Can I insure my tongue?

Yes.  Insurance, in fact, began as a form of gambling in the coffee houses of London in the 17th Century.  Gambling, you ask?  Yep.  Sort of like, "I bet a hundred pounds that John Ashcroft doesn't live beyond next January."  If Ashcroft died before January, the bettor collected.  It wasn't much of a leap for folks to begin issuing life insurance policies and, ultimately, other kinds of insurance.

While the business is highly regulated today, the key concept is that you must have an "insurable interest" in the thing insured.  An insurable interest is the inherent value or income-generating potential of the thing insured.  I can't insure my broken down 1971 Mercury Comet for a million bucks because it's not worth anything -- there's no insurable interest.  But I can insure my $20,000 signet ring.  So, ask yourself -- is your tongue worth something?  Does it generate income?  And how much would you want to insure it for?

If J-Lo has her ass covered for 1 billion, I say 2 billion in case mine breaks licking her twin cheeks.

I've also been known to take things off effectively and to extend the accompanying schedules quite a bit.  Of course, if there has been misconduct, there may be delays. You might get tied up, but I'll see that the taxman doesn't lick you.

I fucking love it when you talk dirrrrty to me.

i would say your is worth at least 4

Priceless, particularly your sense of humor.