I need some helpful suggestions from hobbyists and providers alike (I would like both perspectives) on how to handle a particular type of client/situation.
I recently saw a nice gent who was, how shall I put it, very vigourous with his hands and mouth to the point of causing me pain. I'm going to describe the session (in part) and what actions I took, and then maybe you guys can help me.
He started by kissing me very hard. Now I'm not talking a nice deep passionate kiss (I LOVE those). I'm talking so hard that I could almost feel the outline of his teeth through his lips. My lips were going numb from being pressed too hard. The he carried me to the bed and started by shoving his digits in my kitty and rubbing a particularly sensitive spot (and I'm not talking about sensitive in a nice way) too vigorously. I kept saying "Easy baby, I like it soft" to try to get him to back off (even tried pushing his hand out which he refused to remove...this just made him try to shove deeper and harder). When he did back off and I would relax a little, he seemed to take this as a cue to rub hard again. Knowing I couldn't take anymore, God help me, I did the unthinkable and "faked it" hoping it would encourage him to remove his hand now that he had completed "the deed"...but he only rubbed harder. I finally simply had to pull away and move the kitten out of his reach. Then he decided that twisting, pinching, and pulling at my nipples was something that I would like. I don't. I know many women do, but that is extremely painful for me. Again, he seemed to completely ignore my gentle requests to be gentler, softer. He finally decided he just had to kiss the kitten. Needless to say, the first thing he did was bite her! OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! Then back to twisting the nipples.....I finally lost patience and asked him point-blank (but politely), to please don't do that. At which point he refused to touch them at all. Needless to say, this was an hour torture session for me. I'm not extremely fragile...I'm just not into pain. I can honestly say that I've never had anyone do this to this extent. I love a good romp in the hay, and I love an enthusiastic lover. Being pushed up against the wall or tossed around the bed can be fun. I have had lovers who just get a little too vigorous on occasion. We all get a little carried away sometimes. But I can honestly say it's never happened to this extent before.
I have learned to use gentle persuasion to get my lovers to stop doing something that I don't like. For example, "I like it soft, baby...yeah, like that" or to gently move your hands to a more desirable area. For example... away from the land of Greece, to those soft round hills that surround that off-limits spot. I really do like having my ass squeezed....
So, my questions for hobbyists is....from a gent's point of view, what words and/or actions can I take that won't ruin the moment or bruise the fragile ego when the above forms of gentle persuation don't work?
To the providers, are there other methods you've learned to use so that the very best experience can be provided and you still not be arrested for commiting homocide after such a session?
If you're not comfortable answering on the boards, please feel free to e-mail me. The link title below is my e-mail address.
-- Modified on 9/2/2005 3:20:19 PM
Unbelievable!!! One could say that you can chalk this up to an occupational hazzard but this guy went beyond the realm in my view. Sounds like you did everything you could but he just didn't "get it".
I have never (nor will I) ever understand someones need to be that rough with a woman. Passionate, yes; energetic, sure, but not rough. We all have our limits and you let it be known what yours were. Next time (and hopefully there won't be one), kick his ass out the door and throw the donation in his face! Although with this guy, homocide doesn't sound like that bad of a Plan B! LOL
Here's hoping that this was your last experience of this type.
-- Modified on 9/2/2005 5:49:21 PM
NO-No-No Then you have every right to end the romantic part of the session---You have the right to control the session---if he doesn't understand that you should leave him in "Pain"
-- Modified on 9/2/2005 3:36:17 PM
You are wrong. You said nice guy. He wasn't. He was a fucing ahole. You should have got the hell out of there. Please take better care of yourself. By the way my foot got broken. If not I would kick him in the ass.
Havind said that I do kinda understand the kitty part. Everytime I've been there I just wanted to eat it up and keep it forever, you delicious tasty little sweet one.
You know my kitty does love your attention...you know just what to do to make me wriggle, squirm, and scream with delight and leave my kitty purring......Sounds like you need to take better care of yourself, too. Would you like me to kiss your toes and make it all better? (giggle, giggle). I promise not to bite them...LOL
ME!!!!!!!!!!! LOL.
and it seemed like none of my signals, neither physical nor vocal seemed to get them to stop the over agressiveness. What worked with one gent was that I took total control, and did so a bit roughly too... ain't it funny when he starts to squirm! He actually liked it! The side effect is that he was so excited by what I was doing to him, that he stopped doing it to me.
I have read that men sometimes touch a woman in the way HE would like to be touched, so maybe this was the case, but whether he likes it or not, it should change his attitude! lol! good luck
xoxox
Anik
Mary, your "nice gent", was nothing more than a disrespectful pig. He gave you a facade of being nice, but figured since he was paying his money he had the right to treat you like a whore. The service that you provide and the true heartfelt spirit you provide that with deserves respect. Unfortunately you had to deal with a jerk and I am impressed you showed the restraint you did.
Entertaining a couple and the woman is the one getting too rough.
I had a guy say to me one time, "You're a whore, you can take it." So I figure some of these guy are letting out some of their pent up aggressions and/or practicing for their career as a serial rapist. Therefore, if gentle persuasion doesn't work, I physically take control. That usually takes care of the situation.
If all else fails, I just call Montana over, give her a bottle of rum and let her beat the crap out of him! LOL!!
ouch! biting the kitty?*covers self like guys do when they hear about getting kicked in the...you know what*L*
If its getting a bit touch and go, i just set both hands on their shoulders, gently push back so they will look up at me, smile,laugh, and say, 'whoa..hang on there, lover...youd definately give a (guy) porn star a run for their money!"
if they wont listen, or that doesnt elicit a laugh...warn again, then, Id cancel the session...nicely...just because youre wiling to provide doesnt automatically set you up for abuse...
I have provided rape roleplay in the past, to a client that had earned my trust(saw them frequently) and actually laughed as i sat in bed with a book, hearing him outside pretending to 'break in' to my apartment...and getting ready to act terrified....always had to wear something i didnt mind having cut off*L*
He was fun though....too bad hes one for a while*S*
I believe honesty is the best policy. If something is less than satisfying during a session a hobbyist or a provider should speak up. It takes a lot of courage to say, in the heat of the moment, that something hurts (easier said than done) but there is no sense in anyone coming away unhappy from a session. I love to satisfy my clients but not to the extent that I have to compromise my own happiness. And we are not out here to be put in painful situations. Thanks for bringing up a difficult topic...Lee Chase
Honey I think you had a closet rapist!! Sounds like the typical one that thinks you want it anyway he can make you take it. Your description is what some rape victims describe as a violent attack. I would not see him again because he will not "GET IT" but will push for more violence. It is not the love making that gets him off it is the punishment he gives. Be careful
Hello Mary.....
Im sorry this happened to you. I myself, am very gentle and very caring and very polite. I will always ask the lady first what I can do and can't do and I always ask her if this hurts or that hurts. I can't stand to physically hurt people. It's a real turn off when men think they have to have control of everything. I even ask for anal and if she says "no" so be it. I'm not going to fusss and pout over it I I may be set in my ways and some women may think my tastes are strange but once you meet me, you'll realize how gentle I can be without overwhelming her. I'm very sincere when it comes to women, I certainly wouldn't like it if a woman was rough on me. I hate S@M and domintation. very offseinsive and painful for that person involved.
TAD
I sent you a private e-mail response to your questions on your post. Please respond back to me the same way. The only thing that I will say is that you & all the other ladies out there need to be real careful. There are a bunch of nuts out there & you guys will attract them all from time to time. Make surte you asll have a good screening process, no matter how strenuous or difficult it is for us. I'm my opinion, whether anyone likes it or not, is that you ladies safety should always come first, at no matter what cost or difficulty it causes. Just one man's opinion, and you know what they say about opinions, "there just like as-hol-s, everyone's got one." Ya'll take care now, you hear.