1) Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. (Irwin Corey)  
2) When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. (Epperson's law)  

3) Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting. (Ray Bandy)  

4) The more I know about men, the more I like dogs. (Gloria Allred, feminist attorney, 1995)  

5) If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created. (Anonymous)  

6) If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry. (Chekhov)  

7) Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. (Woody Allen)  

8) Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life. But a woman is only sexy until she becomes your wife. (Al Bundy)  

9) If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. ( Johnny Carson)  

10) Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back. (Al Bundy)  

11) An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. (Agatha Christie)