In a back channel communication, an acquaintence asked me what he should do after he acquired HSV-II (genital herpes) from a provider?
He is long time married, and in no hurry to get a divorce.
My initial feeling is to have him get treatment for himself and deny everything, up and down the line, and never breathe a word of this to anyone.
I welcome your thoughts..
During my married years, I never strayed, well hardly ever, for fear of STDs. Developed a urinary tract infection once and thought I was doomed. Followed your initial feeling, drank some cranberry juice and came though just fine. Bottom line; Never plead guilty!
Flyrod
I beg to differ. If you pass anything on to your wife you are going to feel a hell of a lot worse. You don't know what you could've done by the time you found out. Chances are she has already come in contact and the damage is done. Clear your conscious, women are psychic anyway she probably already knows.
get the necessary treatment to repress outbreaks. Be "not in the mood" if you're contagius but never, never, admit gilt.
Some background info for those folks interested:
a) There is not a clinical entity called "HSV-II." There are two "variants" of the herpes simplex virus -- these two different but closely related viruses are referred to HSV-1 and HSV-2. HSV-2 is typically associated with genital herpes. Studies demonstrate that the prevalence [i.e., the percent of folks that have antibody to HSV-2] of serologic evidence of having had HSV-2 begins to increase in teenage years on into adulthood, paralleling onset of sexual activity. HSV-1 is more typically associated with cold sores. Antibodies to HSV-1 increase steadily from early childhood until old age.
But genital herpes -- clinical infection of the "privates" with herpes -- can occur with either HSV-1 or HSV-2 (and in fact in many places in the world a greater percentage of genital herpes is being found to be caused by HSV-1; probably secondary to increase in oral sex). It is impossible to determine on clinical ground whether it is caused by HSV-1 or HSV-2 (depending upon one's history it is not so easier to determine by usual lab techniques if that painful blister is HSV-1 or HSV-2; although type-specific serologies have become available recently, they may not help in determining viral identity of the infection).
b) The critical issue: what to say, and what to do. Certainly being honest has merit. But this is up to you. If you're not so inclined towards divulging the "whole truth and nothing but", I would recommend starting on suppressive therapy; I assume the clinician you had seen started you on treatment for the initial symptomatology (usually lasting about 10d). The odds are you will be most infectious (presumably) and most bothered by recurrences in the first 1-2 yrs after acquisition. But here's the good news: although it has been known for years that daily suppressive therapy reduces incidence of symptomatic recurrences and reduces shedding of virus, the evidence was only recently released (just last month)that daily suppressive treatment with 1 gm/d of valacyclovir also prevents (but does not eliminate!) transmission to susceptible partners.
Hope this helps someone. Good luck!