you can't help yourself but go straight to "doing" whatever you do!

And that companion who "bans" me had wanted such a hot review too so that she could "re-use" it.

There are many ways to write a review and don't let your box limit you.

You are right on!

It is just tough to come back to reality or don't know which one is which as to what level of dream was I in?

When/if I do write the review with juice details, you will see why she is worth listing over. I think I look at this "ban" as her Dom is so near and close to her, that Dom must have her. I am not a Dom and don't seek such out, so while I am at a loss as to exactly what happened, I am not devastated as the Dom would hope.

And I speculate this Dom might have hacked other companions emails except they just don't know.

Too much of a movie script already

I think Jimi had the answer:

 
 "For these reasons, I've decided to stop seeing you as a client. While your gifts and gestures were very lovely, and appreciated, it doesn't make up for inappropriate, incessant, and boundary pushing behaviour.  
   
 Please refrain from sending me more emails."

osted 11/26/2016 at 7:50:19 AM
YBenL

Reviews: 41
This lady is so fine that the longing I had for her was rather unique, and her replies made the world right again and the temporary "pain" go away.  
 
Being smitten is an understatement.

Completely different lady and we had reconnected in both person and spirit.

Welp, looks like Mia did her homework, let's all pack up and call it folks.

If this thread doesn't end soon I am going to drop another 8 paragraph of a story on Ya'll to kill it off...

Did I ever tell you guys a date I had with a highly ranked girl here in LA - we ate a bag full of non-portobello mushrooms and ended up tying the knot in Las Vegas a day and a half later?!?

Just kidding.  Please don't.

This is how this guy operates.  He does stupid shit and then comes on here with the "why me" routine.  This is now the third known time he's done this.  He may have older posts that nobody has found on some other regional board.  

Now we really know the backstory.  If other ladies have read this thread, they should now be aware of this guy and be really leery of responding to him.  No 10/10 score can be worth having to contend with him.  

Thanks for chiming in. You can step all over me you want with your opinions, and how much you think I suck and how terrible you believe I might have handled the situation as a hobbyist.

By lying about my asking for major discounts, and how other girls have "NOT SO GREAT" things to say about me, you crossed the line.

I DO NOT ASK FOR DISCOUNTs, I DO NOT ASK FOR MAJOR DISCOUNTs, and I am not being pushy with the companions with whom I have met.

I have ALWAYS treated the ladies that I have met with respect, that is why this other lady's email was so troubling/a complete suprise for me, completely out of nowhere.  

I have nothing to hide on how I interact with the ladies. That is why I selected the LA board to ask for suggestions, because I know most would tell me straight up what they think/their gut feel, no matter how painful. It makes zero senses for me to even share such information and ask about feedback/suggestions, if I have any thing to hide about my interactions with this companion.

So either you forward directly the entire emails and take screen shots of all those emails that you claimed you have had about my asking for major discounts and always asking for discounts, on a public site and provide a link to this thread, for all to see, or you should stop your lies about me.

The other lady has the courage to tell me that she chooses not to see me, no matter how painful it has been for me.

It is a relief for me not to have met you in person at all. Yes I have complimented you on your looks when you had toured NYC and also when you have posted ads on LA board, and yes I had inquired to meet with you once or twice during some of my trips to LA. But by no means do I ever ask for discounts.

I bought this lady gifts, in addition to her multi-hour donation as posted on her website. I have also contributed a cash gift that is equal to her one hour stand-alone rate.

My advice to you is just STOP LYING.

You can say anything else to me, but not baseless lying.

Thank you!

END OF MESSAGE

Mia, whilst i get that you may have a bone to grind with the OP, i don't think outing his past reviews having given him a bad reference is a good idea.

References are given in confidence.

I haven't seen him, but if i had and he had written a review for me and you contacted me for a reference, and i gave him a bad reference, i would be pretty pissed right now that you would divulge this information on or off this board, regardless of the fact that you didn't name names.

OP, i really don't know what you hope to gain from your post. Your relationship with the provider was business not personal.

You're making it personal, let it go and move on.

If this was the other way round and a provider came on here posting about a client with whom she had a great time with, gave him the occassional gift and even otc time, then posted that he cut all contact with her, what do you think people's reaction would be?

Everyone would be screaming wtf, nut on the loose.

Just because it was you handing over the money/gifts, doesn't make this appear less cringey.

You've posted a number of times since then? Come on Cappy, admit it, you love a train wreck as much as anyone.

END OF MESSAGE

This ass clown repeatedly does this same shit.  I mean seriously, explain to me how person with that many reviews is completely fucking confused about how this world works.  

I am here to listen to different points of view and I purposely seek them. By coming to this board, I have effectively acknowledged that I was dead wrong in how I have understood this companion.

It drives you crazy to even read something that is so drastically different from what you are accustomed to.

You can't get away from this train wreck and you can only use four letter words to troll.

Hopefully you didn't flush your totem away.

Now go ahead and rant again to your heart's content.

 
I hope you could be more original, have your own thoughts and use your brain to think a little. And be willing to be wrong. Or you are wasting your own time in this world and it is not even fair to yourself.

-- Modified on 4/1/2017 6:32:04 AM

You might be right and it is me who is having difficulty trying to handle the situation, as it is presented. What was difficult is the timing. It is literally "hey we had a great time and love to see you again" to "bye and you have made me uncomfortable".

Also, for the companion, she might be meeting 10-20 other clients at the same week and would be able to immerse herself in other dreams/realities/fantasies. So what if one breaks, she still has 19 other suitors to please her and enjoy their companies, while completing as you said trsactions.

For me, once I had picked her to meet with and particularly for a duo, one would think that it was solid enough ground to have a duo. The other lady in the duo told me afterwards she had a great time and hope to meet again; this other one who I think highly of said "bye and no more meetings".

So the proportion of loss in terms of connections is much much greater for me; particularly if she kissed me goodbye and told me in no uncertainty terms when we parted let's meet again soon.

That is all. So it is not an exact opposite if switched and from her point of view.

-- Modified on 4/1/2017 6:27:38 AM

While it is painful for me, I can not change the outcome this other companion's decision not wanting to meet with me again.

I hope you all have or will enjoy reading all the comments to this thread.

If you choose to believe that such had really taken place, great and thanks for your leap of faith.

If you choose to think this is insane/crazy, you can blame it is April 1st.

Hopefully if I do choose to write a review of this encounter, you all who have chosen to give the companion the benefit of the doubt in your stances won't complain too much about the performance score, since it was truly memorable, including the GFE "break-up"

Now time to spin my totem and see if this is still a dream; when will the kick come in?

This provider has the right anytime to say no for any reason (gasp! Even if your dick was inside her she can still say no!). What do you not understand about that???? Sometimes people say nice things to be cordial and to make a quick exit. She obviously doesn't want to see you regardless of what she said at first. ..that is the only thing that matters. She has that right to do so and your sniveling,self deprecating posts are enough to make anyone put you on a DNS list. No money in the world is worth listening to your mindless babble. You asked for help and answers and you received plenty. Why isn't that good enough to move on and stop demonizing this poor girl?????You sound borderline obsessive and down right scary. I sure do hope this girl is saving everything' you sent along the way.

-- Modified on 4/1/2017 9:50:06 AM

All that being said...

He is a nut on the loose and this giant fucking thread is all the evidence you need...

I am with Mia on this one! Are you sure you guys don't want me to kill this off with a long story?

I actually had a date that lasted 3 days, we got married, robbed a liquor store together and the only sex I had was in jail after the robbery (and it wasn't any good for me at all)...

I am sure that whole story would even kill off this thread... I am just about to PM it to Jinx

Shaunna takes first place for her use of the words "cringey" and "whilst".

Tankbinding gets second place for not PMing me one of the strange novels that seem to occupy his brain.  I would feel compelled to waste time reading it.

Honorable mention goes to Mia for being such a sweet little bitch and putting things in perspective.

And since this is the modern era of inclusion, we all get participation ribbons saying what wonderful people we are.

And lastly, I think we all know who the loser is...

Pie is served in the next room.

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

Thanks for chiming in. I hope you will keep the same sentiment if you choose to the read the review I likely will write, and should have no problem whatever scores I will give to the review.

You are absolutely correct, "No" means no. She gave me permission for every interactions we shared during our duo. The other lady was also there to witness.

I have not "demonized" this lady. At which point have I said anything bad about this lady? At which point did I even accuse her of doing anything wrong.

I agree with you wholeheartedly that she should save any and all emails that have been exchanged between she and I and for all to see. She replied my email on the Monday following our weekend duo, saying that she would be "love to meet me again". That is after she left my hotel.

The other duo partner also emailed me and told me in clear language that she would like to see me again.

Every thing that she had mentioned about characterization of the reasons not wanting to meet with me again were no different that those leading up to the duo. And she had never referred to any of our interactions as making her uncomfortable until after that "love to meet me again" email.

Of course these are mindless babbles to you, as they should be, because whatever had taken place did not make any sense.

I had in the past walked right out of an appointment with an agency lady, after already having provided the lady with the full donation, and then sensing something was off in the air. I would choose not to make a scene, leave and de-escalate; and then shared the observation with the agency.

I am moving on and if somehow through this incident and my review of the duo would help her ascend even further/higher in the world of companions, I would be truly happy for her. I hold no ill will towards this companion and will always try to focus on the sweet moments we have shared and just have to overlook this "break-up", no matter how unfair and perplexing it has been for me/make me feel.