Hi folks - I'm a newbie but I'm posting here instead of the newbie board because it's specifically a question for LA people. I'd like to see my first provider but I'm wary of giving out personal information. I work in Hollywood, and while I'm by no means famous, my name is easily Google-able, and a simple web search could turn up a lot of personal information. On the upside, I'd be very easy to verify, but obviously my main concern is risk of public exposure.

I'm considering getting verified with DateCheck but I'm curious what info they would need me to provide. Same for P411. Or is it better just to contact a provider directly? Particularly interested to hear from hobbyists in a similar situation - I have to guess there are a few showbiz people on these boards, right?

Even if you do become verified through Date-Check or P411, many providers are wary to see a newbie who lacks references if they can't verify via employment themselves. (Law enforcement still occasionally manages to get verified through these sites, which is absolutely frightening, so naturally some of us are a little distrustful of a lack of references or a couple dubious ones).

I think your best bet is to read reviews, read websites and ads, and find a provider you like who you feel has a good head on her shoulders, is discreet and drama free. Most of us in LA have clientele in the industry (and see other easily-searchable professionals) and are extremely discreet and careful with the information you share. Reputable, high-ranking providers with pages of reviews have worked very hard to earn that status! Additionally, if you find a couple women you like, you can PM their reviewers and ask about the verification process or their impression of the provider's ability to keep information private. Good luck!!

If your main concern is public exposure, seek a professional provider who values discretion and there should be no issue. Sure, she might Google your name out of curiosity to see if you are who you say you are and if the person she Googles is the same person who will show up. You might be surprised by who some of these providers have seen. No reason to be afraid of giving out your information to a reputable, experience and professional provider. You'll be glad once you get the ball rolling.

Hey PoCinLA,

I'm in a similar situation as yourself, but if you follow some the advice from the posters above, you'll be okay.  Do your research on TER, find some local independent girls who are newbie friendly, and have a number of reviews.   They're going to want to have to verify you are who you say you are and they'll work with you on that.  Basically, they want to be safe as well.   Remember, these girls all have lives outside of this, and most want to keep this part private just like you do.   You find a girl who you like, and is legit and professional and take if from there.

This 'hobby' does come with it's share of risk, but generally, it's manageable if you keep your big head in gear and not let your little one lead.

PM me if you have other questions!  

Play Safe,

Dk

Thanks for the comments everyone - I'm easily spooked but it does seem as though choosing a well-reviewed professional provider, along with a little common sense, keeps the risk to a minimum. Appreciate it.

...and some ladies are better known for discretion than others. My best advice would be to make sure that you're doing a good amount of research ahead of time to ensure that she does have a solid reputation. Some ladies also advertise as being newbie friendly, and will be better equipped to handle screening in a discreet way.  

I'm always happy to tell gentlemen exactly what I do with their personal info if they want to know, & also how I destroy it, and I do tell them the very few things that I do keep (just enough to verify you with a reference check later or if they return). I figure you have a right to know where that info is & how it's being used (or in this case, not used) if it's out there.

 

And as always:
Create a new, fake email address & get a burner phone.  

 
Good luck!

also in the biz...been seeing girls for years, never had to give out more than a cell number and an email...no more than that

Ever. Plenty of established providers from which to choose and the peace that comes with your discretion is worth far more than any provider you may desire. NVER give employment information as blackmail and extortion are real and unless you are good with the ignore button several visits to attorneys and their retainers may be in your future. As Harlowe mentioned search and ask but I insist you maintain your privacy. Few providers will share their information as an fyi.

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This is all excellent advice, and the lady I have my eye on is well-reviewed, has a professional web presence, and responded politely and enthusiastically to an email inquiry about screening. I have no reason to suspect she's trouble. Still, at some point I'm at least going to have to give out my real name, right? How else can a person be verified? (It seems like most ladies require total newbies get some additional screening even if they are P411 members, a step I would certainly take.)

So to my original point, once any one has my real name, a Google search turns up a lot. Larissa said she had verified men via IMDB, which would be a snap for me, but obviously that too needs a name. Is any provider, even "newbie friendly," really going to see you without even a name?

Sorry, this is where my newbieness really starts to shine, but I do appreciate the advice from all.

You can always meet at a sbux or outside area and p411 is easiest. You don't have to give p411 your info either. Just mix the last 4 digits of your ss# and you can even provide a fake name. I should know!

Re: the comment about giving fake info to p411 - this is exactly why I won't trust a p411 profile as screening unless it has recent references, and I do my own screening instead.

 

Only you can decide what your threshold is. This hobby is all about having a good time & you can't have a good time if you're worried about what you're doing. Find what your comfort level is & then mitigate as much risk as possible. Nothing is ever going to be foolproof, but that doesn't mean you can't take steps to protect yourself.

After you have a couple of solid references you shouldn't ever have to give out any personal info. I'd say it's worth it ahead of time to ask her if she's reference friendly.  

As for the coffee-meeting, I'm gonna go ahead & say that might be a red flag if she agrees to that. Bad guys will simply behave themselves until they get you alone, and if it's someone offering to show you their ID when they get there it's just as easy for them to pull out a gun or a knife or a taser instead of pulling out their ID...  

For the ladies who have built a presence in the community, the bottom line is that our reputation is based around our ability to act with discretion. We won't get very far if we're careless, and ladies who are will get exposed pretty quickly. We all have to make an effort to protect each other.

And, if a provider is able to keep all her ducks in a row & you can tell that she's on top of it while she's screening you then that's a pretty good indicator that she's going to have it together in other areas too. Same goes for the flip side, if she's a complete mess via email then chances are she'll be a complete mess in person, too. Use your discretion and listen to your instincts. If something seems strange or you aren't comfortable with it then don't do it. You can always say no.

I always hit up my brothers for recs, especially those that have succumbed to the dark side.

Guys and gals know my first name, but you can always use a stage name.  I'm sure I'm Googleable, but that hasn't stopped me from seeing the ladies.  Guess that's why I'm using this subtle alias vs. my normal handle.

I would look into P411 or find a newbie-friendly lady who doesn't mind being a springboard for future refs.  Good luck, Padawan.

-poet

-- Modified on 8/20/2014 7:31:37 PM

But isn't it already public knowledge that everyone in the entertainment industry is already a monger?

Ha, guess I'm the last one, then.

Damn. I'd hope they'd remember me for at least half an hour. Now I'm sad.

I debated with myself if I should post this because this was a more extreme event.  But just keep in mind that history can repeat and even if it does not repeat, at the minimum it rimes

Yeah, I do agree agencies are a bit different in that regard and they are more likely to.  With independents I think it depends on who.  Some probably keep no records, some keep certain information.  Some independents also do have varying rates.  What's the give away on that for me is when I recontact a lady and she remembers who I am just from the number I contacted her on.  There are ways to store information so that it would be very hard for another party to locate and access.  Also that does not mean an actual name was kept.  I have myself used certain ways to keep track of how to contact certain ladies, this was especially true before the movement to the Internet.  Don't need it so much these past many years.  However regardless, anyone else would have had a very hard time recognizing it for what it was and making sense out of it.