and her asshole ex-husband is saying she's a bad mother for being a provider. He obsessively searches the Internet for her pics and found her website and alias. And she does have a short arrest record for providing and for posession but that was like 2 years ago... She's clean and a very good honest decent person who loves her kids deeply.
Is there anything I can tell her other than hire a good lawyer? Any tips or advice could be helpful.
She has taken down her site, which had her face and tattoos hidden anyway. Shit, I don't know what else to tell her. She could very well lose her kids for no reason. This poor woman has been though some bad times with some bad people who take advantage of her because she's so nice. She doesn't deserve this.
"And she does have a short arrest record for providing and for posession but that was like 2 years ago..."
You say that as if two years is a long time. It isn't, at least in the eyes of family court judges. What happened two years ago is recent history in their eyes. They might not give much weight to a single arrest for simple possession, but evidence that your friend is a provider will be a very big deal. The problem will be even worse if that is how she makes her living as opposed to being just a source of supplemental income. Courts care about the kind of role model a parent will be, and they won't think very highly of a parent who makes a living as a criminal.
You're right that the best advice you can give her is to get a good lawyer. This may turn out to be one of those cases where the best strategy is to make the husband look even worse, so hopefully she can show he's as much of a jerk as you say he is.
I can only speak from experience and am not giving legal advice here but...
Most states do not make custody decisions based on the line of work that someone is in - mother or father. If she is not exposing the children to her line of work and they are well adjusted and healthy the non-custodial parent would have a hard time proving detriment to the children.
I'm not a lawyer, just used to dealing with a jerk of an ex...
you didn't say of she already has custody or is in the middle of establishing it due to a recent breakup...that can make a difference sometimes too.
Not caring what the parents do for a living only goes so far. A court choosing between a parent who makes a living legally and another who makes a living as a criminal is going to care. Some kinds of illegality will be viewed more harshly than others, and some judges will take a very dim view of escorting.
I am also in a custody battle with my ex but I have a spotless record (not even a speeding ticket) and am an excellant parent. This is not my primary form of income but I love what i do and don't want to quit! It's not fair! I have a great lawyer that says he views it as 2 separate things, what i do is not reflected in how i take care of my kids, he seems pretty positive about the whole thing but I have read horror stories. Any advice??? Any comments??
Your lawyer is a very progressive thinker, but most judges aren't. Does your ex know you're a provider? If he doesn't the subject may never come up, but you and your lawyer need to be ready in case it does.
My ex knows what I do but I don't know if he just heard it or if he has proof of the website and such. My lawyer also knows what I do and seems determined that I am going to win. I'm not so sure..living in the midwest I wouldn't think the judge would be too open minded. My lawyer said what I do as a side job and the way i parent my kids are two separate issues and the judge will treat it that way but I don't know. I also do not do incalls or even work in the county where I live.
But I am really worried about my friend. She had her court date postponed for another month so hopefully that will give her more time to prepare her defense.
She's been pulling down all her ads from everywhere and trying to get some kind of legal job so it will look good in court.
Whoa, you are in Indiana! I go there on business and hear they are really tough on crime there and pretty conservative. Good luck.
First, never confuse the legal system with fairness as that word is commonly used. Second, unless your lawyer is also the judge, which he ain't, no one give's a rat's ass how he views things.
get her a good local lawyer. In CA it's not likely to create a problem unless (1) she fails to contest it, or (2) she takes the kids along on outcalls.
She doesn't do incall, and she does not let the kids even hear her talk about it. Her sister watches them when she's goes on outcalls.
She's basically denying that she's a provider. Her court date is today and I feel really bad for her.
maybe the judge will tell her to get one.