Chicago

too funny lol! Great discussion/question though! e
Black_Lynx 37 Reviews 2000 reads
posted
1 / 86

Its strange I am a professional Black man who just moved from Atlanta to Chicago, living on the NW side of the city.  Why does it seem, especially coming from the South that providers are more discriminatory here in Chicago.  I realize the city is very segregated however.  Any insights?  I love women of all races but seems like a tall order here.
Curious

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1449 reads
posted
2 / 86

I love me some black men, but I don't love me any man who's reviews are mostly 5's & 6's. screams high maintenance, and very difficult to please.

-- Modified on 11/8/2014 4:37:31 PM

robert1985 18 Reviews 1270 reads
posted
3 / 86

I here you - But you Just need to know where to look!  and not to look & BP is not it - trust me!  
** most providers not on BP will keep you out of trouble/drama & as long as you have the Roses and are  professional  and a gentleman.  Believe me- There's so many, there's not enough days in the week.

macdaddy1944 51 Reviews 1331 reads
posted
4 / 86

Bim..Bam..Boom..

Posted By: Courtney.Ova
I love me some black men, but I don't love me any man who's reviews are mostly 5's & 6's. screams high maintenance, and very difficult to please.

-- Modified on 11/8/2014 4:37:31 PM

Black_Lynx 37 Reviews 1353 reads
posted
5 / 86
Black_Lynx 37 Reviews 1089 reads
posted
6 / 86

personally I hate those site and prefer referrals

Black_Lynx 37 Reviews 1177 reads
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7 / 86

Definitely now discounts and I would not consider myself high maintenance at all. Actually I prefer consistency and like to stick to  ATFs.

GoGoGretchen 1185 reads
posted
8 / 86
dr.no 23 Reviews 1073 reads
posted
9 / 86

and getting some racist snide answers. What's up with that? I see a lot of ads with "No AA men". How about some serious answers.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1666 reads
posted
10 / 86

Unless they're literally saying that to you.

I don't have any friends who don't see black guys. If it's backpage, it could be pimps trying to avoid other pimps taking their girls. I've heard that one.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1102 reads
posted
11 / 86

I mentioned nothing about his race, but if you want to pull that card out, go ahead and speculate. I was simply saying it could be something completely different.

His reviews is one thing. (One girl charges $40 for 15 minutes, and he complained about the facility lol. Like - really?) And I hate to say this, but if you want to put reality in the mix, people may stereotype. A black guy asking for discounts may cause some stereotyping. I'm not saying ALL black guys ask for discounts - I'm simply saying if he is black, and asks for discounts, he may have some problems here. Just a question to give a more full answer. It sucks to say it, BUT he is asking for the sake of getting a result - and I'm trying to help him get his results.

But another problem could be that you click on his handle and a huge slew of 5's and 6's comes up. Maybe they deserved those scores, but I wouldn't see someone who scored like that. No thanks, I want to eat lol!

A great example of stereotype that I was trying to suggest (but apparently did a bad job not looking racist??) lol.

Example:  
Black guy asks for discount May have more of a problem than a white guy asking for a discount. Sucks, but it very well may be a stereotype thing.

Just like
A white girl asks a serious question to the OP to give better answer. White girl gets told she's racist.

See? Now if you've ever seen me do a black dude, you may have a very different opinion on my preferences lol.

-- modifiedOn 11/9/2014 6:03:43 AM

nipring12 31 Reviews 1000 reads
posted
12 / 86

I was hoping someone would bring up this topic.  I am white (like almost clear I'm so white) but I have really noticed this issue and wondered about it.  It seems like almost every ad on Backpage says no AA. With higher end providers I don't see it as much, but I have also talked to a few of them about it and they really prefer old white guys over everyone else.  Being an old white guy this is helpful for me, but makes me a little sad for everyone else.  I would think that if there was any group that would be open minded and non-racist it would be providers, as they are obviously less concerned about following societal norms than most.  Yet, they seem almost more racist than anyone.  So I would really like to know why this is true.  Is it based on actual bad experiences or is it just "conventional wisdom" among providers that AA are poor clients?  Seems like a great study for some horny grad student to look for correlations among hobbyists who are deemed undesirable by providers. What factor(s) are most likely to indicate that an individual would be a poor client - race, age, socioeconomic status,  marital status, educational attainment, family history, physical factors (height, weight, bald)? You could then build a matrix and providers could create a questionnaire for new clients to help them determine how likely they are to be a good client. I know it sounds crazy but marketing companies are making billions of dollars doing exactly that for other businesses - why shouldn't providers use same strategies?

Which brings us back to determining the factors that make up the matrix. If you ask providers to describe their ideal clients (meaning polite, regular, pays well, discrete, low maintenance) I'm guessing that 50ish married college educated short balding chubby white guys with moderate dicks are the golden goose.  Outstanding news for me, but if you don't check off all the boxes which ones are most important? Who falls into tier 2 of clients and then tier 3 and then the "don't touch with a 10' pole" tier? Is that bottom tier rightfully the provence of young AA or are they getting unfairly shafted?  If the latter than it is says something about the continuing prevalence of racism in our country.  If, however, research shows they truly have the least desirable qualities then it should be a wake-up call to African Americans.  I mean if you got $400 and a bulge in your pants and a provider still won't touch you then you got issues you need to deal with.  So there is my holiday gift to grad students - the perfect research study. A study that is guaranteed to generate academic buzz and make a name for yourself, have a potentially lucrative outcome (if you design and sell the decision matrix), and gives you a legitimate reason to hang out with providers all day.  

So, providers, what say you?  Do you have legit reasons or just working off hearsay? If a service were to charge say $25 to prequalify a new prospect as highly likely to be a great client would you do it? Maybe it could be like a credit score and you only date guys with a 680 or higher

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1047 reads
posted
13 / 86

It is mainly lower priced girls. Lower priced girls probably have more of a chance of being pimped, or working for a lower end agency - AND - are vulnerable to false promises or even false discouragement.

A pimp or agency is going to want more volume. Lower rates attract higher volume, in the end much more money for the pimp or agency.

A lot of the criteria for a perfect girl to pimp is 'little to no experience preferred'. You know why?? Because the pimp can then 'teach them about the market'. I.E. The girl could be a $400 girl if taught correctly, possibly way more, but the pimp wants girls who are that quality, but don't know it. Returning clients, a lot of clients, possibly 10 in a day, which means more money for them. The girl doesn't even realize that she could net the same amount in a week as an indy with 5 clients if she does it right.

Since the pimp has her in a vulnerable naive state, he also knows she can be lured away just as easily by the next promise. Unfortunately, there are probably a lot of great looking, charming black pimps with chrome wheels ready to promise her a raise and better conditions. (She'll believe anything, right?) Are there white ones? Yes. And there are white female chubby pimps too. But a white chubby female pimp isn't as threatening in the face of a fist fight to keep his girl. A strong, young, black dude can either save a damsel in distress, or beat the puke out of her current pimp, who is most likely in close proximity to his girls.

When I was pimped by a chubby white girl in her late 20's in NC for two weeks, I saw black guys. But I also figured it out pretty quickly that i was being pimped and confronted her. (Bad idea, but I was abandoned and my money stolen, not beat up.)

ALSO - at $180 per hour in NC, or a $60 QV, the white and black clientele is completely different from the $400 er hour - ALL races. I came across some scary big black guys, and I had to turn into a feisty lion to get rid of them. I even had to use an "emergency diarrhea" escape at one point to get out of the situation. These guys were very very rough, and I was twisted like a pretzel continually. (As they say, I guess I don't know my own strength.)  

The $60 minimum clientele was not the same on many demographics as a $400 minimum  clientele, based on what I saw all the way up to a $250 minimum, were shady guys, many of them AA. BUT I also saw some black clients that I still miss, as they were super sweet and complimentary.

So from what I know myself and have heard from others, it's pimps avoiding other (strong) pimps with homies that can help a brother out if he gets into some problems and/or personal experience with the clients at those rates.

I really don't think the OP will have as much as a problem at $350/$400 per hour or more ladies.

Now, who really scare me are the Italians. LOL. They talk all tough and are usually pretty stocky. BUT. They're super hot and I just can't resist... lol

-- Modified on 11/9/2014 8:53:14 AM

nipring12 31 Reviews 1116 reads
posted
14 / 86

Sorry, Courtney, think you just live in more enlightened circle.  Done enough mongering to know many  independents who won't see AA.  As I have been hinting towards, if you limited the issue to well employed educated AA vs. white then the ban on AA makes less sense. I think the reason it is almost a universal rule on backpage is that they often deal with a lower socioeconomic level and their experiences are different than those in the more elite categories such as yourself.

nipring12 31 Reviews 1214 reads
posted
15 / 86

Whoa, Courtney! What a great post.  Pardon my post above where I questioned your knowledge base.  Here I am stereotyping you as a privileged lily white girl and you came up from the streets.  You go girl!  Your weakness may be Italians but mine is smart chicks.  God your brain is so sexy.  I mean yes, the rest of the package is fabulous, your brain just makes me horny.  How about I come over with my shirt open, a gold chain, and big bowl of linguine with vodka sauce and some cannolis?

Littlestinker 1099 reads
posted
16 / 86

It is a ladies choice who she chooses to share her body with and she is entitled to have that choice.
   
             What ever race she prefers that does not make her a racist.  
   
 I know black women who only date black men does that make them racist. Hell No !
 
           Having a personal preference does not make you a racist.

-- Modified on 11/9/2014 9:29:21 AM

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1001 reads
posted
17 / 86

So all possibilities will come out until I hit the right one for him lol.

I'm surprised that a lot of indys don't see AA. Most girls I know personally in Chicago see AA men no problem - or at least have never told me they don't.

Did you know that all indy's are not actually independent? Agencies and even pimps advertise girls as independent. Should the girl ever get caught, she has no where to point. The pimp can easily disappear and not get busted for trafficking multiple girls.

Easy peasy.

The black demographic at very low rates is definitely different. So is the white demographic. Higher rates week out a lot of dangerous peeps, and also pimps. A girl with higher rates knows she can get them, so she's not as targeted by a low end pimp. That's again, another reason a lower priced indy may avoid them. They're always trying to get her to work for him - he will always get her all the business she needs for 25 - 50 percent of her income.

-- Modified on 11/9/2014 9:38:33 AM

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1133 reads
posted
18 / 86

I've seen almost every price range, but wasn't in the low low price range for very long. Maybe two months after I went Indy. Even then I was above 200.

And no, one of the last things I am is privileged lily white girl. But I look like one on purpose, and I act like one in some ways. It is an automatic shield against manipulators, scammers, pimps, abusers, and shady people in general. In some way, being 'privileged' is nothing more than being street smart. It keeps you out of the shady business, or at least diminishes a lot of it.

'Privileged' a stereotype they put white expensive escorts in. I, on the other hand, have my rates set because I want a good life, and my rates protect me from a lot of damage, manipulation, and - well - useless emails from people who never book lol. Why can you guys be smart and snobby about your business and clientele, (or even your hookers,) but we can't be?  

We all know it's a good way to do business. All successful business set standards, and that includes prices and payment of those prices - or you're shut down until you pay up, or repair any damage done. I'm not going to charge a low rate renting my very body and soul, and I wouldn't charge $400 per month for an apartment in Chicago - nor would I rent one. We all know how well the tenants take care of cheap apartments. How much more am I going to want someone who cares enough about the value of his dollar - he will also care about what he spent it on. He will also study what he is renting. The rate gives him a rough idea on how that human he is renting is being cared for by previous renters. I would hope most guys think about that stuff.

 
A lot of guys complain that we're dumb hookers, but when we're smart, the guys complain?

PS
Are you Italian? LOL. Perhaps I should do an "Italian discount" like a military discount. Wear your gold chain and we've got a deal.  

JK btw, but fun to think about lol!

-- Modified on 11/9/2014 9:45:15 AM

nipring12 31 Reviews 1085 reads
posted
19 / 86

I am always so intrigued by the business side of this endeavor.  Britain just added prostitution and drugs into GDP calculations because it is such a big business, yet so little is really known about the economics and the business models.  I'm not an economist (or sociologist) but just find the inner workings so fascinating because it operates outside of the traditional box.  In one sense it is an amazing opportunity for individual entrepreneurship and creative marketing.  Those who do it well (such as yourself) should be teaching in business schools.  I'm certain it would be much more practical and students would never miss a lecture.

nipring12 31 Reviews 1130 reads
posted
20 / 86

Out of time to play but you are spot on. Love to hear your full story sometime. I'd prefer to think I wasn't renting your soul so much as paying for talents and expertise as I would to a skilled surgeon, though I understand lines get a bit fuzzy here.  Anyways, I believe you (and your fellow professionals) have not only a right but a duty to act as competent business people.  Whenever possible it should be done pleasantly and with civility and, customers being customers, there will always be a bit of niggling about prices and services, but overall both sides should be able to have a good open discussion and allow everyone to arrive at a reasonable economic consensus. I join you in pissing on the haters who shout you down.

GaGambler 1074 reads
posted
21 / 86

If anyone had any doubts about racism being alive and well in Chicago,  this thread should remove all of those doubts.

I love watching you guys twist yourselves into pretzels trying to explain racism as a legitimate response to potential STD's

I believe in a woman's right to see whoever the fuck she wants to, and if that includes not seeing me for whatever reason she wants to come up with  that's her right, but please don't try to claim that all these "NBA" policies are racist in nature. It's insulting to any one with the least amount of common sense.

and yes, black women who only date black men are every bit as racist as white women who only date white men. To exclude someone strictly because of his/her race is the very definition of racism, no matter how hard you try to change the meaning of the word to justify your behavior.

Ellesolo See my TER Reviews 1145 reads
posted
22 / 86

Courtney, I do enjoy what you write.  Your honestly inspires. Which is why I am writing this, which may not go over well (or might!)

When we first started, a gentleman wrote us and had a great roleplay.  We were way into it, and then we get an email from him letting us know he was black and make sure that was ok.  We were honestly confused.  He could of been purple.  We were into his scene.  But that was our choice, and it is a personal one.  Just like ladies who set client restrictions.  It's their choice.  

Betsy and I see people of all colors and genders - but we don't have to.  And neither does anyone else.  We also turn down sessions sometimes because we don't think it will be fun for us.  Doesn't mean he won't rock someone else's world!

We are not a fast food restaurant, and if ladies feel that way - they must be very unhappy in session.  And if hobbyists think they are - well....let's just say they don't hold much respect for providers.

When did our services become some kind of social statement?  Why is there such a knee jerk "racist' and scorn associated with refusing services to AA men?  Or men under 30?  Or ladies who don't see couples or women?  We are not machines, and our services are very personal.  

Are hobbyist harassed for their choice in providers?  Is a hobbyist racist if he doesn't see black providers?  Age-ist if he only sees younger providers?  Is he a fat shamer if he only sees thin providers?  No, he likes what he likes.  AND THAT IS AWESOME.  

See, just because we hang up our provider sign does not mean the world owns us.  It does not mean we have to see everyone.  And providers certainly shouldn't have to explain themselves on who they will or will not see.  

And to the OP - if you can't find a lady to see you, it's not cause you are black.  There are too many great ladies who see AA clients.  This is fact.  You are spoiled for choice.

Now I am getting my round ass ready for some sexy time, because see - that's what it is all about

USGrantlover 219 Reviews 1066 reads
posted
23 / 86

Why bother trying to offer a serious answer?

Posted By: Courtney.Ova
I mentioned nothing about his race, but if you want to pull that card out, go ahead and speculate. I was simply saying it could be something completely different.  
   
 His reviews is one thing. (One girl charges $40 for 15 minutes, and he complained about the facility lol. Like - really?) And I hate to say this, but if you want to put reality in the mix, people may stereotype. A black guy asking for discounts may cause some stereotyping. I'm not saying ALL black guys ask for discounts - I'm simply saying if he is black, and asks for discounts, he may have some problems here. Just a question to give a more full answer. It sucks to say it, BUT he is asking for the sake of getting a result - and I'm trying to help him get his results.  
   
 But another problem could be that you click on his handle and a huge slew of 5's and 6's comes up. Maybe they deserved those scores, but I wouldn't see someone who scored like that. No thanks, I want to eat lol!  
   
 A great example of stereotype that I was trying to suggest (but apparently did a bad job not looking racist??) lol.  
   
 Example:  
 Black guy asks for discount May have more of a problem than a white guy asking for a discount. Sucks, but it very well may be a stereotype thing.  
   
 Just like  
 A white girl asks a serious question to the OP to give better answer. White girl gets told she's racist.  
   
 See? Now if you've ever seen me do a black dude, you may have a very different opinion on my preferences lol.

-- modifiedOn 11/9/2014 6:03:43 AM

Black_Lynx 37 Reviews 1063 reads
posted
24 / 86

Like I said I mostly deal with ATFS and most women I deal with are discreet and do not even live to be reviewed on TER.  If you must know.  I reviewed mostly women friends recommended and has no bearing on how much I am willing to spend.  I clearly understand that you get what you pay for but also in that respect, if higher end women choose to discriminate, some, not me, may be relegated to women offering less.  It is already known in the industry if unspoken that White providers will charge more than their AA counterparts even if they come from the same SECs or have the same education etc. Just foo for thought.

Black_Lynx 37 Reviews 1042 reads
posted
25 / 86

And there in lies my point.  Thank you.

JosephineBelle See my TER Reviews 647 reads
posted
26 / 86

This is everything I've ever said on posts like this put better than I ever could. As a Black woman, THANK YOU. This is spot on.

Posted By: AlysonParker
sex work is not free of racism, ignorance or bigotry. It has nothing to do with any kind of truth around STD stats (the way that research is being interpreted here is flawed at best) or African-Americans having the "least desirable qualities". It has to do with escorts being bigoted and uninformed.  
   
 These threads always bring out Olympic worthy mental gymnastics and sketchy social science but, as with most things, the most obvious answer is the correct one: racism is alive and well in the United States and especially in Chicago, the most segregated city in America.  
   
 I'm not saying that women should be "forced" to see anyone but hiding behind justifications puts the blame on the guys. It's their racism, not some universal truth about an entire race of people, that is behind their policy.  
   
 If we want to talk stats, let's talk about this one: white women are statistically more likely to be assaulted by men of their own race. The serial killers who have caused the most harm to sex workers are white. The men most known in the community for being problems? White. Agency owners who have been abusive and pimp like? Plenty of white men (and women) there. Yet all of this bad behavior has never led to a mass "no white men" policy because all of these men are seen as individuals. If we wanted to rule out a whole race of people due to "safety" it would most definitely be white people.  
   
 I've also often wondered if women who say "no AA" would see someone who is Black but not American. Like, do men from Europe or Canada or Africa get a pass?  
   
 And before someone raises the "but maybe she's just not attracted to black men; that's her choice!" argument, let's be real: there is no way to tell through a screening process if you will be attracted to your client or not. I doubt that every white man who walks through a "no AA" policy lady's door is turning her crank. Is she really more turned on by a white guy with bad breath and skid marks in his shorts than *any* Black man? Really? Carnal attraction isn't a base line for any of us and we all know it.  
   
 Another charming reason I've heard is that white clients prefer to see women who exclude Black men, which is one of the most twisted, vile things I've heard in a long time. There was a thread about that a while back and it was full of white clients saying "I'm not racist but..." (fill in the blank with pathetic excuses for wanting to see exclusionary providers). I'd much rather spend my time with non-white men who can afford to pay my rates (of which there are plenty; about 50% of my clients aren't white) than cater to that kind of thinking.  
   
 I've heard horror stories from all varieties of non-white men who pass screening with flying colors and then show up and get turned down (and the stories of women who slap the terrorist label on a whole range of nationalities are really special). Black men and Arab men in particular tend to disclose their race in introduction emails asking if I see non-white clients. No white client has ever had to ask if I will see him based on race and follow it up with "it's ok if you won't, I just like to check before hand".  
   
 A few years ago I was stiffed in a major way by an Asian client and rang the alarm bell about it quite loudly. It was embarrassing how many "OMG I always just thought it was Black men who I couldn't trust but maybe I shouldn't see Asians now either??" messages I received. Because you know, all non-white people represent their *entire* race.  
   
 So the common denominator in all this, as you can see, is the women and their backwards, racist policies. Which they are surely entitled to have, but that means that those of us who see through them are also entitled to call them out for what they really are.  
   
 Side note: racism in this industry exists on both sides of the coin. White clients love to describe non-white providers as "exotic" and discuss whether or not Black providers are "ghetto" or "articulate" or a whole host of other descriptors that they would never use for white providers (Asian and Latina American born providers are often asked where they are from; I have never once been asked this). All of that is let slide under the guise of "personal preference" and that underground industries shouldn't have to be "PC". So tiresome.  
   
   
   
   
   
 

Black_Lynx 37 Reviews 771 reads
posted
27 / 86

Thank you for validating my thoughts as an observer who is new to the city.  Cheers.  I am Black but was raised in Europe so Cheers again.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 997 reads
posted
28 / 86

I just imagine a higher end lady of all colors who works hard to attract the right clientele who would be attracted to her looking at those scores, thinking "This guy is not happy with anyone. He's not going to be happy with me either."

The scores just aren't jiving with me. Sorry.

Lower end will take the money. Screw the scores lol. Spend what you want to spend. If the AA ladies are saying no AA, that's one thing - but if you are introducing yourself as AA, and getting "Sorry, not available," and no reason attached - it may very well be your reviews.

-- Modified on 11/9/2014 1:54:22 PM

Black_Lynx 37 Reviews 939 reads
posted
29 / 86

Side note, Ms. Josephine you look absolutely gorgeous.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 738 reads
posted
31 / 86

A pimp slaps her image online with an ad saying, "No AA's". Now she is the one who is racist? Many of these girls never even see their ads.

I know how a lot of these low end agencies work, (white, female, and and Asian pimps mostly,) and I think they are the ones putting it up there on the lower end Indy profiles. Maybe at the lower rates the ladies don't want to see black men, and fine. Let's say they're racist. But I still don't know of any reputable high end ladies who don't see black men. Where are they? Do we have any examples?

There are tons and tons of ladies who don't see men who are obese. What do we call that?  

I totally agree with you that it's not an attraction issue. There are many categories that are generally unattractive to everyone, not just race, and if we're here to only be with what we're attracted to, we're in the wrong business.

I still think his reviews may have something to do with it lol. Sorry.

But since I've been above $350/hour, my percentage in black inquiries has gone down 98%. Why is that? They don't even contact to negotiate. I think in 2014, I've gotten two inquiries in Chicago from an AA. They've dropped off the radar.

If the girl is putting down no AA for herself, she must have race issues, or she has gotten one too many pimp offers, or has seen what I've seen at lower rates. Sorry, but you can't say 100% of girls who don't see AA men are racist. If that girl may be seeing a pattern at her price range that is causing her danger, and at $100/hour the majority (or even 25% black guys she is seeing,) are bad boys, I don't blame her for scratching out the most dangerous demographic. At $100, I came across some very scary guys who were black in North Carolina. I still saw black guys, but when I had that girl pimping me for that short period, I saw some scary shit. When I ditched that girl and learned how to screen, I had much more trouble with white guys not showering. Lol. That's bad. A smelly white guy. Yuck. Thank God my guys shower at my current rate lol!

Any pimp offers I've had, however, were never black guys. Always White or Asian. Mostly Asian. I actually, back in the day, didn't see Asians at those rates, I just didn't advertise that I didn't. I got too many of them trying to convince me to let them manage me, and they were kind of scary too. But in a different way.

I'll just stick to my price and see everyone,it I'm not going to start pulling the race card out on everyone who won't see AA men. I just can't categorize every person as racist just because of a preference.

I respect you and your opinion,but I don't have the same opinion.

Please excuse any and all typographical errors and/or grammar. I'm typing with one finger on an iPad that keeps changing my words. Ugh)

-- Modified on 11/9/2014 2:36:49 PM

Black_Lynx 37 Reviews 1125 reads
posted
32 / 86

No one I called knows about my reviews.  I have other ways of being verified that by TER reviews.  My ATFs vouch for me. I think Allison has addressed what I was curious about but I thank you.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1129 reads
posted
33 / 86

It's understandable why you would be confused or insulted. I personally see all races at my rate. I've found the rate is a better protected than a race preference.  

I still am wondering if all the ladies you're trying to book with are flat out telling you it's because you're AA, and not some other reason.

Black_Lynx 37 Reviews 1207 reads
posted
34 / 86

Thanks Courtney,
 Honestly I haven't made any attempts.  I was making an observation based on what I have seen and what fellow hobbyists have told me.   I have ben successful but wanted to see other people's perspectives.

Cheers
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
It's understandable why you would be confused or insulted. I personally see all races at my rate. I've found the rate is a better protected than a race preference.  
   
 I still am wondering if all the ladies you're trying to book with are flat out telling you it's because you're AA, and not some other reason.

nipring12 31 Reviews 800 reads
posted
35 / 86

First, this is the most interesting post on the Chicago board in a long while and has been a lively, but civil debate, so kudos to everyone, especially the ladies who have chimed in.  I was afraid that anything more menatally challenging than ball scratching had become a lost art here.

This has brought up some interesting issues concerning race. Based on what I've read above racism on the part of providers is definitely at play (racism on the part of many hobbyists is a given). It seems evident that at least some of the women discriminate based on race and, while they may use fear of pimps or disease as justification, the truth is they just don't want to see AA clients. The question I raise is, "Is this wrong?"  Obviously if you own a burger joint and refuse to serve AA you are wrong.  But the services rendered are of a very different sort.  Providers are often caught in a cross-fire of conflicting demands.  On the one hand hobbyists expect you to at least feign attraction, but on the other hand they don't want you to be "fake" (don't we all hate a provider who sounds like a bad 70s porn track?). I think the best providers are able to balance this by finding a way to be at least marginally attracted to some aspect of a client and focus on that aspect.  If you are truly revolted by a client, and he is the least bit intuitive, it will impact the session. So if you know in advance that you will not be able to provide a good session for someone isn't it better to just be honest and say "No thanks" rather than entering into a session with a high likelihood of a poor outcome?

The next question then is, "Do providers have a right to dislike someone based simply on race?" The kneejerk reaction is to say "No", but what if race were replaced by weight or age?  We give hobbyists the right to reject providers based on a whole host of criteria.  Am I an "ageist" or a "weightist" because I don't want to be with a 70 year old obese woman?  I have been with women of almost every race and had good, bad and mediocre experiences with all of them.  One of my favorites experiences was with a gorgeous black woman and I think asian woman are fabulous, but I almost always choose caucasians so am I racist?  Is it my fault that I am most often attracted to white women? Should I be forced to divide my time equally between multiple races just to be PC? And if I'm not required to do that then why do providers have to live under different rules? Now I'm going to hide in my prepper shelter before the rock throwing begins.

HarryWotton 11 Reviews 683 reads
posted
36 / 86

what it feels like to be discriminated against (although affirmative action comes close and it is a ridiculous condescending/paternalistic policy).  I should state that I am not politically correct, I think it is a cancer that is eating away at us, I would much rather know how people truly think rather than have it cloaked behind niceties, euphemisms and falsehoods.

On to my point.  I am a hispanic guy, whatever the fuck that means, and when I signed up for P411, I was intrigued by the fact I was asked about my race, just like on many government forms.  Here is a newsflash:  hispanic/latin is not a race, anybody who has ever traveled to Latin America knows that we come in every color from black to lilly white.   I agree that ladies should be able to see whomever they want but I thought it was funny and sad that I felt it necessary to put down that I was a white hispanic.  On the one hand, I did not want to lie, I am an immigrant from a Spanish-speaking country, but on the other hand, I did not want to be turned down automatically based upon my fictitious race.

 
Posted By: AlysonParkeri/username]sex work is not free of racism, ignorance or bigotry. It has nothing to do with any kind of truth around STD stats (the way that research is being interpreted here is flawed at best) or African-Americans having the "least desirable qualities". It has to do with escorts being bigoted and uninformed.  
   
 These threads always bring out Olympic worthy mental gymnastics and sketchy social science but, as with most things, the most obvious answer is the correct one: racism is alive and well in the United States and especially in Chicago, the most segregated city in America.  
   
 I'm not saying that women should be "forced" to see anyone but hiding behind justifications puts the blame on the guys. It's their racism, not some universal truth about an entire race of people, that is behind their policy.  
   
 If we want to talk stats, let's talk about this one: white women are statistically more likely to be assaulted by men of their own race. The serial killers who have caused the most harm to sex workers are white. The men most known in the community for being problems? White. Agency owners who have been abusive and pimp like? Plenty of white men (and women) there. Yet all of this bad behavior has never led to a mass "no white men" policy because all of these men are seen as individuals. If we wanted to rule out a whole race of people due to "safety" it would most definitely be white people.  
   
 I've also often wondered if women who say "no AA" would see someone who is Black but not American. Like, do men from Europe or Canada or Africa get a pass?  
   
 And before someone raises the "but maybe she's just not attracted to black men; that's her choice!" argument, let's be real: there is no way to tell through a screening process if you will be attracted to your client or not. I doubt that every white man who walks through a "no AA" policy lady's door is turning her crank. Is she really more turned on by a white guy with bad breath and skid marks in his shorts than *any* Black man? Really? Carnal attraction isn't a base line for any of us and we all know it.  
   
 Another charming reason I've heard is that white clients prefer to see women who exclude Black men, which is one of the most twisted, vile things I've heard in a long time. There was a thread about that a while back and it was full of white clients saying "I'm not racist but..." (fill in the blank with pathetic excuses for wanting to see exclusionary providers). I'd much rather spend my time with non-white men who can afford to pay my rates (of which there are plenty; about 50% of my clients aren't white) than cater to that kind of thinking.  
   
 I've heard horror stories from all varieties of non-white men who pass screening with flying colors and then show up and get turned down (and the stories of women who slap the terrorist label on a whole range of nationalities are really special). Black men and Arab men in particular tend to disclose their race in introduction emails asking if I see non-white clients. No white client has ever had to ask if I will see him based on race and follow it up with "it's ok if you won't, I just like to check before hand".  
   
 A few years ago I was stiffed in a major way by an Asian client and rang the alarm bell about it quite loudly. It was embarrassing how many "OMG I always just thought it was Black men who I couldn't trust but maybe I shouldn't see Asians now either??" messages I received. Because you know, all non-white people represent their *entire* race.  
   
 So the common denominator in all this, as you can see, is the women and their backwards, racist policies. Which they are surely entitled to have, but that means that those of us who see through them are also entitled to call them out for what they really are.  
   
 Side note: racism in this industry exists on both sides of the coin. White clients love to describe non-white providers as "exotic" and discuss whether or not Black providers are "ghetto" or "articulate" or a whole host of other descriptors that they would never use for white providers (Asian and Latina American born providers are often asked where they are from; I have never once been asked this). All of that is let slide under the guise of "personal preference" and that underground industries shouldn't have to be "PC". So tiresome.  
   
   
   
   
   
 

nipring12 31 Reviews 909 reads
posted
37 / 86

Thought this was a real issue for you. Still it prompted a good discussion.

Littlestinker 862 reads
posted
38 / 86

That is like telling a lady she has no choice in who she shares her body with.

        I do not care what race you are it is a Women's choice who she shares her body with.

                                           Nobody else's but hers !

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 807 reads
posted
39 / 86

When you do start trying, keep us posted. There are hundreds and hundreds of providers in this city. Just maybe try to find ladies you research at any price point you want, but research her and try hard to get ladies you feel are more than 6's in looks. that alone will make your life a lot easier. I'm not saying dish out free 8's 9's and 10's, but girls you think may have a good shot at being super attractive to you may help you score higher too. and htere are hot girls at all price points. Just start with reviews, or maybe ask some of your friends you have has success with.

Just a suggestion.
 
Posted By: Black_Lynx
Thanks Courtney,  
  Honestly I haven't made any attempts.  I was making an observation based on what I have seen and what fellow hobbyists have told me.   I have ben successful but wanted to see other people's perspectives.  
   
 Cheers  
   
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
It's understandable why you would be confused or insulted. I personally see all races at my rate. I've found the rate is a better protected than a race preference.    
     
  I still am wondering if all the ladies you're trying to book with are flat out telling you it's because you're AA, and not some other reason.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1514 reads
posted
40 / 86
Black_Lynx 37 Reviews 1116 reads
posted
41 / 86

LOL my sincere apologies.... It is a real issue but not really one for me.  Still studying the Chicago landscape.  Your responses were quite insightful though.  Cheers

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 728 reads
posted
42 / 86

Those asking the questions want affirmation on what they already think they know, but when someone says a reason or two, it's disregarded, and said to be a false reason.

"Based on what I've read above racism on the part of providers is definitely at play (racism on the part of many hobbyists is a given). It seems evident that at least some of the women discriminate based on race and, while they may use fear of pimps or disease as justification, the truth is they just don't want to see AA clients."

 
So the question was asked, and people made suggestions and/or personal experiences stating why, (mine being not seeing Asians at a lower rate due to their many attempts to pimp me,) are evidently lying and making excuses.

Sorry, but pimping is a serious issue, and until you've been close to, or have been pimped, (or are a pimp trying to avoid strong men who can kick the crap out of you and take your girls,) you're just not going to get it, and that's fine.

Just kind of sucks that people have to tip toe around real issues because someone will use hate speech against them, when it may not at all be discrimination. (By definition, it is discrimination of a race, just not always malicious.)

Here's an odd recent occurrence:
I was walking down the street earlier today and saw a black man. I smiled at him, (he was cute lol,) and he smiled back.

Ten feet behind him was a black woman. I tried to smile at her and she wouldn't even look at me.

Immediately I thought, "She doesn't like me because I'm white." Then I though, "Duh, she's probably shy, you idiot. Why does she have to look at you to keep you from being insulted? It's her world. Let her have her alone time."

Same here. Does everyone who isn't white have to smile at me so I don't feel like they think I'm a snobby lilly white girl who feels entitled? I'm the last person who feels entitled to anything, and I'm extremely generous, sharing everything I have to those I care about, some I don't even know. My heart breaks for people who are in pain, in need, or have less than me. I almost can't bare to know it exists. I also try to think the best of people different than me, unless they really fuck me or a friend over. Then I brush them off. But my clothes, my hair, my make up, and my poise give the first and possibly lasting impression that I'm stuck up and selfish, and care only about how awesome I am.

That right there is a problem this world has, and if people could just stop arguing on invisible evidence they pull out of their ass about the intentions of others, everyone would be so much happier, less bitter, and we'd all be eating bon bons and helping each other out instead of blaming everyone for having bad intentions.

I wonder how many people we've gone up to in our lives who tried to do something nice for us, and we told them they were assholes for doing the very thing they thought would help us. It's insane.

end

-- Modified on 11/9/2014 4:21:33 PM

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 921 reads
posted
45 / 86

I'm glad you got your answer confirmed.

Next time you want to stereotype us Chicago gals, come on back. Sounds like some other ladies like hearing it.

 
 
Posted By: Black_Lynx
I love the way you think Ms Courtney

nipring12 31 Reviews 826 reads
posted
46 / 86

Clarifying.  I don't think you are racist at all.  Apologies if my post intimated that.  It was another post that lead me towards that perception, but my point was not to make accusations but asking if providers had a right to discriminate based on race as much as any other factor.  Just trying to frame an honest question to give balance to the debate.  It was meant as  a musing over the complexities of racism and freedom of choice in light of the intimate nature of your work environment but perhaps not well expressed. While it is hard not to give offense in a discussion of this nature I am trying hard not to do so while still trying to explore some difficult questions.  Thanks for your response. I do value your opinion.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 713 reads
posted
47 / 86

Oops. I'm getting mixed up now, lol. This guy is too much. Reading back, you're just summarizing. I got a little passionate there. It's a tough thing to talk about. I think it's up there with Politics & Religion. Hmmm...
 

Posted By: nipring12
Clarifying.  I don't think you are racist at all.  Apologies if my post intimated that.  It was another post that lead me towards that perception, but my point was not to make accusations but asking if providers had a right to discriminate based on race as much as any other factor.  Just trying to frame an honest question to give balance to the debate.  It was meant as  a musing over the complexities of racism and freedom of choice in light of the intimate nature of your work environment but perhaps not well expressed. While it is hard not to give offense in a discussion of this nature I am trying hard not to do so while still trying to explore some difficult questions.  Thanks for your response. I do value your opinion.

macdaddy1944 51 Reviews 1096 reads
posted
48 / 86

now..now kids..let's be nice..

nipring12 31 Reviews 811 reads
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49 / 86

Let's not lose sight of the most important controversial topic of them all - sex.  I think we've pretty well beat this one to death. It's been fun.  Hope another good topic comes up on the board soon. Love ya, Courtney and all the other contributors!  It's been a blast!

jackme2 20 Reviews 1082 reads
posted
50 / 86

I always thought it was because of your gynormous wangs. It's true, I've showered after games with black teammates.

Chauncey Gardner 853 reads
posted
51 / 86

I am a firm believer that no woman should ever have to see any man she wishes not to see and that she can and should use absolutely any criteria she wishes for screening purposes,  no matter what the rest of us might think about it.  It's her body.  

Having said that it's also good to dispel some of the more persistent and pernicious myths about black men.

-- Modified on 11/10/2014 11:15:30 AM

LawrenceOfaLabia 916 reads
posted
53 / 86

Reality check for you handsome ;-)

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 800 reads
posted
54 / 86

Well at least it was some good, meaningful drama lol

Posted By: nipring12
Let's not lose sight of the most important controversial topic of them all - sex.  I think we've pretty well beat this one to death. It's been fun.  Hope another good topic comes up on the board soon. Love ya, Courtney and all the other contributors!  It's been a blast!

GaGambler 873 reads
posted
55 / 86

I am usually on the other side of this argument and personally I can't stand the "race baiters" who look for racism under every rock like most white liberals and a few actual black people like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, but to deny racism exists and to try to change the very meaning of the word to justify ones behavior is complete fucking bullshit and I repeat that this very thread and many of the responses to your OP are proof positive that racism is alive and well in the Windy City.

Some of you guys' (and gals" should be ashamed of your double speak and covert racism, I would rather have to overt racism that you get from a southern redneck than the closet racism you see from white bread liberals. At least the redneck is honest about the way he feels and that's something you can deal with, You cowards who talk about equality, but would never dream of associating with "those people"  except when you have to, you people disgust me.

GaGambler 900 reads
posted
56 / 86

what I cannot support is trying to redefine the word to make one feel better about oneself. If a person wants to be a racist, it's a free country, and what can be a more personal decision that the right to fuck or not fuck whoever you want to?

That said, if a woman doesn't want to fuck black guys, why even bother trying to claim she not a racist? No one with half a brain buys the excuses, and from a practical standpoint why should she care what "those people" think anyhow?

and Courtney, for the record there are a LOT of women at your price point with NBA policies, just check out P411 or any other escort mall if you doubt me.

GaGambler 895 reads
posted
57 / 86

and a guy who "refuses" to see women of any particular race is every bit as racist.

Now that doesn't mean we can't have our preferences, and it certainly doesn't mean that we should pretend that we are "all the same" because there most definitely are differences between the races. Personally I will admit that I most definitely have "preferences" and I don't mind sharing them right here and now. I like, in order Asian, Latina, White and then Black if we are going to talk about generalities, but I would never dream of refusing to have sex with someone because of their color.  Come to think of it I had sex with a chica this afternoon, not to mention several others over the last several days as I am back in Costa Rica,  I had sex with a black girl Friday night, an Asian girl on Thursday and my white FWB on Monday. So I guess I have hit every one just in the course of the last week. lol

There is nothing wrong with having preferences, but  to make a blanket statement that "I will only fuck people of these certain races" is as racist as you can get.  and that equally true for both men and women.

As for choosing a "juicy latina" over you, I can' only speak for myself when I say that would be a matter of age,  not race. You know full well that I am an "ageist" and I wear that badge with honor. The good news for you is that at least here on TER, I seem to be in the minority where it comes to only wanting the young, hot ones, most of the guys here seem to like their women with a few years under their belt, So maybe I am the guy who has got it all wrong? lol

Angela_Petite2 See my TER Reviews 831 reads
posted
58 / 86

Posted By: Black_Lynx
Thank you for validating my thoughts as an observer who is new to the city.  Cheers.  I am Black but was raised in Europe so Cheers again.

JosephineBelle See my TER Reviews 822 reads
posted
59 / 86

When you say "I'm not attracted to x race" it's based solely on stereotypes. Black women, for example, come in every shape, size and color you can imagine. Halle Berry is Black, obviously, so is Naomi Campbell, but, guess what, so is Nicole Richie and Rashida Jones and Adriana Lima and plenty of women that these same people calling Black woman unattractive would call attractive. Hell, I get emails EVERYDAY from men saying "I'm usually not attracted to Black women but you're beautiful" and variations thereof.  

So, when you say "I'm not attracted to this race," you're saying "I have a negative image of what people of this race look like and I'm not attracted to it," and that's racist, end of story. Be racist all you want, just don't do these mental gymnastics to try to pretend you're not. You can do what you want with your body, but sometimes, those preferences and restrictions are actually discriminatory. No one's gonna force you to fuck a Black guy if you don't want to but maybe you should do some soul searching to find out why you don't want to.
Posted By: JuliasLittleSecret
Any more than a man who will not see a woman of a particular race is defined as racist.    
   
 Some men are not attracted to white women, or Asian women, or black women.  And I know ladies who have plenty of black male friends who just aren't physically attracted to black men as sexual partners.  It's not because they feel that black men are beneath them...they simply aren't physically attracted to them.  And there is no racism if this is the case, IMO.  
   
 I think that most of us are attracted to certain races for one reason or another...it's just chemistry, not racism.    
   
 Although I do applaud your support of the right to be racist.  It's a very honest and acceptable statement, IMO.  :)  I never feel discriminated against when a man chooses a juicy Latina over me...hell, I might even like her better myself.  LOL  
   
 =P  
   
Posted By: GaGambler
what I cannot support is trying to redefine the word to make one feel better about oneself. If a person wants to be a racist, it's a free country, and what can be a more personal decision that the right to fuck or not fuck whoever you want to?  
   
 That said, if a woman doesn't want to fuck black guys, why even bother trying to claim she not a racist? No one with half a brain buys the excuses, and from a practical standpoint why should she care what "those people" think anyhow?  
   
 and Courtney, for the record there are a LOT of women at your price point with NBA policies, just check out P411 or any other escort mall if you doubt me.
-- Modified on 11/10/2014 8:14:00 PM

JosephineBelle See my TER Reviews 740 reads
posted
60 / 86

I wasn't specifically talking to you, I was talking to anyone who says these things. If it doesn't apply to you, then why are you so offended? I said that women/people have the right to do with their bodies what they please, and that no one's forcing anyone to do anything, but preferences can and often are racist and discriminatory and it's up to individuals to evaluate why they feel the way they do and why these "preferences" align so perfectly with society's negative ideas and stereotypes about certain people. Hi, I'm also a hooker. I'm not going to tell any other hooker how to run her business, but, as a Black woman, hearing people constantly write off all 50 million of my people as looking and acting a certain way is kind of hurtful, or did you not consider that we are human beings with feelings who hear this bullshit every single day of our lives?

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1307 reads
posted
61 / 86

Not that we can create a definition out of thin air, but we generally look at a word and put different meanings to the word.

Here are two definitions I found.

1. animosity toward other races: prejudice or animosity against people who belong to other races
Animosity is a hostile stance toward something

 
2. belief in racial superiority: the belief that people of different races have different qualities and abilities, and that some races are inherently superior or inferior

How I have been viewing the term racism is a passionate going against a race due to the belief that all of a certain race is bad. When dealing with races vs risk involved based on experience over a period of time, some people may not be against the color of the skin, as much as their chances of having problems. Not ALL, but some.

I see racism as a very hostile, hateful word. I don't think the "No AA Men" is written with hate in all cases, it just may be laziness in the risk prevention department, or possibly a prejudice. But labeling them as racist, thinking they themselves are a better race entirely, I don't think that's true.

 
I've heard more ladies not wanting to see East Indian. When they explain it, it's generally their sexual behaviors or their diet. (Or circumcised vs uncircumcised). Do they not like Indians themselves? I'm not so sure. I think they just aren't comfortable with the 50% of past clientele who had different ways of expressing their sexuality. I do know this is true, because I've seen, and still see, a lot of East Indian gentlemen. I personally enjoy them, but also know they have some things they enjoy that I wasn't used to at first. Some gals choose not to risk something they aren't comfortable with.

 
Some cultures are also very rough.

 
It sucks that people have problems figuring out if the specific person meets their qualifications through extra screening, but a lot of people don't know how to get to that result, so they simply close the door on anything that can have a chance of bringing that kind of client in.

 

Anyway, just like no one can truly point a finger and judge each and every person's intent behind the limit, I can't say they're NOT racist. I'm questioning if they are truly saying that the AA race is inferior to other races. I highly doubt all are thinking this way.

 
Gambler, I don't really read other ladies' profiles on P411, so I never picked that one up.

 
Oh! Also, hotels. If the girl hosts an Incall, I wonder if they're worrying about neighbors talking more about AA men coming in and out, and becoming suspicious. This puts an entirely different spin on this, actually. When thinking about it, neighbors noticing AA's more than whites, etc, is a natural prejudice.

Hmmmm.... Interesting.

JosephineBelle See my TER Reviews 878 reads
posted
62 / 86

Anytime you base your opinion of an entire race--literally millions of people--on stereotypes of what you imagine them to be like, it's racist. You see racist as a hostile word, I see racist as something almost everyone is to some extent and has to work to unlearn. An employer can't say "I don't hire Black people but I'll eat lunch with them" and not be considered racist, so why would it not be racist to say "I would never fuck a Black/Asian/whatever POC but I still LIKE them?" It's the same thing. You have a negative idea in your head about that race and have decided all people of that race fit that negative idea so you're writing them off based SOLELY on their race. I've had men reject me after approaching me because I clarify that I am and identify as Black (even though I'm mixed), so don't pretend that any sort of "preference" is based on anything but an aversion to that race and has nothing to do with individuals. It's racist, and it's fine, fuck or don't fuck who you want, but do not pretend that it's not racist to literally reject people without knowing them based SOLELY on their racial background. That is the dictionary definition of racism, there is no "different definitions." It means what it means.

Posted By: Courtney.Ova
Not that we can create a definition out of thin air, but we generally look at a word and put different meanings to the word.  
   
 Here are two definitions I found.  
   
 1. animosity toward other races: prejudice or animosity against people who belong to other races  
 Animosity is a hostile stance toward something  
   
   
 2. belief in racial superiority: the belief that people of different races have different qualities and abilities, and that some races are inherently superior or inferior  
   
 How I have been viewing the term racism is a passionate going against a race due to the belief that all of a certain race is bad. When dealing with races vs risk involved based on experience over a period of time, some people may not be against the color of the skin, as much as their chances of having problems. Not ALL, but some.  
   
 I see racism as a very hostile, hateful word. I don't think the "No AA Men" is written with hate in all cases, it just may be laziness in the risk prevention department, or possibly a prejudice. But labeling them as racist, thinking they themselves are a better race entirely, I don't think that's true.  
   
   
 I've heard more ladies not wanting to see East Indian. When they explain it, it's generally their sexual behaviors or their diet. (Or circumcised vs uncircumcised). Do they not like Indians themselves? I'm not so sure. I think they just aren't comfortable with the 50% of past clientele who had different ways of expressing their sexuality. I do know this is true, because I've seen, and still see, a lot of East Indian gentlemen. I personally enjoy them, but also know they have some things they enjoy that I wasn't used to at first. Some gals choose not to risk something they aren't comfortable with.  
   
   
 Some cultures are also very rough.  
   
   
 It sucks that people have problems figuring out if the specific person meets their qualifications through extra screening, but a lot of people don't know how to get to that result, so they simply close the door on anything that can have a chance of bringing that kind of client in.  
   
   
   
 Anyway, just like no one can truly point a finger and judge each and every person's intent behind the limit, I can't say they're NOT racist. I'm questioning if they are truly saying that the AA race is inferior to other races. I highly doubt all are thinking this way.  
   
   
 Gambler, I don't really read other ladies' profiles on P411, so I never picked that one up.  
   
   
 Oh! Also, hotels. If the girl hosts an Incall, I wonder if they're worrying about neighbors talking more about AA men coming in and out, and becoming suspicious. This puts an entirely different spin on this, actually. When thinking about it, neighbors noticing AA's more than whites, etc, is a natural prejudice.  
   
 Hmmmm.... Interesting.

GaGambler 946 reads
posted
63 / 86

Just own it, by your own words you are exhibiting racist behavior. Why can't you be honest about it. I freely admitted to being an "ageist" and I am sure there are many people who will condemn me for it, especially the members of the OTHFBC and their many, many supporters, but I don't really care about their opinion, why should you care if people don't like the fact that you are a racist? Because refusing to see ANYONE of a particular race, any race, certainly makes you a racist. and that's your right, all i am asking you to do is own it.

and NO that does not make you a white supremacist, it does however make you a racist, sorry to burst your bubble.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 881 reads
posted
64 / 86

I was afraid of any penises of any other color. Lol. I still went on a date with one black guy, but didn't click physically, and it was new to me. (Sex in general was new to me also.)

Through doing this line of work and seeing numerous black men, I've grown a taste for them. I even considered that to be my next serious boyfriend, because I really like them.

I also dated an Indian. It was awesome and he was Hawt. It just didn't work out because he always wanted to cook, but It was way too spicy. Youch!

I've grown to like it, though. I was not naturally attracted to other races until I was ready. But I always liked the people as people. Never had a problem, just didn't feel like fucking any men but white men.

I'm not naturally attracted to guys under 30. I don't date them IRL. At least not now. Next year? I don't know.

It's all where we're at in our own seasons on who we have a taste for or don't. Regarding attraction in this business, that's a hard one, because our job is to sometimes date people we wouldn't normally date.

 
Maybe, in the end, people feel something and just don't really know how to define or explain it, so they say this or that. It may not be 100% true, but thinking the worst because a lie is detected isn't going to get to the real truth. It can just be a simple (complex) communication glitch.

 
We all are pointing fingers at everyone else, but we can't even figure our own selves out enough to judge our true reasons. Nobody really knows here. I really believe that.

-- Modified on 11/10/2014 10:19:08 PM

JosephineBelle See my TER Reviews 1241 reads
posted
65 / 86

Age and race aren't similar. And your saying you "have a taste for Black men" is actually kind of racist in itself because you're sort of fetishizing them, so, um, you know, don't be gross.

That's nice if people "grow into" an attraction to other races, whatever. I'm not going to pretend I don't tend to date white men. The difference is, I don't say "I WILL NEVER DATE OR FUCK SOMEONE OF X RACE." I just, you know, don't date them but I don't rule them out. It's the proud declaration that's fucking racist. It's the outright rejection of, again, MILLIONS OF PEOPLE, sight unseen that's fucking racist. Call it what YOU want. But this Black woman, who hears this shit a million times a day aimed at other Black women (just look up "Black girls" on Twitter and see people insulting us for entertainment), is gonna call it like she sees it.  

Let me post an ad saying "no white men" and see how quickly people jump down my throat for being biased. But it's okay for the "others," right? It's okay to exclude people of color, right? Right.
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
I was afraid of any penises of any other color. Lol. I still went on a date with one black guy, but didn't click physically, and it was new to me. (Sex in general was new to me also.)  
   
 Through doing this line of work and seeing numerous black men, I've grown a taste for them. I even considered that to be my next serious boyfriend, because I really like them.  
   
 I also dated an Indian. It was awesome and he was Hawt. It just didn't work out because he always wanted to cook, but It was way too spicy. Youch!  
   
 I've grown to like it, though. I was not naturally attracted to other races until I was ready. But I liked the people themselves.  
 I'm not naturally attracted to guys under 30. I don't date them IRL. At least not now. Next year? I don't know.  
   
 It's all where we're at in our own seasons on who we have a taste for or don't. Regarding attraction in this business, that's a hard one, because our job is to sometimes date people we wouldn't normally date.  
   
   
 Maybe, in the end, people feel something and just don't really know how to define or explain it, so they say this or that. It may not be 100% true, but thinking the worst because a lie is detected isn't going to get to the real truth. It can just be a simple (complex) communication glitch.  
   
   
 We all are pointing fingers at everyone else, but we can't even figure our own selves out enough to judge our true reasons. Nobody really knows here. I really believe that.

JosephineBelle See my TER Reviews 828 reads
posted
66 / 86

Society and the media has done a great job of convincing us that all Black people are criminals, all Asian women are submissive, all Asian men have tiny penises, all Mexicans are illegal, all Indians own 7/11s and all kinds of stereotypes that you have internalized without realizing it. Consider why your preferences align perfectly with who society deems undesireable. Could it be because you were TAUGHT that Black people are ugly and thugs and pimps and criminals? Could it be because you've been bombarded with messages that otherize and exoticize every race except white? Everyone has some deconstructing to do, hell, I went through a long phase where I thought I was "better" than other Black people because I have light skin and a white dad. Really THINK about why you think one or two experiences with members of a certain race represents how their entire race--millions of people--behave. Look at yourself, look at what you've internalized. Racism is alive and well and if you're not actively fighting it not only within yourself but when you see it, then you're contributing to its continuation.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 973 reads
posted
68 / 86

I don't know what kind of people you hang around, but go copy and paste some definitions of racism. Because you are REDEFINING it just so you can tell me I'm racist for sharing a fantasy?

I do discriminate against severely opinionated, judgmental people. I now know I'll never be able to explain my thoughts to someone who not only doesn't understand it, but someone who doesn't understand it because they refuse to. You want us to be racist, so I have a thought about a preference, and now I'm racist.

I can't even have a discussion without getting stones thrown at me just for discussing something. Now I got hit with the racism stone. Bravo, you've proven that yet another woman is racist. Apparently I don't get to join your team because I choose not to pick random people and statements and call them terrible names, and make large accusations on their character. Do you have any idea the horrible name you just threw at me?



-- Modified on 11/11/2014 8:30:38 AM

JosephineBelle See my TER Reviews 912 reads
posted
69 / 86

Saying you're racist isn't an insult. Maybe when someone says you're doing racist things, you should evaluate why instead of getting offended and going on the defensive. This is why racism still exists in this world, because white people, like you, think being called racist is a personal attack rather than acknolwedging that something you did can be harmful to people who don't look like you. That attitude won't change anything. Yes, fetishizing is racist. It's the same shit as when guys call me their little chocolate whatever, or tell me how much they're dying to "try" a Black chick. All you're doing is cementing the idea that Black people are some anomaly compared to white people and that white is the default.  

Sorry, not sorry, it's racist. I'm not insulting you by saying that, instead, I'm hopefully giving you a reason to think about why you think the way you do and hopefully change for the better. 'Cause, newsflash, I'd love it if everyone WEREN'T racist, and didn't have those thoughts and ideas. I'm Black, remember? Everyone being racist ISN'T a benefit for me.  
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
I don't know what kind of people you hang around, but go copy and paste some definitions of racism. Because you are REDEFINING it just so you can tell me I'm racist for sharing a fantasy?  
   
 I do discriminate against severely opinionated, judgmental people. I now know I'll never be able to explain my thoughts to so done who not only doesn't understand it, but someone who doesn't understand it because they refuse to. You want us to be racist, so I have a thought about a preference, and now I'm racist.

-- Modified on 11/11/2014 8:25:19 AM

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 807 reads
posted
70 / 86

The employer is breaking the law.  

Look  I get that you've seen a lot more as a black woman than anything I have ever seen. I've never been through what you have. I've been through similar things when I was a church goer, always being accused of involvement with starting wars, killing people, being judgmental, and having bad intentions toward humanity, when all I was doing was being happy in the thing I'd chosen.

I feel like innocent bystanders are getting accused of something they never had anything to do with. Many are just living their lives, doing their thing, and getting along with everyone.

I'm not saying providers who don't see black men AREN'T racist people. I'm simply saying, I don't know that they ARE, and no one does.  

I have never argued that it's because they're not attracted - because as a provider, I've never felt I needed to be attracted to man for him to pay me. It doesn't make sense. But I do know there are guys out there who put that on lady's ads to avoid other pimps stronger than them. It's not the girl, it's the person doing her ads. Is it right? No. Neither is pimping a girl.  

 

 

There are different variations and/or ways to define something.  

 
Posted By: JosephineBelle
Anytime you base your opinion of an entire race--literally millions of people--on stereotypes of what you imagine them to be like, it's racist. You see racist as a hostile word, I see racist as something almost everyone is to some extent and has to work to unlearn. An employer can't say "I don't hire Black people but I'll eat lunch with them" and not be considered racist, so why would it not be racist to say "I would never fuck a Black/Asian/whatever POC but I still LIKE them?" It's the same thing. You have a negative idea in your head about that race and have decided all people of that race fit that negative idea so you're writing them off based SOLELY on their race. I've had men reject me after approaching me because I clarify that I am and identify as Black (even though I'm mixed), so don't pretend that any sort of "preference" is based on anything but an aversion to that race and has nothing to do with individuals. It's racist, and it's fine, fuck or don't fuck who you want, but do not pretend that it's not racist to literally reject people without knowing them based SOLELY on their racial background. That is the dictionary definition of racism, there is no "different definitions." It means what it means.  
   
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
Not that we can create a definition out of thin air, but we generally look at a word and put different meanings to the word.  
     
  Here are two definitions I found.  
     
  1. animosity toward other races: prejudice or animosity against people who belong to other races  
  Animosity is a hostile stance toward something  
     
     
  2. belief in racial superiority: the belief that people of different races have different qualities and abilities, and that some races are inherently superior or inferior  
     
  How I have been viewing the term racism is a passionate going against a race due to the belief that all of a certain race is bad. When dealing with races vs risk involved based on experience over a period of time, some people may not be against the color of the skin, as much as their chances of having problems. Not ALL, but some.  
     
  I see racism as a very hostile, hateful word. I don't think the "No AA Men" is written with hate in all cases, it just may be laziness in the risk prevention department, or possibly a prejudice. But labeling them as racist, thinking they themselves are a better race entirely, I don't think that's true.  
     
     
  I've heard more ladies not wanting to see East Indian. When they explain it, it's generally their sexual behaviors or their diet. (Or circumcised vs uncircumcised). Do they not like Indians themselves? I'm not so sure. I think they just aren't comfortable with the 50% of past clientele who had different ways of expressing their sexuality. I do know this is true, because I've seen, and still see, a lot of East Indian gentlemen. I personally enjoy them, but also know they have some things they enjoy that I wasn't used to at first. Some gals choose not to risk something they aren't comfortable with.  
     
     
  Some cultures are also very rough.  
     
     
  It sucks that people have problems figuring out if the specific person meets their qualifications through extra screening, but a lot of people don't know how to get to that result, so they simply close the door on anything that can have a chance of bringing that kind of client in.  
     
     
     
  Anyway, just like no one can truly point a finger and judge each and every person's intent behind the limit, I can't say they're NOT racist. I'm questioning if they are truly saying that the AA race is inferior to other races. I highly doubt all are thinking this way.  
     
     
  Gambler, I don't really read other ladies' profiles on P411, so I never picked that one up.  
     
     
  Oh! Also, hotels. If the girl hosts an Incall, I wonder if they're worrying about neighbors talking more about AA men coming in and out, and becoming suspicious. This puts an entirely different spin on this, actually. When thinking about it, neighbors noticing AA's more than whites, etc, is a natural prejudice.  
     
  Hmmmm.... Interesting.

JosephineBelle See my TER Reviews 946 reads
posted
71 / 86

You don't have to be a card carrying KKK member to do racist things. Are the girls that ban AA men racist? Maybe, I never said they were. But the ACT of barring a certain race based on nothing but stereotypes IS a racist act. You don't have to be a professional boxer to punch me in the face and you don't have to be an overt racist to be guilty of racism. It's literally that simple. The law means nothing in my example because there are plenty of racist laws on the books to this day (as well as a racist police force and prison industrial complex but that's a different story). How can you acknowledge that you have never experienced the same racism as a white woman as I have as a Black woman and still try to say you know better than me about this subject? I haven't accused ANYONE of BEING a racist, just doing racist things.  

Posted By: Courtney.Ova
The employer is breaking the law.  
   
 Look  I get that you've seen a lot more as a black woman than anything I have ever seen. I've never been through what you have. I've been through similar things when I was a church goer, always being accused of involvement with starting wars, killing people, being judgmental, and having bad intentions toward humanity, when all I was doing was being happy in the thing I'd chosen.  
   
 I feel like innocent bystanders are getting accused of something they never had anything to do with. Many are just living their lives, doing their thing, and getting along with everyone.  
   
 I'm not saying providers who don't see black men AREN'T racist people. I'm simply saying, I don't know that they ARE, and no one does.  
   
 I have never argued that it's because they're not attracted - because as a provider, I've never felt I needed to be attracted to man for him to pay me. It doesn't make sense. But I do know there are guys out there who put that on lady's ads to avoid other pimps stronger than them. It's not the girl, it's the person doing her ads. Is it right? No. Neither is pimping a girl.  
   
   
   
   
   
 There are different variations and/or ways to define something.  
   
   
   
Posted By: JosephineBelle
Anytime you base your opinion of an entire race--literally millions of people--on stereotypes of what you imagine them to be like, it's racist. You see racist as a hostile word, I see racist as something almost everyone is to some extent and has to work to unlearn. An employer can't say "I don't hire Black people but I'll eat lunch with them" and not be considered racist, so why would it not be racist to say "I would never fuck a Black/Asian/whatever POC but I still LIKE them?" It's the same thing. You have a negative idea in your head about that race and have decided all people of that race fit that negative idea so you're writing them off based SOLELY on their race. I've had men reject me after approaching me because I clarify that I am and identify as Black (even though I'm mixed), so don't pretend that any sort of "preference" is based on anything but an aversion to that race and has nothing to do with individuals. It's racist, and it's fine, fuck or don't fuck who you want, but do not pretend that it's not racist to literally reject people without knowing them based SOLELY on their racial background. That is the dictionary definition of racism, there is no "different definitions." It means what it means.  
     
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
Not that we can create a definition out of thin air, but we generally look at a word and put different meanings to the word.    
       
   Here are two definitions I found.    
       
   1. animosity toward other races: prejudice or animosity against people who belong to other races    
   Animosity is a hostile stance toward something    
       
       
   2. belief in racial superiority: the belief that people of different races have different qualities and abilities, and that some races are inherently superior or inferior    
       
   How I have been viewing the term racism is a passionate going against a race due to the belief that all of a certain race is bad. When dealing with races vs risk involved based on experience over a period of time, some people may not be against the color of the skin, as much as their chances of having problems. Not ALL, but some.    
       
   I see racism as a very hostile, hateful word. I don't think the "No AA Men" is written with hate in all cases, it just may be laziness in the risk prevention department, or possibly a prejudice. But labeling them as racist, thinking they themselves are a better race entirely, I don't think that's true.    
       
       
   I've heard more ladies not wanting to see East Indian. When they explain it, it's generally their sexual behaviors or their diet. (Or circumcised vs uncircumcised). Do they not like Indians themselves? I'm not so sure. I think they just aren't comfortable with the 50% of past clientele who had different ways of expressing their sexuality. I do know this is true, because I've seen, and still see, a lot of East Indian gentlemen. I personally enjoy them, but also know they have some things they enjoy that I wasn't used to at first. Some gals choose not to risk something they aren't comfortable with.    
       
       
   Some cultures are also very rough.    
       
       
   It sucks that people have problems figuring out if the specific person meets their qualifications through extra screening, but a lot of people don't know how to get to that result, so they simply close the door on anything that can have a chance of bringing that kind of client in.    
       
       
       
   Anyway, just like no one can truly point a finger and judge each and every person's intent behind the limit, I can't say they're NOT racist. I'm questioning if they are truly saying that the AA race is inferior to other races. I highly doubt all are thinking this way.    
       
       
   Gambler, I don't really read other ladies' profiles on P411, so I never picked that one up.    
       
       
   Oh! Also, hotels. If the girl hosts an Incall, I wonder if they're worrying about neighbors talking more about AA men coming in and out, and becoming suspicious. This puts an entirely different spin on this, actually. When thinking about it, neighbors noticing AA's more than whites, etc, is a natural prejudice.    
       
   Hmmmm.... Interesting.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 951 reads
posted
72 / 86

You just said something racist back to me. How does the fact that I'm a white girl have anything to do with this? What if I was Puerto Rican and said the same thing?

This is exactly why I'm insulted. Because my explanations are taken in a completely different light because I'm white. I guess I wish everyone wasn't racist too. Because I've taken a lot of shit, and even been unfriended by black friends just for being white. Then they go preach on Facebook how they are fighting racism. (This is an example for the sake of exposing hypocrisy)

If they would just live up to it themselves, maybe more people would listen. But I see what they say as pointless, because I don't see them living it.  

Don't you feel like the "No AAs" are a personal attack? I understand why. But I kind of see the 'white girls - like you' all the time. It's frustrating.

 
Posted By: JosephineBelle
S This is why racism still exists in this world, because white people, like you, think being called racist is a personal attack rather than acknolwedging that something you did can be harmful to people who don't look like you. That attitude won't change anything. Yes, fetishizing is racist. It's the same shit as when guys call me their little chocolate whatever, or tell me how much they're dying to "try" a Black chick. All you're doing is cementing the idea that Black people are some anomaly compared to white people and that white is the default.  
   
 Sorry, not sorry, it's racist. I'm not insulting you by saying that, instead, I'm hopefully giving you a reason to think about why you think the way you do and hopefully change for the better. 'Cause, newsflash, I'd love it if everyone WEREN'T racist, and didn't have those thoughts and ideas. I'm Black, remember? Everyone being racist ISN'T a benefit for me.  
   
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
I don't know what kind of people you hang around, but go copy and paste some definitions of racism. Because you are REDEFINING it just so you can tell me I'm racist for sharing a fantasy?  
     
  I do discriminate against severely opinionated, judgmental people. I now know I'll never be able to explain my thoughts to so done who not only doesn't understand it, but someone who doesn't understand it because they refuse to. You want us to be racist, so I have a thought about a preference, and now I'm racist.  
   
 -- Modified on 11/11/2014 8:25:19 AM
-- Modified on 11/11/2014 9:04:47 AM

JosephineBelle See my TER Reviews 818 reads
posted
73 / 86

You being white affects your life experience and world view. Sorry, white people aren't discriminated against based on race on nearly the same scale as people of color. That's not racist, that's fact. White privilege is quantifiable and fact. If you were Puerto Rican, that wouldn't change anything unless you were Black because, hi, Puerto Rican isn't a race! There are white Puerto Ricans and white ones and indigenous ones, come on, this is 101 level shit.

That's sad you've been "unfriended because you were white," but I'm sure that's not the only reason. Call me, though, when someone calls you the N-word to your face for just walking by, or you get stopped by the police for just existing in close proximity to them, or overhear an interviewer saying "I didn't think she'd be Black" before telling you the position has been filled, then maybe we can have an informed conversation on racism.  
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
You just said something racist back to me. How does the fact that I'm a white girl have anything to do with this? What if I was Puerto Rican and said the same thing?  
   
 This is exactly why I'm insulted. Because my explanations are taken in a completely different light because I'm white. I guess I wish everyone wasn't racist too. Because I've taken a lot of shit, and even been unfriended by black friends just for being white. Then they go preach on Facebook how they are fighting racism. (This is an example for the sake of exposing hypocrisy)  
   
 If they would just live up to it themselves, maybe more people would listen. But I see what they say as pointless, because I don't see them living it.  
   
 Don't you feel like the "No AAs" are a personal attack? I understand why. But I kind of see the 'white girls - like you' all the time. It's frustrating.  
   
   
   
Posted By: JosephineBelle
S This is why racism still exists in this world, because white people, like you, think being called racist is a personal attack rather than acknolwedging that something you did can be harmful to people who don't look like you. That attitude won't change anything. Yes, fetishizing is racist. It's the same shit as when guys call me their little chocolate whatever, or tell me how much they're dying to "try" a Black chick. All you're doing is cementing the idea that Black people are some anomaly compared to white people and that white is the default.    
     
  Sorry, not sorry, it's racist. I'm not insulting you by saying that, instead, I'm hopefully giving you a reason to think about why you think the way you do and hopefully change for the better. 'Cause, newsflash, I'd love it if everyone WEREN'T racist, and didn't have those thoughts and ideas. I'm Black, remember? Everyone being racist ISN'T a benefit for me.    
     
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
I don't know what kind of people you hang around, but go copy and paste some definitions of racism. Because you are REDEFINING it just so you can tell me I'm racist for sharing a fantasy?    
       
   I do discriminate against severely opinionated, judgmental people. I now know I'll never be able to explain my thoughts to so done who not only doesn't understand it, but someone who doesn't understand it because they refuse to. You want us to be racist, so I have a thought about a preference, and now I'm racist.  
     
  -- Modified on 11/11/2014 8:25:19 AM
-- Modified on 11/11/2014 9:04:47 AM

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 985 reads
posted
74 / 86

Ok, makes sense. You're right, doing racist things is completely different that being racist.

The intent is never to do a racist thing, but pointing it out will help them understand. (Myself included). As long as people don't feel someone is being malicious behind those actions, or that little puff of smoke means there's a fire of racism within that person.

I don't get why we have to even be separate and hate that we even have to discuss this.

But I do apologize for misreading, and getting insulted so quickly. It's just upsetting to me to think it's so easy to come across as someone who is a racist person. Unfortunately, it does exist, so we have to live with the fact that some things we say may come across as insulting when it wasn't always the intent. It is what it is,

 
Posted By: JosephineBelle
You don't have to be a card carrying KKK member to do racist things. Are the girls that ban AA men racist? Maybe, I never said they were. But the ACT of barring a certain race based on nothing but stereotypes IS a racist act. You don't have to be a professional boxer to punch me in the face and you don't have to be an overt racist to be guilty of racism. It's literally that simple. The law means nothing in my example because there are plenty of racist laws on the books to this day (as well as a racist police force and prison industrial complex but that's a different story). How can you acknowledge that you have never experienced the same racism as a white woman as I have as a Black woman and still try to say you know better than me about this subject? I haven't accused ANYONE of BEING a racist, just doing racist things.  
   
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
The employer is breaking the law.    
     
  Look  I get that you've seen a lot more as a black woman than anything I have ever seen. I've never been through what you have. I've been through similar things when I was a church goer, always being accused of involvement with starting wars, killing people, being judgmental, and having bad intentions toward humanity, when all I was doing was being happy in the thing I'd chosen.  
     
  I feel like innocent bystanders are getting accused of something they never had anything to do with. Many are just living their lives, doing their thing, and getting along with everyone.  
     
  I'm not saying providers who don't see black men AREN'T racist people. I'm simply saying, I don't know that they ARE, and no one does.    
     
  I have never argued that it's because they're not attracted - because as a provider, I've never felt I needed to be attracted to man for him to pay me. It doesn't make sense. But I do know there are guys out there who put that on lady's ads to avoid other pimps stronger than them. It's not the girl, it's the person doing her ads. Is it right? No. Neither is pimping a girl.    
     
     
     
     
     
  There are different variations and/or ways to define something.    
     
     
     
Posted By: JosephineBelle
Anytime you base your opinion of an entire race--literally millions of people--on stereotypes of what you imagine them to be like, it's racist. You see racist as a hostile word, I see racist as something almost everyone is to some extent and has to work to unlearn. An employer can't say "I don't hire Black people but I'll eat lunch with them" and not be considered racist, so why would it not be racist to say "I would never fuck a Black/Asian/whatever POC but I still LIKE them?" It's the same thing. You have a negative idea in your head about that race and have decided all people of that race fit that negative idea so you're writing them off based SOLELY on their race. I've had men reject me after approaching me because I clarify that I am and identify as Black (even though I'm mixed), so don't pretend that any sort of "preference" is based on anything but an aversion to that race and has nothing to do with individuals. It's racist, and it's fine, fuck or don't fuck who you want, but do not pretend that it's not racist to literally reject people without knowing them based SOLELY on their racial background. That is the dictionary definition of racism, there is no "different definitions." It means what it means.    
       
   
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
Not that we can create a definition out of thin air, but we generally look at a word and put different meanings to the word.    
         
    Here are two definitions I found.    
         
    1. animosity toward other races: prejudice or animosity against people who belong to other races    
    Animosity is a hostile stance toward something    
         
         
    2. belief in racial superiority: the belief that people of different races have different qualities and abilities, and that some races are inherently superior or inferior    
         
    How I have been viewing the term racism is a passionate going against a race due to the belief that all of a certain race is bad. When dealing with races vs risk involved based on experience over a period of time, some people may not be against the color of the skin, as much as their chances of having problems. Not ALL, but some.    
         
    I see racism as a very hostile, hateful word. I don't think the "No AA Men" is written with hate in all cases, it just may be laziness in the risk prevention department, or possibly a prejudice. But labeling them as racist, thinking they themselves are a better race entirely, I don't think that's true.    
         
         
    I've heard more ladies not wanting to see East Indian. When they explain it, it's generally their sexual behaviors or their diet. (Or circumcised vs uncircumcised). Do they not like Indians themselves? I'm not so sure. I think they just aren't comfortable with the 50% of past clientele who had different ways of expressing their sexuality. I do know this is true, because I've seen, and still see, a lot of East Indian gentlemen. I personally enjoy them, but also know they have some things they enjoy that I wasn't used to at first. Some gals choose not to risk something they aren't comfortable with.    
         
         
    Some cultures are also very rough.    
         
         
    It sucks that people have problems figuring out if the specific person meets their qualifications through extra screening, but a lot of people don't know how to get to that result, so they simply close the door on anything that can have a chance of bringing that kind of client in.    
         
         
         
    Anyway, just like no one can truly point a finger and judge each and every person's intent behind the limit, I can't say they're NOT racist. I'm questioning if they are truly saying that the AA race is inferior to other races. I highly doubt all are thinking this way.    
         
         
    Gambler, I don't really read other ladies' profiles on P411, so I never picked that one up.    
         
         
    Oh! Also, hotels. If the girl hosts an Incall, I wonder if they're worrying about neighbors talking more about AA men coming in and out, and becoming suspicious. This puts an entirely different spin on this, actually. When thinking about it, neighbors noticing AA's more than whites, etc, is a natural prejudice.    
         
    Hmmmm.... Interesting.

JosephineBelle See my TER Reviews 986 reads
posted
75 / 86

What matters isn't your intent or even really your actions, but how you take criticism. I'm not perfect, I still say shitty things all the time, but being able to listen to the person who was offended and consider "hey, maybe I don't understand because I'm not like them so I should listen to them and try to do better" makes all the difference. If more people would do that, this world would be a lot better.

Posted By: Courtney.Ova
Ok, makes sense. You're right, doing racist things is completely different that being racist.  
   
 The intent is never to do a racist thing, but pointing it out will help them understand. (Myself included). As long as people don't feel someone is being malicious behind those actions, or that little puff of smoke means there's a fire of racism within that person.  
   
 I don't get why we have to even be separate and hate that we even have to discuss this.  
   
 But I do apologize for misreading, and getting insulted so quickly. It's just upsetting to me to think it's so easy to come across as someone who is a racist person. Unfortunately, it does exist, so we have to live with the fact that some things we say may come across as insulting when it wasn't always the intent. It is what it is,  
   
   
   
Posted By: JosephineBelle
You don't have to be a card carrying KKK member to do racist things. Are the girls that ban AA men racist? Maybe, I never said they were. But the ACT of barring a certain race based on nothing but stereotypes IS a racist act. You don't have to be a professional boxer to punch me in the face and you don't have to be an overt racist to be guilty of racism. It's literally that simple. The law means nothing in my example because there are plenty of racist laws on the books to this day (as well as a racist police force and prison industrial complex but that's a different story). How can you acknowledge that you have never experienced the same racism as a white woman as I have as a Black woman and still try to say you know better than me about this subject? I haven't accused ANYONE of BEING a racist, just doing racist things.    
     
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
The employer is breaking the law.    
       
   Look  I get that you've seen a lot more as a black woman than anything I have ever seen. I've never been through what you have. I've been through similar things when I was a church goer, always being accused of involvement with starting wars, killing people, being judgmental, and having bad intentions toward humanity, when all I was doing was being happy in the thing I'd chosen.    
       
   I feel like innocent bystanders are getting accused of something they never had anything to do with. Many are just living their lives, doing their thing, and getting along with everyone.    
       
   I'm not saying providers who don't see black men AREN'T racist people. I'm simply saying, I don't know that they ARE, and no one does.    
       
   I have never argued that it's because they're not attracted - because as a provider, I've never felt I needed to be attracted to man for him to pay me. It doesn't make sense. But I do know there are guys out there who put that on lady's ads to avoid other pimps stronger than them. It's not the girl, it's the person doing her ads. Is it right? No. Neither is pimping a girl.    
       
       
       
       
       
   There are different variations and/or ways to define something.    
       
       
       
   
Posted By: JosephineBelle
Anytime you base your opinion of an entire race--literally millions of people--on stereotypes of what you imagine them to be like, it's racist. You see racist as a hostile word, I see racist as something almost everyone is to some extent and has to work to unlearn. An employer can't say "I don't hire Black people but I'll eat lunch with them" and not be considered racist, so why would it not be racist to say "I would never fuck a Black/Asian/whatever POC but I still LIKE them?" It's the same thing. You have a negative idea in your head about that race and have decided all people of that race fit that negative idea so you're writing them off based SOLELY on their race. I've had men reject me after approaching me because I clarify that I am and identify as Black (even though I'm mixed), so don't pretend that any sort of "preference" is based on anything but an aversion to that race and has nothing to do with individuals. It's racist, and it's fine, fuck or don't fuck who you want, but do not pretend that it's not racist to literally reject people without knowing them based SOLELY on their racial background. That is the dictionary definition of racism, there is no "different definitions." It means what it means.    
         
   
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
Not that we can create a definition out of thin air, but we generally look at a word and put different meanings to the word.      
           
     Here are two definitions I found.      
           
     1. animosity toward other races: prejudice or animosity against people who belong to other races      
     Animosity is a hostile stance toward something      
           
           
     2. belief in racial superiority: the belief that people of different races have different qualities and abilities, and that some races are inherently superior or inferior      
           
     How I have been viewing the term racism is a passionate going against a race due to the belief that all of a certain race is bad. When dealing with races vs risk involved based on experience over a period of time, some people may not be against the color of the skin, as much as their chances of having problems. Not ALL, but some.      
           
     I see racism as a very hostile, hateful word. I don't think the "No AA Men" is written with hate in all cases, it just may be laziness in the risk prevention department, or possibly a prejudice. But labeling them as racist, thinking they themselves are a better race entirely, I don't think that's true.      
           
           
     I've heard more ladies not wanting to see East Indian. When they explain it, it's generally their sexual behaviors or their diet. (Or circumcised vs uncircumcised). Do they not like Indians themselves? I'm not so sure. I think they just aren't comfortable with the 50% of past clientele who had different ways of expressing their sexuality. I do know this is true, because I've seen, and still see, a lot of East Indian gentlemen. I personally enjoy them, but also know they have some things they enjoy that I wasn't used to at first. Some gals choose not to risk something they aren't comfortable with.      
           
           
     Some cultures are also very rough.      
           
           
     It sucks that people have problems figuring out if the specific person meets their qualifications through extra screening, but a lot of people don't know how to get to that result, so they simply close the door on anything that can have a chance of bringing that kind of client in.      
           
           
           
     Anyway, just like no one can truly point a finger and judge each and every person's intent behind the limit, I can't say they're NOT racist. I'm questioning if they are truly saying that the AA race is inferior to other races. I highly doubt all are thinking this way.      
           
           
     Gambler, I don't really read other ladies' profiles on P411, so I never picked that one up.      
           
           
     Oh! Also, hotels. If the girl hosts an Incall, I wonder if they're worrying about neighbors talking more about AA men coming in and out, and becoming suspicious. This puts an entirely different spin on this, actually. When thinking about it, neighbors noticing AA's more than whites, etc, is a natural prejudice.      
           
     Hmmmm.... Interesting.

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 889 reads
posted
76 / 86

It's still hurtful and insulting, and ostracizing to be categorized. Based on what you just said, I would think you would understand my frustration in what you said.

Sorry about my uneducated reference to a Puerto Rican, but I never said Puerto Rican was a race.  

 
Posted By: JosephineBelle
You being white affects your life experience and world view. Sorry, white people aren't discriminated against based on race on nearly the same scale as people of color. That's not racist, that's fact. White privilege is quantifiable and fact. If you were Puerto Rican, that wouldn't change anything unless you were Black because, hi, Puerto Rican isn't a race! There are white Puerto Ricans and white ones and indigenous ones, come on, this is 101 level shit.  
   
 That's sad you've been "unfriended because you were white," but I'm sure that's not the only reason. Call me, though, when someone calls you the N-word to your face for just walking by, or you get stopped by the police for just existing in close proximity to them, or overhear an interviewer saying "I didn't think she'd be Black" before telling you the position has been filled, then maybe we can have an informed conversation on racism.  
   
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
You just said something racist back to me. How does the fact that I'm a white girl have anything to do with this? What if I was Puerto Rican and said the same thing?  
     
  This is exactly why I'm insulted. Because my explanations are taken in a completely different light because I'm white. I guess I wish everyone wasn't racist too. Because I've taken a lot of shit, and even been unfriended by black friends just for being white. Then they go preach on Facebook how they are fighting racism. (This is an example for the sake of exposing hypocrisy)  
     
  If they would just live up to it themselves, maybe more people would listen. But I see what they say as pointless, because I don't see them living it.    
     
  Don't you feel like the "No AAs" are a personal attack? I understand why. But I kind of see the 'white girls - like you' all the time. It's frustrating.  
     
     
     
Posted By: JosephineBelle
S This is why racism still exists in this world, because white people, like you, think being called racist is a personal attack rather than acknolwedging that something you did can be harmful to people who don't look like you. That attitude won't change anything. Yes, fetishizing is racist. It's the same shit as when guys call me their little chocolate whatever, or tell me how much they're dying to "try" a Black chick. All you're doing is cementing the idea that Black people are some anomaly compared to white people and that white is the default.    
       
   Sorry, not sorry, it's racist. I'm not insulting you by saying that, instead, I'm hopefully giving you a reason to think about why you think the way you do and hopefully change for the better. 'Cause, newsflash, I'd love it if everyone WEREN'T racist, and didn't have those thoughts and ideas. I'm Black, remember? Everyone being racist ISN'T a benefit for me.    
       
   
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
I don't know what kind of people you hang around, but go copy and paste some definitions of racism. Because you are REDEFINING it just so you can tell me I'm racist for sharing a fantasy?    
         
    I do discriminate against severely opinionated, judgmental people. I now know I'll never be able to explain my thoughts to so done who not only doesn't understand it, but someone who doesn't understand it because they refuse to. You want us to be racist, so I have a thought about a preference, and now I'm racist.    
       
   -- Modified on 11/11/2014 8:25:19 AM
   
 -- Modified on 11/11/2014 9:04:47 AM

JosephineBelle See my TER Reviews 949 reads
posted
77 / 86

Here's my issue, and you're going to think this is "racist," but that's okay with me. Why is it, that whenever white people are called out on doing racist things, they think first and usually only about how it hurts their feelings to be called racist, and not how much it hurt the person of color they were doing racist things to? I'd rather be called racist a million times than experience the racism I experience daily. I'd rather be called out by someone who cares about me being educated on these issues than be judged harshly based on nothing other but my skin color. Why hasn't that occurred to you?  

For example: Oh, no, someone thinks you're racist for not seeing AA men, how about ALL the AA men who are looking to see someone and think you're amazing but will never get a chance because you've written them off based on something they have absolutely no control over? Oh no, someone thinks you're racist for saying you won't fuck Black women. How about ALL the Black women who go on dating profiles, to clubs and bars, and read hundreds of tweets and "think pieces" per day about why some random person doesn't like Black women? How about our feelings? You feel ostracized because of your actions, I'm ostracized because of how I was BORN.  
 
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
It's still hurtful and insulting, and ostracizing to be categorized. Based on what you just said, I would think you would understand my frustration in what you said.  
   
 Sorry about my uneducated reference to a Puerto Rican, but I never said Puerto Rican was a race.  
   
   
   
Posted By: JosephineBelle
You being white affects your life experience and world view. Sorry, white people aren't discriminated against based on race on nearly the same scale as people of color. That's not racist, that's fact. White privilege is quantifiable and fact. If you were Puerto Rican, that wouldn't change anything unless you were Black because, hi, Puerto Rican isn't a race! There are white Puerto Ricans and white ones and indigenous ones, come on, this is 101 level shit.  
     
  That's sad you've been "unfriended because you were white," but I'm sure that's not the only reason. Call me, though, when someone calls you the N-word to your face for just walking by, or you get stopped by the police for just existing in close proximity to them, or overhear an interviewer saying "I didn't think she'd be Black" before telling you the position has been filled, then maybe we can have an informed conversation on racism.    
     
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
You just said something racist back to me. How does the fact that I'm a white girl have anything to do with this? What if I was Puerto Rican and said the same thing?    
       
   This is exactly why I'm insulted. Because my explanations are taken in a completely different light because I'm white. I guess I wish everyone wasn't racist too. Because I've taken a lot of shit, and even been unfriended by black friends just for being white. Then they go preach on Facebook how they are fighting racism. (This is an example for the sake of exposing hypocrisy)    
       
   If they would just live up to it themselves, maybe more people would listen. But I see what they say as pointless, because I don't see them living it.    
       
   Don't you feel like the "No AAs" are a personal attack? I understand why. But I kind of see the 'white girls - like you' all the time. It's frustrating.    
       
       
       
   
Posted By: JosephineBelle
S This is why racism still exists in this world, because white people, like you, think being called racist is a personal attack rather than acknolwedging that something you did can be harmful to people who don't look like you. That attitude won't change anything. Yes, fetishizing is racist. It's the same shit as when guys call me their little chocolate whatever, or tell me how much they're dying to "try" a Black chick. All you're doing is cementing the idea that Black people are some anomaly compared to white people and that white is the default.      
         
    Sorry, not sorry, it's racist. I'm not insulting you by saying that, instead, I'm hopefully giving you a reason to think about why you think the way you do and hopefully change for the better. 'Cause, newsflash, I'd love it if everyone WEREN'T racist, and didn't have those thoughts and ideas. I'm Black, remember? Everyone being racist ISN'T a benefit for me.      
         
   
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
I don't know what kind of people you hang around, but go copy and paste some definitions of racism. Because you are REDEFINING it just so you can tell me I'm racist for sharing a fantasy?      
           
     I do discriminate against severely opinionated, judgmental people. I now know I'll never be able to explain my thoughts to so done who not only doesn't understand it, but someone who doesn't understand it because they refuse to. You want us to be racist, so I have a thought about a preference, and now I'm racist.    
         
    -- Modified on 11/11/2014 8:25:19 AM
 
     
  -- Modified on 11/11/2014 9:04:47 AM

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 939 reads
posted
78 / 86

Yes, true. Speaking (and reading) out of passion and/or frustration really messes things up. I also feel like the defenses and explanations of a lot of opposing beliefs on this aren't being understood or considered by those stating it.

But you are definitely right, I've never been there. I've been categorized and criticized for the way I grew up, (growing up poor and with no parents around, that gets you criticized and categorized immensely in a middle class town.)

Again, a lot of us haven't seen what you guys have seen, so when those words 'white girl thinks this way' come out of someone's mouth, because we haven't lived what you've lived, we don't understand and naturally will be offended.

There are apparently some areas to grow in for me personally in my listening and understanding someone else's point of view, and giving grace when someone says something not so politically correct to me. I just have remember the person speaking may be coming from something much deeper than their words, and just understand that. It's not easy, but it shows there's an ego lingering.

Sigh

 
Posted By: JosephineBelle
What matters isn't your intent or even really your actions, but how you take criticism. I'm not perfect, I still say shitty things all the time, but being able to listen to the person who was offended and consider "hey, maybe I don't understand because I'm not like them so I should listen to them and try to do better" makes all the difference. If more people would do that, this world would be a lot better.  
   
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
Ok, makes sense. You're right, doing racist things is completely different that being racist.  
     
  The intent is never to do a racist thing, but pointing it out will help them understand. (Myself included). As long as people don't feel someone is being malicious behind those actions, or that little puff of smoke means there's a fire of racism within that person.  
     
  I don't get why we have to even be separate and hate that we even have to discuss this.  
     
  But I do apologize for misreading, and getting insulted so quickly. It's just upsetting to me to think it's so easy to come across as someone who is a racist person. Unfortunately, it does exist, so we have to live with the fact that some things we say may come across as insulting when it wasn't always the intent. It is what it is,  
     
     
     
Posted By: JosephineBelle
You don't have to be a card carrying KKK member to do racist things. Are the girls that ban AA men racist? Maybe, I never said they were. But the ACT of barring a certain race based on nothing but stereotypes IS a racist act. You don't have to be a professional boxer to punch me in the face and you don't have to be an overt racist to be guilty of racism. It's literally that simple. The law means nothing in my example because there are plenty of racist laws on the books to this day (as well as a racist police force and prison industrial complex but that's a different story). How can you acknowledge that you have never experienced the same racism as a white woman as I have as a Black woman and still try to say you know better than me about this subject? I haven't accused ANYONE of BEING a racist, just doing racist things.    
       
   
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
The employer is breaking the law.      
         
    Look  I get that you've seen a lot more as a black woman than anything I have ever seen. I've never been through what you have. I've been through similar things when I was a church goer, always being accused of involvement with starting wars, killing people, being judgmental, and having bad intentions toward humanity, when all I was doing was being happy in the thing I'd chosen.    
         
    I feel like innocent bystanders are getting accused of something they never had anything to do with. Many are just living their lives, doing their thing, and getting along with everyone.    
         
    I'm not saying providers who don't see black men AREN'T racist people. I'm simply saying, I don't know that they ARE, and no one does.      
         
    I have never argued that it's because they're not attracted - because as a provider, I've never felt I needed to be attracted to man for him to pay me. It doesn't make sense. But I do know there are guys out there who put that on lady's ads to avoid other pimps stronger than them. It's not the girl, it's the person doing her ads. Is it right? No. Neither is pimping a girl.      
         
         
         
         
         
    There are different variations and/or ways to define something.      
         
         
         
   
Posted By: JosephineBelle
Anytime you base your opinion of an entire race--literally millions of people--on stereotypes of what you imagine them to be like, it's racist. You see racist as a hostile word, I see racist as something almost everyone is to some extent and has to work to unlearn. An employer can't say "I don't hire Black people but I'll eat lunch with them" and not be considered racist, so why would it not be racist to say "I would never fuck a Black/Asian/whatever POC but I still LIKE them?" It's the same thing. You have a negative idea in your head about that race and have decided all people of that race fit that negative idea so you're writing them off based SOLELY on their race. I've had men reject me after approaching me because I clarify that I am and identify as Black (even though I'm mixed), so don't pretend that any sort of "preference" is based on anything but an aversion to that race and has nothing to do with individuals. It's racist, and it's fine, fuck or don't fuck who you want, but do not pretend that it's not racist to literally reject people without knowing them based SOLELY on their racial background. That is the dictionary definition of racism, there is no "different definitions." It means what it means.      
           
     
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
Not that we can create a definition out of thin air, but we generally look at a word and put different meanings to the word.      
             
      Here are two definitions I found.      
             
      1. animosity toward other races: prejudice or animosity against people who belong to other races      
      Animosity is a hostile stance toward something      
             
             
      2. belief in racial superiority: the belief that people of different races have different qualities and abilities, and that some races are inherently superior or inferior      
             
      How I have been viewing the term racism is a passionate going against a race due to the belief that all of a certain race is bad. When dealing with races vs risk involved based on experience over a period of time, some people may not be against the color of the skin, as much as their chances of having problems. Not ALL, but some.      
             
      I see racism as a very hostile, hateful word. I don't think the "No AA Men" is written with hate in all cases, it just may be laziness in the risk prevention department, or possibly a prejudice. But labeling them as racist, thinking they themselves are a better race entirely, I don't think that's true.      
             
             
      I've heard more ladies not wanting to see East Indian. When they explain it, it's generally their sexual behaviors or their diet. (Or circumcised vs uncircumcised). Do they not like Indians themselves? I'm not so sure. I think they just aren't comfortable with the 50% of past clientele who had different ways of expressing their sexuality. I do know this is true, because I've seen, and still see, a lot of East Indian gentlemen. I personally enjoy them, but also know they have some

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1054 reads
posted
79 / 86

A feeling is a feeling, and everyone has a right to communicate how they feel about a situation. You do, I do, and so does the OP. As long as they're involved.

If you hurt my feelings, about anything, even race, and I'm telling you that it hurt my feelings, it's because I want to work it out and make it right. Otherwise, I'm being dominated into submission and silence, as a punishment for how others treated you.  

Quite honestly, I think a person is a person, and when someone I generally respect, (and yes I have respected you on these boards for a long time,) hurts my feelings or says something I think is off about me, (or a category I fit in,)  I want them to understand how I feel and think so we can move forward, and I should do the same for them. Otherwise something is damaged that didn't have to be.

The comments about white people being privileged is not as strong as what you experience, but I've been around for 33 years, and this white privilege stuff is growing. I hear it more and more, and while it holds true in some cases, it bothers me, because I and many people I know who are white, don't think that way. One day I had ten dollars on me and to my name. I had a physical disability that wasn't noticeable if I managed it or sat down on time.

I entered a bus, and while I don't have a disability card, I sat down in a very empty wheelchair section. Three disabled persons got on the next two stops and proceeded to loudly talk to each other about how privileged Rich people just sit in the wheelchair section when they don't need to. The last thing I had the energy to do, (I was tired and took the bus to avoid problems by walking as pain developed,) was to prove to them I needed to sit there. I was totally judged.

You know I also have walked like a cripple for almost a year and a half a few years ago. I fell in a mall in North Carolina and had people (one black guy) making fun of me because I had heels on. I have never seen anything like that, but I dealt with those types of things constantly. I'm a normal looking, well dressed while lady who is young and healthy. People are not nice to you when you lose your stride. They are in fact very mean because of how you walk. On the days I walked fine, I was able to go grocery shopping by cab. I pulled out a LINK card I had at the time (in Illinois) and you wouldn't believe the looks I got. It was because I looked completely capable of living a normal life and working a normal job.

Maybe that's where I'm coming from. Being a healthy white pretty girl walking like a cripple. (Or not walking at all.) I wonder if I was old or looked a different way if I would have been respected instead of publicly scrutinized to a level I couldn't believe. I am still shocked at what I saw. So I guess being assumed to be privileged because of what I look like brings back some nasty memories, and some nasty feelings. I learned not to judge people for their situation during that time, so I get upset when I see it happening.

 
 
Posted By: JosephineBelle
 
 Here's my issue, and you're going to think this is "racist," but that's okay with me. Why is it, that whenever white people are called out on doing racist things, they think first and usually only about how it hurts their feelings to be called racist, and not how much it hurt the person of color they were doing racist things to? I'd rather be called racist a million times than experience the racism I experience daily. I'd rather be called out by someone who cares about me being educated on these issues than be judged harshly based on nothing other but my skin color. Why hasn't that occurred to you?  
   
 For example: Oh, no, someone thinks you're racist for not seeing AA men, how about ALL the AA men who are looking to see someone and think you're amazing but will never get a chance because you've written them off based on something they have absolutely no control over? Oh no, someone thinks you're racist for saying you won't fuck Black women. How about ALL the Black women who go on dating profiles, to clubs and bars, and read hundreds of tweets and "think pieces" per day about why some random person doesn't like Black women? How about our feelings? You feel ostracized because of your actions, I'm ostracized because of how I was BORN.  
   
   
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
It's still hurtful and insulting, and ostracizing to be categorized. Based on what you just said, I would think you would understand my frustration in what you said.  
     
  Sorry about my uneducated reference to a Puerto Rican, but I never said Puerto Rican was a race.    
     
     
     
Posted By: JosephineBelle
You being white affects your life experience and world view. Sorry, white people aren't discriminated against based on race on nearly the same scale as people of color. That's not racist, that's fact. White privilege is quantifiable and fact. If you were Puerto Rican, that wouldn't change anything unless you were Black because, hi, Puerto Rican isn't a race! There are white Puerto Ricans and white ones and indigenous ones, come on, this is 101 level shit.    
       
   That's sad you've been "unfriended because you were white," but I'm sure that's not the only reason. Call me, though, when someone calls you the N-word to your face for just walking by, or you get stopped by the police for just existing in close proximity to them, or overhear an interviewer saying "I didn't think she'd be Black" before telling you the position has been filled, then maybe we can have an informed conversation on racism.    
       
   
Posted By: Courtney.Ova
You just said something racist back to me. How does the fact that I'm a white girl have anything to do with this? What if I was Puerto Rican and said the same thing?    
         
    This is exactly why I'm insulted. Because my explanations are taken in a completely different light because I'm white. I guess I wish everyone wasn't racist too. Because I've taken a lot of shit, and even been unfriended by black friends just for being white. Then they go preach on Facebook how they are fighting racism. (This is an example for the sake of exposing hypocrisy)    
         
    If they would just live up to it themselves, maybe more people would listen. But I see what they say as pointless, because I don't see them living it.      
         
    Don't you feel like the "No AAs" are a personal attack? I understand why. But I kind of see the 'white girls - like you' all the time. It's frustrating.    
         
         


-- Modified on 11/11/2014 10:23:00 AM

JosephineBelle See my TER Reviews 915 reads
posted
80 / 86

This is where so many white people get confused: White privilege has nothing to do with your quality of life. It simply means you have the luxury of never wondering if your race is holding you back. Because yeah, you grew up poor, but I grew up BLACK AND POOR, sure, you're disabled, but I have been and my mother is, disabled AND BLACK. I used to have to walk with a cane, and I had a woman LITERALLY KICK me on the bus once for sitting in the disabled area. Guess what race she was?

 Just adding a non-white race into the equation opens you up to all kinds of race-based discrimination that white people have never and will never experience. Because people expect you to be poor and dumb and all other kinds of things when you're Black. You get the benefit of the doubt when you're white. You get to walk down the street and not be harassed by cops. You get to never wonder if it was your race that made you not get that job, or that got you arrested, or got you denied benefits.  

If no one saw you "walk like a cripple", and had no idea how much money you made, you'd still get judged better than me on the whole because you're white and I'm Black. Have you ever had a white woman ask if you "know your father" on Father's Day? Have you ever been followed around a store when the clothes you were wearing cost more than the rent on the damn place? Have you ever been told you're "cute for a white girl?" Have you ever had to listen to people completely trash people who look like you and then call you "one of the good ones?" Have you ever had to spend your last dime on a nice outfit just to go to the welfare office not looking poor so maybe they'll help you? Have you ever been asked "how many kids you have" by a complete stranger? Have you ever been written off in college classes because "you just got in because you're Black?" White privilege is real and I struggle AGAINST it everyday while you benefit directly from the institutions built to keep me and other POC down.  

So, I'm actually legitimately not sorry if my calling out racism makes you feel bad. You're entitled to your feelings, and I'm entitled to a system that literally wants me dead, gone or incarcerated based on my skin color, and the quicker you understand that racism is literally getting people of color killed everyday so your "sadness" will never compare to actual lost lives, the better. I know this sounds harsh, but I've had this conversation a hundred times. I'm done coddling white people's feelings about racism. What about MY feelings about racism? Because you can walk away from this conversation and not deal with anyone talking about your race or background or calling you out or anything. I can't walk away from society

jewelsz1979 11 Reviews 677 reads
posted
81 / 86

Damn girl that was Hott. I'm a Black man and definitely have had my fair share of women of different races discriminating. To the point where I must announce up front that I am a Black man otherwise I may risk the same discrimination against Black men as have been mentioned by many of you. I do feel it is racist to stereotype and discriminate for whatever the reason.  Attraction is important to me as well as chemistry. This is P4P though, no? I think that if you say you are not "attracted" to and therefore not willing to see a black client, then you also must be willing to reject clients of other races for other reasons you may not feel are attractive to you. There are many other factors and levels of attraction. I think it would be a lie for a woman who sees men on a P4P basis to say that they find all of their clients attractive and nothing about them was unattractive. So to discriminate against a particular race is racist IMHO.

On a side note Josephine, I think your post here is extremely attractive. Asking myself why I haven't seen you yet....... Just to make sure I'm not being a hypocrit, the post would have been equally attractive coming from any woman, any race. Josephine, hit me up though. I don't have VIP on here, but send it to my same name here at yahoo. Love sexyou educated woman that are "about" something.  
Posted By: JosephineBelle
When you say "I'm not attracted to x race" it's based solely on stereotypes. Black women, for example, come in every shape, size and color you can imagine. Halle Berry is Black, obviously, so is Naomi Campbell, but, guess what, so is Nicole Richie and Rashida Jones and Adriana Lima and plenty of women that these same people calling Black woman unattractive would call attractive. Hell, I get emails EVERYDAY from men saying "I'm usually not attracted to Black women but you're beautiful" and variations thereof.  
   
 So, when you say "I'm not attracted to this race," you're saying "I have a negative image of what people of this race look like and I'm not attracted to it," and that's racist, end of story. Be racist all you want, just don't do these mental gymnastics to try to pretend you're not. You can do what you want with your body, but sometimes, those preferences and restrictions are actually discriminatory. No one's gonna force you to fuck a Black guy if you don't want to but maybe you should do some soul searching to find out why you don't want to.  
   
Posted By: JuliasLittleSecret
Any more than a man who will not see a woman of a particular race is defined as racist.    
     
  Some men are not attracted to white women, or Asian women, or black women.  And I know ladies who have plenty of black male friends who just aren't physically attracted to black men as sexual partners.  It's not because they feel that black men are beneath them...they simply aren't physically attracted to them.  And there is no racism if this is the case, IMO.  
     
  I think that most of us are attracted to certain races for one reason or another...it's just chemistry, not racism.    
     
  Although I do applaud your support of the right to be racist.  It's a very honest and acceptable statement, IMO.  :)  I never feel discriminated against when a man chooses a juicy Latina over me...hell, I might even like her better myself.  LOL  
     
  =P  
     
Posted By: GaGambler
what I cannot support is trying to redefine the word to make one feel better about oneself. If a person wants to be a racist, it's a free country, and what can be a more personal decision that the right to fuck or not fuck whoever you want to?  
     
  That said, if a woman doesn't want to fuck black guys, why even bother trying to claim she not a racist? No one with half a brain buys the excuses, and from a practical standpoint why should she care what "those people" think anyhow?  
     
  and Courtney, for the record there are a LOT of women at your price point with NBA policies, just check out P411 or any other escort mall if you doubt me.
   
 -- Modified on 11/10/2014 8:14:00 PM

LawrenceOfaLabia 819 reads
posted
82 / 86
HangingwithBears 798 reads
posted
83 / 86

You make valid points about racism being alive and well. There's no doubt about it but if you believe that every guy here picks providers based on their race, you're wrong. I pick providers based on my preferences of beauty, body, personality, and rates and I'm sure there are many others doing the same. In fact, I think the majority of guys pick this way.

You're exhibiting the angry black woman stereotype in this thread. The conversation should be about sex but you've turned it into a discussion about racism in America and whites vs every other race. You're half white by your own words - are you prejudiced against your own father for being white? I have no doubt you've experienced racial discrimination but you can't lay the blame on every white person and conclude that all of us are racist. You seem to want to make us feel guilty for being born white and that we owe you something personally because you weren't. We are what we are and we make the best of it.

You're making us afraid to see you because we're bound to make some unwitting remark you'll consider racist thereby ruining the session. I don't see providers who I feel I'll be walking on eggs around. You're coming off as that type of provider. I still think highly of you, you're obviously intelligent and have the physical traits that I like but the personality you're exhibiting in this thread is a little scary. No guy wants the angry black woman experience unless he's into it as part of some fetish. I'm not on a fuck board to fight racism, I'm here looking for hot sex with the least amount of drama possible. If you believe white men are inherently racist, then don't see white men. I can say with confidence that you're wrong if this is your assumption but it's your body and you get to choose who you share it with. I'd never see a girl who already has something against me because I was born white.

Angela_Petite2 See my TER Reviews 853 reads
posted
84 / 86

I have come to know many Italians in Chicago and across the states and they are by far NOT scary at all.
You have to be raised an Italian or around us to feel the comfort . But many of us are not respected and I will
leave it at that

JosephineBelle See my TER Reviews 533 reads
posted
85 / 86

I never said men pick their providers based on race, so I'm not sure why you're putting words in my mouth. The "Angry Black woman" stereotype is just that, a stereotype, and it's incredibly racist on its own. Why isn't Courtney being called an angry white woman? Why do I have that label assigned to me because I'm showing passion about something that obviously affects me? I have no desire to make anyone feel guilty because of their race, but I do tend to avoid people who deny that racism is a problem in this country and even more so in this industry.  

My relationship to my parents is none of your concern, but, I will say that plenty of men have reached out to me both in past threads where I've gone off about race and in response to this one commending me for speaking up, so, regardless of what you think about how my posts come off to others, I'm doing just fine. Once again, you're putting words in my mouth by saying I think white men or people in general are inherently racist. Please point me to where I said that. Please also point me to where I said I dislike white people or that any woman, including myself, has no right to do with her body what she pleases.  

I don't know what you talk about during your sessions, but I don't make it a habit of bringing up race relations when I'm with a client who has chosen me to spend his time and money on, regardless of what race he may be, so the idea that you'd be "walking on eggshells" is laughable. This is a public forum, a meeting of the minds, if you will, and while this thread may have started out being about sex, there's an obvious reason the initial question was even posed, and I've taken the liberty of pointing it out. If you disagree with me to the point that you don't want to see me, that's fine, but, I've agreed with everything you've said in this thread, and while we obviously lead different lives, we at least seem to be on the same page, here, so, why would I have any reason to be the "angry black woman" with someone who at least gets what I'm saying on a base level?

All that said, I have no issues with white people--or anyone--who have no issues with me. My father is white, every man I've ever dated was white, 99 percent of my clients are white, and most of my friends are white. If you find my passion about an issue that has quite literally shaped my life and experiences "scary," that's your right. I'd never force a man who's uncomfortable with me to see me, just like I'd never force a woman who's uncomfortable with Black men to see them. But I invite you to consider why. Why does my passion discourage you from seeing me, but you've said nothing to Courtney or the other people in this thread who have quite literally said actual racist things? Why am I--seemingly the only Black person in this thread other than the OP--the target? Am I really in the wrong here for encouraging people to evaluate their deep seeded ways of thinking? You said yourself I make valid points.
Posted By: Polish_Pirate
You make valid points about racism being alive and well. There's no doubt about it but if you believe that every guy here picks providers based on their race, you're wrong. I pick providers based on my preferences of beauty, body, personality, and rates and I'm sure there are many others doing the same. In fact, I think the majority of guys pick this way.  
   
 You're exhibiting the angry black woman stereotype in this thread. The conversation should be about sex but you've turned it into a discussion about racism in America and whites vs every other race. You're half white by your own words - are you prejudiced against your own father for being white? I have no doubt you've experienced racial discrimination but you can't lay the blame on every white person and conclude that all of us are racist. You seem to want to make us feel guilty for being born white and that we owe you something personally because you weren't. We are what we are and we make the best of it.  
   
 You're making us afraid to see you because we're bound to make some unwitting remark you'll consider racist thereby ruining the session. I don't see providers who I feel I'll be walking on eggs around. You're coming off as that type of provider. I still think highly of you, you're obviously intelligent and have the physical traits that I like but the personality you're exhibiting in this thread is a little scary. No guy wants the angry black woman experience unless he's into it as part of some fetish. I'm not on a fuck board to fight racism, I'm here looking for hot sex with the least amount of drama possible. If you believe white men are inherently racist, then don't see white men. I can say with confidence that you're wrong if this is your assumption but it's your body and you get to choose who you share it with. I'd never see a girl who already has something against me because I was born white.

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