She's been on her knees more times than
Billy Graham.

She's been laid on more kitchen floors
than linoleum.

She's done more screwing than Black and Decker.

She's responsible for more merry men than
Robin Hood.

She's turned more tricks than Harry Houdini.

She's been boarded more times than Amtrak.

She's been mounted more often than Trigger.

She's been involved with more animals than
Marlin Perkins.

She's entertained more troops than Bob Hope.

She's been at more bedsides than Dr. Kildare.

She's been turned more ways than Rubik's
Cube.

She's spent more time under men than
barstools.

She's seen more traffic than the George
Washington Bridge.

She's had more turnovers than the
International House of Pancakes.

She's been under more sheets than the Ku
Klux Klan.

She's had more marines land on her than on
Iwo Jima.

Her body has been declared a national
recreation area.

Her diaphragms come with a service contract.

She has an IUD with a beeper.

She uses industrial strength douche.

Her gynecologist entered her in the Grand
Canyon look-alike contest.

Her underwear is by Rubbermaid.

Her pantyhose has a pet door.

She was hospitalized for six months when a
truck driver mistook her for the Channel
Tunnel.