Hello, my name is (Insert name) and I would like to schedule an appointment/book a date with you/see you.meet you on (insert day or date) at (insert time or time frame) for (insert desired length of date). (if this is an email include your phone number, if this is a text include your email) (include, P411 info if that applies)

 
This is the very simple and most effective way of booking a date with a provider and has the best chance for success.

Some providers are fine with this information others may require references.

Are you saying that is the WRONG way to go about it??? lmao

Totally wrong in SO many different ways. Lol

continue reading and replying to the request.

-- Modified on 2/21/2017 8:38:51 PM

"I wanna fuck"  
And that was all lmao

You would be surprised how many emails say exactly what you just wrote.

Giggles

No no not busy at all just sitting on my couch fingering myself while watching Jerry Springer waiting for first name U last name Busy to just come on over.  

Or my other fav, I get a text message regarding an appointment from someone I don't know. I respond I don't know who this is and to please send your request to my email -crickets.  I don't do text with unknowns.

in the subject line with nothing in the body of the message

Ho muc 2hr greek?

Stuff like that is not even respond-able.  that is when you have to put an L on your forhead and think, nope, you are too stupid to ride THIS ride!

END OF MESSAGE

You want to play with the bad boys and have follow rules ok

Hobbyists tend to be politically correct old fuddy duddies and the furthest thing in the world from being bad boys, and that is exactly what most hookers want. The last thing a hooker needs in her life is a fucking bad boy making her life difficult. Hookers want kind, respectful gentlemen that will follow their rules. Why do you think most hookers have a minimum age, but not a maximum? It's to hopefully cull out as many of the bad boys as they can.

For the record I am NOT a hobbyist. I am a whoremonger, I HATE political correctness. I am also NOT a bad boy. Maybe once in my life that description might have applied, but as I near 60, the last thing I want to be is a bad boy.

I'm not sure I understand your post?  But whatever works for you. I'm not sure I'd describe my gentleman as bad boys I'd imagine they are typical good dudes who need some erotic attention.

Keep telling yourself that and you will believe it some day.

You are dealing with 90 percent married men that are cheating on there wifes or girlfriends. You are dealing with people that are breaking the law that don't want to be exposed with what they are doing. Even though I believe it should be legal. Most of society looks at this group as people that do not want to follow rules.

END OF MESSAGE

... but from what providers have shared with us here, this is clearly another case where satire can't keep up with reality.

Though your humor would be much appreciated once we're alone...