Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
The Verizon virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.
Bobbit virus: Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it. (But that part will never work again.)
Congressional Virus: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
Congressional Virus #2: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
David Duke virus: Makes your screen go completely white.
Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.
Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
Health Care virus: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.
Jimmy Hoffa virus: Your programs can never be found again.
Kevorkian virus: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.
OJ virus: It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of your file and vows to find the virus that did it.
PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".
Christian Science Virus: Your hard drive isn't really down, you just think it is.
Bill Clinton Virus: Gives you a 7" hard drive with no memory.