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Here’s another example: One of my clients asked me to advise her on which new advertising vehicle to choose for the Christmas season. She was only in The Press, Eros and this rag and despite the fact that she was making about 4 or 5 grand a week, wanted to really capitalize on all the seasonal lonelyhearts.

So I put her in New York Magazine and Cityvibe.com. Her first comment about Cityvibe was that it was like The Village Voice on line which translated, meant she didn’t like Cityvibe because the tricks were low and nasty. “I never want to advertise on that site again. I don’t like the guys,” was her review of that particular advertising vehicle. Whatever…I really don’t care where she advertises. She made good money from the site and the next time I’d simply move her on to something else.

Then some three weeks later, I logged onto the site to check on another client’s ads (Cityvibe always !@#$s everything up so anybody who sells for that site has to constantly monitor all their mistakes) and found a second ad for the girl who had so maligned the site in the first place. I called her up and the interrogation began: “So why did you buy a second ad on a site you hate…and why did you buy it behind my back so one of the ad ho’s at the site could steal my commission? And if I really am your best friend as you say, why do I NOT know your real name, your home phone number or where you live? And why did you tell me for six months you went to one school when you really go to another?”

I got the usual paid political announcement not worth listening to. At least if she’d said “Because I’m a lieing !@#$%ing ho who got !@#$%ed by my uncle when I was three. That’s why!” I could have a little bit of pity and respect for her. But what I got was more like “I make big money thanks to you and I’m gonna continue making big money and lieing to all you dumb!@#$es  until I have ten million dollars or I get back at the original enough to begin selling !@#$ in the first place…whichever comes first!”

When a ho really hones her lieing chops to a fine edge is when she gets a boyfriend. Oh boy! Working girls are caught in a “Catch-22” situation which goes like this: “If I tell my boyfriend I do six guys a day while I’m not with him, he’ll leave me. If I tell him and he doesn’t care…then he doesn’t love me.” So in a working girl’s mind, she has no choice but to lie to her boyfriend constantly to hide the fact she’s doing half a dozen guys a day. The stories I’ve heard about boyfriends and husbands who don’t know boggle my mind. I have a client in Queens who just married a cop. Yes, a law officer! The happy newlywed goes to work every day (or several) while her brand, spanking new husband protects and serves the citizenry.

Another girl used to demand that all shut up while she called her boyfriend, a detective with the NYPD. A detective! How does a guy who reads people’s eyes, body language and whatever for a living not know that his girlfriend is doing other guys all day? And for that matter, how does any guy in a relationship with any girl not know that she’s doing numerous guys when she’s not with him? And the answer to that is that the relationships are so superficial and dysfunctional that the two are probably just  fighting the majority of the time and really not relating at all!

If I live to be a hundred I think I will be constantly amazed at the amoral nature of this entire business. The ’s are lubing up and rolling their eyes as they grab the money…and the tricks are pounding away on any number   with the reckless abandon that entitles them to. And the answer to the “my !@#$ lied to me” dilemma? Fight fire with fire, fellas! Tell her the biggest, fattest lie you can conjure, swear that it’s true as a crackhead !#$ once told me over a beer at Walter’s Bar, “When I want sex, I tell my man to stick it all the way up me and let a !@#$ know what a !@#$ is, baby.” Words to live by if you ask me. And from a crackhead. Go figure. How many times have you heard that they like it hard and doggy style? Is this a sensical explaination and derivation from a psychoanalysis point of view? This is a subject taboo and not spoken of in puritanical America today. Yet the libs are all free and independent and champion the virtures of libertarism. Many dark avenues remain unexplored, not fully understood.