Here's my ranking of clubs:
#1) The Men's Club (Tyvola road by Costco): this is the highest end club.  Good selection of ladies of all types and sizes.  It's lower pressure club where you sit down and converse in wing back chairs before private room.  While there is a main stage and 3 satellite stages, its not a line up at stage and get lots of table dances type of vibe.  Management takes advantage of girls though and plays favorites, especially the GM.  I spent lots of money at this club, but at $500 for a private dance were I still couldn't touch much, I ditched it and went the sugar baby route.

#2) Uptown Cabaret: busy club, but more of a sports/game day atmosphere.  If I recall, owner or manager was a dancer.  Guards with pat you down and scan you.  Many dancers with 3 stages. Upstairs YMMV.

#3) Scores (Mooresville Lake Norman): good club with good variety.  More hustle and stage oriented.  Upstairs YMMV.
#4) Gentleman's Club (Woodlawn): good club with decent variety.  More hustle and stage oriented. Upstairs YMMV.
#5) Paper Doll (Wilkenson by Airport): sometimes more of a country feel.  More hustle and stage oriented. Upstairs YMMV.

All the rest mainly owned by AML.  These are smaller clubs (Gold Club, Leather and Lace, Crazy Horse) that definitely are more hustle.  Warning: I know first hand drugs are pushed through these clubs, I've been robbed at gun point at 1 club, and conned by ladies at two of them.  However, if you want more "intimate" private dances, you definitely may be able to get away with more at these clubs.

Didn't review Onyx.  Primarily an African American club and I didn't feel as welcome, but I'm sure if you flash money around, you will get good service and probably a more intimate experience.

Happy Clubbing

Good luck. Scores in Mooresville is your best bet or maybe Gentlemens Club south

I've only been to the Gentleman's Club. It's a nice venue and good for a date. Definitely female friendly.